BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Severn, E & CP W/ & W/O P to the Emperor
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 04:37 PM

The sign on the door said Rap For Emperor. I rapped and rapped on said door in all sorts of patterns from three times to "Shave & A Haircut" until my fist got sore in case there was some sort of secret code to it all, and I achieved a state of "Rap", sure, but nobody was paying rapped attention, so there was no answer. Maybe I just gave a bum rap (like when I gave my ex a fake fur, a faux fox). I even rang the bell a few times, because the name Rap seemed to ring one, so why shouldn't I, as well? I hate to knock rap for not at least sending a Rapresentitive of some sort to spond at least once, as I knocked for Rap until Taps without any sort of sult at least once. I can only think that Raparee must have temporarily closed down for Rapaires.

I was just trying to bring him the painting I did of our new capital entitled "Rap City In Blue". Oh, well. Tomorrow's yet another one, eh Scarlett? Maybe two......

As I type this,I still remember the Duchy Of Grand Fenwick, that I'd thought Peter had used enough, but if our esteamed up leader wants to send me there, it's there I'm bound, to go along with this gag. Computer mice, alas, do not roar......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 04:23 PM

Mexican food we don't eat no stinking Mexican foids.. Not the emperor he only gets French stuff from the swedish, cajun, Indian, cook

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 02:32 PM

RSVP Dear Emperor,
you are honorably invited to The Rotunda at 5 PM Stardate 2344.76'

Chipolte' buffet will be provided in your honor.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 12:17 PM

Don't let all this genuflection and fawning behavior go to your head, Emp, while it's still attached to your neck, that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 12:04 PM

I can loan her my banjo.. And a tuner not that it's needed

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 09:39 AM

We in Our Wisdom do hereby and immediately appoint and name Jennie G, in all of her ramifications and notions, Our Imperial Torturer, with all of the Rights and Privileges and Banjos appertaining there unto, and We further grant her as her wages, salaries, and pay for this position all of the Iscreams she cares to enjoy, and further she may enjoy the Torturer's Quarters in Our dungeons and oubliettes, not excluding the use of the swimming pools, executive flying machines, yachts, saunas, wine cellars, chefs, and dining rooms accompanying said Quarters. Long may she wave!

Given on this, the First Year of Our reign, on the 18th day of February and the 7th after Our Birthday.

Emperor Rapparee ® His mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 12:29 AM

Sorry, Rapping Emperor, I leige to you in every way possible......but you are not getting my tiara. It stays here.

That, however, is probably cancelled out by the fact that I do not now, and have never done in any way, shape or form, played a banjo.

So that makes us square.

I get to keep my tiara, and in return I promise not to assault the Imperial Ears by plunking the Instrument of Torture.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 06:58 PM

Lol indeed oh grand employer... And Severn
Some day youse will Thanks me fer the whipons

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 06:30 PM

We now, in Our wisdom, do appoint Severn as Emissary and Commisary Plentypenitentiary With and Without Portbottle to The Duchy of Grand Fenwick and We authorize him to act in whatever way seems most reprehensible at the time, as long as he continues to pay for his orifice from Us.

Emperor Rapparee

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 06:22 PM

Just what are we getting esteemed up about?

Rap'll be disappointed, bless his appointed little head, as I haven't much use for any shiny rocks that don't play LPs. I don't know what I like better about precious metals, gemstones and jewelry, the fact that the stuff tastes so good or the fact that it keeps me warm at night when I cuddle up to it. In short, the stuff's highly overrated, so I'll have none to send. You'll have to test my mettle without much metal by meddling in other ways and probably giving yourself a medal for your efforts.

And what will become of all those weapons due or overdued to olddude. It is my belief that no man should posses more arms than, say, a squid. That he's prostituted himself for this mongrel whored of lethal stuff, begs the question ("Can I ask it? Huh? Huh? Can I, can I, can I, puhleeeze?") what he will DO with such an armory.

And I'm sad to say that the most I've been offered so far by the present regime is the post of Naval Attaché To Nepal, with no mention of salary, much less, amount of salary. "I'm the one who made you free", says Rap and I'm sure you're worth every penny of it....."
That's gratitude for you. But, as I said, I'm one who doesn't pick, and eschews precious stones and other like sucheries.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 04:44 PM

Any weaponry has to be turned over to me.. Especially if you have a tommy gun

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: David C. Carter
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 01:14 PM

Beware the Ides of March

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 12:05 PM

Inaminate but tangible things. We do not want your thoughts or words, We want your obedience and valuables.

Emperor Rapparee   ® His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 10:36 AM

Amen your most esteemed

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 09:07 AM

In this, the sixth day of Our reign, the following is mandatory for the Health and Happiness of Our subjects:

First, that all shall be happy,
Second, that We should be happier than everyone else,
Thirdly, that everyone else has more money than We,
Fourthly, that contrary to the Olde Sayinge, money can buy at least a facsimile of happiness,

It is Therefore Ordered:

That all of you, Our subjects, shall within the next forty-five days (including weekend, holidays, holy days, sick days, personal leave days, feast days, famine days, Lent, Easter, and all times wherein the Earth Our Domain does rotate around upon its axis in a Solar Day (as defined by the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service (IERS) as 86164.098 903 691 seconds of mean solar time (UT1) (23h 56m 4.098 903 691s)), shall send to Us all wealth, valuta, jewelry, jewels, gold (that is, the element with atomic number 79 and having a standard atomic weight (±) (Ar) of 196.966569 and an electron configuration of [Xe] 4f14 5d10 6s1 or per shell 2, 8, 18, 32, 18, 1) and other inanimate rare and valuable things (as defined by the society in which Our subjects live).

Failure to comply with This, Our first ruling, shall call down upon those failing the Wrath of olddude who shall salt their fields, burn their hovels and huts, and otherwise cause unto them Annoyance Great, which shall not exclude the playing of the banjo at ungodly hours.

Given at My Seat Of Power this Sixth Day of Our Reign and the First Year of the New Calendar, by

Your Beloved Emperor

Rapparee      ®   (his mark)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 07:00 AM

Hail to the Beef!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: David C. Carter
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 06:01 AM

And you need one of those funny hats,that spins round when you're driving with the top down.




Bob Dystopia

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: David C. Carter
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 05:46 AM

An Emperer needs an Empire.

I don't see one.

Remember Napoleon,don't go there!



Bob Dysleksick

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 03:02 PM

Don't tell me he's one of those e-dict haters or an edict-tator or even an e-duct taper. Anything's possible on line, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 02:05 PM

What are your first edicts oh enlightened emperor rapparee, your wish commands us loyal subjects

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 02:00 PM

Youaalways make me burst out laughing Severn... Priceless Lol

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 01:33 PM

Now why didn't the rest of us think of "awesome"? Of course it rhymes.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 12:51 PM

O, Master of all empirical and Empire-acal, whose Rap Id leads us by fast thinking. While we regale ya about regalia, here's a few suggestions:

We should gale ya a first time, for a start.

We need an official Empire Umpire with a supreme quart always at his or her side, and sighed with the Emperor when someone emps it up too high.

So that you don't become an Em-poorer, we need a trusty treasurer to watch over the money supply, seeing that prosperity flows freely to all of his predicated subjects and keep any of Rap's rapacity below capacity.

All would-be anthem composers, remember that Possum, that some folks eat raw some rhymes with "awesome". If one gets them mad, it tends to cause 'em claw some with their paw some, cause they don't like folks to boss 'em. But in the end, the finished song should be superior to even anything that Walt Kelly wrote for Pogo. Being a huge Pogo fan, Bill Day should head up the Anthem Judging Committee. The winning song will be premiered by olddude playing his old oud.

Give Mrs. Rap a Tiara Del Fuego that she can wear lower down.

Rap's crown should either come from Imperial Margerine or have at one time been worn by Clifton Chenier on tour. An occasional turban to give Rap a good wrap on his noggin with a large gemstone of some sort on the front.

Shouldn't we have some different faces on the coinage than the paper money? Chongo, for one, makes a lot of them.

Whaddaya think, folks?.......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 06:24 PM

Rap you know the book never published is in the anals / annals of the posts that Spaw posted under three different names.

I would begin with the Eureka post of waking up with profound inspiration.

Some come in sequence and a number f brain droppings would fill it out to the end.

The title?
Naked Truth of the squatting monkey

or...

$ goes to widow and son.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 05:24 PM

You would have to listen to non stop yolding while locked in a room with a fat guy who ate twenty spicy burritos

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 05:03 PM

re:vice
what would catspaw do?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 05:01 PM

Exactly and smile when you say that partner

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 04:29 PM

Lots of things will fall through the cracks of article 22 of forbidden mandatoriousness.

That's when the wisdom of an emperor will shine or display the truth of a squatting monkey.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 03:15 PM

Groan......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 11:28 AM

Our currency is the bong with the picture of the emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 09:36 AM

She still have her opera-length kid gloves (no, I'm not kidding -- she grew up in DC). Besides, a tiara would go to her head.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 12:28 AM

And Mrs Rap for Empress?

Should she need some regalia, I have a gen-u-ine 1960s rhinestone tiara (a very pretty sparkly little trinket it is too) which I will hire out for quite a reasonable fee.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 14 Feb 16 - 10:31 PM

Exactly

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 16 - 10:16 PM

All vice is licensed by the Emperor. So is all non-vice. What is not mandatory is forbidden, except that the forbidden can become mandatory.

I have spoken.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 14 Feb 16 - 03:08 PM

Me, I'm in charge of vice

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Feb 16 - 11:20 AM

"An emperor needs only his imagination." 
― Lionel Suggs

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 16 - 11:13 AM

Who is Vice Emperor?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 16 - 02:19 PM

I am sure he's still safe and sound. I have Spaw's word on that...

Subject: RE: BS: Cleigh O'Possum: I'M LEAVING!
From: catspaw49 - PM
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 08:30 PM

It's news to me Sins! As a matter of fact he's been real happy lately and "Artie" has been a lot of company to him. Artie seems to be a real hoot to Cleigh and I just went in and looked and Artie is swingin' and Cleigh is grinning like always.........said they were both pretty happy!

I think we have an impostor here trying to stir up trouble. Cleigh has been really happy to since Cletus went cross-eyed staring at Artie's head bouncing and tail swinging. THAT really endeared him to Cleigh so I don't think that was for real at all!!!!

Spaw

Memories... sweet memories.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Feb 16 - 01:54 PM

what happened to the possum?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 16 - 07:03 AM

Ditto Acme.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Feb 16 - 12:05 AM

Good move. I miss Spaw. (posted as former name - Acme)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 08:52 PM

Agree, he is laughing his ass off

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 08:36 PM

I hereby do appoint Catspaw49, known colloquially as Spaw, the Patron Saint and Spiritual Leader of This, Our Empire.

Let it be done as I say!

Corripe Cervisiam!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 05:00 PM

ocarina? (in honor of catspaw)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 03:16 PM

Lol maybe, the opossum is the symbol of the new state... I think the muskets can be in charge of security since they are loaded and maybe we can get steve shawls to take over the dress code.. How about it guys

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 03:10 PM

flotsam ?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 03:03 PM

I tried to write one but nothing rymes with opossum

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 02:58 PM

The emperor need a anthem any suggestions

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 12:19 PM

My God...that is the UGLIEST ape I have ever seen! You know, Chongo usually doesn't much like Orangutans.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 12 Feb 16 - 10:15 AM

I sat on gum once, does that count.