BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Mar 13 - 09:28 PM

Good work, ranger1!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 11:10 PM

Hugs and greetings delivered, driveway successfully navigated, dog reminded that chasing turkeys no in his best interest, and a lovely visit with two of my favorite people.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 11:46 AM

Silly, silly woman! From the VNA. I TOLD her to stay away from the right hand side of the driveway, but that's the side she chose to walk on. And then was surprised when there was no bottom and she almost lost her shoe (and got her stockings very wet). Ach!

I guided her out where the driveway is a LOT firmer!

Tami, I KNOW you'll be smart enough to not only listen to me, but to SEE where the most mud is.

Ah, well. The stitches are out. (Five; didn't know before.)

Gotta head out to a meeting in Portsmouth.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: maeve
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 09:50 AM

Ranger1- Kindly give a big hug each to Linn and Tom. Linn and Tom- kindly do the same for ranger1.

TooFarForHugs Maeve

John- Those legs may be little but goodness they work hard for friends in need! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 09:33 AM

Fine on foot. Avoid the mire on the right where it starts to level off -- walk over the hostas. I just don't like tire tracks over them!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 09:29 AM

Yes, little legs and deep mire, do not mix ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 08:56 AM

Promise me that Dog and I won't disappear into the quagmire...

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 08:21 AM

Mud does seriously suck...literally!

Since things are still frozen in the morning, I just moved my car further up the driveway so I KNOW I'll be able to get to an important appointment mid-day.

Ranger1 is visiting late this afternoon -- she'll be walking down the driveway...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 07:25 AM

Spring will come soon. The snow will go. Things WILL improve.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 13 - 06:17 AM

Sucks big time! Hang tough.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 05:52 PM

I know you do. Our area is nearly as sparse, which is why I thought you might have what we have.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 08:52 AM

W y s i w y G, we're too spread out, here in NH (except in the cities). Here in Nottingham, we're at least twenty miles from everywhere. That service is only offered in a couple cities.

Besides, the problem right now is the driveway -- ice, mud and constantly changing conditions. So far I haven't had any serious problems with the driveway -- I've got an AWD Subaru. But I might have to park the car up above the mud zone -- and that's way too far for Tom to walk. Tom's not walking anywhere near as well as he was earlier this year. He's still fighting the cellulitis on his left foot, the undiagnosed neuropathy (caused by bad circulation, not diabetes), and weakness from two weeks of inactivity.

By the way, The Press Room is also out right now for Tom because of the condition of Portsmouth sidewalks and streets. Friday afternoon I couldn't climb over the snow from the car to the sidewalk; had to walk in the street to where the Press Room had shovelled a decent path. Tom could not have gotten to the sidewalk that way. I don't think he would have had a much better time even at the corner. Until the snow is GONE, Tom's out of luck.

I have to weigh the desire or necessity of getting Tom to and from the car with the risks. It's very exhausting...for him and for me!

Believe me, I know what services are available!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 07:01 AM

So glad you got to get out, be with good friends, and SING! Hang in there, Spring is coming!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 02:34 AM

I am glad that you were able to get out to the session. It sounds like a good thing for you to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 10:03 PM

Linn, does your county's Area Agency on Aging (or your state's counterpart) offer medi-bus service for patients from home to appointments, where the driver comes and loads the patient? His doctor will know how to make a referral if it is available....

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 09:22 PM

Every little bit of TLC you can work in is therapeutic!

No snow here, but we're under a layer of pollen. That's right - when the snow goes away, here comes allergy season. I hope it doesn't bother either of you!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 08:01 PM

Since, with the conditions in our driveway changing by the hour (ice, melting, mud, snow, more ice), Tom may not be able to safely get out of the house until June. I certainly hope I'm exaggerating because he has a doctor's appointment next Friday when I can talk to the doc about the possibility that Tom's foot pain is neuropathy caused by his really poor circulation. But on Monday, the visiting nurse (who came today to change the dressing on his ankle wound) will take out the stitches in hiis head gash because I can't safely get him to Lee Walk-In.

I'm really sick of winter.

Last night because I REALLY needed the R&R and to get out of the house, I went to The Press Room session. Last week didn't count; it's been over a month. Sat in Tom's chair, got four songs in and two Guinnesses. Did some socializing (and got to see waitress Ari who left the PR a few weeks ago for a job where she can get home by 9 p.m.!) and collected some very needed hugs. Good conversation, wonderful music (hadn't sung in over a month), great friends. Stayed a little longer than I'd intended, but left about an hour before the end of the session. (I was there for four hours.)

Brought home some egg foo yung for supper.

I REALLY needed to spend time with someone other than Tom and medical people!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 09:49 AM

We got a foot of snow. I've got the bare minimum (door area over to back of deck and over to steps) of the deck cleared plus the steps and a path to where it was plowed yesterday.

Have to take trash to the road (on foot -- 225' uphill) and a shovel up to my car. Probably won't bring it down to the house until my plow guy cleans up the driveway. (He did a pass yesterday, but it was still snowing when I got up this morning.) I've got to bring the blinds from the car into the house so they can get put up this afternoon and Tom will no longer have to fight the glare from the windows next to the table.

As it is, I'm not sure Tom is going to be able to safely leave the house until June...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 09:26 AM

Six classes an hour and a half each on Tuesday mornings. Tom can be alone for such a short period of time. They DO offer respite care, though, if it's needed.

If it ever fucking stops snowing! Today's Tuesday...and we've got at least six inches of miserable white stuff out there and it's still snowing. Supposed to snow all day. THAT'S what I need respite from!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 04:25 AM

how will you find time to do the course?

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 09:42 PM

What gnu said.

Also, I'm sorry you had to do battle with your car on top of everything else.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 07:18 PM

I hope the course helps you both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 06:38 PM

Oh, yeah...AND I signed up for six weekly 1-1/2 hour classes on "Powerful Tools for Caregivers"...how to reduce stress, better communicate, balance my life, increase my ability to make tough decisions and locate helpful resources.

First one is April 9th.

Looking forward to them.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 06:21 PM

If it's not one thing, it's another...

Late morning and early afternoon was taken up with visiting nurse and physical therapist. After everyone left, I made lunch and then intended to head out to do some errands before it starts to snow again (later tonight and all day tomorrow).

Car said, uh uh. I hadn't driven it since we got home from the hospital just before midnight on Friday. I was frozen deep in a coupla three inches of ice. Stuck kitty litter fore and aft all the tires, tried backing, tried forward in 1st...nada. Littered everything once more and tried again. No go. A friend came over to schedule some plumbing, gave me a look like "Girl driver..." and tried. Vindicated. He couldn't get it out of the ice either.

So I called a neighbor with a truck and a length of chain and he got me right out.

So I picked up Tom's prescription, got some groceries and white wine and picked up some miscellaneous stuff at the drug store to help make Tom's life a little more pain free and help his foot heal.

Oh, I took notes last night before Tom went to bed when he was reminiscing about when he met our friend who passed away Saturday night. Even though they were both working and performing in Boston in the '60s, Tom didn't meet him then, but later through some other friends which led into where he first met various people, the different music communities in Boston in the '60s, and stuff like that. Should have gotten the notes transcribed today, but didn't. Mañana...if we don't lose power.

Linn

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 09:09 AM

I started regularly reading aloud to Tom in the evening after his heart surgery in 2004. I mean, books rather than the usual (for as long as we've been together) good lines or interesting bits from what I'm reading. (You know, those things you just HAVE to read aloud even if there's only a cat in the room...)

That was a long time before his vision started going south. Reading aloud was a way, too, of reading the same book at the same time -- such as the Harry Potters as they came out.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 12:57 PM

thanks, linn. i knew he couldn't see, but what you posted helps to visualise his and your day. i hope you do talk him into coming on mudcat and WRITE, the tw of you. that is exciting!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 10:31 AM

Alas, Kat, Tom can't SEE well enough to do much at the computer. I read things to him and handle his email (with him at my shoulder for replies). I think I need to spend more time with him here at Mudcat and nudge him to post more often. I can read for him, I can type.

Tom's in really good spirits despite everything -- including the fact that it's a couple days past a year since he broke his ankle and he's still living downstairs (in other words, not in our bedroom) and life is still not back to whatever passed for normal before that.

Mostly he likes to listen to NHPR when not on the phone with a friend or entertaining visitors (which we really need to do more often). I also read aloud to him. (Right now we're reading "A Cordiall Water" by M.F.K. Fisher.)

And I've been trying to get some sort of a routine hammered out where we can do some writing together -- we make an incredible team. Tom's debate background means he's exceptionally good at outlining and organizing a written piece. But he has a tendency towards verbosity and the passive voice, so after he's blocked it out, I go in and edit and punch it up to be more effective. One plus one equals five.

Later today we'll post an obituary for our old friend Ted Scourtis who passed away last night.

And I've been trying to get him to teach me his "Anglo-Saxon crash thud" style of guitar playing. Actually, completely reteaching me guitar since it's been so long since I've played (and I never was any better than a minimal accompanist to my singing).

And, even if I have to dig out the whip, he IS going to wrap his brain around playing concertina and finding his key without looking at the buttons.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 10:25 AM

!!!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 06:27 AM

Oh, honey, somehow I missed this. Sending even more love!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 11:13 PM

It's nice to know that he was finally sent home instead of being admitted. What a shame that you both had to go through another ordeal.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 10:02 PM

thanks for the card.

apart from all you've had to do, how is tom filling his days? how is he feeling about life in general? we miss his voice, too, no offense.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: gnu
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 08:22 PM

Aggghhhhh!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 08:10 PM

Sorry, too damned tired today to do much (see De-clutter thread) today. Didn't get to sleep until about 1:30 and my body insisted on "waking up" at 7:00. I don't function on too little sleep.

But both Tom and I slept well, what sleep we got. And I did get about an hour's nap, not that it did much good.

Tom fell yesterday on his way into The Press Room for the session and put a gash in the back of his head. He insisted on using just a cane and refused the steadying hand of a friend and got thrown off balance by a gust of wind. He was okay other than the cut, and the bleeding pretty much stopped right away (amazing since he's on Plavix), and he REALLY wanted to visit with people (since it had been a month since he'd last been to a session) so, despite the fact I thought it needed to be looked at by a professional and probably needed stitches, we stuck around the session for a bit. A friend called another session regular who is a is a FNP-C and she brought her gear to look at the wound and pronounced that it, indeed, needed stitches.

So at 5 PM (we'd actually only planned to stay until 6:15 so Tom could get into the house before dark) we headed to Lee Urgent Care which was on the way home. Sigh. Good idea and Tom got in right away, but...because he's on blood thinners he needed to have a CAT scan and they couldn't do that, so sent us on to Dover (semi-backtracking on the 2nd leg of a triangle from Portsmouth) to the ER. And the Wentworth-Douglass ER was having a busy night. 2-1/2 hours waiting until he could get the CAT scan. Then wait for it to be interpreted (it came out fine; and a doc said the interpretation was the quickest he'd seen accomplished, too), then wait to get stitched up. Stitches, not staples, because the wound was (we were assured it wasn't as bad as it sounded) "macerated". Five hours (at the Wentworth-Douglass ER) -- not counting the time at Lee Urgent Care and the half hour drive. We managed to maintain our sense of humor, though. Especially about the NOISE. The cacophony resembled a John Cage orchestration. Just when we though we'd heard all the weird noises (door constantly slamming behind me, beeps, bells, gongs, whooshes, one nurse's clattering shoes), something else would chime in. If you didn't laugh, you'd slit your wrists and there's no future in that.

We didn't leave the hospital until 11 PM. (He fell at 4.) Oh, and it was FxxKING SNOWING when we came home!!! Arghhhh! Hadn't eaten anything since lunch and McDonalds had just closed, so the only option was the drive-thru. Very unsatisfactory. Fun getting Tom safely into the house, too, since there was fresh snow over the kitty littered ice.

Couldn't go right to bed, of course. Plus had to post at Facebook so people wouldn't worry since they hadn't heard from us sooner. (Tried to call the Press Room but my cell wouldn't work in that part of the hospital.) So didn't turn out the light until 1:15 -- and woke up at 7:00 AM. I don't function on too little sleep. Did get a short nap, but it didn't help.

Made a couple phone calls, etc., this morning to get this afternoon's sea music session squared away. Hope we get a report on that since neither of us were up to going.

The wound on Tom's head hurts, but he doesn't seem to have any other aches from the fall.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 11:06 AM

Linn-

I'll plan to be at the Press Room at 3:30 pm sharp.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: maeve
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 08:18 AM

Update found on the Press Room thread:
******************
Subject: RE: March Press Room (NH) Shanty Sing
From: Bat Goddess - PM
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 12:10 AM

"Tom fell tonight on the sidewalk in front of The Press Room (gust of wind caught him) and he put a gash in the back of his head that required stitches.

Took him to Lee Urgent Care which is on the way home (and close to home) and he got in right away (at 5:30 PM), but because he's on blood thinners, he needed a CAT scan to make sure there was no blood leakage in the brain. They couldn't do that, so sent us (sort of backtracking at a different angle) to the Emergency Room at Wentworth-Douglass in Dover.

And there we waited. And waited. The ER was busy tonight. By about 7 we got out of the waiting room and Tom got into a bed in the hallway in the ER to wait another two hours before finally getting that scan. After that things started moving faster and he was stitched up and we were out of there by 11 PM. (Arghhh...only seven hours after he fell.)

I have no idea when we'll finally get to sleep tonight. I have no clue as to how the fall (even without the gash in the head) will make Tom feel tomorrow. I have no idea how I'LL feel tomorrow..."

I'll keep you all posted, here and at Facebook. I may have to call on a substitute adult influence to take charge of the session.

Linn
**************

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 10:55 PM

Fingers crossed, Linn. This is too many slips and falls and such. Time for it all to get straight and comfortable again.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 10:21 PM

Oh, no! I hope his injuries were minor this time.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: GUEST,Dianne
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 09:02 PM

Arrrggg! Poor Tom fell again, this time at the Press Room. I do not know all the details because I arrived as he was being helped out to the car where Dear Saint Linn was set to take him off for stitches!

I am sure Linn will chime in with the full story when she can but she will be very tired and stressed tonight and we may not hear from her until tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 12:39 AM

I hope Jeannie showed up on time and that as I write this you and Tom are both sleeping well.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 08:38 AM

8:20 this morning Jeannie called and said she'd be here between 10 and 11. That's what she's SUPPOSED to do.

Tom slept well last night. Wish I could say the same, but a black purr box with tickly whiskers kept waking me up (and I had a bad patch after midnight when I just couldn't get back to sleep). I'll live.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 07:52 PM

My ONLY point is... when you can't meet your sched... CALL! It's just good manners and it applies to EVERYone.

My old man told me one a his guys called at 8AM....

Dad: Owens here.
Guy : Do you know where I am?
Dad : No.
Guy : Well, it wasn't long distance so I'll be in to work soon.

THAT is good manners.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 07:22 PM

She never called or showed up.

I called scheduling again around 4 p.m. -- evidently the person I talked to this morning didn't do anything except make a note of my call. They say the nurse will call tomorrow morning to schedule a time -- I told them his physical therapist (also through VNA) is scheduled for 3 p.m. -- Bart is exceptionally prompt. He'll cross the threshold at 3 p.m. precisely.

Gotta go upstairs and make my to-do list for today (12-1/2 hours late) so I can cross off what I did and feel more or less accomplished.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 11:18 AM

The nurse is supposed to call between 8 and 10 AM and say when they are coming and work out a schedule if the original time won't work. And they've been very good about it in the past. The boss lady nurse told us last week that for a couple weeks it will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday and then cut down to twice a week.

His current VN just showed up last Wednesday -- right after Tom got home from a hospital follow-up appointment with his PCP. Normally, she shouldn't even COME on a day he's seen a doctor, but it was okay because she needed to do a blood draw for the hospital-ordered blood work. She was supposed to come on Friday (and, we assumed, would call between 8-10 to let us know when she was coming), but the weather sucked, so she called (see! she DOES know how to use a phone!) to see if she could come on Monday instead.

Never heard from her on Monday, although Tom thought someone may have rapped once on the door. Unless Tom is going out or expecting someone, he usually doesn't put pants on. So, besides the fact it would take him awhile to get to the door in the wheelchair, he wasn't about to answer the door half dressed. I was upstairs, I think, and didn't hear a thing. (We don't have a door BELL.)

It's 11 a.m. and we haven't heard from her. I did just call scheduling and complain. I have to go out and do a LOT of errands after lunch. Tom IS dressed in case she just shows up. An earlier phone call with ETA would have been really nice...

His therapist always sets up the time of the next visit before he leaves. It's really nice to know in advance how to plan the day!

It's just a further complication of an already complicated schedule.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 10:49 AM

our vn from home health calls every morning to schedule for the day. they have all shown when due and are totally into the patient. never any money-grubbing; in fact, all charges were discussed and agreed to up front. excellent management and service.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 09:39 AM

PS depending on the agency and its practices, your best friend may be the scheduler, not the nurse.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 09:38 AM

RE: VNA-- I SO agree with gnu. They respect the schedules they have to respect, and they fudge what they can fudge, all in the name of triage-- and that IS reasonable-- but remember that they want your insurance bucks and respect-- while you want care, and respect. That is the basic transaction, and they expect to be held to it. Just think how crushed one would be to arrive and find no one there to let them in, after the trip to GET there-- so they have to work not just with Tom, but YOU. :~)

Work it, girl!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 08:32 AM

"She was supposed to come on Monday, but never called and never showed."

That's unacceptable. Ask her for her phone number so you can call her when she is late by a few hours. She will give you an excuse. Keep the number for the VNA handy and call them late in the day and ask them when the next visit will be so you can schedule your day... with a smile, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Mar 13 - 08:02 AM

Bart, Tom's physical terrorist from the VNA, came yesterday to do an evaluation and will be back to get Tom on the right track to walking again.

Hope his visiting nurse at least calls this morning. She was supposed to come on Monday, but never called and never showed.

It would be nice to know how to plan the day -- I have to go out and pick up the cordless phone that should solve some of Tom's recent problems and frustrations. It's got a large, clear display and large buttons so he can see them and not hit the wrong ones in the middle of a conversation. Then I can look at a couple potential "new" cars, since I need to replace my '97.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 12 Mar 13 - 12:03 PM

Purple toes can't be ignored. You followed your instincts which is good.
Keep your chin and your toes up,
Tom
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon in hospital again - HOME AGAIN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Mar 13 - 12:05 PM

Linn, I will say all the below after many weeks on home health and serious post-op complications. The following is not to say you have not been doing a great job-- YOU HAVE. But the health care system we now have is designed to wear you to a frazzle so that you become the next patient. So it's a good idea to be smarter than that!!! :~)


BEST: The visiting nurse, if you trust him/her-- the main, regular one-- will be able to tell you exactly what to look for that needs immediate attention. (Mine did, twice, and the "extra one" who came when called on main-nurse's instrux... saved my life-- twice.)

So don't beat yourself up for "over-reacting", and please know that the main nurse can save you all that worry in future. (Mine wrote down the specifics, because I was on enough pain meds that I needed Hardi to see the instrux himself and not take my word for my recall.)


NEXT: But ultimately you have to trust your gut, and if you need to take Tom to get checked, do it-- but please ALSO remember that you may have friends within phone reach to help manage the process (and the aftermath). A HUGE part of my recovery has been thinking clearly and creatively about non-medical supports that are so GREAT it's hard to believe that, for the helpers, it was a piece of cake they were happy to help with. One BIG one was the till-recently "anonymous" January shopper: groceries, prescriptions, a print job.... at a time when I AND my spouse could not shoulder one more thing. I also had a laundry helper on call, people bringing the right kinds of meals on call (from their freezers), people who took me to appointments when I needed help in and out of the car...... this weekend I repaid that into another friend's support system (lung cancer post-op, daily shifts of non-anxious helpers).

So please, share the load. People love you and Tom. They just need a little direction so they don't feel.... intrusive. (My shopping friend's interruptive response, when I tried to thank her-- "Are you SERIOUS!?!?!?!")

~Susan