Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2]


Come you pranksters, fess up!

Cluin 01 Dec 04 - 07:22 AM
The Fooles Troupe 01 Dec 04 - 08:32 AM
GUEST 01 Dec 04 - 09:56 AM
Bill D 01 Dec 04 - 10:57 AM
Uncle_DaveO 01 Dec 04 - 11:26 AM
Uncle_DaveO 01 Dec 04 - 12:12 PM
Ima Gittin' 01 Dec 04 - 01:03 PM
GUEST,Clint Keller 01 Dec 04 - 01:08 PM
Ima Gittin' 01 Dec 04 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 04 - 01:29 PM
Ima Gittin' 01 Dec 04 - 01:51 PM
CarolC 01 Dec 04 - 01:55 PM
darkriver 01 Dec 04 - 02:47 PM
CarolC 01 Dec 04 - 03:42 PM
Once Famous 01 Dec 04 - 03:43 PM
mack/misophist 01 Dec 04 - 03:51 PM
HuwG 01 Dec 04 - 04:29 PM
Jeri 01 Dec 04 - 04:42 PM
Bill D 01 Dec 04 - 05:26 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 04 - 06:14 PM
mack/misophist 01 Dec 04 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 04 - 11:14 PM
Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum Child
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:













Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 07:22 AM

I stole jamie's dictionary years ago.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 08:32 AM

Another Mickey Mouse Clock.

Queensland University (A Real University, as distinct from Queensland University of Technology - A University for The Real World! - but that's another story!) has a beautiful campus originally intended to resemble all old 'traditional' Universities, has a large oval limestone cloisters and a tower with a clock that is about 30 ft or more in the air up a vertical face, and about 15 feet from the roof, etc..

One day, the Vice Chancellor happened to be crossing the quadrangle in the morning looked up and there was Mickey Mouse in all his glory, poster on wall behind hands and neat little white gloves and all....

Stayed there for three days, until the grounds staff finally decided that they really needed a cherry picker....

~~~~~~

There is a hill near Toowoomba called Table Mountain, and one a nice religious lady claimed to have seen a vision, and so a small white wooden cross was erected on the top of the Mountain - without obtaining Council Permission to erect anything on Public Land - which became a pilgrimage point.

Cross got pulled down, thrown over side.

Larger cross erected, same thing.

Still larger, same thing.

So the forces of Good rallied and erected a huge Steel Monstrosity set in concrete...... determined people can backpack an oxy cutting set up a steep narrow winding mountain, you know.... :-)

There is no cross there today...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 09:56 AM

I was the victim of a prank once. I've always been well known for my weak stomach. I gag easily at nasty, gross things. When I was in the Navy as a watch supervisor, my operators pulled a practical joke on me. In those days, supervisors kept the watch log on an IBM Selectric typewriter. I worked in a classified area at the time, which was "sanitized" by drawing curtains over equipment and areas that had to be hidden from the view of uncleared personnel. The typewriter was behind the curtains. One day, while the spaces were sanitized, I stepped out for a smoke. When I came back in and sat down to make some log entries, I felt somthing squishy and sticky between my fingers and some of the keys. I looked at my fingers and saw what looked like several big boogers. Instantly grossed out to the extent of being nauseated, I was, shall we say, rather vocal in my disgust. There I was, gagging and cursing behind that curtain, shaking my hands vigorously to get the boogers off. "EEEEWWWW, boogers!!! OK, who's the sonofab---- that put the f---in' snot on my typewriter!?" I actually lost my lunch, if you catch my drift. I knew I'd been had when I heard the hysterical laughter from my operators who were all there waiting on the other side of the curtains for my reaction. They had taken some cellophane tape and rubbed off the gummy adhesive into very realistic looking balls and stuck them all over my keyboard. Better stop while I'm ahead. The thought of boogers is making me queasy.

Cheers

S


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 10:57 AM

well! I have had a ball re-reading this old thread!...and don't miss a later thread on the same theme.

(and Cluin....I gather you replaced jamie's dictionary with the Reader's Digest condensed version!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 11:26 AM

Bill D:

Your story about the midget and the shortening cane, followed by his suicide, was a short story which I read somewhere.

Dave Oesterreich


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 12:12 PM

A comedy in three acts. Stay with me.

My sophomore year in high school.   A teacher who was rather, shall we say, "vague".

First day of the year, she passed around a sheet of paper, and asked that each of us write our name on it. She would use it for the rest of the semester for the class roll call. She neglected to count the names that came back, which included one Ralph Warden, who was not physically present--indeed, did not exist.

Next morning she called roll: Suzie Jones? Here. William Smiley? Here. Ralph Warden? (silence) Ralph Warden? "Oh, he's sick today, teacher!" Next day and the next day, Ralph was "sick". Then he was visiting his relatives in the southern part of the state. It was about a week and a half before the teacher checked with the office, learned of Ralph's nonexistence as a student. She stopped calling his name, but never said a word to the class. All of this was an in-group joke for as long as the conspirators were in that school.
Only an elite group knew and enjoyed this joke.

Now fast forward fifty years.

At our fiftieth anniversary reunion, a few years ago, included in the list of those who would be there that was sent out was our old friend Ralph Warden. That was good for a lot of good private snickers. But better was the fact that at the banquet, a speech was scheduled by that well-known, business-success classmate, Ralph Warden! The MC (one of the elite few) sadly announced, "I'm truly sorry that I received a telegram from Ralph Warden, whom all of you remember, that he'll not be able to make it to speak to us tonight. I'm sure you're all as disappointed as I am!" And indeed, several of the subsequent class-member speakers (who weren't in on it) expressed their disappointment, how they'd been looking forward to seeing ole Ralph again, how they remembered his amazing personality and drive and so forth.   Only at the end of the dinner, last gasp, did the MC explain how everybody had been had, and told the original incident.

Next morning those who had not already left town met for Sunday brunch. One of our classmates stood up and said that her son, who was waiting in the lobby for her to come out of the dining room, to drive her to his house, told her he had been approached by a man who asked, did he know where the Class of '48 was meeting? "Yes," he'd said, "the dinner is up in the second floor dining room, and I think it's just about to break up." "Darn," says the man, I had hoped to be there, but was delayed. Well, it's too late now, and I can't stay for tomorrow's brunch, either." The son said, "Can you give me your name? I'll let my mother know that you were here, so she can at least pass your regrets to those at the brunch tomorrow morning."   "Okay," says the man, "tell her Ralph Warden said hello."

Dave Oesterreich


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 01:03 PM

You'd be suprised at the vast sudsing action of 18 LARGE boxes of Oxydol Laundy Detergent(showing my age here) poured into the filter ports along side of the olympic sized school pool......I know we were! ;D


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: GUEST,Clint Keller
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 01:08 PM

That's interesting, Uncle D, because in my high school the ficticious student was Irwin Sweeney. He showed up in a lot of places.

I graduated in 1948 too. Conspiracy?

clint


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 01:11 PM

Oh....and a tip...The prank played in the movie 'Private Benjamin' REALLY works! We did it LONG before that movie came out. We poured tempra powder in a variety of colors into the shower heads in the boys locker room......

Oy! Almost forgot about the Bengay Mentholated Pain Rub in the jock straps...........but that's a whole 'nuther story.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 01:29 PM

We carefully put chemical indicators (colorless in themselves) in the urinals of our all-male high school.

Ever see a freshman come running out yelling, "I'm peeing blue!"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Ima Gittin'
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 01:51 PM

Hey Rapaire. :) .....ya know?..I woulda paid money to see that one!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 01:55 PM

I went to an experimental sort of high school. We had a rich and lively hall culture, and we had commandeered one of the science offices (as well as one of the English offices and a social studies office), for hanging out and putting our stuff in.

For some reason, most people kept their musical instruments in the science office. There were usually one or two French horns laying about in the office, along with some bunsen burner hose and a desk that was only a shell and was completely hollow underneath.

One time, when I had a bit of a wild hair up my arse (which really was most of the time), I took one of the French horns out and laid it on top of its open case. I took the mouthpiece off of the horn, attached a length of bunsen burner hose to the French horn, attached the mouthpiece to the other end of the hose, and arranged it all on top of the hollow desk in such a way that the hose could not be seen by people entering the room. It just looked like a French horn placed somewhat carelessly on top of an open French horn case.

Then I sat under the desk, holding the hose with the mouthpiece at the end of it, while another student sat at the desk about two feet away from the French horn. The plan was for him to give me a little kick when someone came into the room, and I would blow on the mouthpiece... no small feat, since it required a lot of air pressure to make a noise with that much bunsen burner hose between me and the horn. We succeeded in startling a few people with the joke, but the best was the guy who was stoned out of his gourd (I don't remember if it was LSD or hashish, but he was wrecked). He walked in, heard the horn blowing all by itself, said "Ohh... My... GOD!!!", turned around, and ran out of the room. I still remember that stoner quite fondly.

When I was in junior high school, I used to like to put spitballs and pour salt down the pants of the guys sitting in front of me as they leaned forward in their seats (creating a bit of a gap between the top of their pants and their backs). That was a lot of fun.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: darkriver
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 02:47 PM

Bill D, your July 99 posting about the midget--

it's a short short story. I forget the name, but it's in the form of one person's court testimony, and it tells the story you mentioned.
A chilling tale of ingratitude.

I've enjoyed reading these. What a great bunch of folks.
I was always "a good boy" although, now that I look back on it, it was from fear, since I was also inwardly quite rebellious.

Regards.

doug


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 03:42 PM

Oh, how ironic. I just read Bill D's circus midget story. The name of the stoner who was traumatized in my story was Richard Midgett.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Once Famous
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 03:43 PM

Which one should I relate?

OK

The prank of the burning dogshit.

On Halloween night, we would fill a paper bag full of dog shit from someone's yard and put it on someone's door step. We would lite the bag on fire, ring the doorbell, and run away. Most who answered the door would stomp on the bag to put out the fire.........


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: mack/misophist
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 03:51 PM

The college I went to had small pillows on the dorm beds. If you were very, very careful - and knew the technique - you could put a condom full of water in the pillow case and put it back on the bed. Then there's the fact that it takes about 10 minutes for a condom placed over a light bulb to melt and stink.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: HuwG
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 04:29 PM

I heard about but didn't see this variant on the "car on top of the outbuilding" stunts.

Sheil Barracks in Verden in West Germany (as it then was) was home in 1980 to the British 1st Armoured Division HQ and Signal Regiment. There was some mutual aggravation between the (British) Commandant of the town and barracks, and the officers of the units who lived there.

The Commandant issued an order that officers' vehicles (whether private or official) were not to use the main parking area, as this was required as a helicopter landing pad. This caused much inconvenience. However, he made a point of leaving his official vehicle, a black Ford Escort estate there, to show that he was not bound by his own orders.

The officers of the Signals Regiment clubbed together, and went to local scrapyards where they purchased various wings and panels and windows off wrecked Escorts. (A right-hand drive version of the Escort was manufactured in Germany, so there were plenty of these in the knackers' yards.)

When they had accumulated enough body parts to make a complete Escort shell, they painted them black and went out at night and pushed the Commandant's Escort out of sight. They then assembled their dummy Escort around a straw bale, securing the various parts with twists of baling wire. Add plenty of petrol, light the blue touch paper and retire. Then telephone the Commandant, and say "Sir, you'd better get down to the parade ground. There's something you ought to see."

The Commandant arrived bleary-eyed on the parade ground to see what appeared to be his official vehicle ablaze, while Royal Signals officers toasted bread and sausages on the pyre.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 04:42 PM

I'd forgotten about this. I was on a military installation with two guys from my unit at another installation. We were taking a class, and I'd driven there, so I gave them both rides every morning in my rather tiny Honda Civic. One morning, I came out to find the guys had gotten there early, picked it up and set it down sideways between two other cars.

This would have been a great practical joke and I would have been really pissed off, except for one minor detail: these geniuses expected a ride. I said "Oh well, we can take the bus," and they said "Crap..." and re-aligned the car.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 05:26 PM

about the midget story...I was not sure where I heard it, but it at least makes my point about the need to carefully assess pranks before the fact.

and cars....oh, yes....when I was about 17, working at a grocery store, one guy had a BIG yellow Buick convertable. He had a habit of pulling pranks on others,..like the infamous 'potato in the tailpipe in freezing weather'... so one day when he was parked way out in the corner of the lot, several others jacked up the rear of his yellow barge, put blocks under the rear axel just high enough to make the rear wheels clear the ground...maybe ¼ inch...and balanced delicately. He came out, got in, started the engine, put it in gear and....nothing...wheels humming, but no moving. He put it in reverse, raced the engine, put it back in drive and the torque shifted the weight so that it came OFF the blocks and jumped 15-20 feet before he could brake....Wouldn't you know...he whined!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 06:14 PM

Boy Scout Camp, 1962, and I'm on the staff.

Hank shot a black powder rifle, and had decided to make his own gunpowder for it from the old saltpeter, sulphur & charcoal recipe. Well, it worked right enough, but it was very, very, very dirty in burning, so Hank went back to the store bought stuff.

Still, he had a quart of the homebrewed stuff. Naturally, he took it to Boy Scout Camp where he, too, was on the staff that summer.

Now, the latrines were, well, two holers with a nice metal trough for a urinal. Concrete block in construction, they were vented around the top edge with screening to take the edge off the pervasive odor.

So Hank and couple of other guys (all of whom shall remain nameless) poured the quart of black powder into the urinal trough and ran two wires from the trough out to an old crank-type magneto. The three guys then retired to await a visitor to the latrine.

Along comes a young Tenderfoot scout, looking like a cross between a stereotypical birdwatcher and a gawky colt. His luncheon of beans and franks had obviously grabbed him in most disquieting way, and he was unbuckling the Boy Scout Belt that held up his Boy Scout Shorts as he opened the door.

Pause for 20 seconds.

Crank.

A sudden FUFF!! from inside the latrine and a cloud of grayish smoke filters from the screening just below the roof, achieving a very nice mushroom cloud effect.

The Tenderfoot stumbles out the door, his Boy Scout Shorts around his Boy Scout Knee Socks, saying repeatedly, "The latrine blew up!"

Three staff members quickly gather in about 50 feet of wire and make for the hills....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: mack/misophist
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 11:05 PM

A San Francisco cable car gripman told me this one. In the old days, management hired people to ride around and check whether the conductors were turning in all the fares they collected. There was one man who was cheating rather blatantly. He used the money to customize a Cadillac convertable with every accessory he could possibly squeeze on. Management found out about it and waited till the day the car was finished. Then they fired him. Management had more class 50 years ago.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Come you pranksters, fess up!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 11:14 PM

Anyone know what happens when you're going 50 or 60 mph in a military deuce-and-a-half (Marine 6-by) and you turn the engine off, and then flip it back on? I do -- it sounds like shotgun going off, and it REALLY disconcerts passing motorcyclists, smart-asses in convertibles, and other such folks.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
  Share Thread:
More...


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 26 June 12:46 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 2022 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.