Punch the Horse October Fest

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: sweetfire
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 05:29 AM

Cheat!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,specky
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 05:30 AM

deany boy................

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: sweetfire
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 05:31 AM

Clubbing seals is gross! Those barbaric monters who call themselves human beings are the ones who should be clubbed! So there!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 06:15 AM

Here is another crowd pleaser, sweetfire

look here

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,specky
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 06:24 AM

yuck..............

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: KJ
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 06:57 AM

Are they organic squirrels guaranteed free from antibiotics,hormones & forced cannibalism? Or are they the sort of thuggish beasts you see eating out of your dustbins or picking scraps up off the street?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: KJ
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 07:07 AM

Here's a recipe for 'Hot Air Pie'
Ingredients:
One freshly dismembered politician,
2 Onions (diced)
1 clove garlic
3 Carrots
2 Tomatoes & a squirt of tomato puree
Herbs to season
1 oxo cube
Preparation:
Lightly fry the politician & onions together until browned.
Put into large pot, chuck in some water & rest of the ingredients.
Simmer on a low heat for bloody ages as politicians are notoriously tough critters & will take a lot of tenderising. It may help if you beat seven shades of s**t out of the aforementioned politician prior to killing (oops I meant cooking)it.
Serve with a decent wine & I think you may be pleasantly suprised at how palatable they are.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 09:20 AM

Denister-your prize is a Big Mac from McDomalds.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 10:52 AM

Excellent! I'm starving. It's not made of Squirrels, is it?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 11:01 AM

FREE CURRY IN HULL

The curry ship i werk at, 9Avenue Continental, 35 Chants Ave,
is having an open night, on Wednesday, 5pm till 12,
there is free curry, you can look in the kitchen, and have a go at making sume curry, anf the Radio people are going Viking FM, and the telly people, Yorkshire TV Calender, open night is to celebrate 14th annieversery of opening, all welcome.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,thumper
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 11:19 AM

Great one I will have to out with my quiver & arrows and try it out.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 10:52 PM

John, I have a contact in Hessle who is growing his own chillies to sell.Jallopanos, scotch bonnets, very hot chillies etc. A selection is available from me.Would mustapha be interested?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 05:59 AM

Are the fellas going to yours this evening, Micheal? And do ya want me to come?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: ossonflags
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 06:22 AM

They are Peter, and yes you may, be delighted to see you.

A little something to cheer up the day:

Gone with the wind

An industrial tribunal in Sweden found that IT worker Goran Andervass was unfairly sacked for complaining when a colleague broke wind at work. The sensitive Swede rebuked his co-worker for deliberately farting in his office. "My colleague was absolutely aware of the awful smell" he said, "It was pure provocation ... and it made me terribly angry."

The colleague complained to bosses who suspended Mr Andervass over his conduct, later making him redundant. He kicked up a stink in the courts though, and was awarded £58,000 compensation.
Commenting on the case, Krister Skoglund of the Swedish Work Environment Authority ruled: "If a fart is done on purpose when going into somebody's office it is important that management takes the
matter seriously." ............and yeh, it is a true story!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 06:36 AM

I think I've worked with that guy.

What time, Mick?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 10:17 AM

gee i bet that guy felt daft!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 10:24 AM

Actually, that also sounds exactly like what a history teacher used to do at my school. He used to go into the next classroom, yes full of pupils, and do it! urgh, gross!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 10:46 AM

7.30 looks good pete.Could you text andy to remind him? cant get hold of him again.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 03:08 PM

For the few who was wondering what the national dish of 'ull was




food of the gods

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 03:10 PM

Drat, done it again,last guest was me again

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,The Meister
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 05:02 AM

Did anybody hear Terry Wogan being educated on the joys of 'Ull speak on R2 this morning? He needs further education, methinks. Les, you seem to be one of the leading exponents, perhaps you could send him further instruction?

Examples already used include
"err nerr" - an expression of dismay
"berl of cherries" - life is like a...

etc. More please?

Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Bassic
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 05:57 AM

The East Hull heating fuel delivery driver who, when asking directions said ...



"agoasacacurl tger t ferty fer frerm rerd. Izitun Banserm?"




Running this through the "babel fish" produces


I have a sack of coal which requires delivering to number 44 Frome Road. Is it part of the Bransholme estate?

As an aid to correct pronunciation, the "o" in agoasacacurl is short as in the word "police" and is immediatly followed by a very quick glockle stop which imediately runs into the rest of the word.

Should this not have its own thread under "Folklore" ? :-)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: KJ
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 06:22 AM

To make me & oakers feel at home here's a few of our local expressions:
Arse Cream : Ice Cream
Windas : Operating system for computers developed by Moikrasof
Troin : Form of transport that runs on tracks
Tittybabbi: Person or child acting immaturely, like an infant at the breast
Horse Pickle: Hospital
So Oaklet me ald mucker yow gorra feace lark a bulldog chewin' a wasp!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Oaklet
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 06:45 AM

Andyowfgorraviceliakagodgleadunderthecowindoer.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 06:55 AM

Ah fort ahd gerrin on it an thah while les was finkinabaht et an thah,
cos ahm nobad at this shit, me.


"durnt nah" - a stock answer to nearly any request for directions.

"nowt to do wi me" - a stock answer to nearly any request for help.

"yer whaaaht?" - can I help you?

"lickle bockle" - a small bottle

"eye eeer!" - a greeting

" it's siling down" - the weather is a trifle inclement

"ees/she's a fuckin' minger.'er/im!!" - a particularily unatractive member of the opposite sex

" Do one, dick'ead!!!!" your presence is annoying me.

" aye 'up!! ther's an 'oss on flags" - a warning - a horse on the pavement.

Sadly, because of the demise of the fishing industry some of the following are now nearly obselete.

" two blocks" - full sexual congress
" forced draft piece" a large lady
" pan of shackles" - a large container of stew
" crabby 'atch" - a candle lit supper - followed by full sexual congress



" ahm do'in a guvvy job" - I am contributing to the black economy.

" ar kids gorra start" - my brother is in employment

" ar kids gorra docker's book" - a miracle.

" ar kid's settli'n tommorer" - On the morrow my brother is recieving his commision for his monthly cruise to Bear Island / White sea/ Iceland/ Greenland etc.

" ar lass is up the duff" - my beloved is pregnant

"gonna get shit faced rurnd town,me" - some heavy drinkng in the city centre followed by a little light supper.

" eez gorra face as long as a gasmans 'mac" - some one who is very melancholic.

"sheez gorra face like a welders bench"- an unnatractive lady.

guh star' or wah les? gorra go now,me.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:33 AM

merbaal fern

ferk music

Two bodies were found flerting in the Humber

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,Harri Watts band (who ?)
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:47 AM

Mick Tomlinson Experience
Are you available for October 28 at City Hotel (Hull city centre near Guidhall)

Keep strummmmingggg see you tonight at SBT

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 08:33 AM

yo harri,
       dunno yet, will have to talk to sophia. are you a mudcat puppy now as well then?
         ps; we will be at spring bank tonight

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Les from Hull
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 08:46 AM

Will these do? Actually me nephew sent us em a bit ago. He's not from 'ull but is dad is.

Surfer/Posh name for a settee
draa waa waane /The opposite of sweet white wine
Mama mia/Here I am Mother.
Myrrh-bile/My other telephone
Me lickle perny/ A toy horse
A terld-a-merl/I informed everyone
Perch deg/A snack, usually on terst.
Spurts clairs/Garments worn by athletes.
Yerolidiz/Your annual vacation
Erk/A type of wood
Yer sir slur/You are not very quick
Rail smerl/Not very big
Burla cherries/"Life is just a................"
Rerm/Capital of Italy
Kirk-a-curler/A fizzy drink, usually served curled.
Burn idol/Extreme laziness
Bains out larkin'/The children are out playing
Gunna snerr/Winter weather expected
Rerd rage/Disgruntled drivers
Perm/A composition in verse
Yer mammal ner/Your Mother will have the information
The Nerth Pearl /The most northerly point on Earth
Erm Sweet Erm/One's place of residence
Oi! Gerreer!/Please approach me
Nerz kern/The pointed end of a rocket
Fern Curls/Telecommunications
The Perp/Head of the Roman Catholic Church
Yer jerkin'/I don't believe you
Lerds 'n lerds/Plenty
British Erm Stairs/Well known department store
Pearls/People from Poland
Err nerr!/An expression of dismay
Goin' on rerd/Going shopping
Gorra curled/I have the sniffles

Les from Hull
Pretender to the Throne of Hull

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:34 AM

eyeurdewaasfrumwitherurrunzee, wurulleegulleezzurcalleddiggers!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: sweetfire
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:57 AM

Yo harry!!!! yeah sure we will. see ya tonite.

hey there are a few of us in Hull that don't talk like that!....you lot are talkin townie talk!

" Do one, dick'ead!!!!" your presence is annoying me.

    ......at one point this used to be all townies favourite saying, cos all townies are 'ard now aren't they?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:46 AM

What we were trying to achieve sweetfire, was to give a cross representation of Hull speech patterns, both módern, old town,occupational slang, dialetic, estate new speak and the awful new vogue of mid atlantic/australian interrogative?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 05:09 AM

At least I thought it was that?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 06:47 AM

yo dudes
       on tues 28th at city hotel opposite the guildhall, the very lovely "harri watts band" will be hosting an acoustic evening.sophia and I will be there under our new monicker "the mick tomlinson experience". BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!!
                     el ted

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,Harri Watts Band
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 07:58 AM

Thanks for that El Ted

Our good friends and yours The Flat Mates have told us they will be putting in an appearance and performing 1 or 2 numbers for everyones entertainment. The more the merryyyyeeerrr

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:02 AM

Does anyone want to purchase a fertercopier?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:28 AM

peter, I thought you had hit your target,shouldn't you just be tossing it off for a bit?
          anyway, do turn up chaps and marvel at mick tomlinson's hat collection! he plays harmonica too!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: sweetfire
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:48 AM

dad, what have i told you about that name...it's not gunna work!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:04 AM

who is mick tomlins son? i never herd of him.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:57 AM

NEVER HEARD OF MICK TOMLINSON!!! you come from hull and you don't know the town's premier small builder and gob iron player! he hosts the wednesday session at spring bank tavern. PA,small stage, all very professional, you ought to come along next week john.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:59 AM

oh, i might go if i'm not doing nowt.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:12 AM

pass the word round the polar bear boys john, i hear they are homeless now because that session has ended. owt on at the tap and spile these days?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:23 AM

Tap n Spile=
Mondays=Booked Acts,[usually folk/accoustic]
Tuesdays=Musicians Night
Wednesdays=Blues Night
Thursday=Jazz Night
Alternate Sunday aft =Blues sessions with Graham

there used to be a folk session every sunday night there, not sure whats happening with it, not been there on a sunday for a while.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:29 AM

El-As far as I know, the Polar Bear, still have there open mic/musicians night thing on a Wednesday, in fact Steve Noreeko was in the paper a couple of weeks plugging it, I am not aware of any other sessions at the Polar Bear.
Polar Bear is now owned by same geezer that owns the Marlborough Club, he also owns The Grafton.
I'm sure their wensday night thing is still going, as he showed me some flyers that he was distributing to promote the music night there, unless you know different?
[This was last thursday, he showed me the flyers].

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:32 AM

I heard recently that somebody has started a session up at the Editorial on Spring Bank, do you know anything about this one?
Which night it is, who goes, what sort of music/songs etc?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 11:55 AM

Is he also known as "Muddy Humber Mick" ?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 12:46 PM

When are PTH playing next and where aznd will that young lass who plays the fiddle be there as well?

Questions that demand answers now!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 04:09 AM

Funny you should ask, Guest. The equine pugilists are scheduled to appear at the Rose and Crown, Hornsea, on Saturday 1st November, with the lovely Nikki displaying her beauty and musical virtuosity for the benefit of the good people of Holderness. Following that, the following Sunday sees the return of the magnificent Oakley for the final appearance at the Sun Inn, Beverley.

I'm currently treating the imminent re-emergence of PTH with a little alarm. I got the pot off my hand on Wednesday, and currently it feels worse than before I went to hospital. Movement is severely restricted, a large part of my thumb is completely numb, and any attempt to grip anything hard in my left hand (like, say, the neck of a guitar) is greeted with a bolt of excruciating pain in my hand and forearm. But, hey, it's still a week away, and I'm 'ard, me.

KJ.....????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 05:08 AM

You could get some Physio on it. That would help.

So is this gig in Hornsea a private affair or can anybody go?

I like that lass who plays the fiddle I think she's loverly and a good fiddle player too.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse October Fest
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 05:51 AM

Come on guest put a name up!!!! We don't do demand,by the way.

However, here are one or two pieces of information . "Punch the Horse "gigs are always public except when they aint - weddings etc..You are more than welcome to attend the Hornsea one.

Nikki is the girl who plays the fiddle, and yes, we think she is exceptional.

The gig at the "Sun" will be the last one we do there (maybe) but it is NOT the end of "Punch Tne Horse"!!! we have bookings to the end off this year and a long list of gigs for 2004.

Sorry to hear all about the o'wld arm axeman, talk to me soon,please.