BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 05:43 PM

Enter Fool:

Room, room, brave gallants! Give us room to sport;
For in this room we wish to resort
Resort and repeat to you our merry rhyme,
For remember good sirs, this is Christmas time.
The time to cut up goose pies now doth appear,
So we are come to to act our merry Christmas here.
At the sound of the trumpet and the beat of the drum;
Make room, brave gentlemen and let our actors come...

Enter Gnome, with much loud belching and breaking of wind, much to the consternation of the fool.

Fool:

Are you a merry actor that traverses the street?
Are you a merry actor that fights for your meat?
Are you a merry actor that show pleasant play?
I thought you St George, the champion, to clear the way!

Gnome: St George? That poofter in a bed sheet with a red cross and rubber sword? Nah. He p****d off when I asked him for the price of a pint. Now how much money have you collected up to now? I'm sure you must be in a festive and generous mood :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 05:22 PM

Whisky, Power's, hot.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 05:07 PM

Looking down, Sheila is shocked......"Where did that come from?" she muttered. "It wasn't there last time I looked!"

From the other side of the hill she hears a mysterious noise, which turns out to be a solitary diprodoton (the technical name for the abovementioned giant wombat) who had wandered in from its home in far-flung Coonabarabran. Being a shy retiring creature it is more cautious of Sheila than she is of it, which is really saying something.

As Sheila leaned closer the diprodoton opened its mouth and said......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 11:05 AM

I rubbed some myrrh on my lips and meandered toward the dark where the Stallion stood and watched. The pale blonde held out his fingers and thankful lips licked them while huge eyes looked pleased. Just then an ocarina sounded what I took as announcement so at looked to the wide open doors where a silhouette against pinks and purples appeared and I murmured "is that Sheila pregnant"?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 09:29 AM

Gaaaah! Now we have a stoned giant wombat to cope with! Donuel, I shall smack your bottie.
Never mind, have a mince pie and a pint of Adnam's. In fact, you can have one of my toasted crumpets, here you are; it's Christmas after all.   :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 09:25 AM

Fictional? No! He thinks that this is far more real that, say, Washington, DC, where he spent 38 Christmases. THAT was fictional. Fantasyland On The Potomac.

He needs a drink.

"Landlord! A toddy, and don't spare the rum!" and he places his drinking horn on the bar.

MMario does auroch, he muses. And the giant squid...where IS Squiddy?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 08:18 AM

Look the Wombat likes it, cough cough, cough cough cough.

STOP THAT! Senofou yelled.

blonde pale face says 'no judgments mate' its fictional isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 06:36 AM

Oooooh hello there Sandra! Love your giant wombat!
Didn't realise they serve chicken sandwiches here. I'll have one too.
Later, can I have a ride on the wombat please? You can have a go on my carthorse if you like. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 05:28 AM

sandra saunters in, having left a giant wombat in the stable where it started eating the straw in the stall where an unfazed Ebbie placed it.

Giant wombats are herbivores, allegedly extinct 25,000 years ago & they certainly don't belong to people (maybe people belong to giant wombats??) Maybe JennieG will sort out the situation when she gets back.

sandra places an order for hot spiced orange juice and a chicken sandwich & looks around ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 04:43 AM

It's the name of my husband's tribe in Ivory Coast. I was originally Eliza on here years ago, but when I eventually joined, Joe said someone else already had 'Eliza'.

Tanned-face-man with blond hair has wandered off to find a more flashy tavern. He was a bit weird in my opinion.

When is the music going to start? I've brought my trusty harmonica and my recorder too. And I think I'll have another half of Adnam's thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 04:31 AM

Not to mention that we don't want flames in the stables! Thanks for the mulled wine, Senoufou (What does your name mean?) It's a chilly night out there but the drink will make me all the toastier. Just for that, I'll give the horses an extra measure of oats.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 16 - 04:05 AM

Well if that's a kind of cannabis Donuel, don't smoke it near me please. I don't approve of drugs. And don't smoke it in the stables either, the horses will go all wibbly-wobbly and giggly. We won't be able to ride them home.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 05:18 PM

And I' brought coffee and Colorado Northern Comfort weed. I'll smell like sweaty Tee shirts in here in no time.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 01:03 PM

Old lady hurries outside to the stables bearing mince pies and mulled wine for kind Ebbie with the horses. Her own carthorse is enjoying a bran mash and is deep in warm straw.
More people arrive as the evening progresses.. who shall we see next? Ah! A man with blond hair, an American accent and a rather strangely-coloured tanned face...No! No! It can't be!! Aaaaaaargh!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 12:48 PM

I shrug. In the warmth of the rough walls and dumped manure I accept that I shall never see the inside of the tavern itself. And that is all right; it is cozy where I am and it is where I choose to be. As each animal arrives I lead it into the stables and unsaddle or unharness it as the case may be and give it a quick rubdown with clean gunny sacks. As oblivious of my presence as their humans are, I cannot ignore the needs of the steeds.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 04:00 AM

A rather plump old woman on a sturdy carthorse arrives. Carthorse is stabled too, and plump old woman enters tavern. Rap's fire is burning beautifully and the warm glow makes the place lovely and cosy.
Old woman orders a half of Adnam's ale and settles in for a nice chat with all the others.
(Any buttered crumpets landlord....?)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 03:26 AM

...manure.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 02:36 AM

She won't find them in Yass! The Yassians are pouring out the cold bubbles and setting out a plate of excellent local cheeses while they wait for the weary travellers' arrival.

Meanwhile, in front of the empty fireplace, a small child is hazing forlornly and expectantly into the hearth, hoping against hope that a fat men wearing a red suit may come tumbling down any minute.

Outside in the shade of a gum tree stands a strange four-legged creature, and nearby is an open cart piled high with........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Dec 16 - 12:31 AM

sandra leaves hot, humid Sydney in the hope of finding cooler weather -

but is she looking for snow & snowy winds and ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Dec 16 - 10:09 PM

And so the fun and games begin. I'm scared to go in. Darn, not again...I'm a poet and don't know it....

Subject: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 16 - 09:57 PM

Dark and cold. A skiff of snow blew around his feet and blast of wind blew him hard against the oaken door.

It gave, and opened wide. He nearly fell.

Inside it was warmer, not much, but out of the wind. While no one had been inside for quite a while he found that there were still live embers in the massive hearth.

He kindled a fire, small and friendly and warming. Taking his billy from off his bong (he used it for a hook) he filled it with water.

As the warmth and light began to fill the hall he looked around and whistled for his trusty steed.

His call went unanswered, as the horse had already found warmth and shelter in the stable. The stallion was unsaddled and given food and water and clean hay.

Inside, the billy was boiling. He tossed in a handful of ground coffee, put the lid back on, and let it brew.