Worst Song?

Subject: Worst Song?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 01:44 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/04/19/eye.ent.worstsong/index.html

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: woodsie
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 01:59 PM

Down Along The Cove, on Dylan's John Wesley Harding - What is this throwaway 12 bar doing on an album otherwise packed with Zimmo's finest?

Also:
Streets Of London
Imagine
Anything by Supertramp
Anything by David Gray

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 02:05 PM

If you set the Filter to worst and the Age dropdown to All you'll find several previous threads on suggestions for various types of worst songs!

Mick

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Danks
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 03:15 PM

"Streets of London" - worst song!!! What criteria are you using?

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 03:37 PM

Criteria?

It comes out of someone's mouth and goes into someone elses ear. It realy is a personal thing. If you feel the need to leave the room then it cannot be too good.

I find stuff on the country end of Irish a bit room clearing and anything by the Kings Singers.

But to name a song? Sorry alcihol had set in and judgement has gone. I wiil return.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Maryrrf
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 03:42 PM

There's nothing wrong with "Streets of London" except that it's been done to death. I liked it the first 10 or 20 times I heard it. I think it was a victim of its own success. I certainly wouldn't put it on any "worst song" list.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 03:53 PM

I think the Wild Rover but as Mick Pearce says thread has been done before.
Scooby

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 04:07 PM

Scooby

You should hear Eddy Richards' version of the Wild Rover....

Kitty

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: mandotim
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 04:16 PM

Bit on the Side do the Wild Rover to the tune of Streets of London. Get's 'em over with all at once...
Tim from Bit on the Side

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: ard mhacha
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 04:59 PM

That bloody awful Unicorn song.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: bobad
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 05:05 PM

"That bloody awful Unicorn song."

Have you heard the version as performed by it's writer Shel Silverstein - not nearly as annoying as that by the Irish Rovers.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 05:05 PM

Ard mahacha - if you mean Bill Caddick's song, it's fine when performed by Bill Caddick.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 05:07 PM

Third time I mentioned it here in the Mudcat .... "Green, Green, Grass of Home" .. by Tom Jones, or by anyone as a matter of fact.

sIx

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,Penguin Egg
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 05:49 PM

That Bucks Fizz thing that won the Eurovision Contest. Save your Kisses For me, I think it was called.
Congratulations by Cliff Richard.
And since Lennon's Imagine has already been nominated, how about Jealous Guy?

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Crane Driver
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 05:58 PM

Very much a subjective thing. One man's meat is another man's two-veg, and all that. And there's a world of difference between bad songs and songs I don't like - there are songs I can recognise as good even though I can't stand them, and songs I really quite like even though I accept they're not very good as songs.

And I'm sure there are people out there who love all the songs put forward here as examples of the worst. People differ. Learn to live with it.

Andrew

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,obie
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 06:09 PM

Very subjective except for "Achey Breaky Heart". That is without doubt #1 on the all time shitlist! It was also #1 on the hit parade forever and a day. Go figure....................

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Hawker
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 06:33 PM

I have heard goods songs sung badly but not as many bad songs! In fact I cannot think of one offhand though i know there are songs I don't particularly like, usually because i have heard someone murdering them! Its a bit like the person you particularly didn't like at school putting you off their name!
sometimes I wonder if we should tell the murderers but usually I just say a prayer that they will improve with practise!
Cheers Lucy

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,Obie
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 07:10 PM

Anyone will improve with practice, Lucy. I have heard many singers sound terrible at first. It is hard to hit the notes when you lack confidence, and experience also teaches us the importance of choosing suitable keys. Strange as it may seem, if they keep at it they often improve to a more than acceptable point. However, the thread refers to songs rather than singers. If the song is a piece of crap then improvement may be hard to gain.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,Padre - Still working on his cookie
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 07:12 PM

Subjective - The theme from 'Billy Jack" (One Tin Soldier)

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 09:35 PM

Inasmuch as the total number of copyrighted songs must, by now, be on the order of 10^7, it would be rash to take the question literally. However, among the songs that are sung at sings I go to, there is one that stands out as being so embarrassing that it forces me to come up with some business in another room. It is called "Harriet Tubman". It contains not a single good line. It contains no information about its ostensible subject. Its imagery is unimaginable. It sets my teeth on edge. I think there is an element of bullying in writing a song that bad about an admirable subject. Giggle, and you're a racist, must be the idea.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: If you disagree with a prescriptivist, you are a slob; if you disagree with a descriptivist, you are an idiot. :||

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Kaleea
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 10:55 PM

it don't git much worse than:
Muscrat Love

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 10:57 PM

We've been through this so many times...but why not again then?

Sylvia's Mother
Havin' My Baby
I've Never Been to Me
You and Me Against the World


Most of the stuff Rod Steward recorded, but not all of it...

Most of the stuff Whitney Houston belted out at extreme decibels.

And then....there's Rap.   EEEEEEEEEE-YAUUUUUUGH! That was BAAAAAD!

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 10:58 PM

By the way, I think "Afternoon Delight" is really neat musically, an and entirely inoffensive lyrically. I liked most of the stuff the Starland Vocal Band did.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 11:00 PM

"Honey" is indeed an extremely strong contender for that coveted position.

Another I'd suggest would be "My Baby Does the Hanky Panky"--the vast majority of which consists of the title.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 11:03 PM

I also like both Green Green Grass of Home and Afternoon Delight--the latter probably because of very good associations with it. It does tend to color your view.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 01:24 AM

'The Lightning Express ' by the Everleys, I still cringe, then throw up.

eric

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Eye Lander
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 02:19 AM

Here on the Isle of Wight we have a version of Wild Rover to the Banana Boat Song, and I still like the original.

Jillie

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 02:35 AM

My Way

DC

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Bert
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 02:55 AM

'Seasons in the Sun' has to be in the running somewhere.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,Jackie Paper
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:44 AM

Puff the Magic Dragon makes my teeth curl.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Danks
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 05:59 AM

Back to "Streets of London". Critics are expected to give reasons for their opinions, otherwise, why bother! Now, we can criticise a song for various reasons: 1st. melody, 2nd. lyrics , 3rd theme of the lyrics. We can't criticise a song because we don't like the production of the recording, or the singers voice. Now, I would argue that the melody of "Streets" is fine and suits the lyrics. I would say that the lyrics have been well constructed with lovely little touches. And, finally, the theme is very strong - and original; indeed, the message of the song became more relevant as the years past by.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Aaron Aardvark
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 06:25 AM

"Born to be Alive" by Patrick Hernandez always makes me vomit and s**t simultaneously (I've just had to run to the bathroom thinking about it). MacArthur Park is a close second with Seasons in the Sun also there.

Aaron

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 07:44 AM

Sorry I must have missed Bill Caddicks version of that song, is that the one were Puff the magic dragon rapes the Unicorn.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 11:43 AM

AND, counting down to #1..........SCARLET RIBBONS!

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 11:45 AM

#2 was YELLOW BIRD, by the way.....the worst bastardization ever perpetrated. It travesties a terrific song, one of the most beautiful in the world: the Haitian "Choucoune."

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,maire-aine
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 11:50 AM

Sonny's Dream. Yuck!

Maryanne

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 01:56 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/21/worst.songs.comments/index.html

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Mr Fox
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:03 PM

'Imagine' - Dreary glurge with a tune that would disgrace a funeral march.

'All Around My Hat' - 'nuff said.

'Day Trip to Bangor' - Almost killed English folk music stone dead.

'The Mary Ellen Carter' - Doesn't rhyme, doesn't scan, barely makes sense.

'Unicorns' (Shel Silverstein, not Bill Caddick) - Truly vomitous.

'Fields of Athenry' - Once again, 'nuff said.

Outside folk (Or indeed, any form of) music: - 'My Heart Will Go On'. Reverse perestalisis guaranteed.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:18 PM

LH-

Sylvia's Mother?


Them's fighting words!

Subject: ADDPOP: I Am...I Said (Neil Diamond)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:18 PM

Well, I think I'd vote for Neil Diamond's Play Me as the Worst Song in the Digital Tradition. I think that Dick Greenhaus, for whom I usually have the highest respect, was thinking Truly Evil Thoughts when he included that one in the database. Even worse is Neil's "I Am...I Said," which I couldn't find posted or in the DT. Could it be that nobody has posted that sappy masterpiece here?
-Joe Offer, throwing his head back to howl-

---

I AM... I SAID

Written by Neil Diamond

L.A.'s fine, the sun shines most the time
And the feeling is 'lay back'
Palm trees grow, and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin' about
Making my way back

Well I'm New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home
New York's home, but it ain't mine no more

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried

"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
I you talk about me, the story's the same one

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried, but it won't let me go
And I'm not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared for the sound of being alone

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

1971 Prophet Music, Inc. (ASCAP)

Posted as a Public Disservice, Copied from http://www.neildiamondhomepage.com/lyricpag.htm, where you can find all of them. I found a page that described Neil as the "Rodney Dangerfield of pop music." I can see the wisdom of that description....

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:24 PM

Neil is right up there all right. But can he match Paul Anka? I think Paul edges him out by a hair or two, if not by a nose.

So you like "Sylvia's Mother", BB? Well, I guess that explains how you could write all those sonnets too... ;-)

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:42 PM

If you've ever been to Disneyland, you certainly know there is no worse musical experience than "It's a Small World"--but the Doors "Light My Fire" comes close: it has probably the most inane lyrics ever written (oh, there's always the Everly's "When"--"When...when you smile...when you smile at me...then...then...then I know...our love will always be..." Hasten, Jason, bring the basin.

"The Green, Green Grass of Home" performed by Tom Jones is right up (down) there, but by Johnny Cash it's worth keeping.

--seed

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,Bearing the scar
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 04:00 PM

Am I the only one who grew to hate 'THE BIRDIE SONG' as one of the greatest musical vilenesses since time began!!

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 04:18 PM

Here's a contender...

Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh

Never bite a married woman on the thigh oh my
Cause she just can't rub it off no matter how she'll try
And when she gets home at night her man will ask her why
Then she'll say it's just a birthmark or some other silly lie
But he'll get suspicious and then he will start to pry
Then she'll get hysterical and she will start to cry
And he'll say I don't blame you but tell me who's the guy
So she'll admit to everything and he will say bye-bye
And he'll buy an airline ticket and he'll fly across the sky
And then he'll come and find you and he'll punch you in the eye
Then he'll rent a cheap hotel room and he'll hang himself with his tie
And when she gets the news she'll take an overdose of sleeping
Tablets and she's gonna lie on the couch and die
So never never never never never never never bite a married woman on the thigh

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 04:23 PM

How about


Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a gypsy queen,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle all dressed in green,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle 'til the moon is blue,
Wiggle 'til the moon sees you.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle in your boots and shoes,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, you got nothing to lose,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, like a swarm of bees,
Wiggle on your hands and knees.

Bridge #1:
Wiggle to the front, wiggle to the rear,
Wiggle 'til you wiggle right out of here,
Wiggle 'til it opens, wiggle 'til it shuts,
Wiggle 'til it bites, wiggle 'til it cuts.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead,
Wiggle - you can raise the dead.

Bridge #2:
Wiggle 'til you're high, wiggle 'til you're higher,
Wiggle 'til you vomit fire,
Wiggle 'til it whispers, wiggle 'til it hums,
Wiggle 'til it answers, wiggle 'til it comes.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like satin and silk,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a pail of milk,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, rattle and shake,
Wiggle like a big fat snake.

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 04:33 PM

Or



Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Whatever colors you have in your mind
I'll show them to you and you'll see them shine

Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Stay, lady, stay, stay with your man awhile
Until the break of day, let me see you make him smile
His clothes are dirty but his hands are clean
And you're the best thing that he's ever seen

Stay, lady, stay, stay with your man awhile
Why wait any longer for the world to begin
You can have your cake and eat it too
Why wait any longer for the one you love
When he's standing in front of you

Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Stay, lady, stay, stay while the night is still ahead
I long to see you in the morning light
I long to reach for you in the night
Stay, lady, stay, stay while the night is still ahead

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 05:50 PM

I'd like to vote for (or possibly against):

'The Streets of London'
'The Streets of Athenry'
'Imagine'

The latter isn't, of course, a folk song - but then neither are the other two!

Oh yes, and let's not forget 'The Constant Lovers' -

"Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh my love is gone ..."

"Yes and you can piss off as well!!!"

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 06:13 PM

I agree about Wiggle Wiggle, BB. Lay Lady Lay, however, has a certain rustic charm and warmth, given the fact that it was written in regards to and very much in the mood of his happy marriage with Sara at the time (1967 or '68).

Interestingly enough, though, Bob Dylan did not think it was a very good song and in his own words "begged and pleaded" for the record company NOT to release it as a single. They did and it was a hit.

Another possibility for WORST song: "Feelings"

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 06:17 PM

Ugliest Girl In The World

The woman that I love she got a hook in her nose
her eyebrows meet, she wears second hand clothes
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I don't know why I love her but I just can't stop

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

If I ever lose her I will go insane
I go half crazy when she calls my name
When she says babababababy I l-l-love you
There ain't nothing in the world that I wouldn't do

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

The woman that I love she got two flat feet
Her knees knock together walking down the street
She cracks her knuckles and she snores in bed
She ain't much to look at but like I said

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

I don't mean to say that she got nothing goin'
She got a weird sense of humor that's all her own
When I get low she sets me on my feet
Got a five inch smile but her breath is sweet

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

The woman that I love she a got a prizefighter nose
Cauliflower ears and a run in her hose
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I don't know why I love her but I just can't stop

(written by Bob Dylan and Robert Hunter)

Subject: RE: Worst Song?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 06:42 PM

Well, Danks, you make a good case in support of "Streets of London", but I have to admit that when I saw the title of this thread, that was the first song that came to my mind!

Yes, the lyrics are arguably meaningful. However, for me the melody's rather wet and the whole thing smacks of that mid-Atlantic soft pop-rock that flourished during and slightly after the sixties. And why do people keep singing the bloody thing? (Actually, I must admit that of late it seems, in some places at least, to have joined, thankfully, that list of songs that are considered beyond the pale.)