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Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it?
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Subject: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Rick Fielding Date: 16 May 00 - 12:33 PM A few months ago, one of my old teachers got in touch with me, and we've been coresponding since then. He put me in touch with a website of one of my schools, MacDonald High in Montreal. They've got a big reunion coming up, and I must admit my curiosity has been piqued. I'd love to know what the other 51-53 year olds have done with their lives...I think my terminal curiosity about folks and life in general is no secret here. Now the other thing that's no secret is my disastrous schooling in general. Today it's fodder for a lot of my humour, but at the time it was pretty unpleasant and downright scary at times. I've gotten a lot of "one liner" mileage out of forging sick-notes, hookey 101, and leading the league in detentions....and granted, now I wouldn't change a thing in the directions I took...but at the time, I really WANTED to fit in. So the dillema seems to be; do I REALLY want to get together with all those folks who graduated, for legitimate reasons....or as I suspect, might there be a bit of a hidden agenda going on here that I haven't quite figured out. When I was sumarily thrown out I was a folksinger who wanted to see the world. 35 years later, I've seen a lot of it...and I'm still a folksinger...with no changes on the horizon. I'd love to know what other Cats' experiences with reunions have been. Thanks Rick |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Wesley S Date: 16 May 00 - 12:42 PM I've enjoyed mine. The main thing is that you will regret not going if you stay home. Never miss an opportunity. It won't come again. Even if it's a disaster think of all the one liners you'll get out of it. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: catspaw49 Date: 16 May 00 - 12:48 PM Go....You'll love it. A lot of the crap has been "forgotten" because we are all so much older and have seen a lot more than we did then. I ahd never gone to a reunion until the 30 year thing came up. I duuno' why.....I decided to go. Almost all of the people there I had not seen in 30 years. It was amazing to see where lives had gone and the changes in some of them. Not to mention the looks. I spent a lot of time looking at this group and asking myself, "Who the hell are these people?" I remembered the athletic, handsome, young jock....not the bald, fat guy. Or the little, plain, mousie girl....not the great looking 50 year old woman I was sitting next to (I KNOW my grandmother didn't look like THAT!) Ain't no describing it......but I'll go back again. A few of them I've stayed in touch with since and its been kinda' nice. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Peter T. Date: 16 May 00 - 01:01 PM I've been to one and it was a seriously mixed blessing (as I think all of these are). One bad part is that everyone is secretly judging you and hoping that you are worse off than they are (and you find yourself doing the same, though you have sworn you wouldn't); another is that one definitely has to fall back on one's personality unless you have aged real well -- so you better have a charming personality to start with. Another bad part is that everyone on the surface hasn't changed that much -- the things you first recognize about them are the same things you recognized before, so that you automatically get depressed about human karma. Of course some of them have changed a lot: it is just that it is deeper and a softening of what they were like before -- but it takes a while to find that out. Meanwhile, you start drinking. The good part is that if you are a millionare or famous, you can impress all these jerks who never went anywhere (joke, joke). A seriously good part is that just at the bad part moment when you are checking out whether people have succeeded or not, you give it up because they all seem reasonably happy (the ones who showed up!), with children and problems and jobs and whatever, and you remember that all this success crap is crap. Who cares: they are people leading their lives like you, and it has its ups and downs. Another true good part is that you connect with some people again that you should never have unconnected with. I finally found out what had happened to a couple of nice people, and have kept up with them again. But I would personally never go near one again. I hated it all too much the first time around, and (oh yes, another bad part), the people who tend to come to reunions are the people who loved high school the first time around: the keeners and the joiners and the Nazis. The people I hated the first time around. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 May 00 - 01:11 PM Sir Thomas Beecham said you should try everything once in this life, except Morris Dancing and incest. I'm not with him on the Morris Dancing. But I think I'd be tempted to add school reunions.
But that's probably because I'm a coward. I just don't think I'd have anything in common with the people I was at school with. I can imagine all these aging strangers trying to put a positive spin on lives that never turned out the way they thought they would. "Successes" and "failures" moving cautiously round each other like feral dogs.
But spaw's probably right. What's to lose? A few embarrassing encounters, which could be the raw material of good stories anyway. Set against that tere is the chance you might meet some people again you will really be glad to meet again. Like a good funeral, if you are lucky. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Allan C. Date: 16 May 00 - 01:27 PM I have been to all of my highschool reunions. The ten-year was a bit like an extension of the Senior Prom. Most of the same people sat or stood in the very same groups they always used to clique with long before.
But the twenty-year reunion was quite different. I think that nearly everyone felt differently about it. We had all been out in the world and had fought (and perhaps even lost) a few battles. It seemed as if most of us were working on our second marriages. We were now of the same world. (Of course, we always had been of the same world before but didn't recognize it then.) We could look at one another and see ourselves as just people; people who had shared a common experience long ago.
At my thirtieth reunion it was a even more relaxed. I think we were each grateful to get a glimpse of our old classmates again. I had long conversations with classmates with whom I doubt I had ever spoken at length before. I even took the opportunity to confess a crush I had once had for one of them. After all those years I finally got to dance with her! It was great.
It was while I was contemplating going to the thirtieth that I wrote this song which I had the opportunity to sing for my classmates that night:
Do You Remember Me?
Do you remember me?
Do you remember me?
--Funny how the times we had
Do you remember me?
Do you remember me?
--Funny how the times we had
Oh, take another look at me! |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: catspaw49 Date: 16 May 00 - 01:43 PM Neat song Allan!!! Yeah, there are lots of minuses like Peter said, but somehow the age thing made a big difference. Additionally, I was pretty happy with my life and most of the others were too. Thirty years made a difference. and I was impressed that a lot of the people who did come were not the ones I expected at all. sure, some of the "in-crowd" was there, but the majority were just kids now grown older. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: DougR Date: 16 May 00 - 01:51 PM Rick, I went to my 50th class reunion in 1997, and had a great time. Our school classes were very small (35-40 students) so everyone knew everbody else. Next week I'm going back to another reunion. The High School graduating class of 1945 has invited the classes of '43, '44, '46 and '47 to a reunion and my brother, who was in the class of '43, and I are going together. I didn't feel that the folks were being judgemental, or anything like that at all. In most cases we just rekindled old friendships and in some instances, I have corresponed either by snailmail or email for the past three years with friends I had completely lost touch with. DougR |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: GUEST,Mrr Date: 16 May 00 - 01:57 PM I went to a French Lycée, not an American high school, and I wish I wish I wish the French did the reunion thing, I'd love to find out what's been up with my old friends... and Allan C, definitely a great song! |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Rick Fielding Date: 16 May 00 - 02:11 PM McGrath..DANCE? DANCE! Oh shit! Now I remember WHY I didn't fit in at the beginning! Rick (weighing these quite seriously) P.S. still can't (and won't) dance |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 May 00 - 02:25 PM Somehow I can't see Morris Dancing coming up at a school reunion in Canada. (And the rule is only try everything once. I tried Morris Dancing once - no, twice. That's enough for me, as a participant.) |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Mike Regenstreif Date: 16 May 00 - 02:26 PM Rick, If for nothing else, its an excuse to get together for dinner while you're in town. Of course, if you're here on a Thursday morning, you're more than welcome on the radio. Mike Regenstreif |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Allan C. Date: 16 May 00 - 02:33 PM I feel nearly the same way, Rick. But I used to need an excuse to hold a woman close. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 16 May 00 - 02:44 PM I've never been back to my old school and lost touch with all my old classmates. We did have a couple of college reunions after 20 years and it made me realise why I'd kept in touch with some people and not with others. There were not many I missed not keeping up with! Watching people arrive I kept thinking "who's that fat balding geezer" (and that was only the women!) and realised they were probably looking at me and thinking the same! RtS |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 16 May 00 - 03:38 PM My high school tried to have a 25th reunion for those students that left in 1969. Unfortunately they could'nt get enough out on parole to attend... Yours,(did'nt like it anyway whats the point?) Aye. Dave |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Mbo Date: 16 May 00 - 03:54 PM Only three people in my high school--myself and my two sisters! We have a reunion every Friday when we come home from school! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: GUEST,emily b Date: 16 May 00 - 05:15 PM I loved going to my 20th high school reunion. I moved far away from my hometown and rarely saw anyone from there after I went to college. I would have enjoyed seeing anyone after 20 years. Just to bring me a little closer to home again, if nothing else. But I had a great time. Not many of my close friends from school were there but that actually left me free (forced) me to talk with those whom I might never have otherwise. The thing that struck me was how great all the high school nerds looked and how old the jocks looked. I agree with Wesley S. Never miss an opportunity. But then again, I never miss a chance to Morris dance either. Go and enjoy and don't stress out about where you've been or who you are or where you are going. Most people will be glad to see a familiar face, hear a familiar name or meet you again. Emily PS - I've never understood you musicians that don't/won't dance. You just don't know what you are missing. Dancing for me might even be more fun than singing. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: bbelle Date: 16 May 00 - 05:41 PM Rick ... I've been to my 10, 20, and 30 year class reunions and had a truly wonderful time at each event. At the 10 year reunion, the men looked the best; at the 20 year reunion, the women looked the best; at the 30 year reunion, we all looked great. At the 35 year reunion, we've decided to dispense with all the hoopdidoo and cocktail dressings and just have a big beach party and a grand time. It's work it, my friend ... moonchild |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Jeri Date: 16 May 00 - 06:32 PM Rick, you have to go because otherwise, you'll be wondering what the hell you missed. Bring your guitar. I've only been to a 10th year reunion - if they had others, I never heard. Secretly checking out others? SECRETLY?!?! I went hoping that all the pretty girls had gone downhill since then, and was disappointed. Funny though, I had very nice conversations with people I thought were stuck up all through high school. Maybe they changed, or maybe they never were that way to begin with. I remembered a conversation I'd had during a class project with a girl who was a cheerleader. She said people thought if she was a cheerleader, she must be a snob, and ignored her. Until then, I'd never seen that the people I thought were snooty were snubbed by people (like me) who thought we were so down to earth. The reunion was a learning experience like that - you can get to know people when the hormones and insecurities aren't in control. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: George Seto - af221@chebucto.ns.ca Date: 16 May 00 - 06:36 PM Rick. I'd say, go! It was great. Of course it was my high school's 150th, so this was a special all years event. I've not been contacted since then about other reunions, but! I'd probably go. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Helen Date: 16 May 00 - 07:06 PM Hi all I've been to high school reunions (Girls' High, so an all women reunion, left in 1972) and the picnic for families as well, and then last year we had the primary school reunion - boys and girls. The first (10 year) High school one I was ambivalent about beforehand but enjoyed it, but I spent most of the time at the picnic talking to my sister - strange but she was the one I enjoyed talking to most, even though we live 20 miles apart we don't really see each other very often. What I did notice most was the increase in confidence - what Jeri said, "when the hormones and insecurities aren't in control". I was also amazed that there were people there with kids almost 10 years old - hell, they didn't waste any time! The second High School one was a few years later. It was upstairs in a restaurant. I was getting jumpier by the minute the closer it came to going there and when I heard this huge roar of talking coming from up the stairs I nearly backed out and snuck home. I forced myself to go up the stairs and it was just like a family reunion. We all *knew* each other, didn't have to make small talk, we picked up on conversations from a few years ago, caught up on what had happened in the meantime. I wasn't the only one who nearly backed out, and everyone had a really great time. I enjoyed talking to the people I had liked at school but also talking to people I had not really spent much time with. The primary school reunion was the best, though. We were younger when we got to know each other, a little less of the hormones - although they were kicking in with some of us - and even though my sister & I (in the same class) had always been painfully shy at school we made some good friends there. I particularly liked meeting up again with the guy who never talked to any of us, didn't seem to be doing well in class, was taller than the rest of us, overweight. He is a great looking guy with a beautiful wife, both lovely people, gentle, sincere, interesting, clever. Try it, you'll probably like it. It's hard to describe the feeling. Sure there will be some people trying to play one-up-person-ship, but the majority have more similarities than differences, I found. Life experiences - value the similarities, value the differences. Life paths meeting and diverging, choices/decisions in life, parallel universes. Choose your own adventure. Helen |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Banjer Date: 16 May 00 - 07:19 PM I've never been to any of my High School reunions. I never made that many friends in high school since I attended a school out of my own district and just as soon as that last bell died down I was already in my car heading for the gate...And besides that, why would I want to go sit around with a bunch of old people...ever notice how all but yourself has really aged? |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Irish sergeant Date: 16 May 00 - 08:48 PM Go. To be honest I went to my 20th and my 25th high school reunions. AFter the 20th I swore I wouldn't do that gig again. Too many bad memeories and who wanted to play keep up with the Jones' anyway/ My best friend talked me into going to my 25th reunion last year and I'm glad I did! I had a great time and as Spaw so eloquently states, even if it sucks there'll be plenty of ammo for the one-liners! It has garnered a couple of historical lecture gigs for the Boy scouts and I'm not p.o.'d about those years anymore. Go, Have a great time and if they all turn out to be orifices more suited for supposotories that candy canes, you can always write rude songs about them, Reguards, Neil |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Rick Fielding Date: 16 May 00 - 09:21 PM A friend of mine who has the same kind of sense of humour as me (but far more guts) went to his renunion at Don Mills High (15th I think) and told everyone he was a famous athlete (Mike Palmateer actually....who's only famous if you followed Maple Leaf hockey a few years ago) They (almost) all bought it. It sounded to me like he had some issues other than a joke going on there. I guess in some ways so do I. One of the people who will be at the Mac High reunion is a guy who made life difficult for me, and I'm not sure what I'd want to say to him. On the other hand, if I'd had the nerve to drop the shyness and punch his lights out when I was 14, I absolutely KNOW my life would have gone a whole different direction. With more confidence, I would have been part of the rock'n roll culture, learned to dance, ask girls out, get better marks, go to college and probably not discover the "world" of folk music that I love so much. Oh, from a somewhat humorous "Net" take on High School reunions: If you see the odd 50 year old guy NOT driving a Mercedes with a beautiful 25 year old on his arm...she ain't the "little woman", she's a hooker! Rick (still thinking) |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: TheMuse Date: 16 May 00 - 10:19 PM Rick, I've been to two class reunions. My 20th which was very unmemorable, simply because since I can't remember much about it, it must have been. (Or that could be CRS.) And my 30th, which was last summer. It was a much smaller gathering but proved to be much better. Not sure why, but may have something to do with the age factor like Allan C. and Spaw mentioned. Everyone more mellow. But I have to say a line from Peter T's post sums it up exactly for me: "Another true good part is that you connect with some people again that you should never have unconnected with." That sentiment is exactly why you should make the effort to go, you never know what might happen and you don't want to miss it. TheMuse |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Rick Fielding Date: 16 May 00 - 10:28 PM Oh oh, Muse. It just occurred to me that a few of us guys will be DEAD! Maybe I'd better do it rather than wait for the 40th! Rick |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Mark Roffe Date: 16 May 00 - 11:45 PM I skipped 'em all until the 30th. Had the time of my life. Loved all those people like brothers and sisters. Billy Crystal attended and we all treated him like the normal kid he'd always been. 'Though I hadn't seen these folks for thirty years, it was like we'd never left, except that we were suddenly closer than ever. I attended school with most of the same people from kindergarden through high school graduation, so I probably spent more time with them over the years than I did with my own family. Anyway, I was hoping we'd have another this year (it would be the 35th), but it turns out we're waiting for the 40th. I won't miss it. I will never miss another one, as long as I have the strength to make it to Long Beach NY from California. My advice is to GO!!! Mark Roffe |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: ddw Date: 17 May 00 - 01:13 AM Rick, Like you, I was an outsider thru most of high school. I had a few guys I spent some time with, but for the most part I was doing other things. Went to a reunion — 30th or 35th, I can't remember — a few years ago with some trepidation. I didn't have much to say to those people back then and was afraid I still wouldn't. That part proved true, but it WAS interesting to see what people looked like and find out a little about who had done what in the intervening years. That said, I'll just add that I've watched you watch people and seen how much of a kick you get out of it. Go! By all means! You'll surely be able to find one or two people who — even if they weren't then — are interesting to talk to now and at least as many who seemed to have horseshoes up their asses then but are now just burned-out wrecks you'll be glad you're not. Besides, just a trip to check out Montreal's music scene couldn't be all bad.... cheers, david |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: GUEST,rhj Date: 17 May 00 - 09:21 AM Go Rick, then we can share our expeiences. I'm going to an apprentices reunion in June. The flights are booked, I'm taking the plunge. I havn't seen most of these guys for 34 years. From what I can gather there are only two of us that have died. We were a good looking bunch in '66, but if they all have changed as much as I have, it won't be true now. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Mooh Date: 17 May 00 - 09:37 AM I was driven, not very willingly, to work at the school from which I graduated, four or five years after I'd left. There was little or no sign of my former school chums in that community, everyone (like me) couldn't wait to leave, and few have returned, even now. I didn't stay long, having found other employment, and I've heard nary a word about reunions, and I don't think I'd be hard to find. That said, I've never really thought about the idea until this thread and since my life is so much in the here and now I'm not sure I'd be interested in a reunion...unless it was a paying gig of course. Just kidding. I bumped into an old school friend once, at a folk festival, who told me he hadn't seen or heard from anyone from his school years. He too moved away for good, became an artist, married and became a native of some other place. My feelings, though not fully evolved on this topic, are that since that school held little interest for me at the time, it has also not maintained a place in my heart. It had NO arts program, no music, art, theatre, only one English etc. I got my diploma and left with less loyalty than I have for the McDonalds drive-through. I regularly thank God for the good fortune of a musical family. As for the people, maybe they don't care unless they identified more with the football crowd, but I wouldn't really know about that. I would like to see alot of those classmates again and I wonder how some have made out in life, in spite of weak school programs. I hope it only made them stronger. Rick, make up your own mind, my experience might only screw you up. But go if there's good song material to be had. Ambivalently, Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 May 00 - 11:46 AM Just go. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Art Thieme Date: 17 May 00 - 02:03 PM I really did (for some reason) want to get to the last one that was held. It was the 40th reunion. My excuse was that neither I nor Carol can drive now. Except for one of the past reunions, I was always booked at one gig or another---except for one. I got there for a portion of it and had to split early to get to a late gig. That one was fun---I think---I really don't remember anything specific about it... Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Peter T. Date: 17 May 00 - 03:21 PM It occurs to me that you are well insulated, Rick -- whatever they have done, whatever blondes they have on their arm, and Mercedes in the driveway, you can say you have spent 30 years playing folk music for a living. No one can top that! There will be deep envy all round. And you can sell bunches of CDs. so, as CP says, go. You can always lie about your major league baseball career. No one in Montreal knows anything about baseball (which is why the team is in big trouble). yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 17 May 00 - 03:37 PM "It just occurred to me that a few of us guys will be DEAD!"
Sounds like a great party - you can't miss it. The Ricky Horror Show! |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: GUEST,Bill H Date: 17 May 00 - 06:58 PM I gave up after attending a college re-union some 15 years ago. ALso 1 H.S. one 2 years ago. The reasons, briefly: 1) You cannot go home again (I stole that quote) 2) Everybody seems to just be scorekeeping. I lost track of the score years ago---and who cared about it anyway. 3) And, should anyone happen to be a celeb. forget any other interest for that evening. So much for nostalgia. Let us now sing our alma mater Bill H |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Ebbie Date: 17 May 00 - 08:16 PM Like the man said, I went to a reunion and they all had changed so much no one knew me. :) |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: MarkS Date: 17 May 00 - 11:30 PM Rick You should do it. After all these years of folksinging, you will probably be judged the most interesting person at the reunion. The thing I remember most from my last HS reunion (30) was just how "establishment" everybody seemed to become. You will likely bring a measure of independence to the group, and do not be surprised if others are envious of you. MarkS |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Rick Fielding Date: 18 May 00 - 12:52 AM Thanks Mark. One of the things I discovered during my teens was that "interesting" didn't translate into dates. I'm coming to the conclusion that I look forward to Mudcat reunions more than this High school thing. At least there, we can pick a few tunes if the conversation lags. Rick |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 18 May 00 - 01:04 AM Rick, I would enjoy meeting you if i were your old school pal.. but then if you were my friend I would have kept in touch with you... If they havent bothered keeping in touch, what would you miss by not going? Same as me mate, Nothing! I would love to meet some Catters, rich or poor, young or old. My old school mates are just memories, and not all pleasant ones either.. Yours, Aye. Dave |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Racer Date: 18 May 00 - 01:19 AM Hell, if anything, they'll admire your resolve. I've never met anyone who has been able to make a career out of folk music. Considering all of the gigs that you've done, you'll probably be the best talker there. I was unpopular during school, and haven't done a thing with my life. I'm still looking forward to my ten year reunion (which is in about a year). I just want to see what's happened to everyone. -Racer |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Homeless Date: 18 May 00 - 07:37 PM Rick - I can agree strongly with just about everything that everyone has said so far - even the mutually exclusive things. I went to a big school, 660 in our graduating class, but I could count my friends on one hand. I've been to one reunion, and missed one. I'm glad I went, don't care if I never get to another one. Wasn't surprised by the people who were exactly the same. For the most part, wasn't surprised by the poeple who had changed (there were a couple shockers - people who's personalities had radically shifted). A few people keeping score, many more just renewing and making friendships. Every aged to some degree. But the biggest thing for me was how enlightened I was about myself. NOBODY recognized me. Not one person. And my looks haven't changed that much (honest, people there told me so). Not the people I shared classes with for 10 years, not the girl who cheated off my Spanish papers for 3 years. Until they heard my name. Then the synapses would fire and they'd recall "the kid who turned his eyelids inside out" or "the quiet kid who played bass in the back of the room." Some of what I was remembered for and told gave me a lot of food for thought. And I believe that a person should pull out his soul every few years and look it over to see if he likes what he finds. BTW - for the scorekeepers, you said "...I was a folksinger who wanted to see the world. 35 years later, I've seen a lot of it...and I'm still a folksinger..." it sounds like you had a dream, and lived it. That puts you one up on a LOT of people in the world. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 May 00 - 08:04 PM I just had another read through the thread, and this leapt out from Rick: "If I'd had the nerve to drop the shyness and punch his lights out when I was 14, I absolutely KNOW my life would have gone a whole different direction."
Altogether it's a Back to the future scenario, isn't it? That's what makes that kind of thing scary, I suppose. Reminds you how chancy life is. And what you want is to find yourself saying "How close I came to blowing it all..." rather than "If only I had..." |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Charlie Baum Date: 18 May 00 - 11:29 PM Go. Bring your guitar. Encourage other old classmates who perform to also do so, and set up a talent show in the evening. That way, you'll all be working together to do something in the present, with an eye toward future possibilities, rather than merely getting stuck in past reminiscences. If you can get beyond the past, these people with whom you once shared your life could become a part of your future, if you'll let them. I used to go to my high school reunions yearly (it was a small school), and struck up ongoing friendships and relationships with schoolmates, some of whom were a generation apart from me. But beyond sharing a past in the school, we shared our opinions and experiences with choruses, politics, religious observances, how the school ought to be run, hiking in the woods. And then we acted on them: we met at other times in the year to go to a concert together, or to hike in the woods, or to constructively criticize the school administration. Turn your reunion into a building-block for ongoing relationships. But if you're just going to sit around and get drunk and wallow in the past, you might find it gets old fast. --Charlie Baum |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: TheMuse Date: 20 May 00 - 06:36 PM What a coincidence! I'm reading a magazine and there's an article about high school reunions. Here is the way the author summed up at the end. She said that the 30 year reunion is probably the best one. After 10 years, memories are still too raw. After 20, you're coming up on midlife and feel competitive. But after 30 years, you can finally enjoy both the look back and the one ahead. I thought that was just right so wanted to post it here. TheMuse |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Alice Date: 20 May 00 - 07:02 PM I've never gone to mine and I don't regret staying home. My reunions are planned by the same group that was the drinking and partying crowd in high school. Each of the mailings I've received refer to the drinking, so I don't expect to fit in there now any more than I fit in the first time around when we were teenagers. Take your guitar, Rick. The people will probably enjoy getting to know you and your music this time around if they didn't get to know you when you were younger. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: wysiwyg Date: 20 May 00 - 08:30 PM RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? Depends. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Rick Fielding Date: 20 May 00 - 11:20 PM Wow. So much good information. Thanks all. If you're interested in my conclusions, here they are. I think Alice hit the nail on the head for me. The folks who are planning this are the same ones who planned everything when we were 16. I didn't understand them then, and I doubt they'd understand me now. No reason they should, 'cause goodness knows I've rejected so many things that are essential in their lives. I get the feeling that curiosity (and probably the morbid kind) would be my only motivation in going, and that's just too negative and too pointless. From their website I gather that even Gordon C who turned me on to Pete Seeger, "outgrew" his banjo and folky ways by the time he became an "adult". The only thing I outgrew was the desire to "fit in". Think I'll give it a miss. Thanks again Rick |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: GUEST,Larry B. Date: 21 May 00 - 01:44 AM I went to my 20th, but only because it was convenient to be in town at the time. My graduating class was nearly a thousand, I wasn't a very social type in high school, left town (and the state, and for the most part, the country) a couple of years after graduating, and most of my friends in H.S. were a year or two ahead of or behind me, anyway. The few I actually wanted to see again didn't show up. Then again, a chance meeting that could not have happened anywhere else could have made it all worthwhile... Go with your gut.
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Mooh Date: 21 May 00 - 09:17 AM Right on Rick! My own reunion is timed to conflict with the first decent bass fishing I'll get this season, and I dream of fishing all the time, never dreaming about reunions. Easy decision. Why don't you treat yourself to something to correspond with the reunion? Like a trip to a luthier...Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: Advice: High School Reunions. Worth it? From: Kelida Date: 21 May 00 - 09:53 AM Wow. I'm still in high school, but I always wonder where everyone's going to be 10 or 20 or 30 years from now. I'm in the class of 2001, and I'm scared to death of graduation. (yes, I know this is thread creep, but I swear I have a point) I worry about my generation all the time. I know a lot of smart kids and a few brilliant people, but I know a lot more people who are lazy, or neglected, or so fried that they are just about incompetent. I wonder, what will the future bring? I know there are a lot of people who are very down on my generation as a whole, and I wonder sometimes if they aren't right. If my generation isn't throwing it all away. I don't have a lot of real friends from school. Not a lot of people that I want to see again, but I wonder if I'll feel the same in 11 years when my 10-year reunion comes up. I noticed that many of you didn't go to your reunions for one reason or another, and I saw that a lot of you had not-so-great high school experiences (which I can definitely relate to). Honestly, though, I think that I will go to my reunions. I want to know things like "whatever happened to that guy who ditched me for a cheerleader?" or "where is that computer nerd now?" It's probably just a competitive vengeance thing, but I hope that 10 or 20 years from now I can look at the people who try to make my life miserable and say "I'm happy. I'm living my dream. What are you doing, now?" My advice? Go. You never know. Maybe people do change, and if not, then I'm sure you're better off than they are. I mean, hey--You're happy. You're living your dream. What are they doing now? Peace--Keli |
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