BS: What's your pirate name?

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Seaking
Date: 07 Oct 07 - 02:33 PM

Calico Harry Cash (uh ?)

Call me Cal...

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 07 Oct 07 - 03:17 AM

Californian

(used to be Blackbeard, but went for a Brazilian and decided to go the all the way on the spur of the moment)

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 07 Oct 07 - 12:51 AM

Loretta

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 06:36 PM

LeeJ, here I'd just heard that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was going to invite Lance on the show!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Stringsinger
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 06:21 PM

Plager Eyes

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 05:41 AM

Yes and I should like to apologise for perpetuating negative stereotypes about disabled people. We don't all make idiots of ourselves and marry Paul MacCartney.

One Legged Jake
(AKA The Pissing Pirate - incontinent and largely responsible for the seven seas lapping around around our feet)

Arrr!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 12:54 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, it has been firmly but gently pointed out to me by someone whose opinion I put at high estate, that my portrayal of the character "Lance McMerkin the Paisley Pirate" in my writing above is grossly inappropriate. If I have offended anyone by an overexaggeration of behavior that tends to perpetuate stereotypes, I'm heartily sorry.

Regards to all concerned

LEJ

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: GUEST,buspassed
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:26 AM

Hal O'Sayler

Off to set the old tregallants. Ooh! this salt water plays havoc! Who's got me straighteners?

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:58 AM

lot of mad buggers out there

I be Contented Nobby Hands, as ever was....

Avast!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:54 PM

"Skookum Maguire, love the elegant design of yer website and look forward to reading your books!!"


          Kat - Great! Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Chip2447
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 11:10 PM

Iron William Bonney, we be a welcom'ng ye to the clan, specially if'n ye brought more rum.

Mad Tom...(Drink up me earties yo ho)

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 09:24 PM

This 'Pirate name test' seems to remind me of those 'think of a number, do some maths with it - take away the number you first thought of, and the answer is ...' games...

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 01:53 PM

Iron William Bonney (a/k/a as Iron Billy the Kid, I guess).

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 08:25 AM

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Iron William Kidd

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 12:05 AM

Oh gawd and gawdesses! Classic LeeJ Alert!! A warning, sir! Well-done...can't wait to read more!

Skookum Maguire, love the elegant design of yer website and look forward to reading your books!!

"Now, awa' wi'ye mye-tees!" sez I, Captain Prudentilla Roberts!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: EBarnacle
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 11:38 PM

Dread Pirate Kidd 'ere, whot's this sissy Arrg nonsense? Everyone knows that Pee is the important letter in the pirate lexicon. After all, it's better than Arrg cos it's missin' a leg.

Besides, anyone one dialysis can tell you that taking a pee is one of life's great pleasures.

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: redsnapper
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 12:18 PM

Mad Roger Flint

(another one of the Mad Flint Clan and the Good Ship The Mad Flint)

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: GUEST, Pieces of Kate
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 11:25 AM

Well, being a lazy sod, I didn't even bother to read the questions, never mind answering them (I just wanted to see if this was a crafty way for someone to get personal information - name, date of birth, etc.) but there on the third page was a name for me anyway [Black Morty Rackham, if you really want to know]. It's about as interesting as playing a fruit machine without any money going in or out of the machine.

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 10:54 AM

Pastel Lance McMerkin, swatch-buckler. Too funny.

~Dirty Jen Flint

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 06:07 PM

http://www.riginslinger.com/

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: HouseCat
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 05:30 PM

Red Harry, you must be my long-lost twin! And I'm still waiting for the tests to come back on which Captain Bess is my real Mummy. Yes, we Flints are a dysfunctional lot.
Red Bess Flint, instigator and agitator

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:39 PM

Red Harry Flint.


Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Guess it's better then "The Dread Captain blueberry" which was my former Pirate name.

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:33 PM

Them as dies will be the lucky ones aaarrrrggg
Iron Jack Cash

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 08:26 AM

ha haaaarrrrrr
Mad Ann Rackham (pronounced RACKem)

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 08:25 AM

Aah can see some VERY silly Mudgathers happening soon!

Aar! Aarr! Aaarrrrr"

OOh! Nice Aaaarrrs!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Chip2447
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 11:13 PM

Captain Anne Bonney (Tabster)
Calico Bess Bonney (Bee)
Mad Ethel Bonney (Liz the Squeak)
Mad Tom Bonney (Chip)
Black Roger Bonney (Geordie-Peorgie)
Red Mary Bonney (ranger1)
Iron Anne Bonney (Alba)
Bloody Charity Bonney (Tig)

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 09:47 PM

maybe this guy should have been a pirate

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Naemanson
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 08:30 PM

Iron Tom Cash

Skipy (Mad Davy Cash)
Canadienne (Bloody Mary Cash)
Scoville (Black Ethel Cash)
LadyJean (Red Jenny Cash)
Jim Lad (Iron Sam Cash)
WYSIWYG (Mad Bess Cash)
Barb'ry (Dirty Morgan Cash)
RangerSteve (Mad Sam Cash)

Must be me children. I wonder, who were the mothers? Can't quite remember...

Still runnin'

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 06:37 PM

Though Captain Buford had been told he was expected aboard the pirate vessel Angry Hinde early for breakfast, Rude Billy showed up rather late in the morning. The Captain and Billy exchanged few words as the huge outlaw rowed Buford across to McMerkin's ship. Buford scanned the clustered groups of brightly-attired men on the deck, but could see none of his crew among them.

They boarded and Flint rapped sharply on the cabin door, McMerkin's musical tone calling out "just a min-nute," from within. Momentarily, the Paisley Pirate appeared, a runcible spoon held in his right hand. "Captain Buford, delighted!" He ushered them in, saying "I'm sorry we're eating so late. I guess this is more of a brunch than a breakfast. Truth is the good ship's wine cellar took a heavy hit last night. Forgive me, but we were making a bit merry over having seized your ship. I even opened a bottle of twelve year old Bordeaux that I was saving for my sister's wedding. Anyway, excuse me for a second, I've got a hot saucepan on the brazier. I can't trust anyone else with Hollandaise. I hope you like Tern's Eggs Benedict. Anyway, have a seat. " He brandished a crystal pitcher and said "Mimosas?"

As Buford and the sullen Flint sipped their mimosas, the Captain noticed how tastefully the Hinde's quarters had been done. The Chinese-style furniture was sturdy, attractive, and functional. The entire cabin smelled of vanilla and almonds. From behind a silk-partition decorated with flying herons, McMerkin called out "please excuse the mess, we've all just been too hung over to do much of anything." Nothing could have been neater. It looked like a room in a museum, and Buford had a sudden overwhelming urge to scatter the fruit from the bowl across the room and stomp it into the oriental carpets. Before he could act on this urge, the Paisely Pirate had entered with a steaming silver platter.

"Delicious, Captain" said Buford, swallowing a mouthful of egg. "But I must ask...what have you done with my men?"

McMerkin paused and placed his fork upon the tablecloth, his eyes vaguely menacing. "What have I done with them?" Flint squirmed in his seat and cleared his throat quietly in the silence that followed."McMerkin smiled and said "what haven't I done with them! Billy, fetch 2nd Mate Manning and Ensign Prisk. You'd better refill your mimosa glass, Captain!"

Shortly, Flint had returned with two forlorn individuals that Buford barely knew for his shipmates. "My god, man...what's happened to them?" Buford blurted.

"Well," said McMerkin. "Ensign Prisk didn't look at all like pirate material when I first saw him. With his athletic but rather thin physique, he was just lost in that silly baggy blue uniform. It honestly made him look like a starving policeman. Besides, he's an Autumn and the blue is entirely too cool for him. By the way, I love the name Prisk as a pirate name, but I have changed his first name from Lionel to Shark-Shagger. It's sort of violent and naughty at the same time. Anyway, I wanted a look that would accentuate his rugged angularity, but a look that still said 'sure I rape and pillage, but I don't mind curling up with my kitty and a good book once in a while.' I think the coffee corduroy trousers and knee boots are great on him, but I haven't made up my mind about the red neckerchief.
Now Mr Manning was an entirely different challenge. I looked at him and said to myself 'Lance, if there was ever an argument against too much red meat...' He's a bit out of shape and rotund, but that's why we have a fitness room on the poop deck. In the meantime, the vertical striped tunic and loose-fitting breeches have a very slimming effect, wouldn't you agree? It a whole new diet for Mr Manning from now on. We eat only fish, vegetables and whole grains on The Angry Hinde." He took a sip of his mimosa, flapped his hand at them, and said "anyway, you two are dismissed. Go and get Mr Sykes to show you around the ship."

"I hope our clever Doctor Ortega was able to fix your arm up?" said McMerkin.
"Oh yes. Very well thanks."
"He was quite a steal. Took him off of a Spanish treasure ship." Pastel Lance smiled and said " I suppose you find us a queer bunch of pirates..." At this, Buford and Flint exchanged an uncomfortable glance. "...but I assure you we're quite serious about our work."
Flint suddenly spoke up "the Captain is a fine swordsman."
Buford followed the lead "you don't say?"
McMerkin answered with a smirk, then drew his cutlass, attacking and parrying with an invisible opponent. "Yes," he said, "I studied two years at L'Ecole Militaire' in Paris. Many are surprised on meeting me to find me such a..a..."
"Gentleman?" Buford volunteered.
"Yes, quite. Yet don't be misled. This gentleman, as you say, has skewered many a handsome Spaniard in his time." Again, Buford and Flint exhanged uncomfortable looks. A long moment of silence ensued, which Buford broke by querying the sullen Flint "I say, Mr Flint. Tell me something of your past and how you came to sail with the Paisley Pirate."
Flint shot a quick look, then mumbled "nought to tell."
McMerkin quickly jumped in. "I fear I must apologize for Mr Flint. It seems someone is still pouting over not getting his way and wants to be rude and childish, isn't that right William? Someone wanted to keel-haul you and your crew, even after I explained that you were our guests and we don't keel-haul our guests, isn't that so Mr Flint?"
Flint instantly got to his feet, his face crimson. He turned over his plate of half-eaten tern eggs and stomped out slamming the door.

After a moment of silence, McMerkin said "I must apologize. I'm really sorry you had to witness that ugly scene. He really is a brute. I don't know why I keep him around, except..well, except sometimes with all of the gold, and the jigs, and the dressing-up...sometimes I guess I forget what it really means to be a pirate, the whole dagger-in-the-teeth thing, you know. I suppose that's what Billy provides. More mimosa?"
"Thanks but I'd really like to check on the rest of my crew, if that's alright."
"Of course. I think most of them are still in wardrobe."

Buford left, as McMerkin called out in parting "don't forget..pantomime tonight at 6 bells!"

As Buford returned to his ship, a desperate escape plan began to form in his mind.

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 06:31 PM

'Bloody Charity' Bonney?

Did ye used te live in Dr Barnardo's Home?

Somebody came te wor door rattlin' a collectin' tin and says "Dr Barnardo's Home"

Aah says, "Aah didden't knaah he'd been away!"

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Skivee
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 01:37 PM

Not that there's anything wrong with that, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 01:26 PM

The captain, a fresh sword wound in his right arm leaving a deep crimson stain on his sleeve, sat in his own cabin under the watchful eye of scruffy ruffian holding a flintlock pistol levelled at his forehead. "Aye, ye'll have more to worry yerself than that wee scratch on yer arms when Cap'n McMerkin comes to see ye. "The captain closed his eyes, the entire incident of the attack by the pirate ship, the broadside that dropped his ships masts and crippled her rudder, the sudden merciless boarding in which his crew and passengers were overwhelmed in ten minutes time. What had become of his crew? He could only surmise the worst from the random pistol-shots and screams that reached his ears from the deck.

Suddenly, the cabin door was thrust open, and a large man in canvas pants, a soiled linen shirt, his left leg missing and a wooden peg in its place, and a bloodthirsty scowl on his face entered. "Good evenin' yer leige!" smiled the bearded giant. The captain stiffened in his chair and said "I suppose you'd be McMerkin."
"I?" responded the brute. "Not I? I be Cap'n McMerkin's first mate, Rude Billy Flint. This here be our Captain." And he stepped aside as a small willowy fellow in a flowing paisley scarf hopped forward and stood, legs akimbo.

"Yes," said the dashing figure, "I am Pastel Lance McMerkin, that some call the Paisley Pirate!" With this, the slim figure made an exaggerated bow. "And your ship Captain, is mine. You and all of your men shall join me in my thrilling adventures!"

"We shall not!" protested the captain.

"Then you shall walk the plank and tapdance with the sharks! No? I thought that option might be unattractive. Then you shall join me in my crazed acts of derring-do! First, you'll need a new uniform. Something like mine, but in more of a lilac, with maybe rose lapels." Turning to the large pirate, McMerkin said "see if you can get Smythe to put something together for him, something with epaulets and kind of Navyish, but still piratey and fun." The large man nodded and exited, as McMerkin continued " and this cabin...good lord! All of this clunky oak furniture? It looks like it was decorated by a viking!"

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Skivee
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 12:38 PM

It appears that this site thinks that I be The Dread Pyrate Flint.
This is clearly a damned lie.
The Skivee clan has never held with those sons of sea-cows, the Flints. They are low dogs who sleep in their own vomit. Never trust a Flint. Shoot them on sight.
Besides, I have my own pyrate name, "Long John Skivee"
Thanks for listening,
Your most trusted servent,
Long John Skivee

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 12:26 PM

Man. I would hate to meet the family!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 09:01 AM

Mouldy, I must be related to you, cos I'm Dread Pirate Rackham!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: mouldy
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 05:56 AM

Well I'm Mad Ann Rackham and stripey_camel is Dread Pirate Bonney

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: The Walrus
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 05:04 AM

Arrgh Mad Tom Roberts 'ere
Lorsts me legt leg fightin' Spaniards off Portobello,
Lorst me right 'and fightin' the King's Navy off Port Royal
Lost me right eye to seagull crap (it was the first day wi' me new 'ook) Arrrr

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: GUEST,Mrr visiting mom
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 09:05 PM

Georgiansilver, you have the exact same pirate name as my elder twin son! Hmmm... Robyn, I'm sure we are!

Anybody remember "Rackham le Rouge" from Tintin?

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: HouseCat
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 04:07 PM

Hey, I'm Red Bess Flint, so WHICH ONE OF YOU CAPTAIN BESS FLINTS IS ME REAL MUMMY??????? O the trauma...

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 04:00 PM

Mad Sam Cash. I may be related to a bunch of you. I'm a little jealous of JimLad, Iron Sam Cash is such a cool name and could double as a professional wrestler's name.

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Barb'ry
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 02:58 PM

Dirty Morgan Cash at your service... they said I smell but it's a lie!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Tig
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 02:52 PM

Seems we Bonney's are ready to take over the high seas. When do we sail??

Bloody Charity Bonney

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 02:20 PM

Mad Anne Flint here. Is this kind of like reincarnation, where there are MANY incarnates of the same person?

"Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr! "

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 01:56 PM

Mad Jack Rackham

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 01:48 PM

Red Harry Flint

I think I'll stick with Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Alba
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 12:41 PM

Well now, I be 'Iron Anne Bonney'

'tis is good fit me thinks!
Jude..*Big Grin*

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 11:58 AM

Two captains on a ship is like two head cooks in a kitchen. Ladies first...

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 11:26 AM

Sinsull, me mateyl.....one of us is going to have to walk the plank. YOU GO FIRST!

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: Becca72
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 11:25 AM

Looks like some o' me kin is here as well...EBarnacle and gnu..does that make us the "Kidd kids"?

Subject: RE: BS: What's your pirate name?
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 11:12 AM

Metchosin - I AM CAPTAIN BESS FLINT!
Wonder how Captain Morse will take that?????