BS: I am not perfect after all

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket curious
Date: 29 Jul 13 - 02:36 AM

No it isn't. The poster has to be perfect too....

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 29 Jul 13 - 05:09 AM

You would argue about the color of the sky.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Musket
Date: 29 Jul 13 - 09:19 AM

Yes. I would argue it has colour....

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Musket
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 05:45 AM

This just in!

After weeks of ear drops that don't work and two days of olive oil that does.... Bloody good syringe this morning at the quacks. Perverse ecstasy you know..

The rest of the cotton wool finally came out, (false alarm the other week.)

Not only can I smell it when the dog farts, but I can now have sufficient warning by hearing it...

So, back to being perfect from now on.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 10:09 AM

Well, that's a relief! One step closer to perfection. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Musket
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 10:52 AM

No further steps required my feathered friend.

I can hear a cockroach fart, never mind the dog. Not sure we even have cockroaches round these parts.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 11:29 AM

You must have, if you can hear 'em farting.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 12:00 PM

In the case of dogs, it's the silent farts you really have to watch out for. Deadly!!! You ask yourself, "My GOD!...WHAT has the wretched thing been eating????"

The dog gazes blandly into the distance...or gives you a mildly inquiring look that says...

"Wot?"

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: akenaton
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 01:48 PM

The innocent look is the one to beware of......you always know its going to be a right stinker.

Dogs know all about farting and the effect it has on humans.

"Nature always finds a way to get its own back"

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket gagging
Date: 30 Jul 13 - 04:36 PM

Coincidence? The sod has just walked into my study, stretched and farted simultaneously and walked out again.

A precursor for later in the lounge when we settle with a drink and music. He will lay down on his beanbag and be quiet. Before long, my responsible adult or I shall cry "Jesus Christ! Get in the bloody garden now!" "Are you going to mention it to the vet? I would!"

That is the Musket household most nights.

Good night.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: akenaton
Date: 31 Jul 13 - 04:02 AM

Seriously Ian....if you give him dry food(nuts) as a base, you could try a lower protein variety.
There are special foods for retired racers on the market.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Musket
Date: 31 Jul 13 - 04:31 AM

I get mine from the retired greyhound trust. It is basically x meat and rice formed into the nuggets. It is low this, that and the other. I used to get the Arden Grange equivalent, as the sanctuary we got him from used it, but the retired greyhound trust variety works out about the same cost and they do OK out of it too.

He does have that physics defying trick of shitting more than he eats. It is often about right (3 or 4 on the Bristol Stool Chart, my time in infection control coming in useful there,) and if it is loose, we can normally attribute it to a treat he may have had. Gravy bones are OK but the biscuits that look like small sausage rolls, give him two and he is off up the garden for a spray.. Delicate stomachs compared to the mongrels we have had in the past so he isn't allowed to have our left overs. The exceptions are the skins when we have poached salmon or any other fish where we aren't fussy about the skin, and when he is off his food, sprinkling a bit of parmesan over the food has him racing to the bowl. His treats for chewing outside include occasional tripe strips and boiled bones.

That said, he regulates himself, rarely over 30KG and rarely below. (At this moment, hot weather etc he isn't eating as much and I can make all the ribcage out, I can usually only see the back two. He is about at his racing weight now, and a Kg more won't hurt.)

His farts though.... It's that defiant look he gives you when he notices that you have caught a whiff.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 31 Jul 13 - 06:04 AM

Blaming it on the dog. Oldest trick in the book!

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Musket
Date: 31 Jul 13 - 06:08 AM

If I could do it as he does, I wouldn't blame others, I'd join a circus.....