BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???

Subject: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:14 PM

This story is good for a few laughs! From today's news:

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian couple who were caught having sex in a church confessional box while morning Mass was being said have repented and made peace with the local bishop.

The couple, in their early 30s, were detained by police earlier this month after they had made love in the confessional box in the cathedral in northern Cesena. They were cautioned for obscene acts in public and disturbing a religious function.

Their lawyer said they had been drinking all night and realized they had gone too far.

The lawyer told the area's local newspaper on Wednesday the couple met with the local bishop on Tuesday night, asked for his forgiveness and that he had given it.

Last week the bishop celebrated a "Mass of reparation" in the cathedral where the confessional box incident took place to make up for the sacrilege.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:19 PM

And what's wrong with that? At least they weren't in the pews. Doing that sort of thing in the pews during Mass will get you thrown out of church. Trust me on that.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:21 PM

Yeah, Rapaire, but that was at the goat sacrifice . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:24 PM

Well, we WERE a little bit ahead of the service....

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:25 PM

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but it's not the first location I would pick if I was in the mood...

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:26 PM

I gather this is a Catholic church?

So many sins... so little time to list them here....


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: PoppaGator
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:28 PM

Of course, you could up the ante and do it ON the altar.

I believe that's called the "black Mass," and is generally frowned upon, except (of course) by the Antichrist.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:28 PM

I think that holding a "Mass of Reparation" was a simply splendid idea for smoothing over those ruffled feathers in the wake of this embarrassing incident. I bet it was a very moving occasion for all those in attendance.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:56 PM

"I confess that I am doing it in the confessional box now"       well you had better say 29 Hail Marys and abstain in the future........but....I am just reaching orgasm your grace I can't stop now!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:00 PM

The first nun looked and had a stroke.
The second nun looked and had a stroke.
The third nun couldn't reach.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Bee
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:19 PM

Poor planning - they got caught.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:39 PM

My post disappeared!

Try again,

In a previous report story the couple involved stated that they were atheists so they didn't care if it offended anyone. In this report their "lawyer" stated they had been drinking all night. I certainly hope this is the case. I'd hate to think that a couple could be so crass and uncaring about who they would offend. If not they better be right about their religious views, could be trouble in the after life if they're wrong!

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Def Shepard
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:43 PM

I suspect the former is right, and the latter is the defence put before the courts, which is a very sad state of affairs (if you'll excuse the pun! :-D)

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:01 PM

LOL!

Is NOTHING sacred?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:03 PM

There are many who could confess...'Nothing is sacred'

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:04 PM

Well, here's the question: Will they have to go through this again at the next confession (reconciliation)?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:08 PM

The key thing is...do not allow those two to enter the same confessional box at the same time, because it could lead to a conflict of interest.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:14 PM

Not sex at all but speaking of the confessional box... I recently reread Frank O'Connor's short story 'First Confession' and about fell on the floor laughing. It's about a little boy who is dragged by his older sister to confession to be cleansed of his many sins.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:35 PM

If only it was that easy..... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:57 PM

So they were having sex in a confessional. What's the big deal? At least they weren't Morris dancing.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:58 PM

Wouldn't it be a little cramped in there?

(I'm not sure, because I've never gone to confession.)

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 07:04 PM

LH, if you leave the bed inside, yes, it's cramped.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 07:12 PM

Hi Kids! Is it just me or does anybody else reading this think that a whole lot has been left out of the story?
Drinking all night? Would that have taken place at the local bar? Their place? Did they BYOB and figure that a Church would be the ideal place to finish off the 40?

Or, was it a challenge type of thing? "Gina, where haven't we made love?"
"Lemme see. We did the elevator, the pool table, subway, mile high one time last summer over Palermo..."

Or, was it just dark and a "we may as well go in here type of thing?"

Ah, life's mysteries...
bob

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 08:11 PM

Likely not the first time it was used. But, maybe a first for someone from the outside.

I suspect a preferred location only for the young and very supple.

But, on a high note, one may be closer to absolution?

Kind of a "heavenly high club" sort of thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 08:14 PM

Ya daft bugger. Good though! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 10:37 PM

I guess it would be handy for absolution. Kinda like living next to a cemetery.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 10:45 PM

One thing about the sin of having sex--when forgiveness arrives, there's no mistaking it!!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Michael
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 01:03 AM

Do you repent my child?

Yes!,
Yes!!
Yeeesss!!!!!

(And no jokes about The Second Comming, please.)

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 02:36 AM

It must have been one heck of a boring sermon... and I've sat through more than a few in my time!

Perhaps the fact that I don't frequent churches with confessionals explains why I've never come up with that way of alleviating the boredom.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: GUEST,LTS caught in a reverie
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 02:37 AM

Although there was this one time in a Franciscan Friary when I was younger and much more supple....


:D

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Michael
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 05:36 AM

Good job it wasn't Trappist, Liz.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Wolfgang
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 07:23 AM

The bit that was never mentioned in the news but which interests me most: Were they both on the same side or on different sides of the confessional booth?

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 08:06 AM

Glory be!

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 08:09 AM

"You see, Your Honor, we thought the place was a sex shop and that it was a peep-show booth. We put our ten euros in the slot and waited five minutes for someone to show up on the other side, but they never did. So, we thought 'What the hell? Let's just entertain ourselves.'"

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 08:35 AM

Well, at least they didn't have to go far to confess their "sin".A cardinal rule should be "There shall be no conception on the premises", but in a Catholic church what guarantee would there be?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 09:09 AM

Why couldn't the priest have given ME a penance like that?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Michael
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 09:15 AM

Not even immaculate, Tom?

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: strad
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 09:42 AM

How could he manage it after an all night drinking session?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 10:10 AM

It's called being young, strad.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:00 PM

Michael: LOL! No, immaculate's been done.I wouldn't bet on another.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Def Shepard
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:09 PM

bob says, "Is it just me or does anybody else reading this think that a whole lot has been left out of the story?

Reading more into it than there actually is?

It's a straight-forward humourous, slightly saucy story, something some folks, perhaps, dream of doing themselves :-D

Poor sods got caught coming and going though :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:18 PM

Dear Def: Maybe when you go home tonight and find two strangers in your bed in a 3-way with an elk, I think you may have a few questions to ask....
bob

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Def Shepard
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:25 PM

The major fault in your reply is that elk are not a native species to where I live ( no even sure if the zoo have any). My previous statement stands as written.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: PoppaGator
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:33 PM

I would imagine that most instances of sex in confessionals are solo exercises.

It's nice and dark in there, quiet, private...

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:35 PM

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!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Def Shepard
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:46 PM

I was going to mention The Bates Family, Mr Bates, Mrs. Bates, Miss Mates and the son...... but perhaps I won't :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 05:24 PM

See Def? These kinds of things create questions, and answers... And look at all the people willing to help you. Try getting your local pizza place to deliver an elk.

O.K. back to your bedroom. Would you have said anything to them? And more importantly, WHAT would the elk have said to you?

bob

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Def Shepard
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 05:58 PM

The joke for me is over..time to move on....

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 06:09 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 07:20 PM

Okay...but our Elks hold up better in the cold weather, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 07:26 PM

Are there "Murphy beds" in confessionals?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 07:48 PM

Youse had confessionals? When I was a lad, I had to kneel before Father and confess... no confessional... no screen... so he could look right into my eyes and tell I was lying.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I took The Lord's Name in vain."

"And why did you sin lad?"

"Three big boy's pelted me with snowballs and I couldn't get away Father."

"Ah. So, you swore because they assaulted you."

"No, Father. Because the other two beat me up after I kicked the big one in the nuts."

"Say two Our Father's and three Hail Mary's and keep kicking next time."

Father Peter Magee.. a Flying Father... that is a Canuck thang. Google it.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: skarpi
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 08:27 PM

So !!!

way to go , do it again again again . Its mother nature to have sex .
Sex in a church ? why not , people do it in airplanes , ships cars
trains, in puplic places ? in stores , waitings rooms ?
why not church ??


All the best skarpi Iceland

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 08:52 PM

Sounds like it's best in Iceland.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:15 AM

The couple, in their early 30s, were detained by police earlier this month after they had made love in the confessional box in the cathedral in northern Cesena. They were cautioned for obscene acts in public and disturbing a religious function.

That's got to be the first time where anything that went on in a confessional has been described as happening "in public".

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: skarpi
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:02 AM

hee heee gnu , yes it is I guess :>))

ATB Skarpi

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: MarkS
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 01:34 PM

They heard the welfare state would take care of them from the erection to the resurrection.
They figured they were in the right place for the second and wanted to start things off.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 02:47 PM

Holy fuck! (someone had to say it...) (my apologies if someone else already did, and I missed it)

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 03:27 PM

I sometimes wonder why two people making love (regardless of where they do it) is considered "obscene".

It is not designed to incite lust-- that part is already taken care of. And to label it abhorrent to the mind is more a reflection on the poor quality of the mind than of the act.

I grant it is often an ungainly, awkward act, embarassing because of the vulnerability of the participants. Nor is it one I particularly would want to watch done by others. But I don't think it is right to label it obscene.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Michael
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:15 PM

I agree Amos, never watched or wanted to but without it there would be few of us on this earth.

Was it during a particularly uninspiring homily? The Sermon on the Mount,perhaps.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Greg B
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:25 PM

I've heard of it happening on quite a few occasions, but never
in the absence of a priest. c.f. Crimens Sollicitanus

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:05 PM

I don't get why it's considered "obscene" either. Someone has got their wires very badly crossed to come up with that.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Willie-O
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:37 PM

Well think about it some more, LH et al. Them that mustn't....

W-O

Personally I think the balcony would be far better.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 11:43 PM

Well, I would call it "inappropriate", not obscene. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: EBarnacle
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 01:50 PM

I can hear it now--
"Bless us Father for we have sinned"
"Us??"
"Yes, Father, an act of unsanctified coition." "Us???" "Yes, Father, we have just completed our pleasure and felt we should confess the act."
"Us???? Are you bragging or confessing and where did this act take place?"
"Oh, right here in the confessional Father. We felt that we should confess right after we did it and are mortally ashamed of having gotten it off in Holy Mother Church."
"[under his breath] Hmm, I wonder whether that counts as mortal or venal. And do you truly repent of having unsanctified sexual relations?"
"Not really, but we won't do it in the confessional again. The room is quite uncomfortable."
"[Under his breath] Even so, this is a mortal sin. You will have to make a substantial contribution to the Church, endowing a Mass and buying an indulgence."
"Actually, Father, we're atheists."
"Blashpemers!!! Polizei!!!"

The rest you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: EBarnacle
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 02:11 PM

Correction: "Carabinieri!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 02:49 PM

Was there a tomato or a Morris dancer involved in this escapade?

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Art Thieme
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 04:21 PM

Abstaining is the least of the staining possibilities here I would think. Make 'em clean up the church, and their act too!

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: robomatic
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 06:51 PM

knees up mother Brown!

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 09:18 PM

Speaking of menage-a-trois, watch to the very end. pretty amazing, actually!

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 10:00 PM

That's really cute! What a sweet and cuddly moose.

Subject: RE: BS: Caught having sex in confessional box???
From: Greg B
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 08:44 AM

How'd the get caught. Did the little light keep going on-off-on-off?

(For the non-Catholics in the crowd, some confessionals were
rigged up with a switch so that when someone knelt down on the
kneeler inside, a little light signifying 'occupied' would
go on outside...and another in the priest's center cubicle to
indicate that there was a confesee waiting.)