Songs that are so bad they're brilliant

Subject: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Rana
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:09 PM

This idea was prompted by the Worst Song thread.

Can any one think of a folk song (or any song for that manner) in the vein of the film "Plan 9 from Outer Space" or such like - one that is so bad it becomes a classic. In poetry, I suppose, one could have the Tay Bridge Disaster - by McGonegal (spelling?)

Rana

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Paul S
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:16 PM

Are You Drinking With Me Jesus by Mojo Nixon:

Let's take a cab home Jesus
Shit man, we can hoof it from here
I know that you can walk on the water
But can you walk on this much beer

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: emily rain
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:41 PM

oh, dear god that's so awesome!

i mentioned my all-time favorite terrible song on a similar thread once upon a time: engine 143, as sung by sweet little joan baez.

"his face was covered up with blood
his eyes they could not see
and the very last words poor georgie cried
were 'nearer, my god, to thee'"

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:44 PM

One of the greatest of all songs, a song I adore, George Jones' "He Stopped Loving Her Today" is so ridiculous that it is utterly entrancing. You can't help yourself.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 05:38 PM

There's always "Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life" -- does anybody know if it was for real in the first place??

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 05:38 PM

Mason Williams...

"You done stompt on my heart,
You tore that thing apart.
Darlin' you just sorta
Mashed on my aorta.
You started steppin' out with guys
I felt us drift apart
And every step you took,
Was stompt upon my heart."

well, he didn't mean it seriously..it was a joke....still.....

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: sophocleese
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 05:42 PM

I always liked "Nothing" by The Fugs

Monday nothing, Tuesday nothing, Wednesday and Thursday nothing, Friday for a change a little more nothing, Saturday, Sunday nothing...

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Frank Hamilton
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:13 PM

"There's a football game in Heaven, In Heaven's own backyard Where Jesus is the quarterback And Moses playing guard The angels in the bandstand, They all let out a yell When Jesus the quarterback Beats the boys from Hell

Stay with God, Stay with God Rock 'em sock em block 'em Jesus Stay with God.

(Jesus on the five yard line Really doin' God-dam fine Rock 'em sock 'em block 'em Jesus, Stay with God.

I think this one might qualify.

Frank Hamilton

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Joe Offer
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:18 PM

You owe it to yourselves to click on this link: Dropkick Me Jesus. Looks to me like it must be a real song, but I've never heard it. If we're all good, maybe Gene will post a recording at his site for us.
-Joe Offer, suitably inspired-

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:45 PM

Max Boyce used to do a song about a dream where he went to heaven and they were all playing rugby. I think t was called The Devil's Marking Me. I have had a search but can't find it. About the only bits I can remember go (I think).

There was rugby every evening on a field of golden corn And the referee was Gabriel and he blew on his silver horn They tell me we play hell next week in the annual charity I wouldn't mind but I've been told the devils marking me.

Jon

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: emily rain
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:45 PM

oh! there's "why don't you write me" by paul simon, otherwise known as the pathetic desperation anthem:

starts with:

why don't you write me, i'm out in the jungle
i'm hungry to hear you...

and i LOVE the bridge:

sunday monday sittin' in the sun
hopin' and wishin' that mail would come
tuesday
hadn't got a word (mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm)
wednesday thursday ain't no sign
drank a half a bottle of iodine
friday
woe is me i'm gonna hang my body from the highest
treeee-eeeee-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[shrilly] WHY DON'T YOU WRITE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EE-EE?

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: SeanM
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 07:05 PM

Sad to say, "Drop Kick Me Jesus" IS a real song. I remember the old Dr. Demento show playing it on occasion... *shudder*

M

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 07:07 PM

Yep, that's where I heard "Drop kick me," too.

So what's the story on "Fish Heads?"

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: darkriver
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 08:15 PM

Funny you should mention Paul Simon, emily.
Just the other day I was thinking about another Sixties ditty of his-- "The 69th Street Bridge Song", with that unforgettably awful refrain:

Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin
I've come to watch your flowers GROWin
Aincha got no rhymes for me
Mumblety mumble, feelin GROOVY. . . .

I blush for shame thinking of it, and us then.

doug aka darkriver

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: M. Ted (inactive)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 08:30 PM

A fave of mine has always been "I'm just here to get my baby out of Jail", which ends with this enduring image:

"Then this warden he did say, to the lady old and gray, I will bring your darling baby to your side. Two iron gate swung wide apart, she took her haby to her heart. She kissed her darling boy and then she died, but smiling, In the arms of her dear boy and then she died."

Joe Offer, this song seems like something you would like, as well--

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Mat Freeman
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 08:59 PM

Bill, do you recall the album or the song title for that Mason Williams song? I heard that performed once by some guys at college and have wanted for years to track it down. (Didn't John Denver sing it once, or something?)

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: arkie
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 09:13 PM

Drop Kick Me Jesus got a fair amount of play on country radio, though it was not one of Bobby Bear's major hits.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Joe Offer
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 09:31 PM

Yeah, Ted, I have to admit that Gene Graham and Dale Rose got me stuck on those sappy old songs that tell soap opera stories. The sadder they get, the harder I laugh. When I'm around people who take those things seriously, I can get into real trouble.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: MandolinPaul
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 09:56 PM

As long as we're bringing up "religious" tunes, Everybody Needs Somebody by John Prine:

While out sailing on the ocean
While out sailing on the sea
I bumped into the saviour
He said, "Pardon me"
I said, "Jesus, you look tired"
He said, "Jesus! So do you
So won't you sit down son
Because I got some fat to chew

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 11:50 PM

Just for the record, Are You Drinking WIth Me Jesus was written by Lou and Peter Berryman. And Dropkick was written by a Mensa member with his tongue firmly established in his cheek.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Mudjack
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 12:05 AM

Rana,
Plan Nine From Outer Space is a cult classic. I just can't pass up the brag rights. When I was a youngster of 15, I worked in a theatre in So. Calif and the man I worked for was the(one of) associate producer of Plan Nine or Grave Robbers from Outer Space. It was released with two different titles. H. Thomas has a cameo with the other associate producer.They are both the grave diggers in the beginning. I got a personal showing of that film on the big screen. His son sit next to me and laughed until he cried and I felt embarassed for my boss. It goes to show you some people have a knack for spotting farce humor and then there was me, who just did'nt get it till it was awarded the lifetime achievement for being the world's worst movie ever made. Mr Thomas always laughed about it as well.There was some really interesting sidelines about the making that I'll always treasure.
Plastic Jesus came to mind as a really bad song, but Paul Newman did a fine job singing it, but then I liked Plan Nine From Outer Space.My Gawd.. I need help.....
Mudjack

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: DonMeixner
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 12:55 AM

I'd have to vote for " The Cowboy Brakeman" ....He killed a hundred passengers but thank God he saved the child.....

"Mother The Queen of My Heart" by Jimmie Rodgers ... She said son son't start drinkin and gamblin, swear that you'll always go straight...

"Heavenly HouseBoat Blues" by Townes Van Zandt.....They are building a house boat in heaven, to on God's deep and holy seas....

another endless list I'm afraid.

Don

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 03:43 AM

I think most of the songs that fit into this category were written by tongue-in-cheek geniuses. Then there's surf songs, girl group songs, and dead teenager songs. In the 60's, I was too much of an "intellectual" to appreciate that music. as time has gone on, I've learned there's a lot of fun in music like that. "Dead Man's Curve," "Leader of the Pack," and "Tell Laura I Love Her" are good examples of dead teenager songs. How 'bout Lesley Gore's "It's My Party" and its sequel, "Judy's Turn to Cry"? I used to thing "My Boyfriend's Back" was SO dumb, but now I think it's fun. "Surf City" and "409" and "Little Old Lady from Pasadena" are more clever than they seem at first, I think. Yeah, they all follow a formula, but they're sure a lot of fun.
We sang "Those Were the Days, My Friend" tonight and really hammed it up. We laughed so hard we couldn't get through the song.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: bob schwarer
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 06:50 AM

"Twenty Naked Pentacostals in a Pontiac" (my favorite)
"Five Pounds of Possum" (my favorite)
"Ain't Florida Grand(Great?)"

More coming when I wake up. Bob S.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: kendall
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:04 AM

I reaLLY RESENT SEEING " those were the days" in this list. That is a great song for anyone over 40. Perhaps when you grow up you will learn to appreciate it.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Rana
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:17 AM

One song which I heard performed live by Mary Knickle won the Ian Robb - Dave Parry Sentimental Song Contest sponsored by Mariposa (held almost annually in Toronto)some years ago - was called "I've been sqeezed through the Garlic Press of life". The refrain was brilliant, unfortunately I can't remember it.

Rana

PS: Mudjack - thanks for telling us about Plan 9 - you probably didn't realise it was going to become the cult classic.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Cara
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:46 AM

How about "The erfect Country and Western Song"

I was drunk the day my momma got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
but before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got runned over by a damned old train...

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Peter T.
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:52 AM

Plan 9 is good, but "Glen or Glenda" is the true masterpiece. The famous sweater renunciation scene may well be the greatest 45 seconds of celluloid ever. The first time I saw Glen or Glenda in a movie theater I became physically hysterical, and couldn't stay to the end, and missed the sweater scene. Later, when I came for the second show, I finally got to witness the full unfolding of the creator's genius. I have seen it dozens of times, and it remains an awesome testimony to the complete weirdness possible in the human mind.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: SeanM
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 01:13 PM

Somehow, when I first saw this thread, I had a feeling that Ed Wood would rear his head at some point...

Not too long ago I used to work at a video store. Shortly after I arrived, a "remastered" version of Plan 9 was released.

I took great joy in making sure as many people as possible rented this film. Oddly enough, reaction was mostly favorable.

M

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 05:27 PM

"We Need a Whole Lot More of Jesus (And a Lot Less Rock and Roll)"--probably not written as a parody, but could have been. "Okie from Muskogee," supposedly written as a parody but got taken seriously, even by its writer, Merl Haggard (for whom it made a mint--and a career [for which I'm thankful; the guy can flat out sing]). And of course "OfM" is now probably played more as parody than straight.

--seed

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 06:30 PM

Seed, I can assure you that when Wayne Raney sang "A whole lot More of Jesus..." in the 50s he MEANT it. Now I leared it from the Greenbriar Boys. As to their motives....well.

Rick

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 06:49 PM

Mat...the Mason Williams thing was, I believe, on "The Mason Williams Listening Matter"...(I have 2 Mason Williams albums down in the catacombs, and have not gone & dug...)will check on it sometime if you need more info....

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 06:55 PM

Seed, remember the long-hair response to "Okie"? I think it was called "I'm Proud to be a Hippie from Olimo" or something like that, might have been by Arlo? Class? Anyone? Bueller?

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 07:06 PM

Actually, "I'm glad to be an A**H*** from El Paso"

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: WyoWoman
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 07:11 PM

Bob S. -- Where, oh where, can I learn "Twenty Naked Pentecostals in a Pontiac?" This sounds like my kind of song.

WyoWoman

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:18 PM

Anything by Queen is pretty terrible, but their crowning achievement was

I see a little silhouette-o of a man
Scaramouche-Scaramouche- Can you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolt and Lightning, very very frightening me!
Oh Galileo,Galileo,Galileo let him go!
LET HIM GOMISS MILLER(she will not let him go)
Be-el-ze-bub has a Devil put aside for ME..for ME..for MEEEEEE

Completely ridiculous, yet fascinating

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Lyle
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:24 PM

Joe Offer said about Drop Kick Me Jesus, "Looks to me like it must be a real song, ..." and it is: It was a *hit* single for Bobby Bare (can't remember the year) and was on this album later. Check Song #14.

Bobby Bare - All American Boy-21 Greatest Hits 1994

TRACKS

0 1. All American Boy 0 2. Shame On Me 0 3. Detroit City 0 4. 500 Miles Away From Home 0 5. Miller's Cave 0 6. Four Strong Winds 0 7. Streets Of Baltimore 0 8. Game Of Triangles 0 9. (Margie's At) The Lincoln 10. Come Sundown 11. Please Don't Tell Me How 12 Ride Me Down Easy 13. Marie Laveau 14. Drop Kick Me, Jesus 15. Numbers 16. Tequila Sheila 17. He Was A Friend Of Mine 18. When I'm Gone 19. To Whom It May Concern 20. I Don't Believe I'll Fall 21. Bye Bye Lov

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:32 PM

I have the album it first appeared on, "'The Winner' and Other Losers." And Bobby Bare is definitely too smart to have had anything but parody in mind when he wrote it. That's what made it so funny when Monday Night Football adopted it--as if no one would be offended by the parody.

And Leej, it was "Hippie from Olema," a little town in Marin county, and it was a California group that did it, someone like "New Riders of the Purple Sage" or "The Doobie Brothers"--like them, but probably not them.

--seed

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Michael K.
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:57 PM

I was surfing a couple of MP3 sites last night, and came across something that made me laugh out loud and at the same time, sort of blew me away.

A band called ''KLEZMER 2000'' had MP3 samples posted from their new album. We're talking about Israeli/Middle Eastern Music, with an acid jazz kind of a groove/production!!!!!!

I figure if the masses can accept RAP (which makes my skin crawl and sends me running for nitro glycerine tablets) they can handle Klesmer 2000.

Go to CD Now, search for them, and listen. See if their stuff qualifies for this thread. (I'm sure that some will most definitely think so.)

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From:
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 12:21 AM

I heard a song on a public radio folk show that I wish I'd taped. It was exactly the kind of stupid political folk song I hate. All I remember is the refrain:

(righteously) "They didn't listen to Anita Hill, But she told the truth any-way."

Looking forward,

Elaine DiMasi ([e-mail])

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 12:53 AM

Damn, Seed, if you are not a veritable font of information!

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 01:36 AM

I don't know about the "veritable" part of it, Leej: I'm wrong about half the time. --seed

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: bob schwarer
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 03:43 PM

WyoWoman:
There was a thread on "20 Naked Pentacostals....." abit ago(last April). Do a search for "Pentacostals" and it should pop up. I posted the lyric near the end of the thread after I found the CD.

Bob S.

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: M. Ted (inactive)
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 04:48 PM

"Hippie from Olema" was recorded by the Youngbloods, about 1970--My recollection is that it was written by someone other than the band members, but I can't find the record I have of it--I did send off an e-mail to the Jesse Colin Young website (he seems to own a coffee plantation in Hawaii!) to ask him about it, so maybe he will reply--

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Bert
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 10:03 AM

This is a song that never ends.................

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Dan Evergreen
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 10:36 AM

Hey this is easy: "I'm Gonna Get a Wine-o to Decorate Our Home." "I'm gonna get a wine-o to decorate our home, So you'll feel more at home here, And you won't have to roam; Take out the dinning room table, Put a bar along that wall, And a neon light to show the way To the bathroom down the hall." How totally dumb. How totally clever."

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Davey
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:00 PM

I think it was Kitty Wells that sang "I Gave My Wedding Dress Away" which tells of how she looked after her little sister since her mother died, and always gave her whatever she wanted, including, we find out, the man she was going to marry.
Eve Goldberg sings it here in Toronto, and it won second prize in the aforementioned Sentimental Song contest...

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Bert
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 02:29 PM

Everybody must get stoned

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: lamarca
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 05:32 PM

"I'm proud to be a hippy from Olema
Where we're friends with all the squares and all the straights
We still take in strangers if they're Haggard
And we can't think of anyone to hate..."

Yep, it was the Youngbloods, but I don't know who actually wrote it...

How 'bout the hymn with the second verse that starts :
"By the light of burning martyrs..."

Subject: RE: Song that's so bad it's brilliant
From: Harold
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:11 PM

How about: "I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed while I cried over you." I remember hearing this on a "Cowboy Radio program" many years ago. If someone remembers the words or can point me in the right direction, I'd appreciate it.

Here's to good bad songs.