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BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: kendall Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:40 AM "US" guys, Matt? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:53 AM CarolC said: "I just don't know what to do." If you like, you may borrow my A-1, M-1, Handy-dandy, Decision-making machine. If you don't recognize it by that title, some folks refer to it as a quarter. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Peter T. Date: 28 Dec 00 - 10:03 AM I think it is time that you broke out of the traditional thought patterns, CarolC. This ferret/man dilemma is so boring, it is like, old. It is time to try a new dilemma, or even a trilemma. Why not have to be forced to choose between a heron/ballerina/steak knife? Or, one of my favourites: grave robber/30 minutes with a shopping cart in the sex store of your choice/retired road manager for Queen? And then the classic: distraught lesbian/man camped in middle of roundabout for 6 weeks/Isis. It is a new century. Time to expand your horizon of choice.... yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Cap't Bob Date: 28 Dec 00 - 10:05 AM Get a man who ~ likes to eat pickled garlic ~ poops in various corners of the house ~~ will tolerate being caged for extended periods of time ~~~ likes to dig holes in carpets (especially under doors) ~~~~ chews the rubber tubing off the bottom of instrument stands - - - - THEN YOU CAN HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH. Cap't Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:01 AM Kendall, I haven't picked a fight with you in months. We are you trying to annoy me? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:02 AM Damn. Make that "why". |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Dec 00 - 01:13 PM Matt_R: Probably because you rise to the bait so well, Matt. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 28 Dec 00 - 02:06 PM I think we should leave it up to the state of Florida to vote on it. Carol can have her new game plan for 2001 some time in mid-2002. Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Troll Date: 28 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM Get both. A ferret can be trained to use a litter box and a man can be trained to be helpful and (somewhat) sensitive to your needs. It can be done.The Memsahib did it to me. But I'm damned if I know just HOW she did it. All I know is, I just washed, dried, and put away all the dishes from a monster dinner. She went shopping. It was MY idea! troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 03:32 PM I don't think that is such a good example, Troll. Washing dishes is something a lot of male Mudcatters have confessed to. Try this one instead. When you walk out of the bathroom, what is the position of the toilet seat? This is a point on which the Mudcat women would more likely focus as an example of whether or not men can be trained. Ferrets always leave the seat up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Morticia Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:22 PM Or try these, gentlemen.....,b>If you see a toilet paper spindle empty, do you a) refill it b)panic and use the other bathroom for a few days c) a what? The love of your life has had a tough day, do you a) cook her dinner and rub her feet b) offer to take her out to dinner c)my cars had a tough day? You decide to buy your lady a present, do you choose a) flowers and chocolates b) something pretty and shiny from the jewellers? c) a new lawn mower Answers on the back of a five pound note to Morticia please, those with the correct answers will have their names forwarded to Carol.C, other submissions forwarded to Germaine Greer or the NYCFTTS as appropriate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:43 PM Very good Mort!!! I think that men can be trained as you all have noted and one of the most useful phrases (suggested by Blake Clark) they can learn is: "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry." This one works in a large variety of situations and can be used in about 90% of the situations such as.......
"You forgot to take the trash out again and the garbage truck has already gone." See? Very useful and easily learned by most men. A word of caution though, yopu DO have to have at least a minor grasp on what is being saic or else the phrase could make matters worse. Such as:
"This dress makes me look fat." This type of thing cannot be learned by a ferret, although the listening skills required cannot be learned by some men. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Melani Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:47 PM Carol, I personally favor rats--the furry kind with tails, that is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Bill D Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:10 PM deep analysis of basic issue:..hope it's not too serious for this crowd you can 'get' (as in "go shopping for") a ferret...and if you buy one, then you are sort of committed, but you know how this goes. you don't just 'get' a boyfriend...you meet people, some of whom are men, and you explore, muse, peruse and enjoy as best you can and perhaps become friends...if one of them fits 'boyfriend' status, it will become obvious...*grin*...BUT...if you are perceived as 'shopping' for a BF, you tend to attract the wrong kind..(have watched this process several times..*sigh*) so... a BF who likes both you & ferrets could provide HOURS of entertainment, but only the ferret aspect is likely to be immediately obvious...people are just too complicated,,*wry smile* (oh, yeah...the important part!..you find the RIGHT people by going places and doing what you like to do...if that's playing pool and smoking & drinking, then go to a bar...if it's reading, go to a library...if it's music, well...various choices..etc.etc...the right ferrets are at a decent pet store...but you knew that...*wink*) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:17 PM Morty, the answers are a, a, and b. My girl is sick with a fever right now, I wish I could cook her dinner and rub her feet and buy her shiny things, and do the dishes an laundry for her! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:22 PM hey, Matt, I used to get into arguments with my ex (weird saying that) over that....she wouldn' let me do anything for her when she was sick and I would get a little upset....only once did she let me and she was very sick then. I just wanted to say, lad, that I know exactly how that feels. Amergin |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:43 PM Back in the bad old uneducated days I used to get a lot of mileage out of "yes, dear." Unfortunately that also earned me some bruises. I think it was the whiny tone... Anyway I have learned my lesson and now I know exactly what to say and when to say it. And if you think I'm going to give ammunition like that to my competitors you have another think coming. You know, Carol, a kitten and a man would be a good combination. And, hey, I have a kitten right here! Well, OK, she's more of a full grown cat, and she isn't very friendly... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 06:54 PM ......oooooo boy................... Interesting how a thread goes isn't it? This one seems to have gotten some interesting responses and even a piece of real sage advice from Bill D. But, uh........Ya' see, Carol never said a thing about a boyfriend OR a ferret. What Carol said on the other thread was this: My very good friend, Ela, who lives in Maine (U. of M. at Orono) will be coming to visit me and spend New Year's Eve with me (weather permitting). My friendship with Ela is one good lasting thing I got out of my second to last significant relationship (with her father). It's always a treat to get to spend time with her. For 2001. Boy, that's a tough one. I honestly don't know in which direction I need to move during the upcoming year. So I guess my first goal is to try to get some clarity about what comes next. Well, me being a bit warped and liking to play with words, I responded: Well here's a thought Carol.......You could get to working on making Ela's father your third to last significant relationship. Or maybe you could buy a ferret. Your choice, but something to consider. The ferret bit was once again the silliest thing I could think of as a juxtaposition. And since I thought it was funny, I also thought, "Why not start a thread?"........Not a grain of truth to be found of course.......... Just shows that we'll talk about anything at any level for any reason. Gawd, I love this place!!! Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 08:54 PM ...so anyway, it looks like Joe Offer, Naemanson, and Chanteyranger have kindly offered themselves as possible candidates. How could I possibly choose only one of three of the best men in the Mudcat? Although I do like your persistance, Naemanson. (And the though of you running up my pant leg and making me laugh.) What I was actually referring to in the other thread was whether or not to take a semester off from school and whether or not to buy a car. And also what I want the direction of the whole rest of my life to be. Haven't got a clue. Anybody got any suggestions on any of that? Carol P.S. You guys are great! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:03 PM P.P.S. Thanks, Spaw. Merry Christmas. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:07 PM Oh right, inject a little reality into the thread! Thanks a lot, Spaw! Get us running and then try to steer us into a reality we could not possibly live up to! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:23 PM A REALITY CHECK FROM SPAW???!!!! GOTTA BE A FIRST, NO???
Another reality check here, from MomSorcha--ya know, guys, all we really ever want is for Stuff to be Noticed and Acted Upon........ie, garbage full--carry it out w/o being asked. Grass too tall? Cut it,w/o being asked. Seat up/down--no prob, really. Just fix it to suit yourself as long as you don't pee on the floor....if you do, clean it up. Your "stuff" all over the house so we can't clean/vacum? PICK THE DAMN STUFF UP AND PUT IT AWAY!! (w/o being asked/told/nagged) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:28 PM No need to be hostile, Sorch!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:30 PM Nah, matty, just 27 years of marriage and 2 kids kicking in, sweetie!I know you clean kitchens, so you are exempt from sarcasm!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:46 PM Haha! Thanks goodness! PARENTS! Teach your sons to clean!! Their wives will love them! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:53 PM Yes, indeed. Clean and COOK!! (let's not forget sorting laundry, and knowing how to run the machines, LOL!) Esp. if Someone expects his wife to be gainfully employed.....therefore, not AT HOME!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 10:36 PM It's quite easy to teach a man to use the cleaning appliances around the house. Just make sure your appliances are in a nice manly black, maybe with racing stripes, and explain to them that these are not appliances but large power tools. When faced with a power tool no self respecting man could do anything else but put it to work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM By the way, I like rats better than ferrets, too. My favorite pet rat was Simon. He used to come when his name was called, and he didn't need to be kept in a cage. He was very smart. I even took him to the movies once. He was riding on my shoulder, concealed under my hair. For those of you who don't know, rats make great pets. And I would just like to say, for the record, that I think men are wonderful. Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:06 PM Naemeson, great idea there......but my appliances are all already black.......excpet the fridge.......maybe I need black garbage cans? Black cat litter boxes? Oh dear....Carol, rats really are cool, aren't they? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:12 PM The Milwaukee Sawzall Vacuum cleaner!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM Ya' gotta' get it together Sorch!!! We have a big, black, Amana fridge and a matching stove. My friend Wayne refers to it as the "Black Hole." Truly, the black almost makes it negative space. If it were white, it would look HUGE!!! Our biggest regret is that Amana came out with this model (low freezer) in the next year painted to look like a Holstein! Wish we had that one! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:18 PM 'Scuse me Matt, but what does Milwaukee have to do with this? I was not aware the the Blackhawks were in Milwaukee......... thought they were inChiTown,or is it something else more obtuse? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM Spaw, are we talking a Holstein Fridge here? Well, hell, man, just spray paint the damn thing..........black blobs on white ground......maybe it will give milk on demand..or even better, food on demand, like an AutoMat, only better......."Please Send Stacked Green Chile Enchiladas With Sour Cream"........Oh lord I wish..(send tamales......) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:39 PM Ooooh ChiTown.... No no, Milwaukee is the brand that makes THE Sawzall. I have one, big red metal case...with "Milwaukee" in fancy letters on the top... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:05 AM Yes, Matt, Milwaukee is the brand....they are a great piece of machinery....now if only the gens I used to work on had been half as good..... Amergin |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:09 AM "Milwaukee's Best"....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:17 AM No, Sorcha, we were not talking about watered down piss, we were talking about tools....;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: zander (inactive) Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:45 AM Get a ferret Carol, in the words of an old song ' I'm awa hame to my ain wee garret, if I cannae get a man, I'll surely get a parrot { carrot } Love Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Thom M. at work Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:46 AM All I can think when you combine men and ferrets is "Ol' Ferret Face" himself Frank Burns on M*A*S*H. I sure hope that's not what you folks have in mind. PS. My wife and I have been married for 28 yrs. Sorcha and I cook, do the groceries, laundry and put down the seat. She has me very well trained. The only task that I really was never too crazy about was changing the kids crappy diapers. Thom M. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST Date: 29 Dec 00 - 11:42 AM ...never took to domestication very well, which is probably why the marriage went south...but (bitch, gripe and complain mode = ON)..."domestication" must mean that the man take responsibility for everything. If the woman sees that the grass needs mowing or the garbage needs emptying, there's no reason why she can't fire up that lawn mower, or trot the trash out to the curb herself...likewise, in the interest of fairness, if the man sees that the dishes need washing or a load of laundry needs to be done, he can take care of it... The next time around (if there is a next time) there will be a detailed prenuptial wherein both parties agree that if something needs taking care of, whoever notices it first has the responsibility to correct it. If that proves to be unrealistic, then there's going to be some serious trades made, such as: never having to scrub a toilet bowl in exchange for full responsibility for fixing any appliance or mechanical device that goes awry. Segue into why men have to accept full responsibility for the position of the toilet seat at all times. Men lost some serious ground in this battle. Aren't men (that is, men of sanitary manners and less than marksmanship capabilities) just as likely as women, statistically speaking, to find the seat in the wrong position for the elimination of liquid waste? Before the arbitrary and unfair resolution to this issue of paramount importance, how often over a beer at the local pub did one man complain to another, "And dammit, every time I whizz at home I have to lift that freakin' seat up!"? The next time the rotten plumbing has to be taken apart to remove an unsightly hair clog so that the scummy bath water can drain, she can handle that and I'll make a nice lasagna. Oh, the price men pay in exchange for not having to bear children. (bitch, gripe, and complain mode = OFF)
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:32 PM Wow, guest. You really don't have any issues, do you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST Date: 29 Dec 00 - 01:27 PM No, not really. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: kendall Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:09 PM Stick to just having good friends. They are a lot less trouble. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:30 PM "Why do women need men?" "Because you can't mow the lawn with a finger." (From the book, 'They Used to Call Me Snow White... But I Drifted; Women's Strategic Use of Humor.' Methinks. I can't trust my memory these days.) I tend to leave the toilet seat down because I like to sit and read on the toilet. I hardly ever stand up and read. Recently I found that I had left the seat up when I came home to a dark, cold, house, rushed into the bathroom and immersed myself in cold water and porcelain. The toilet seems larger when you experience it that way. Having that recent experience, I'd like to suggest that the issue isn't fairly traded in a tit for no-tit fashion. Like many women's issues, it's more of an issue of consequence and suffering. The only fair trade might be, "I'll trade off this suffering for that suffering of yours." |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Bert Date: 29 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM You're right Carol, rats make really good pets. They never bite (mice do) and they'll play just like puppies. They're smart too. We used to breed them one time. We had several breeding pairs, in large aquariums (No water in them, before anyone gets sarky). Well we were out of town for a few weeks and the kids let them escape. The rats reorganized their cages into a little township. One was the outhouse and they never pooped outside of it, another was the nursery, ALL the pups were kept there in one big hapy pile. And another was the grownup's living room. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM Flattop, I had been rather worried about your post-Christmas depression, but now I am deeply concerned! This latest clumsy attempt to end it all fortunately did not succeed. But...what if you had, in your struggles to extricate yourself from the porcelain fixture, happened to place your hand on the flush handle, thus activating the infernal device. Imagine the horror of it! A last view of the world (albeit in a darkened room, so not much of a view at that) spinning round and round frenetically, then a hideous "GALOOOOONK!" sound as you vanished forever from our world. You probably wouldn't have been missed for weeks. Hell, make that months... I hope you have come to your senses. Stay away from the bathroom, and don't unplug the phone. Your friends are just a call away. :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 29 Dec 00 - 07:33 PM Better yet, Little Hawk, put the phone in the bathroom... Bert, that's really cool. flattop, try immersing yourself in the toilet bowl when you're pregnant. That happened to me once. I almost needed several friends to come to my aid to extricate me from the toilet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 29 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM Maybe your scrawny bones would flush down the hole, Little Hawk, but they'd have to use a plunger to get my fat ass through. I have just one thing to say about your cavalier attitude to my misfortune. PUT THE DAMN SEAT DOWN! And no, Carol, I don't want to try immersing myself in the toilet bowl pregnant but I'd be interested in hearing what kind of hair brained scheme you had in mind when you suggested this. Did your toilet feel larger when you were inside it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 29 Dec 00 - 09:42 PM flattop... step over here and say that. It was cavernous. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: WyoWoman Date: 29 Dec 00 - 10:30 PM Having raised two children by myself, I learned to do all manner of household stuff by myself, including lawn mowing, toilet un-stopping, oil changes and just about anything requiring a cordless drill, depending on the attachment. Still, I do enjoy the company of a nice man from time to time to help with the heavy lifting -- as long as he's furry and playful. Ferrets might be the latter, but they're not much help when it comes to the former. ww |