BS: more quirky news

Subject: BS: more quirky news !
From: Emma B
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 09:39 AM

Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Even *greater* Britons
From: SaraM
Date: Fri, 06 Dec 2002 22:19:21 +1100

Did you know that, according to the British Home and Leisure Accident Surveillance System, 37 British people suffered serious tea cosy injuries in 1999 and had to be admitted to hospital for treatment? No?

Well, how about the 165 who fell victim to rogue and dangerous placemat injuries? Or bread bins with their tally of 91 poor Brits needing medical attention? Pales into insignificance next to the 146 poor souls maimed and traumatized by their dust pans, doesn't it? AND the 73 talc victims, the 329 people harmed by their toilet roll holder, and the 787 imperilled by their sponge. Especially when compared to the fiendish tally rung up by those devilish English clothes baskets - 3,421 emergencies caused just by this seemingly innocent-looking article of homeware alone 8( Makes you feel almost complacent about the 311 who had bird baths attack them - well - until you realize that that figure represents a whopping 166 per cent increase over the previous year's survey. And then of course there's *leaves* - 1,171 victims fell to them this year, only marginally less than the 5,615 hospitalizations due to wellington boot accidents, the 16,662 vicious attacking armchairs lurking out there, the 5,945 unwary persons damaged by their trousers *or* the socks and tights who managed to claim a combined total of 10,773 poor defenceless Poms.

These statistics were quoted on this weeks "News Quiz" (BBC Radio 4)
more ammunition for all you song challangers out there....

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: Sorcha
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 10:18 AM

ROF!

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 10:39 AM

Emma, would you mind if this thread were combined with "I Read it in the Newspaper"?

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 03:22 PM

Don't laugh! It's not funny going to a hospital and having to admit you were attacked by a wine bottle and leaving on crutches......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: alanabit
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 04:05 PM

This is the sort of writing, which Bill Bryson has brought off so hilariosly for the past decade or so. Thre is no doubt about it, life is a perilous maze of dustpans, door mats and toilet roll holders, all out there to get you. You have do die to be safe from these lurking terrors!

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: Metchosin
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 04:11 PM

and for gawds sake, beware the zippered fly.......the jaws that bite the claws that catch.

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 04:32 PM

A must read is Quirky Quips by Gerry Casey

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 06:50 PM

WYSIWYG

that thread (which I enjoy very much) is getting rather lengthy; I have been thinking about suggesting to you that a Part 2 be started next calendar year.

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: Emma B
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 08:38 PM

Susan - do you think that might be just a little bit hazardous - look what happened with a mere tea-cosy!
actually - it's more "I heard it on the steam radio......!"

Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 07:39 AM

And now it's the dreaded POKER DOTS! See this thread. They have already claimed Joybell as a victim!