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BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt...
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Subject: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 09:04 PM Well, they say that God works in mysterious ways so... ...I was packin' up some old stuff today when I came across and ol' match book with an ad on it to learn to speak Egyptian in 30 days with this correspondence course so I figured that this had to be God speakin' to me and He wants me to become the next president of Egypt... So I sent off my $19.95 and soon as I get learned up0 in Eqypt I reckon I'll be on my way to be president and get things all fixed up over there... BTW, I'd like to take some homies with me so if'in anyone out there wants to be part of my Egyptian presidency then let me know... Lotta jobs gonna have to be filled... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Feb 11 - 09:14 PM Do we need to know how to handle guns and tear gas, or will you be giving lessons? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bill D Date: 05 Feb 11 - 09:19 PM $19.95? Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me. But if it all works out, I'll be Curator of the Museum of Sand. (seems like a cushy job) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 09:34 PM Yer on, BIll... You'd be great at it... And, WTH, maybe I can get you mummified... After yer dead, of course... No mummification of live people on my watch.. Nah, f-troupe... We ain't gonna need no guns... Ya' see, I've always had this idea that if people could/would just sit dowen and smoke the peace pipe together that everything would work out so we are gonna have a weekly smoke-in after prayers... No need for guns... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Ed T Date: 05 Feb 11 - 09:47 PM If you get the job, you could easily arrange to have your deceased inflatable lobster put in one of Egypt's pyramids, for future folk to enjoy and speculate about? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 10:05 PM Hmmmmm? Now that one I'm gonna have to leave for the Ministry of Lobsters... I mean, the ol' guy got in trouble fir trying to micro-manage... I don't want to end up like him... You know, being 82 and dying yer hair black... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Feb 11 - 10:45 PM "I've always had this idea that if people could/would just sit dowen and smoke the peace pipe together" So people won't throw stones if they get stoned? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 10:57 PM Yeah, F-troupe... You got it... And... ...glad to know that ya'll upsidedown people know what I mean here... 'Nuff said... Anyone else want jobs in Egypt??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: olddude Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:03 PM My plan for Egypt, get rid of all the rocks so nobody has to walk around with a big knot on their head from getting beaned by one. Everyone in the entire country is walking around with a big white bandage and stitches |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: JohnInKansas Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:10 PM But does Egypt have enough suitable land appropriate for growin' all the wackybacky you'd need for the peace meetings? Looks to me like there's a whole bunch of people wanting to "participate in the decision process" and you're gonna need a lot of weed. That guy 'round the corner that Yer gonna need a "Sec'y of Sumthinculture" with specialized knowledge. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:17 PM Well, Ol'ster... Everything is relative and I been watchin' the rock fights and hearin' about the death totals aan then thinkin', "Hey, these people been at war for 12 days and the death total is less than that of 12 seconds of one man's rage in Tucson, Arizona??? Ya' know, runnin' Egypt ougtta be a piece of cake compared to the good old heavily armed and pissed of America... Nah, this is my dream job and so I am so glad that God has apparently chosen me to lead Egypt... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:27 PM Sheeeet Fire, John!!! Yer da' secatary o' da' weed... I was gonna let my Couzin Rufus have it but he ain't no weeder... I mean, you want some shine then he's the man but weed??? I was worried about that... Glad you have stepped forward... I'm lookin' for some real Kansas "common sense" irrigation so we can grow it in the desert??? I mean, we get it growin' there and, sheet fire, we'll beat out Mubarak's 30 year record!!! Cowabunga!!! B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:32 PM I wanna be Minister for The Yartz! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:35 PM Well??? Okay, but whatz Yartz??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:39 PM The Yartz! Ya know, Music Opera, theatre, all that stuff... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:49 PM Yeah, okay.... We're gonna need to keep all these stoned out people happy... We'll show Osama bin Forgotten a thing 'er two about keepin' Muslim peoples happy... And without no moonshine whiskey??? Man, these people need a buzz... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: olddude Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:54 PM Medical Mary wanna ... that is the solution, and heck bobster, with all the banged up top knots it can be justified ... and heck that will mellow out a few folks ... make it tax deductible also shoot i will vote fer ya |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Neil D Date: 06 Feb 11 - 03:18 AM "But does Egypt have enough suitable land appropriate for growin' all the wackybacky you'd need for the peace meetings?" You have to plant after the annual floods recede. Speaking of which, can I govern the State of da Nile? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Ebbie Date: 06 Feb 11 - 03:20 AM Well, I'd like to be a productive part of your plan, Beaubear, but if I'm going to live there I will need really thick walls on my home to keep out the heat. You got any like that? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 11 - 05:49 AM We could carve blocks of ice off the Antarctic icebergs and build building outta that - should be cool eh? State of Da Nile? - you so far in Da Nile, you in De Mediterranean! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: David C. Carter Date: 06 Feb 11 - 05:57 AM Whacky Backy! What do think those pyramids are made of! And that phinx thing has been sitting there stoned out of its brain for the last 2000 yrs. I think pyramids ought to have windows so we can all take a peek inside. I want to be minister for Double Glazing. I'll get me camel. Mustava Drag |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: gnu Date: 06 Feb 11 - 06:24 AM I would like to head up the Egyptian Embassy here in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada. Of course, I'll need a hefty budget to begin with seeing as I will have to build the embassy and hire staff... I figure $10M will get things off the ground. Send me the $10M so I can start the ball rolling before the spring construction starts and we'll discuss my salary as soon as the cheque clears. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 06 Feb 11 - 07:42 AM The Pyramids??? Thems gonna become a 5 star hotel & conference center with lots of bells and whistles... Of course, Eb will have her living quarters in one... Stays nice and cool in there, Eb... As fir da Nile??? Heck, that thing got mind of it's own, you know, flowing North, but we're gonna just let the sumabich be... No secretary needed there... You, Gnze... Go look in yer mail box... If the check ain't there then it's either on the way or we didn't mail it and I doubt if we mailed it... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 06 Feb 11 - 07:48 AM Bobert you may actually have a shot at this. I bet the only reason Mubarek has stayed on is that no one has offered him a farm. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Noreen Date: 06 Feb 11 - 08:14 AM So it's a job-swap, Bobert, you get the presidency and the 'retiring' Prez gets your farm? Could solve some problems... and create a few more :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: jacqui.c Date: 06 Feb 11 - 08:27 AM I wanna be Minister in charge of Womenz. I reckon I could do that job without any problem. However, I don't smoke so won't be able to join in the smoke-in - can we arrange to have some cookies available for the non-smokers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 06 Feb 11 - 09:21 AM Hmmmmmm??? The ol' swap-a-roo play... I like it... Well, jacqui, if it were up to me you'd be in charge of the Womenz but I has learnt one thing and that no one can keep ya'll happy and behavin' right all the time so... ...hows about Secretary of the Department of Sweets??? I mean, that would encompass cookies... Okay, lemme go talk with the neighbors an' see how'd like their very own retired dictator living back here in the holler... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: jacqui.c Date: 06 Feb 11 - 09:44 AM But Bobert, I've got my very own secret weapon - KENDALL! If those womenz don't behave themselves I'll cut off their hugs with the Cap'n for good. That'll keep them in order, believe me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 06 Feb 11 - 10:04 AM But does the Cap't wanta live in Egypt??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Ed T Date: 06 Feb 11 - 10:05 AM You could change the name of the Suez canal, to whatever you wanted, even the Mudcat canal? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: gnu Date: 06 Feb 11 - 10:15 AM "... can we arrange to have some cookies available for the non-smokers?" Just how long do you think the cookies will last? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: mousethief Date: 06 Feb 11 - 12:26 PM Yes, it's long since time Mubarek bought the farm. I mean Bobert's. I don't want to end up like him... You know, being 82 and dying yer hair black... Wait .. are we talking about Mubarek, or Ronald Reagan? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 06 Feb 11 - 12:37 PM You mean they are different people, mouse??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: mousethief Date: 06 Feb 11 - 02:02 PM You just said Mubarek's 82, and everybody knows today is the 100th anniversary of Ronald Reagan's unfortunate birth. Regan was babysitting Mubarek when the latter was still teething. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: GUEST,999 Date: 06 Feb 11 - 02:12 PM Bobert, When you are the head honcho, please learn from the following list: Hosni Mubarak Saddam Hussein Augusto Pinochet Mobutu Sese Seko Manuel Noriega Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi Fulgencio Batista Ferdinand Marcos Anastasio Debayle Park Chung-hee They are human garbage with whom the US has had friendly relations over the years. The remark that was attributed to FDR--although it has never been confirmed--``He may be a son of a bitch, but he`s our son of a bitch`` makes for cute oratory, but it just ain`t worth the price. The US has lost lots of trust from average people because it supported these dictatorships and subsequently suppressed average people. The rest of us average people really resent that. There is an article in Saturday`s National Post (Canada) that takes a really good look at what I just said--and seeing I took this info from the article . . . I would suggest that your President get off his ass, stop listening to the CIA, State Department and various business interests. And start dealing with relatively honest countries and remember that average people are getting pissed off--all over this world. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: C-flat Date: 06 Feb 11 - 02:42 PM All sounds perfectly reasonable to me Bobert. I'm sure the "Redneck Brotherhood" stands as good as chance as anyone else in bringing peace and good order. Whacky Backy! What do think those pyramids are made of! And that sphinx thing has been sitting there stoned out of its brain for the last 2000 yrs. That Sphinx thing is completely off it's face!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 07 Feb 11 - 08:44 AM Not to worry, ya'll... Ol' hillbilly on top of all this... BTW, I was thinkin' of holding a "Dick-In" for all the local dictators... Yup, gonna tell 'um that we gonna have booze, womens and, ahhhh, party favors (wink, wink) and I'm going to disguise a space ship as a big tent and they gonna all walk in and sho nuff we'll have the food, booze and party favors all around and once the last one is in we'll shut the door, program it for Mars and lite the fuse... Bye-d-bye, ya'll... Write when ya' get work... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Kenny B (inactive) Date: 08 Feb 11 - 07:37 AM The Egyptian government has appealed to the demonstrating masses to all get into their cars tomorrow and gently peep their horns. ..... It is to be a "Toot an calm doon" day ' .......( Ducking for cover)' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: C-flat Date: 08 Feb 11 - 07:43 AM Ouch! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: jacqui.c Date: 08 Feb 11 - 07:49 AM Double ouch! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Stringsinger Date: 08 Feb 11 - 05:36 PM How about exporting the love of democracy from the Pro-Democracy protesters of Egypt and Tunisia to the U.S.? Seems like Obama and Hillary Hawk also have a plan for Egypt. Sulieman to replace Mubarak? Welcome to the new boss, same as the old boss. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 08 Feb 11 - 06:17 PM Yeah, I don't get that one either, Strings... Seems like the old dictator-under-the-shell game... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bill D Date: 08 Feb 11 - 08:24 PM Sulieman keep saying he will NOT take it as a permanent job... **shrug** |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 08 Feb 11 - 08:31 PM Yeah, and I'm the Tooth Fairy... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: GUEST,999 Date: 09 Feb 11 - 03:05 PM Well, Bobert, if you ARE the tooth fairy, you owe me for six teeth I lost in a bad fall about 40 years ago. WITH compound interest. The total is--well, I`ll put it this way: think Fort Knox . . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 11 - 03:44 PM Fort Knox, ya' say, brucie??? Hmmmmm??? Go threatenin' the Tooth Fairy then ya' better have some other teeth you'd like to loose... Tooth Fairy cranky 'n poor these days with all these danged kids expectin' 10 bucks a tooth... Ten bucks a tooth my Tooth Fairy butt... I mean like I ain't gettin' no more for a ton of teeth than I was 20 years ago... I took two truck loads of teeth to sell last week and the gas for the truck cost more than the teeth brought... Fort Knox my butt!!! Grrrrrrr.... T.F. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 11 - 05:08 PM If you needed to transport those teeth across a river, what kind of boat would you use? No fair peeking. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 11 - 05:16 PM Yeah, the teeth ferry... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Plan for Eqypt... From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 11 - 05:49 PM Aw, you peeked. |
