BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw - home on Saturday!

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw update
From: Janie
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:15 AM

I'm too duflous to send any kind of card. But I'm sure that is fine with 'Spaw. He will simply chalk it up to inbreeding.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:31 AM

Janie, in his case, I'd say it takes one to know one or somesuch.:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 05:30 AM

I suppose that means we'll have to get the recovery ward of the NYCFTTS ready, look out the heavy duty bedpans and extra large swearbox, put the nurses in grab-proof flak jackets, moan, moan...
Stop doing this to us you old *&%^$.

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: open mike
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 09:40 AM

remind us, someone who knows...what is the story behind his nick name:
SPAW--does it have something to do with Cat's Paw? inquiring minds want to know....

best of luck and recovery and return home soon, Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 10:15 AM

You can find out more about him than you'd ever want to know in the "Member Personal Info and Photos" section of the drop-down menu. It's frightening.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 10:36 AM

I don't do email cards 'er even store bought... I just draw one up, stick the sumabich in an envelope and mail it... I draw one up tonight...

Meanwhile, goodest thoughts goin' Ohio-way...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:02 AM

If you dare to look at the members photos of "Catspaw49" you will note that the gentleman in questions has a jug of what is obviously intoxicating liquor next to him in the first photo. Worse is yet to come, which is probably why he has never posted a member's profile -- he's too ashamed to do so.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:15 AM

I looked at those photos once. Put me off my regular diet for almost a year. I had to get counseling.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:21 AM

Yeees, LH... some a them photos is pretty hairy.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:31 AM

open mike, I got tired of texting his whole name which is Catspaw49, so I shortened it to C'spaw, then it just got shortened to Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw update
From: ClaireBear
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:04 PM

What I want to know is what happened to Catspaws 1 through 48.

Subject: Slightly Better!
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:23 PM

Karen just called. He is doing a little bit better in that they did not have to vent him last night, when they thought they would have to..that is GOOD! She thinks he is almost out of the woods. He loves having his back scratched. She knows if he were awake enough he'd be bothering about his back hurting so much from lying in bed so much. He rolled over when she was visiting, so she scratched his back, knowing it would help him feel better. She was laughing when she told me he started making sounds like an ol' hound dog...in fact she said if he could he would've been kicking his legs it felt so good.:-) That's some visual, eh?

Karen says THANK YOU to you all and she loves us and will call when she knows more. She and the boys are going to go up this afternoon for a visit. They are very strict about visiting hours, esp. in ICU.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:27 PM

This is the first one that didn't work, ClaireBear.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw & KarenSpaw updated
From: Tinker
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:42 PM

Okay that hound scratching leg kickin' image was definately good for a smile....

Sent a card this morning, but I think Spaw went a little overboard in his annual avoidance of Getaway this year. After all this time we probably would've accepted a lesser excuse.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:00 PM

That's very selfless of you, 'Spaw, throwing yourself in front of hideobilia from Maine to protect Tom (and me). Thanks, too, for helping Tom and I take our minds off of Tom's current affliction.

Now get your healed posterior (and every other part of your anatomy) out of that hospital and home to your ever-lovin' wife!!! You of all people should know about getting caught in the medical clutches!

And stay the fxxk away from JELLO; I don't care what color it is. My ex-husband was in R&D with Atlantic Geletins; I KNOW what's in that crap (and how it eats holes in shoe leather).

Get well! (Yes. That's an order!)

Hugs,
Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 20
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:03 PM

I think there were no Catspaws born in 1901 to 1948. Hence, Spaw49.

Which means the aul' fart is actually younger nor me. Gawd, what an unsettling thought!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:06 PM

And here I always thunk Cats Paw was a rubber heel for shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:07 PM

Is he able to lick his balls?




SOmeone had to ask.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:32 PM

If he was, he wouldn't have had time for going to the hospital.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 10:13 PM

I know that no news is good news, but that don't keep me from looking. Again.

Still here,

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: Amergin
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:09 PM

Wow....after looking at those pictures....didn't realise that Spaw was a fan of the mullet....

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:37 AM

People. THINK. A phrase often used at Mudcat, never even think twice about it-- "Member Profile." THINK! Do we REALLY want to see a "member" profile... for SPAW? "Member" registration ought to be plenty!!! "Member" name..... O M G!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:56 AM

You mean, like a dog registration -- with an embedded microchip and maybe a tattooed number in his ear or something?

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 10:34 AM

Spaw needs to get better! and soon. This place isn't nearly as fun without him. Sending positive thoughts and best wishes.
                                     Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 10:53 AM

Neil! A pompous and pedantic type would quickly point out that the sentence "This place isn't nearly as fun without him" is lacking a VERY necessary word.

The word is "much". You don't say "isn't nearly as fun". That's NOT good English! Tut! Tut! No....you say "isn't nearly as much fun".

And there's your proof that this place isn't nearly as much fun with Spaw off duty.... ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 03:32 PM

I have not heard from Karen, yet, today. So, I called the hospital to find he is still in intensive care. As soon as I hear from her, I will post.

It's about time to kick this in high gear and turn him around!

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 20
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 04:53 PM

Actually, the informal expression "It's not as fun" is perfectly acceptable as a colloquialism, Little Hawk. Try not to act superior when you aren't.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: Micca
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 05:32 PM

Kat, I would think both long and deeply, with reference to Spaw, about the wisdom of "Turning him round"!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 05:55 PM

Oh, naughty Micca! Then I shall say, "Kick it in high gear and head him out on the straight-away with all twelve cylinders, or whatever he's got, firing away in sync and he might drive me to drinkin' if he don't quit drivin' that hot....rod....Lincoln!*bg* (I HAD to do it, folks!)

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 1 Sept. 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:32 PM

This is good...just spoke with Karen. They got him up and he sat in a chair for awhile, today, so he is more alert. Lung xrays showed a bit more gunk, being a true layabout isn't exactly good for them when one is ill, so they really are working on keeping him up more and coughing more. His BP and pulse look good and he is just on a nasal cannula for the O2 rather than the mask, which I am sure makes him much happier.

This is how we know he is on the mend, even though he is still in ICU and feels VERY miserable:

Karen said there were a bunch of nurses, etc. trying to get him back to the bed, having a hard time with all of the IV lines, O2 line, etc., including a tube coming out of his frontside into a urine bag. They got to laughing and joking about an accidental strangling and Karen having to sue them, when Pat said, he could just see the headline...Man strangled by his own urine!

He's back, very slowly and still fighting it off, but at least there's a glimmer of the Spaw we know. So keep it up folks, please!

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 12 Sept. 2009
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:36 PM

I am surprised, Amos, that you would not back me up fully when I make pompous and pedantic corrections such as I have just made to others' poor uses of English. Yes, I am very surprised! Could it be that you have a secondary reason for not doing so? An ulterior motive? A hidden agenda? I think so. I think you are opposing me just for the sheer pleasure of it, you scoundrel.

If the positions were reversed, would I be so low as to do the same to you? Would I???

Hmmmm.

Well, possibly I would. ;-D

Meanwhile the English language deteriorates before our very eyes. Shocking! Disturbing. Quasi-dimensional. Strange. Offbeat. Jejeune. Possibly even heretical.

But what does it all mean in teleological or heuristic terms of reference?

And what would Spaw say?

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:39 PM

"And what would Spaw say?"

In a week or so, you may well find out....

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:43 PM

And, will he call you on your foreign spelling or just tell you what a broke-dick mamalucca you are?

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM

'That's the question "everyone" is asking tonight....' (typical CNN comment)

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 10:55 PM

I tend to agree with Little Hawk in objecting to that construction. I remember how taken aback I was when my 16 or 17 year old daughter said that something was "funner than " something else. Huh? She is now 47 and I sincerely hope she no longer approves of that abomination.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 11:05 PM

Hmmm...

Funnier than a rubber crutch
Funnier than a diarrhetic without toilet paper
Funnier than the time Granma fell into the outhouse

More fun that a rubber crutch
More fun than a diarrhetic without toilet paper
More fun than the time Granma fell into the outhouse

Watching that was fun.
That was funnier than the last time.
That was the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Of everything I've seen, that was the funniest.

Oh, never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 02:57 AM

Rap, note that my daughter said FUNNER, not funnIer.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 20
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 03:54 AM

In a futile attempt to bring this thread back around to directing positive energy towards Spaw's recovery, may I just say,

GET THE FUCK OFF THE GUT CRAMPING GRAMMAR SPECULATIONS YOU POSSE OF PEDANTIC PENISES.

I never saw such a bunch of TWIDDLEDICKS.



Ouch, that hurt.

Spaw, ya gotta come back. I just cannot do the bombast with the same conviction as you.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: mouldy
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 04:36 AM

There is a condition called ICU Psychosis, apparently, which makes patients get quite abusive to staff. I doubt Spaw will be able to use that as an excuse, as if he gets any more back to his normal ascerbic self, he won't be in ICU!

Glad to hear he is gradually improving. Will be thinking of him.

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 08:23 AM

nasal cannula? A relative of the nose flute? Or a misplaced catheter? Inquiring minds want to know which is more funner...

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 08:40 AM

It's a catheter: they pour liquids in from above and it all comes right out the bottom -- a straight-through hose. There's another one that enters his mouth, but I won't describe its functions.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 09:17 AM

Well, VT, ain't you just a darn firecracker, I swan. Twiddledick, huh? Hmmmm.

LH, colloquial language is dynamic and it seeks the fastest (or sometimes the most colorful) path to understanding. Standing in its way is sometimes counter-productive.

Fun, funner, funnest: Adj.; Enjoyable or amusing


A

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: olddude
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 11:00 AM

VT
that was priceless, good job filling in for Spaw while he is recovering. LOL

you forgot to add Pricks in there

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 11:05 AM

In where? The nasal cannula???

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 05:23 PM

There's a Google advertisement on my screen for an enema supplier called (drum roll) "Enemeez". They sell enema bags and enema buckets. "ENEMA BUCKETS?" I thought, "I've never heard of an enema bucket! Who the hell could possibly be so full of shit that he'd need an enema BUCKET?"

Then I remembered the subject of this thread: our good Mr. Patterson.

So, I checked the site out, thinking an enema bucket would be an appropriate homecoming gift for Spaw, only to find, to my great disappointment, that an enema bucket is simply a graduated plastic pail for measuring and mixing enema solution. They're not for administering the enema at all! And the only size they have is 1500 ML. 1500 ML? That's only, like, 3/4 of a gallon! That's not a BUCKET! It's barely a friggin' pail!

So, does anyone know where to get a Spaw sized enema bucket? Something around, say, five gallons? And does anyone have a spare funnel and a few feet of garden hose?

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: gnu
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM

Never get hit with a bucket of shit,
And forget to close yer eyes.

Wish I could remember the rest of that song.

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 20
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 06:21 PM

Casey got hit with one, while the band played on....

I don't suppose that grade school classic is the one you're thinking of?


See where thinking about Spaw leads us?



A

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 06:56 PM

Oh dear. Must I admit that I know that song?

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 06:59 PM

We ask ourselves, "What would Spaw say?"

We try to emulate his posts.

Our veneration of Spaw is moving in a scary direction.

Russ (Permanent GUEST and potential spawciple)

Subject: RE: BS: Spare thoughts for Spaw update 13 Sept. 2009
From: gnu
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 07:13 PM

Scarey? Nah... Spaw was only ever being a regular guy that didn't give two fucks from Sunday what some sorry ass broke dick fuck had jammed up his tight ass and couldn'y shit out because of his anal retention. Spaw calls a fart a fart. And a bullshitter a bullshitter. And, Spaw will do it for many years, in his way, which most admire and laud, even though his prose is at time base and common and raw.... of the peeps, by the peeps, and for the peeps.

Scarey? Scarey if did leave us.

Rest well my good friend. And git yer ass back home.