BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM

I agree with what Jacqui just said. It is difficult to feel lonely with loving family and friends in your life, for that I am truly blessed and hope that everyone else finds the same.

I was talking with my mother in law last week and although she is happy living on her own she can often feel lonely when days can go by without the phone ringing or someone popping round for a cuppa and a chat. I think thats the same for a lot of elderly people. We try to pick up the phone and give her a call to say hi and make sure there isn't anything she needs. We go round for the day once a week too and she looks forward to that as she can't get out as much as she would like and has to rely in others. I think those that are lonely are often those that are forgotten.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Feb 09 - 09:12 AM

I agree that it is sometimes possible to feel lonely in a crowd.

It's difficult to feel lonely with loving family and friends in my life.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 08:58 PM

It is hard to say "I am morose than most" with a straight face.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:55 PM

"What do you do when you feel lonely?"

Well, first I get kinda morose and then I drink and smoke heavily. The more I drink and smoke, the more morose I get. The need to share my loneliness and my growing morosity with others eventually drives me out to some local cheap and sleazy bar, where I sit down and have a few more drinks and smokes. I am usually surrounded by various lowlife types, strangers and casual acquaintances who are mostly in a similar mood to mine. You got yer lowlife Humans, you got yer lowlife Simians, there ain't much to choose between 'em. We start sharin' stories about why we are lonely and morose and comparin' notes, so to speak, and decidin' who is to blame for our morosity. Sooner or later we begin arguin' about somethin' that either don't matter or that we can't change...like politics or religion or interspecies relations. Sooner or later some bozo says somethin' he shouldn't have, and tempers flare. Then the fists, bottles, knives, boots, and chairs begin to fly as I hammer home my point inta somebody's thick skull who shoulda known better than to get lippy with Chongo Chimp.

At that point I am too damn busy just stayin' alive to be lonely anymore.

Problem solved.

- Chongo Chimp

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 04:36 PM

It is not something I have so I don't understand it. I can fulfill my social needs for the day by saying good morning to the bus driver. And I always want to sleep for about five more hours per day so I would do that rather than seek out company...it would be nice to have a place like Cheers though..just drop in and out...mg

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 10:47 AM

HuwG, thanks for the link!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Mickey191
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 10:36 AM

Just recalled: Elvis' howlingly (is that a word?) funny take on "Are you lonesome tonight?"

Luv it!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Maryrrf
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 10:00 AM

What Ron Davies said. When I used to play at Pat Troy's Ireland's Own in Alexandria on Sunday evenings, when Valentine's day rolled around I invited folks to a "My Bloody Valentine" evening where we strove to outdo ourselves with horrific love gone wrong ballads and songs - think "Omie Wise", "Pretty Polly", "Young Hunting" etc. We had a great time!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: HuwG
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 08:21 AM

What do you do when you feel lonely? Well, I go electric, and perform the rest of Clapton's "Layla" I soon have plenty of people complaining about the noise, and a few folkies I know shouting "Judas!"

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 07:29 AM

They say if you learn a song you have a friend for life. So the more songs you learn, the more friends you have. And if you want you can sing songs about miserable people--to indicate to yourself that there are people even worse off than you are. Unhappy love songs--of which there are uncounted numbers--are particularly good for this.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: topical tom
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 05:24 PM

Mudcat and wine usually do the trick.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:54 PM

LOL I am guilty of too many cats.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: maire-aine
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:16 PM

I've lost track of how many times I've thought to myself "there are worse things than being alone". Usually when I've been within earshot of somebody who's being a real jerk.

M

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:16 PM

True, Sins, it is sad, esp. as it involves more than the offender and their side show. Also, so true about how some who live alone are never lonely. My brother is always lonely, always looking outside himself and never finding. He just can't seem to look inside and love himself enough. I have hope for him, though...self-love precedes all else which can be positive in our lives, imo. If we don't have that, like you say, one can try to fill it up with other lovers, children, houses,work, possessions, etc. and still be lonely. All we can do is support the ones they leave in their wake and hope they learn the lessons of self-love.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:48 PM

Not funny, kat. Sad. I have seen this too many times and it usually a sign that the offender is trying to fill an empty, unfillable hole inside themselves.

Funny is the number of people who live alone and yet are rarely if ever lonely.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 02:52 PM

Funny, how some people seem to be lonely while living with someone AND having someone on the side.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 01:26 PM

What do I do when I feel lonely?

I peer into the feeling to see what's in there, and then I decide what to do about it.

Sometimes it means a good, cleansing boo-hoo. Sometimes it means reaching out to the people I know are there in the way I need at that time. Sometimes it's thinking about how to do some things differently so that there will be more people of that sort.

Sometimes it's God calling me and me not knowing how to respond.

Sometimes it's me looking in my own navel too much and I decide to go do something for someone else, keep a promise, do a boring task, learn a new thing, etc.

Sometimes it's an overdue nap or a need for a certain kind of movie.

Sometimes it's a need to exercise, hard and breathlessly.


Or sometimes it's just a need to sing.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 01:20 PM

The choice of being with an ex-partner or being on my own... no contest... she found another she prefers to me... good luck... I hope he has a better time than she gave me. Been on my own for six years and enjoying all the things I do with my time. Loneliness is not really an issue... have loads of acquaintances... a few good friends and a life!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:05 PM

I play some rhythm and blues on a cello.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:23 AM

Pick up a phone and call a relative.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: maire-aine
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:42 AM

If I'm feeling sorry for myself, I vent by writing about it in my journal. Once I get out of me and into the book, I can close the book and get on with something else. I can usually find something to do, whether it's reading or working on a new song or making a pot of soup. There are a few places nearby where I'm kind of a "regular", so I do have places where I can hang out with friends.

M

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: KT
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 10:43 PM

I don't think of Valentine's Day as being for couples, only. I think of it as a day for people who love - acknowledging the fact that they DO love.

If the approaching Valentine's day looms as a day that will be difficult, write a note of love, support, or friendship, to someone in your life that YOU love. You never know how meaningful a few kind words may be for someone else. Don't worry about being on the receiving end.


KT
******************

"Take up the banjo. It is impossible to feel bad while playing the banjo.
You can make others feel bad, but that's their problem."

LOL!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 09:55 PM

I feel loneliest in crowds of people. The solution is to get away to a quiet room or place and decompress.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 08:58 PM

Er...maybe 'dis' your ex sometimes from what I've seen here?

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: GUEST,cookie-less
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:43 PM

Yeh - I was just about to say I didn't really mean this thread to be about Valentines day... it's more about those moments that Bobert mentioned.
But thankyou to all those with helpful suggestions :)

And yes Joe, I'm sorry, I forgot about the guest thing. But you have to admit the Mudcat response to this type of thread isn't always too friendly, hence the anonymity :)

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:19 PM

Ummmm, loneliness is a form of depression that can come upon folks who aren't "alone"...

There are lots of depression threads here to check out for things to do to help you thru these bouts...

The most important thing to keep in mind is that it will pass...

Good luck...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:47 PM

I just reread my post. Let me explain that I do NOT have mountains, deserts, and lava flows in the house. They are outside. My wife does not permit lava flows inside the house, although she will permit chocolate.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:23 PM

Kendall - we have come to an arrangement. I don't send her pink flamingoes and she lets me have her chocolate allowance... :D


Had any pink flamingoes recently? Then it must be time for my allowance!

As for me being lonely... I'm often lonliest when in a crowd of people I know... but if I have my sewing or a book, then I'm easily consoled.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:42 PM

On the subject of gifts.... It is great receiving them at those 'organised' times but don't you think the spontaneous ones are by far the best..... The gifts I didn't expect are those that stick best in my memory.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:40 PM

Plug in my guitar and play LOUD!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:17 PM

I once received a stick. It was very curiously shaped twig that resembled a dog lifting its hind leg to take a leak.

I love that gift.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 03:35 PM

Sainthood is optional, Bubbly, but love, itself, is not. The thing to do when lonely is to go forth into the world and find things --animal, vegetable, mineral, and human--to love.


A

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: kendall
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 02:45 PM

My wife doesn't like chocolate.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 02:30 PM

Well the commercialization is rammed down everyone's throat....they say you have to buy this or do that or he or she will be angry....it will make them happy if you spend a small fortune you dont really have on a necklace, so what if they break up with you the next day and you never see that money again. Isn't it worth making them smile and purchasing their love for that one special night?

And those of us who are left in the dark, alone in our own caverns, feel the stain of loneliness, feel almost as if something is wrong with us because we do not have a partner on valentine's day. Then the next day everything is back to normal, but you have to hear other people telling what they did or what they got for this day...almost like at christmas. However, as the days go by no one cares anymore, and while you still feel lonely you don't feel quite so inadequate, don't feel quite so bad. IN fact you smile inwardly at yourself at the money you just saved.

nt

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 02:14 PM

I have about 6,000 books in house, I don't know how many recordings, mountains, desert, lava flows -- how could I be lonely?

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to do housework
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 02:13 PM

I'm with Sleepy Rosie on this.

I'd far rather have a gift on say, the third Thursday in June, because the giver saw it and immediately thought I'd like it, rather than something on a certain day because the giver thinks I would moan if I received nothing.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 02:06 PM

It is impossible to feel bad while playing the banjo.
You can make others feel bad...

That's not the best combination if it's being lonely that's the problem. But it can be an ideal one when you're a grumpy old sod and just want to cheer yourself up. (Major Bloodknock in the Goon Show knew that!)

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: kendall
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM

The function of music is to free the mind from the tyranny of conscious thought.

Take up the banjo. It is impossible to feel bad while playing the banjo.
You can make others feel bad, but that's their problem.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: gnu
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 01:39 PM

Amos... hahahahaaaa!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:57 PM

a victorian creation - penny dreadfuls given on the 14th of February and then co-opted by the the greeting card companies..

All hail Hallmark. Hallowed be thy ability to make a profit from even the stupidest idea.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: bubblyrat
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:48 PM

We do not have "George's Day"----It is SAINT George's Day

             The Welsh do not go mad on "David's Day,",but they do on SAINT David's Day

The Irish, wherever they may be, celebrate SAINT Patrick's Day

So who is this "Valentine" of modern times?? Could it be,perhaps. SAINT Valentine ??
   
Who,or what,is involved on the "Valentine's" Day of which you write?? Or am I ( or YOU !) missing something here ??

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:35 PM

I call up me wife and explain the situation, and make her dinner and do the dishes.



A

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 11:03 AM

I haven't felt lonely for about 2 and a half years now, but, before when I felt lonely I'd look at photos, read a good book or pick up the phone and chat to a friend.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: GUEST,Ian cookieless
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 09:40 AM

I regularly post as 'Ian cookieless' but I am not the 'cookie-less' originator of this thread. I am single, too, and at times like Valentine's (when, as you say, friends in couples are doing Valentinesy things) I might go and see my aged parents, read a completely absorbing book, go for a long walk somewhere stunning and bracing, go to a folk club ... In other words, occupy your mind so it doesn't wander onto your feelings of being alone on a day meant for couples.

Naughty P.S. I might also think of a past partner where things ended badly and just be glad I don't have to suffer *her* on Valentine's Day!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Mickey191
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 09:17 AM

Thanks Gnu, The Rankins were great!

I am alone with some great memories. Very rarely feel down - music is the elixir that cheers.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:31 AM

I take out the foot pump and blow up a girlfriend...

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Will Fly
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:03 AM

Never feel lonely - too many places to go to make music, play, sing, have a beer, meet people, gigs, concerts to organise. A day or two of peace is usually very welcome!

But if I DO feel lonely, I have two acoustic guitars, one electric guitar, an acoustic bass guitar, a box of blues harps, fiddle, appalachian dulcimer, tenor banjo, mandolin, tenor ukulele, electric violin, keyboard, high whistle in D and - if the worst comes to the worst - I can tap out "Dixie" with two pencils (one held against my mouth and the other tapping it).

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:00 AM

Flush away your cares and woe,
Here I go singing low.
Bye Bye Valentines day... OK so the rhythm isn't quite there but the sentiment is LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 03:48 AM

You could start an anti-valentine day campaign in your area - that might make you some friends.

I used to write vitriolic prose and poetry when I felt lonely, angry, left behind, unconsidered, ignored, etc.

After the mind cramping shite was on the page (toilet paper) where I could investigate it, understand how much it stank, I could then flush it and get on with life, comfortably purged.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you do when you feel lonely?
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 03:04 AM

Had a friend with a step-Dad who would always say to anyone complaining of anything, "Well shit Bub, all you need's a good physic." Personally, I ain't real sure that an enema or a good shit is the solution to most problems but to tell you the truth, I don't know that it ain't either!

Seems like you're looking for reasons to be depressed and in this country we have so many simpleass "holidays" that I can see how you might be lonely......like, what the hell is "Sweetest Day" and why the fock do we need it? Winningest people I know are often alone but never lonely. If you're so insecure within yourself that you need someone around then get a grip. Or go buy a Fleet enema and shove it up your ass.

Now have a laugh and take this message in the spirit it was written. If everyone is elsewhere and not with you, just think of what they're missing.....................unless you really are or truly want to be a whiney titty baby!


Spaw