BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???

Subject: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:56 PM

I don't think this question's been asked here before. Sure, there've been lots of "How Many" threads: Guitars (I have 14), Banjos (I have 4), Accordions ( I have 0, thank God). There might even have been a "How Many Chainsaws..." thread (I have 3), but never "How Many Spatulas..."

Now, don't tell me I'm the first Mudcatter to ponder this matter. Lots of you guys have probably wondered the very same thing before and just haven't been able to muster up the courage to start a thread. Well, here's your chance and I've already done all the hard work for ya! All you have to do is answer the question!

Well, I am the proud owner of no less than eleven spatulas! That's four of the type that are sometimes referred to as "pancake turners", two long-handled jobbies for barbecuing (that I never use since I never barbecue), four of the type used to get brownie batter out of the mixing bowl (or to get the last bit of mayo out of a jar), and one weird-ass thing that I only call a spatula because I have no idea what it's for but it looks sorta spatula-ish. I'm pretty sure it's not a knife or an eggbeater.

So there! Hah! Top that!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:58 PM

One. It's wooden. I could do with more, but that'd mean a trip to Ikea and I can't be arsed.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:00 PM

Are you sure it's a spatula if it's wooden? I've seen a wooden spoon, but not a spatula. I have three, a plastic one for cooking things in a pan, and two rubber ones for scraping things out. When fitting my life into two suitcases spatulas just didn't seem important enough to make it in.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:02 PM

Not enough. I am always rummaging in the dishwasher when I need one.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:03 PM

Shit! Maybe not. It's spatula-shaped, but indeed it may not actually be a spatula. It has slots in it. I'm going to spend the rest of the night worrying about this.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:05 PM

Oh, good question! Let's see:

one icing spatula, nonperforated, wooden-handled
one small pancake turner, perforated, wooden-handled
one rigid steel pancake turner, wooden-handled
3 misc. "vintage" pancake turners, perforated, painted wood-handled
one rigid steel round-ended pancake turner, nylon-handled
one extra-long pancake turner, perforated, steel-handled (professional type; best for fish)
one small synthetic rubber spatula, steel-handled
one large synthetic rubber spatula, steel-handled
one nylon spatula (Tupperware), hole in center, designed for mixing batter

What do you know -- that's 11! Coincidence? Hmmm.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:07 PM

Define spatula, SVP.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM

a tuning fork, musical spoons ... hmmm ... I'm sure there are some doodads that can serve more than one function. :)

I made the mistake of ordering a "high-temperature spatula" online. I wanted it to turn things over in a pan, but it was one of those other kind. ... :-P

I have a nice large metal one, which I can't use for my "non-stick" skillet.

I think I have a wooden one of the scraper type. It's a flat paddle thing that lives with my other wooden spoons.

I love going into cooking stores and looking at all the thing-a-ma-bobs. I don't know what any of them are called. Must be from my days of playing music on my mom's cooking stuff. :)

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,SKIPY
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:14 PM

5

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:23 PM

C'mon, Brucie, you know what a spatula is. It's too dull to be a knife, too flat to be a spoon, doesn't have tines so it's not a fork, and ya can't drink beer out of it. Anything that exhibits all those characteristics is eligible for spatulahood, though the final decision is up to the judges.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:24 PM

Oh! And, if it has an electrical cord it's not a spatula. All spatulas are cordless.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:31 PM

"It's too dull to be a knife, too flat to be a spoon, doesn't have tines so it's not a fork, and ya can't drink beer out of it."

Sounds like a not-too-bright dog I had once who was run over by a semi. Thanks, Bruce. Now I can answer: I had one, but not any longer.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:35 PM

I figure at least 5 or 6.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:46 PM

4 wooden
2 nylon for non stick
2 Metal

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:53 PM

7 I know about.
however they seem to be breeding when I turn my back, like the chopsticks.......

Bunnahabhain

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: harpgirl
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:33 PM

I had one wooden spatula but Susan borrowed it at the last Florida Folk Festival because she forgot the one she usually uses to spank Bruce with when they do the horizontal cha cha...






( ta, da: harpy takes a bow!)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Padre
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:36 PM

2 wood
4 metal (1 very long for the grill)
3-4 plastic/fiberglass?
Padre

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:41 PM

I'm single, but I have enough duplicate kitchen utensils for a small army. I think they're left in my kitchen at night by the same playful elves that steal the lids from all my pots and pans and plastic containers.

I have about 6 spatulas, metal and plastic, slotted and not, and one that mystifies me, it's spatulesque, having a one piece plastic handle and blade, the blade is slotted and curves slightly at the end, and it's also triangle shaped. I use it as a spatula when all the others are dirty.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:44 PM

Well, I wasn't going to get into this Spatula Envy contest but something made me open the door and rather than jOhn startin' it, my bud, Beezer, did so I figured, well, what the heck, I 'll go do a count.

Nine!!!

But, 4 of them are in a box of stuff to give away in the basement so I could say 5, as well...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:05 PM

• four rubbery bowl scraping spatulas
  

  Three are smallish.
  
  The other has an extra long handle and a large strurdy blade. It is known as the listening stick, because when I hold it children listen. Rattling the drawer in which it resides has been known to effect vast improvements in the behaviour of young boys.

  
  
• two small slotted tefflon-coating-safe spatulas for lifting or turning things that are hot
  
  
• one large slotted tefflon-coating-safe spatula for lifting or turning things that are hot
  
  
• two small metal-bladed spatulas for lifting or turning things that are hot
  
  
• one large metal-bladed spatula for lifting or turning things that are hot, with an extra long handle for using on the barbeque
  
  
• another one large metal-bladed spatula for lifting or turning things that are hot, with an extra long handle for using on the barbeque. This one was a gift. It has a very sharp cutting edge on one side that scares me so much I get goosebumps, just by looking at it, so it stays tucked away on a high shelf.
  
  
• two wooden spatulas for stirring/scraping hot semi-solids. One is well used, mostly for making Rice Krispies Squares, The other is in mint condition and has "for candy making" printed on it in indelible ink. Looks as if I don't make much candy, huh?
  

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:13 PM

That was your spatula, Harpy? Oops! We wore it out.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:23 PM

I'll count 'em, and answer tomorrow...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: CarolC
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:31 PM

I'm not telling.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:33 PM

I used to take real pride in my spatulas, but then I got married and moved into a house that was already full of cooking utensils. Most of my spatulas stayed in boxex, but I did rescue my two rectangular fry-cook spatulas (one large, one small), and one sturdy slotted spatula, and a plastic slotted spatula I use for cooking omelets in a nonstick pan.
Important things, those spatulas. Wish I could find the other ones...

I have to say that the wife's spatulas are junk. She has these clunky wooden things, because she doesn not want to get the aura of metal or plastic on her food. You can't do precision cooking with clunky wooden spatulas, and they never seem to be completely clean. When she'd not looking, I use my macho metal spats.

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:37 PM

Same here. I will get back on the figure. I have a bunch because I collect antique kitchen utinsils and they hang all over my kitchen.
One that comes to mind, different than most, has a heavy wire handle that you squeeze together and it turns over itself.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:44 PM

Wow!!What a WONDERFUL idea for a thread. I am stoked -- this is the first original idea to appear on the Cat since 2001, April.

My answer is five, including one large slotted originally used for filtering ktity litter but since converted to a chef's spatula....

maybe that was in the don't ask, don't tell department....


A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:45 PM

Hot damn! You heard the man! Now we've got something to blackmail Offer with!


Dear Mrs. Offer,

I know this may come as a shock to you, but are you aware that when you're away Joe uses metal spatulas?

A Friend


Just get in touch with me, Joe, and we'll see what we can do about making sure that letter never gets sent.

Be sure you have your checkbook handy.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:46 PM

I have

a bunch of little nylon flipper types
a bunch of rubber scraper-types
a bunch of regular-sized flipper-types
a bunch of wooden flipper types
a bunch of wooden scraper types
a bunch of rubber scraper types with slightly concave scrapers
a bunch of metal spreader types
a bunch of assorted types I can't make heads or tails of.

TOTAL: a bunch of various types of spatulas.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Blowzabella
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:47 PM

None - altho I do have 2 fish slices...and i don't eat fish...they all do the same job don't get? getting flat things out of things?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:11 PM

Free at last, free at last . . . .

Thank you, Venerable Rapaire. Flippers. Why the heck didn't someone say that to begin with?!! I coulda answered that right off if a certain someone who will go unnamed BRUCE hadn't used the word spatula like eveyone knows what it is. Sheeeeeeesh! I suppose we're gonna start giving them colours now, like cherry blossom mauve and antiquated begonia teal or stuff like that.

YES, I have NO flippers.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:13 PM

Nothin' fishie about my boy Bruce!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:34 PM

But flippers are only a small part of the grand totality that is spatulaness! Spatulas don't just flip! They scrape! They smooth! They saute'! They stir!

If you are only using your spatulas to flip, Brucie, you are only experiencing a small part of the spatula experience! Get with it, man! Go to a store and ask someone, "Excuse me, but can you direct me to the spatulas?" Don't be afraid to ask for help. Many people need a little push to get over that initial fear of spatulas. Just do it! You'll be glad you did.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:39 PM

In the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF there is an ad for a store called spatula city, and it had a wonderful jingle "Spatula City, Spatula City, we sell spatulas...and that's all" I've always wanted to go to that store.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM

Amos, remind me never to eat at your house....
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:47 PM

I thought it was "Spatula World" in that Weird Al movie, though I'd never be rude enough to insist I'm right. I always leave insisting I'm right up to other assholes whenever possible.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:55 PM

Since you brought it up I wasn't really sure it was Spatula City, but I just did a quick internet search and it appears to be city, not world.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:11 PM

Thank you. I'm glad I didn't insist.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:53 PM

I myself don't have them, but there is such a thing as "spatulate fingers." They could be used in place of spatulas, saving both money and counter space.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:00 PM

For the lonely chefs out there. Not quite pornography, but certainly arousing.

http://www.epinions.com/hmgd-Cooking-Tools-All-Spatulas

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:05 PM

A detail from the post above.

http://www.epinions.com/Global_10_5_Turner_Spatular__Spatulas_GS_27/display_~full_specs

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:11 PM

God, Brucie, did you have to?

Because of the gaps in its thin, spare metal skeleton, this turner-spatula is extremely flexible, lightweight, and versatile. The upward tilt of its front edge means you can lift and loosen foods from an angle rather than straight on. The 4.5-inch long slots in this turner also allow for good drainage, so cooks often use it for lifting delicate fried foods like fish fillets from a skillet. Constructed from a single piece of stainless steel, there's no risk of the handle loosening. The handle is imprinted with Global's signature tiny recessed dots that give it a slip-proof grip.

I hate to post such, well, arousing stuff here, but oh my god...oh my god...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Got a cigarette?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:33 PM

I know Rapaire. It's like nothing is sacred anymore. I no longer understand this world. I would become a recluse--but I think they're spiders.

Notice, as I am sure you did, such phrases as

extremely flexible, lightweight, and versatile
upward tilt of its front edge
from an angle rather than straight on
no risk of the handle loosening
tiny recessed dots that give it a slip-proof grip

Whew.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:41 PM

and for years, I thought that "Spatula" was a Yiddish word. Like "Tumult".

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:45 PM

Cigarette, hell! How about some Prozac? God! Those are some fine spatulas! I'm in lust!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:04 PM

Don't forget the left handed spatulas.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: moonglow
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:11 PM

Well, I went and did a quick spatula count and came up with this:

10 "proper" spatulas- (the rubber/silicone type- my mom's (SRS') are white, but my dad has some quite nice coloured ones)
1 wooden spatula (used mainly (to my knowledge) for scrambled eggs and the occasional italian sausage, and for nonstick pans)
1 spreading-spatula (the variety of which my Home-Ec teacher insisted was the only true variety of spatula, although I refused to believe her)
4 pancake/hamburger-flipping-type spatulas
2 antiques of the former, both of which are highly evolved and contain mechanisms to grip and/or turn with but a squeeze of the hand
1 cake server (which could be used in times of dire need as a spatula)
2 (handle-free!) nylon pan scrapers

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:19 PM

You guys, this stuff is all over the internet. The depravity of cooks--well, I just never knew. Look at this link and don't even TRY to tell me we aren't living in a strange world. And the sublime nature of the sales technique? Pass it off as KITCHEN implements. Huh! Like, WE know what it's REALLY for!

http://www.wokshop.com/products_main.html

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:29 PM

Nice, Brucie, but it ain't spatulas. I mean it's okay to be into woks and sushi sets if that's what trips your trigger, but it's just not the way I'm wired. I'll just stick with my spatulas.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:31 PM

I myself don't have them, but there is such a thing as "spatulate fingers." They could be used in place of spatulas, saving both money and counter space.

Well, that's a medical condition. However, my ex calls them "asbestos fingers" when I pick up things that were in the pan (or are still in the pan) and move them, turn them, slide, nudge, or on occasion, pick them up off the stovetop or floor and put them back. (Julia Child said that what they don't know won't hurt them. . .) anyway, my ex (the guy with the colorful spatulas) says his mom also has asbestos fingers. I think it just comes from cooking a lot and running out of spatulas. . .

I'd love one of these for out in the back yard. It could double as a spatula.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:43 PM

OK, guys. Sorry. I got carried away. Internet sites--some just get to ya, ya know? I'm back on track again.

deluxe edition