Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: catspaw49 Date: 13 Dec 01 - 09:22 AM Young Simpson's mother did say, "Your dick's far too flacid today" "What ails you me lad?" He said, "Mom, don't be mad," "But Grandma's a much better lay!" ......back atcha' Snuff..... Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bill D Date: 13 Dec 01 - 11:21 AM my entries..(I never said I WRITE 'em) |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bill D Date: 13 Dec 01 - 11:38 AM ...and I hereby disavow any that don't scan! I hate awkward, a-rhythmic limericks, except where it is making a POINT about meter.....I guess one reason I seldom write any is that I am too picky about wanting them to be very clever, well constructed and elegant in their filthiness. *grin* |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bill D Date: 13 Dec 01 - 12:02 PM oh, great...they give a VERY nice explanation of limerick construction , with hints about good style. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST Date: 14 Dec 01 - 09:15 AM Old Spaw doesn't give a rat's ass Who thinks he is vulgar and crass. If you deign to judge him, It won't even budge him. He'll just tell you to go fuck yourself. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: brid widder Date: 14 Dec 01 - 01:49 PM an insatiable lady from Spain Had multiple sex on the brain she liked it again and again and again and again and again and again and to re-introduce a musical element... A student of music from Sparta Was a truly magnificent farter on the strength of one bean He'd fart God save the Queen And Beethovens Moonlight sonata |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bill D Date: 14 Dec 01 - 06:49 PM ahh,,but there is SO much more to the Sparta one! a true classic which 'mostly' scans |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bert Date: 14 Dec 01 - 10:27 PM When Spaw tells the GUEST what to do With himself and his prick and his flue the GUEST should take heed and be sure to proceed or the rest of us will tell him TOO. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST,rudolreindeer Date: 15 Dec 01 - 03:20 AM Jingle Bells, Santa smells And I hate WallMart Hay I wish I wuz in Moscow Town Humpin Ludmilladear
|
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST Date: 17 Dec 01 - 09:46 AM Old Spaw doesn't give a rat's ass Who thinks he is vulgar and crass. If you deign to judge him, It won't even budge him. He'll just tell you to go fuck yourself. "When Spaw tells the GUEST what to do With himself and his prick and his flue the GUEST should take heed and be sure to proceed or the rest of us will tell him TOO." Hey Bertie, relax, don't get tense. My last post was in Spaw's defense. It's true, is it not? Don't be such a snot. I honestly meant no offense.
|
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: gnu Date: 20 Jun 02 - 11:02 AM Yesterday morning I was asleep well after I arose. A post to the "Jiggly" thread made me write this whilst I was still attemting waking. There once was a gigolo who was fat, So he couldn't quite get to where it's at, When faced with disgrace, He graced with his face, And now he's well paid for that.
|
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Chip2447 Date: 20 Jun 02 - 02:12 PM There once was a man from Clyde, whose wife just up and died. Rather than being blue, he found another ewe, and crossed over to the other side. A man named big Sam has died, and four hundred women cried. They buried Sam down under six feet of ground, and most of him still stood outside. Chip2447
|
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST,yum yum Date: 20 Jun 02 - 02:28 PM There was an old lady from Fife who was dyslexic most of her file. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Joe_F Date: 20 Jun 02 - 07:48 PM ObFolk: There was once an old person of Tring, Who, whenever they asked him to sing, Replied, "Isn't it odd? I can never tell `God Save the Weasel' from `Pop Goes the King'". |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Lynn Date: 20 Jun 02 - 10:43 PM Any limerick can be sung to the hymn tune "Blest Be the Tie That Binds": I wish that my room had a floor/I don't care so much for a door/But this walking around/without touching the ground/Is really becoming a bore! Courtesy of G. Ackeroid |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: MudWeasel Date: 21 Jun 02 - 02:45 AM There once was a lad from Purdue Whose limericks stopped at line two.
and then you have:
There once was a man from verdun. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Chip2447 Date: 21 Jun 02 - 10:03 PM There once was a girl named Tina, who wanted to play the ocarina. So, she asked her friend Chip, who is rather quite hip if he could teach her the Macarina. Chip pondered a bit and said, Tina, I'd rather be in bed. But no such luck, she left in his truck and went to visit Cleigh O'Possum instead. He tried his sorrows to numb, well drenched with a bottle of rum. And as for Tina, the last time that he seena she was naked in bed with a possum. Okay, okay, I'l quit now... Chip2447, (the ocarinageek) |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST,RobRoy Date: 22 Jun 02 - 02:14 PM Couldn't resist it , here comes one old, and one new. When Titian was mixing rose madder, his model sat perched on a ladder. The position, to Titian, suggested Coition! So he hopped up the ladder and had her. Our Plumbers new toilet creation, Immediately caused a sensation. In the wink of an eye It would unzip your fly' and simulate master-bi-ation!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: bob schwarer Date: 24 Jun 02 - 07:53 PM A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud Who was frightened and screamed very loud. Then a happy thought hit her: To scare off the critter, She sat up in bed and meowed!
There once was a lady named Perkins
thginK fo namow gnuoy a saw erehT |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Janice in NJ Date: 24 Jun 02 - 10:21 PM A mathematician named Paul, Has a dodecahedronal ball; The cube of it's weight,< Times his tool, in Base 8, Is his phone number -- give him a call! |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Janice in NJ Date: 24 Jun 02 - 10:25 PM Sorry about the stray mark. Let's try it again. A mathematician named Paul, Has a dodecahedronal ball; The cube of it's weight, Times his tool, in Base 8, Is his phone number -- give him a call! |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Nigel Parsons Date: 25 Jun 02 - 05:54 AM First, one of my own, which seems to have escaped from another thread.
Bill Shatner wrote all of "Tek War",
There was a young curate of Salisbury (some knowledge of English pronunciation/ alternate placenames required!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Willa Date: 25 Jun 02 - 04:50 PM LOL, Nigel And... A very polite man named Hawarden Went out to pick flowers in his gawarden. If he trod on a slug A worm or a bug He would instantly say, "I beg pawarden." and
She frowned and called him Mr.
Sorry, Bill D, but..
There was a young man of Japan,
|
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 25 Jun 02 - 07:23 PM And in the same spirit, Nigel and Willa: There was a young man called Noti Whose favourite food was ghoti He said on the whole I prefer Dover Sole As it's just the right shape for my doti BJ |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: MarkS Date: 25 Jun 02 - 10:57 PM Don't forget the young woman from Exeter So beautiful men crained their necksather One was so brave As to take out and wave The distingushing mark of his sexather. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Nigel Parsons Date: 26 Jun 02 - 05:26 AM There was a young girl from Darjeeling, Who could dance with remarkable feeling For miles around There was never a sound Save of fly buttons hitting the ceiling. or, the version written by Spike Milligan R.I.P. There was a young man from Darjeeling Who boarded a bus at Ealing It sid on the door "Please don't spit on the floor" So he stood up, and spat on the ceiling. An elderly queer from Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They lay on his bed 'Til he finally said "Who does what?, with what?, and to whom? !" The above is not considered 'pc', but "It's hard to find for love nor money A joke that's clean, and also funny!" Nigel |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Nigel Parsons Date: 26 Jun 02 - 05:53 AM To clarify the earlier post,(5 up from here). An old name for Salisbury, still in use liturgically is Sarum. And this is often used as an altenate pronunciation. One assumes that other words with similar spelling can be treated in the same manner! By the same token, the County of Hampshire is often referred to in speaking as 'Hants'. The limerick should now make more sense. Nigel |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST,Hecate Date: 26 Jun 02 - 06:10 AM There was a young man from taskent Whose penis was terribly bent to save himself trouble he bent the thing double and instead of coming he went. There was a young lass from Devizes Who had breasts of varying sizes one was so small it was nothing at all but the other was large and won prizes. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Nigel Parsons Date: 26 Jun 02 - 06:22 AM There was a young girl, a songwriterWhose voice just got quieter and quieterUntil one dayIt just faded awayrhubarb rhubarb rhubarb |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: VoxFox Date: 26 Jun 02 - 07:03 AM Here's one I wrote (please don't throw veggies, makes a mess on your screen*BG*) There's a place on the Web called Mudcat And the people there know where it's at They can talk everyday 'bout the songs that they play Yes, they certainly know sharp from flat. |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Nigel Parsons Date: 27 Jun 02 - 06:30 AM The people at Mudcat, it seems Can write lyrics and tunes in their dreams But when I start to sing the usual thing Is my singing is drowned by their screams! |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Nigel Parsons Date: 27 Jun 02 - 11:27 AM A bold Knight from old Ankh-Morpork Decided to go for a walk. He'd survived the crusades, So he went to 'The Shades'.! And this Knight, his last word was just "Squawk"! |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: The Walrus at work Date: 27 Jun 02 - 01:31 PM A young architect named Yoric One morning, while feeling euphoric, Produced for inspection Three kinds of erection, Corintian, Ionic and Doric. and an old favourite:
There was a young man from Australia Walrus |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: VoxFox Date: 27 Jun 02 - 07:03 PM I'll try my hand at another. A very fine fellow named Spaw Met with Cletus, the Reg Boys and Paw They had bacon and beans Well, you KNOW what that means A new paint job is needed!(GUFFAW!) I'll go now...VF |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 27 Jun 02 - 07:12 PM A very strange bunch are Mudcatters As a rule they're all mad as hatters They find it a doddle To spout utter twaddle But always talk sense when it matters BJ |
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie Date: 28 Jun 02 - 11:13 AM There was a young girl fromthe Clyde Who ate some green apples and died For the apples fermented Inside the lamented And made cider inside 'er insides. |
Share Thread: |
Subject: | Help |
From: | |
Preview Automatic Linebreaks Make a link ("blue clicky") |