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BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business

Liz the Squeak 29 Jun 08 - 05:15 PM
frogprince 29 Jun 08 - 10:23 PM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jun 08 - 05:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jun 08 - 06:19 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 08:41 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Jun 08 - 09:41 AM
MMario 30 Jun 08 - 09:46 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 10:13 AM
Severn 30 Jun 08 - 10:37 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jun 08 - 10:53 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM
SINSULL 30 Jun 08 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 01:17 PM
ClaireBear 30 Jun 08 - 01:26 PM
GUEST,LTS trapped by a tentiticle 01 Jul 08 - 08:48 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 08:57 AM
GUEST,LTS climbing out of a giant latex thingy 01 Jul 08 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 09:11 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 08 - 09:59 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 10:02 AM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,LTS just about to leave work 01 Jul 08 - 10:55 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 11:06 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 08 - 12:07 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 12:09 PM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 12:39 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 12:47 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 01:23 PM
Liz the Squeak 01 Jul 08 - 02:01 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 04:18 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 04:20 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 04:47 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 06:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 02 Jul 08 - 07:38 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 08 - 09:02 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 09:23 AM
Stilly River Sage 02 Jul 08 - 09:47 AM
Amos 02 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 08 - 11:46 AM
MMario 02 Jul 08 - 11:51 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 05:15 PM

"wild unfettered licks" - now that's MY kind of party.... let me just get me latex accoutrements....


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 10:23 PM

For cryin' out loud, Liz, that's guitar licks! Sheesh, these young people nowadays...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 05:37 AM

Hey, I'm broad minded - I'll lick all sorts of things.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 06:19 AM

Except the squid.... I'm not THAT broad minded.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 08:41 AM

Pardon me, good sir, but I have a Tea to attend today. In preparation thereof I would greatly appreciate a Fog Cutter with a poteen chaser.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 09:41 AM

Say, I have some leftover garlic pepper tea in my fridge if someone would like to try a really unique summer drink. It's pretty strong, 1/4 cup to a gallon of water in the sprayer (to discourage bugs from eating my peppers and eggplant and tomatoes and squash) but here at the Mudcat someone might find a good use. Maybe toss some in the next batch of marinade if we have auroch on the menu again?

Is there someone cooking here this week?

Hello?

Anyone?

I hear footsteps, but no one is answering. . . it was just a thought . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 09:46 AM

Lessee - a shot of the garlic/pepper tea, some tequila, a shot of Woody's sauce; some tequila, couple scoops of crushed ice, a little tequila....., top off with tomato juice, shake, pour; float a little pepper vodka across the top, toss in a celery stick.

The MudCatTavern Mary!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:13 AM

That guy on the motorcycle has extraordinarily good taste. I'll have a Fat Bastard too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:37 AM

A Hanson's Diet Black Cherry Soda, please. Diabetes has set in since last year. But at least the cancer's gone. Unless you have something better I could try.....

So, yes, I'm another designated driver or one to make supply runs, as needed. It's hell watching other people drink, but I gotta go where the music and friends abound.

He watches as Lady Penelope looks underneath to see if those actually ARE guy ropes on the firepit cover.

Meanwhile the long line for the Ladies Room is getting impatient while Liz dons her Latex. "She still thinks she owns the place!", somebody mutters.....

And no, Liz, you wouldn't want your tongue semi-permanently attached to a squid tenticle sucker. Jimmyt's the only doc we have here to remove it, and he's only a dentist.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM

I wonder if she's stuck in there again. Ladies, head around and use the men's loo, like usual, when this happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:53 AM

Look, I'm the one who opens this place up mostly, I can take as long as I bloodywell like in the Ladies... I'm usually bloody locked in here anyway...

There's only one finger on this latex glove, and that's a funny shape....

What the........?

That's a................

Oh my g..................























Eeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Right that's it.... I need a Blue Nose and I need it NOW!!! (That's 2 measures of vodka, 2 measures of Blue Curacao over ice in a hiball, topped with 7Up). Leave the 7Up out of the first batch.....

LTS covered with talcum powder


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM

Whoa, Liz, you got a Full Body model!! Awesome!! I didn't think the Ramses people had released those to the public yet!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:04 PM

I thought Pimm's were cookies...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:17 PM

I thought Liz was...a giant...dressed up for Hallowe'en. But the squid still seems to like her, going by the tentacle working its way up the latex...skirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:26 PM

Sorry Stilly, I was doing my vocal warmups outside by the grill and didn't hear you asking about cooking. Yes, I've got the fire going and some applewood chips soaking.

Is there something you'd like to throw on the grill? We already have some auroch going, and I'm also doing a haunch of gallimimus in Woody's. I found it (the gallimimus, not the Woody's) in the WayBack Fridge on the porch. All kinds of interesting stuff in there...

I'm also doing some salmon I've been marinating; that's what the applewood is for. It'll go on as soon as he fire's low enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS trapped by a tentiticle
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:48 AM

If that squid thinks it's going any further, it had better think again. I've got my anti-squid pants on.

Any joy on those Johnny cakes, I'm starving in here!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:57 AM

I've got some fresh yokemberry muffins, hot from the oven. will those do?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS climbing out of a giant latex thingy
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:59 AM

Don't know what a yokemberry is, but I'm up for it.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:11 AM

So, apparently, is the squid.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM

I'm sorry - that should have read "yokumberry" -- there's plenty - it seems like only the women are eating them.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:59 AM

Just for the novelty of it, I'll put some country style pork ribs (no bones) on. Seems a long time since we've eaten a land animal extant on the planet today. (But no denying, that WayBack fridge is a smart addition to the Tavern!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:02 AM

It avoids problems with PETA when you can show the animals you are consuming have been extinct for eons. Statute of limitations has expired.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM

Liz manages to get away from the amourous squid and, panting, points to the bottom of her shoes. "Non-Squid treads!", she gasps squeakily...

The squid slips back into the Jell-o pit in a fit of Jell-o-sy while the band plays "Jell-o, Young Lovers, Wherever You Are".

"Who IS the house band this year?", Severn wonders, amidst other of Severn's wonders of the world....

I see you have plenty of green Jell-o left since the Mudcat recovery room cafeteria shut down......

The squid and the Jell-o have something in common. They seem to have thrown away the mold afterwards.

.....I hope it doesn't grow back.

"Try that again and I'll cut off one of your limbs, throw it into a bowl and make a Sucker Punch!", snarls Liz, who has regained her breath.

The line at the Ladies Room moves smoothly and orderly......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:30 AM

Severn puns for seven ladies....sucker punch, indeed!! I wonder how you keep your frenetic morpheme-shuffling machine running at such a hectic pace!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS just about to leave work
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:55 AM

Mercy, please, for the love of the deities, mercy!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:06 AM

Koala Tea?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:07 PM

Imagine an emoticon banging its head on a desk. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:09 PM

I dunno, you leave the place for five minutes.....

Well, it's official, it's too hot out there. I know it's only a piffling 27 degrees celcius, but I'm simply not built for heat and sunshine... Oooh, I think a very long cuban rum and coke is the order of the day....

On the plus side, my tomatoes are coming on a treat!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:29 PM

My cousin Stavros says you've got some nice melons, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:39 PM

He looks over the pile of unusable armament he brought in and decides it isn't worth carting it over to the foundry for the metal sculptor. Besides, it's been done before.

"Screw it," he thinks kicks the whole mess into the jell-o pit.

327 kilograms of steel makes quite a splash, and he helps himself to another Moose Drool.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:47 PM

Look what just cayman!.....

"What'll we do with this little crocodile from the parking lot?", someone calls out as they come in the door. "Anyone have any recipes or a croc pot? Any leather crafters among us? WAIT! I think it's still breathing...." They drop the critter and hurridly step back...

"Give it a shot of something to revive it!", says someone.

"Just give it water for now and see if it recovers. I've got money riding on what it will ask the bartender for", says another......



....."Well", thinks Severn, "at least we won't have to deal with that tango-dancing caterpillar from last winter. By now, it's probably turned into....."

"MOTH-ER OF GOD!", he shouts as something flies in another door. "It's heading for the chandalier!".........


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 01:23 PM

Why thank you Mmario (she says as she playfully batters him round the head....)

327 kilos of steel... that's awfully precise Rapaire....

No, it's all too much like thinking... Another pint of Gibsons please Bar Keep!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 02:01 PM

Kar Beep!!! Bring me anthoner wunna them Lo Hiland dice tees... I hef to go to kwire practis an the squuuuuidd is holdling me back.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM

"It CAN'T be a moth! Moths don't get THAT big!"


"Then it's one humongeous mean moth-er-faker!"


"Why don't you know? That's...."


Oh, NO! Not......BEHE-MOTH!"


Oh, yes, That moth be he!


"Luckily, it's summer and nobody's wearing wool!"


"Last year he was a caterpillar who liked to dance. Maybe he's just looking for a Moth Ball....."


"Quick! To the Camphor-Van! Do ANY of those things still shoot, Rapaire?"


"Don't hurt him, maybe he'll see the light!"


"That's what we're afraid of!"...........


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM

I'm not nearly drunk enough for these puns.... Pass the bucket...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:18 PM

One for you to empty or one for you to fill, Lady P? There WILL be more! I promise!.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:20 PM

Either, both, it's an undecided feeling.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM

groan . . .

Who let that Moth-er-plucker in here, anyway? Where's the duct tape, maybe we can modify his hands so he can't type. . . I know--tape him to the hog!

No, not the ribs, the Harley. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:47 PM

Liz, will there be an inquiry about how you spent too much time at the inn and not enough in choiry? Are you sober enough to meet re:choirments? How far up the leg will you have to show them the sucker marks for them to believe you?

Be careful getting there and back!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 06:34 PM

Every one known the compassionate Kiwi's favorite drink is made with lumps of mashed lime, floating around like so much citrine fur in the bowl. The Koala Tea of mercy is not strained. If you make it up in the lavatory, it'll be just the sucker bowl for the sucker punch, properly laced with moonshine so it becomes high Koala Tea indeed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 07:38 AM

I can't cope with this any more.... I need a new brain!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM

There happens to be a yellow brick road leading from one of the doors on the West side. Liz is not sure where it leads, but she feels she may be able to find a new brain at the end of it.

....So Liz and the kitty Raven, who has decided that that it's finally met a moth too big to chase, go skipping down this thoroughfare singing:


Coupla bricks short of a load,
Coupla bricks short of a load,
Coupla, coupla, coupla, coupla.
Coupla bricks short of a load....


...which is what Dorothy would have sung had SHE needed the brain but was somehow still able to think of it. Liz may only be goldbricking, but if so, it still instinctively seems the proper path to follow.

I'm sure she'll be back soon, and better for the journey, with a few colorful stories and maybe some new ethnic sings from Wherever for the evening singaround.

The alternative being a lustful squid in a pit of green Jell-o, The Wizard Of Ooze just doesn't cut it. The walk should at least sober her up a bit.

"Happy Trails, Liz!' we all call out.

"....And your little cat Raven, too!" somebody cackles!

Meanwhile a betting pool has already sprung up over how long she'll be gone.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 09:02 AM

He reaches for the Flit gun, ready and willing to commit insecticide. "You shoulda kept yer moth shet, ya bugger. Now y'wool get it good. Ya shoulda stayed a like ya was, there in the church, an in sect chorus line."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 09:23 AM

The water seems to refresh the ailing reptile, who jumps up, says "See you later!" and leaves through the alley gate.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

Maybe it WASN'T a crocodile after all!


Since nothing was said to the bartender, the rest of the heavy betting crowd's interest shifts to get into the action in the pool for the return time of Liz.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 09:47 AM

Someone discreetly pushes the muzzle of Rapaire's big old fashioned gun, whatever he's packing this time, away from Severn's head where it was pointed, but Rap quietly wrestles it around and they compromise in aiming the thing at Severn's lap. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM

Did anyone say g'bye to that dastardly alley-gater? I only ask because Rapaire is driving Severns nuts...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 10:50 AM

Severn takes a sage brush and briskly whisks Stilly aside, but Rapaire poses another problem altogether! It still looks like he's carrying the Flit gun, as in his last post, but insecticide is not the way I'd choose to bugger off from this world. Uh, oh!

All of a sudden comes deus-ex-machina for Severn as Rapaire's original target, Behe-moth swoops down and grabs Rapaire and flies back up towards the brightly glowing chandelier with Rapaire firing away at his attacker in one magnificent aerial battle royal.

"Quick! Somebody grab a net, (or at least her beach blanket)!" yells Severn and the rescue crew runs around in silly Mack Sennet circles under the ongoing battle above.

"Whew! I wrote myself out of THAT one!", thinks severn, "But for how long?", as he runs around holding one corner of the blanket.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 11:46 AM

Dropping the flit gun and grabbing the chandelier, he thinks, "Boy, am I glad I've been fencing! I know all the neat-o sword fighting moves now, like swinging on a chandelier! Wish I'd worn pants instead of a kilt, though. The ladies below are excited enough as it is."

And letting go at the end of the pendulous arc, he tucks himself into a forward tuck and lands lightly on his feet on the top of the champagne glasses, breaking none of them in his glorious dismount and acknowledging the thunderous applause of the on-lookers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 11:51 AM

Listen! It's the sound of one hand clapping!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM

"One Hundred!, he shouts, then, "Bravo!"

"Have you killed it yet?", ask the panting rescue crew. "Can we let go of the blanket?".......


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