BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!

Subject: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 02:55 PM

It's a miracle!!!

Yes, this morning when I poured out my morning corn flakes I looked into the bowl just before I was gonna put some milk on and there looking up at me was a corn flake that looked just like Jesus, sans the blue eyes!!!

So, I carefully removed it, put it in a little box on some cotton and drove thru Hurricane Hanna down to my bank where it now sits in my safety deposit box...

I know this sounds like just another story but it ain't... It's a new story and I have even better news and that is...

... I am offering it the Mudcat community for a mere $10,000... I know it's prolly worth alot more but what the "hey"...

So folks, here is that opportunity you have all been waiting for... The first ten grand gets Jesus and the box...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:07 PM

Jesus didn't have blue eyes! He had brown eyes. He looked like a fairly typical Middle Eastern person of the time, okay? Slender build, dark hair, brown skin, dark eyes.

If you are so foolish as to imagine that Jesus had blue eyes, how can I trust your judgement on the rest of his appearance when it comes to this cornflake?

Hmmm?

I'm betting that the cornflake you found doesn't really look like Jesus at all, but that it looks more like Randy Savage, "The Macho Man".

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:11 PM

Well according to the pictures, Jesus had a beard. If I found a hairy cornflake on my plate, I'd chuck the whole packet out for the birds.
So I think your Jesus is just for the birds, Bow Bare.

XG

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:12 PM

Glad I ain't you, LH... That is pure blasphomy... Of course Jesus had blue eyes... You ever seen the piccures of him in folks homes??? No, I didn't think so... Man, you better get into church and soon...

BTW, who is this Randy Savage feller??? Would the corn flake be worth ten grand to ya' if it did look like this other feller???

But it looks like Jesus to me...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:14 PM

Well, maybe you and LH can get a package deal in the confession booth, John... You know, a Saturday 2 sins fir the price of one deal...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:17 PM

Is that Two sin Arizona?

JM

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:42 PM

If it looks like Randy Savage I'll give you....

Hmm.

How about 75 cents in Canadian Tire Money?

If it looks like Willy Nelson, I'll give you five bucks for it.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:44 PM

Will you give me five bucks for my willy?

JM

I do hope you say no!

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Megan L
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:45 PM

MacKenzie and LH in the confessional fur heavens aske Bobert whit harm did the kirk dae you eh if it wur some lad jist oot oseminar he wid be grey hieded by the time thone pair finished and fit fur naethin but retirin.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:46 PM

That is so strange.. I had a corn flake that looked like Paris Hilton.... so I ....ate it!

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:48 PM

And, yeah, I've seen those dumb pictures in people's homes...right next to the black velvet paintings of Elvis and those puppies with the big eyes and the dogs playing poker around the table.

They got it all wrong. He had brown eyes and dark hair and he was married to Mary Magdalene too and she weren't no prostitute! Those folks yer talkin' about are plumb deluded, Bobert, and they are engaging in idolatry! If they was to meet the Lord right here and now in the flesh he would say to them, "You never knew me."

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 03:51 PM

I'm hoping for a peach pie that looks like Paris Hilton, but I haven't found one yet.

There is a girl at the local Zellers, though, that looks so much like her that it's scary. Seriously.

Sorry for the digression. It's all GeorgianSilver's fault.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 05:51 PM

So, nothing to say, Bobert? Cracks beginning to show in that outer facade of sublime confidence?

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 06:07 PM

Listen, LH... I knew the chances were real slim that anyone at this joint would pony up with the big dough for Jesus Flake... I just didn't want any weeping and cryin' that I didn't offer it here first before puttin' it on ebay an' gettin' the big bucks...

Plus, yer gonna need all yer dough to buy you outta that crack about Jesus not havin' blue eyes... BTW, they take MasterCard and Visa...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 06:31 PM

Bobert...you're gonna hafta do better than corn flakes when there's serious competition out there.

Even Cheetos are being promoted.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 06:33 PM

Why, I suspect yer plans are ummmm.... toast

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 06:51 PM

Thems ain't nuthin, Bill... You gotta lay yer eyes on my flake!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 06:56 PM

WE want picyoors, Bobes; nothin' else will do.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:00 PM

Bobertz, you are a flake.

Tell ya' what, this stuff is damn good to know! On several occasions I've had turds that looked like the baby Jesus and others that were dead ringers for the Virgin Mary. Matter of fact back on Christmas day of '96 after a monstrous dinner, I shit an entire nativity scene.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:12 PM

A good reason to switch to All Bran.
Scary stuff

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Peace
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:15 PM

When you locate a William Shatner flake (notice the clever juxtaposition), THEN you'll have something worth flogging on E-bay.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:17 PM

With or without the toupee?

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Peace
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:18 PM

With, but hold the lettuce . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:19 PM

Yer all goin ta hell... see yas there. Spose they got a microwave for my miniwheats?

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:26 PM

You ain't shittin' me are ya, Spawzer???

Nevermind about nativity scenes floatin' in yer crapper... That shit don't sell...

You want to make money, Spazer, it's gotta be like, ahhhhh, food... What, you din't get that memo???

Nevermind, part B... You live in Ohio which explains both the nativity scene and why you didn't get the memo...

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:32 PM

Nah, that ain't Jesus, that's Osama bin Laden - you found his hiding place!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 07:33 PM

I like my mini-wheats (brown sugar) nuked to mush with skim milk. Just like mum used to make... but it took her a lot longer and she wasn't always in the same mood as my nukerowave.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:36 PM

There was a dead coyote in the road a week or so back. After being run over by a couple hundred cars and trucks, the flattened remains looked just like Jesus.

Yep, it looked exactly like what Jesus would have looked like if he'd been run over by a couple hundred cars and trucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:40 PM

You are all going to hell!
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:56 PM

C'mon now Sins....Admit it.........You're just saying that while holding out for one of those nativity scenes..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Peace
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 11:16 PM

.....with real critters.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Peace
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 11:21 PM

Were there camels or ostriches?

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Peace
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 11:35 PM

OK, so it's late and nobody wants to deal with the hard questions. I hope there were no ostriches or camels.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 11:45 PM

There was someone running a blog awhile back and insisting that he already is in hell, but it turned out that he's just living in Schenectady.

An understandable mistake, I guess...

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 04:41 AM

Sins, if I went to heaven, I'd be real lonesome.
































All my friends would be downstairs.

XG

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Megan L
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 04:42 AM

I didny ken ye knew that many ministers John

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 05:27 AM

I'd stop and comment on you heathen lot, but it would make me late for church, where Jesus is white, has blonde hair, blue eyes, the cleanest, pinkest feet you ever did see and his Dad is English!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: kendall
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 06:40 AM

I'm not easily offended, but....

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 06:50 AM

Note to self 'Must try harder'

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 12:15 PM

Funny, I thought all those images looked like Mel Gibson.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 12:27 PM

Finally... Can I get an "amen"... Just my point, Bill... Now if we could get that commie, LH, on board...

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 01:38 PM

It was Mary Magdalene who took over the cause after her dark-eyed husband Jesus met his undeserved end on the cross, and if she'd had her way she would have continued teaching reincarnation and equality of gender too, just like he did, but you know what happened?

A bunch of sorry-ass male chauvinist egomaniacs headed up by Peter and Paul took over instead, and their followers grafted the new church directly into the corrupt power structure of the Roman Empire not too long after that, and you see the results today. Horrifying.

I still think that cornflake is probably in the image of either a contemporary wrestler or a country singer. It could be Travis Tritt, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Peace
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 01:42 PM

"You are all going to hell!"

And your point is . . . ?

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 02:14 PM

"...all going to Hell.."


looking for banjo players

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 04:16 PM

Bobert, here's how to tell if it really was Jesus on that corn flake:

You remember that trick Jeezee did with the loaves and fishes? Well, if it gets to be 2016 and you realize that not only have you been eating from the same box of cornflakes since 2008, but that the damned thing's still full, ya got yerself a real live Jesus there, buddy.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 05:46 PM

I'll get back to ya' in 2016, Beezer...

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 09:34 PM

Thanks BeeDub........That explains a lot for me! I was wondering why the shit was so deep around here and I guess it really IS the Baby Jesus I saw in those turds.   The nativity stuff must be real too since my bathroom reeks of frankincense and myrrh........No gold though......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 10:01 PM

The reason you are perceiving the shit being "so deep" is because you forgot to walk the weimaraners again.

My advice? Get a shovel and a gas mask and get to work.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Sep 08 - 10:06 AM

Never mind Spaw "Stercus accidit"

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Becca72
Date: 08 Sep 08 - 10:23 AM

If there is a Hell I'll be there, too. That dog butt pic from Bill D made me laugh out loud. Now my coworkers want to know what's so funny.

Dog is my copilot. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 08 Sep 08 - 11:28 AM

"Sorry for the digression. It's all GeorgianSilver's fault"

I know the bugger and trust me, most things are! :0) :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Sep 08 - 01:56 PM

LOL,,, get back into the flamin' backwoods you yellowbelly!!!!.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 09:42 PM

Latest Jesus sighting

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 11:41 PM

Latest? I posted that one last year....and Becca noted it 4 posts above.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 11:58 PM

LOL

JtS sent it to me and he thought it would be funny if I posted it. I almost started a new thread for it and then decide to put it on an old thread. I never even bothered to read the old thread before adding it. Funny that the shoe should be on the other foot so quickly after the panda video thread. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 09:23 AM

There are more miracles out there than most people ever dream of
   
                            Dean

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 10:02 AM

A few years back, while walking in the woods, I saw a tiny snow flake floating in the air that looked like Jesus (heh-SOOS), a hispanicguy I knew. I caught it, but, it melted before I could show anyone. Made me think: If a Jesus flake fell in the woods, would anybody care? Likely not. And, hard to convince anyone it actually happened.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 05:31 PM

"shoe on the other foot"

well, yes...but I did look.   *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 06:12 PM

Quite frankly, I don't have time to read old threads that I bring up to put something on instead of starting a new thread. But at least I didn't start a new thread for my old joke, and I didn't express astonishment that it hadn't already been posted... *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 07:36 PM

"...I don't have time to read old threads that I bring up to put something on instead of starting a new thread"

Oh, you will when you get old & decrepit like me....

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 10:31 PM

I hope so. It would be murder if I was old and decrepit and as busy as I am now.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 06:19 PM

THE BEST i HAVE EVER SEEN WAS ON bILL mAHRE'S SHOW.

It was the image of Christ in a dog's butt.
dare me to post it and I will.

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 06:24 PM

Post it! Post it! I dare!

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 07:08 PM

LOLOL... I don't think I am as 'old & decrepit' as I thought. This gets better than Panda sneezes....

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: Art Thieme
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 12:13 AM

That's pretty amaize-ing.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 01:01 AM

I definitely saw jesus in the Cheeto -- the toast was really iffy, though

Subject: RE: BS: Jesus Christ Corn Flake!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 06:59 AM

What about the dog butt, Deb?