BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 17 - 06:30 PM

YAAAAAWWWWNNN. Mmmph. What? Did I miss it? Oh well, maybe next year. 16 wasn't a good year for me. Hope you guys had a good party. Catch ya on the flip side, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 Jan 17 - 04:07 AM

when I said sandra & the wombat resume their travels, I didn't mean they would necessarily travel together.

sandra was looking for cooler weather than currently found in hot humid summery sydney, the wombat is a traveller from another time, & their paths crossed somewhere in that strange space-time outside The Tavern ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jan 17 - 07:36 PM

Until next holiday! It was nice meeting a real Giant Wombat and meeting up with Ethel again.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 17 - 07:24 PM

Quietly he walks out, turns, surveys the not inconsiderable damage, sighs, and closes the door. "Until next time," he thinks.

Entering the stable he saddles his rusty tweed...er, trusty steed...and like all great heroes, gallops off into the sunset.

Back in the jello pit, Squiddy hears a faint "Hi-Ho, Gadolinium, AWAY!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 03 Jan 17 - 06:49 PM

sandra & the wombat resume their travels ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Jan 17 - 05:22 PM

And so, as the sun slowly fades in the west, we bid farewell to the denizens of the Tavern for another turn of the sun.

Better shut the door quickly, I hear a squidlet stirring......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 17 - 03:26 PM

(shuffling off in all my layers) toodles, a l'an prochain!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Jan 17 - 01:19 PM

bye bye, 2016 Christmas installment of the Mudcat Tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jan 17 - 03:45 PM

Having not sung the whole time donuel sucked in a breath sufficient for a 700 hp Mustang



"Here they come to save the day
Someone else is on the way

By night or by day It means that
someone else is here to stay

Mr. Online never hangs around,
when he hears this scary sound,

Here I come to save the day!
That means that someone else is on the way!

Yes sir, when there is a wrong to right,
Some one will join the fight!

On the sea or on the land,
They have the situation well in hand!

We know that when there's danger, we'll never despair;
Because we know despite danger someone is there...
On the land on the sea in the air.

We're not worrying at all
We just listen for their call
"Here we come to save the day!"
That means that someone else is on the way.

When there is a wrong to right,
someone else will join the fight
"Here I come to save the day!"
That means that Someone else is on the way! "



Despite embarrassed at the counter tenor operatic delivery, donuel slunk back to sitting against the wall.


Someone else started the song "you gotta down and join the Union, Ya gotta go down all by yourself...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jan 17 - 03:11 PM

(I couldn't remember the name of the sad one, the Eeyore of the valley.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 17 - 02:00 PM

As he stands holding his joxter strap.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jan 17 - 02:56 PM

Jocularity, jocularity! mumbles the Joxter, there for no good reason.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 17 - 11:33 AM

Okay, he thinks. Everyone is sleeping it off. Oh, look a Squiddy and the kids, cuddling up to everyone and leaving hickies! That's going to make for some who-did-what-to-whom conversations when they wake up.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Dec 16 - 11:59 AM

Time for the toasts! Cries Mrrzy, hoisting another hot whiskey, moustachioed with cream. Here's to what we ditched on purpose this year, in contrast to all we lost in our despite!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Dec 16 - 02:56 PM

tHE WOMBAT SANG THE bass ostinato in the Beethoven symphony.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Dec 16 - 02:48 PM

Does one shuck layers back on? I wonder, heading back in for some squiddly squishy hugs, with whiskies, um, whiskers...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Dec 16 - 02:24 AM

a much better version than that our illustrious ex-Prime Minister Bob Hawke did at the Woodford Folk Festival yesterday

But the wombat would not be at the Tavern unless it was musical

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Severn
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 09:30 PM

The alligator reaches down under the bat in a special place among the Cajun spices he brings up every year from Chef Michael Rodebodecheaux for some of the secret ingredients obtained from a local conjure man he saves for an emergency and mixes up a unique drink containing some Hoodoo charms and powders that are not to be revealed to all but the initiated and says lapsing into more of a Louisiana accent then he had been speaking in previously, "Bring the Fish Lady ovuh heah now. I have just de stuff. You come swallah some uh dis now, Ma'am."

She takes the glass of a purlple potion fizzing strangely, closes her eyes and downs most of it in one swallow and loudly yells "HOOOOO WHEEEEE!" She starts singing a bit of "Some Enchanted Evening" to test her voice out and exclaims, "I can SI-I-I-ING again!" and gives the alligator a great big wet sloppy kiss.

"Now y'all keep quiet 'bout dis." says the gator.......

The curious Giant Wombat, who up until now had uttered noises only intelligible to other Wombats picks up the glass, swallows what little is left, and breaks out into a lovely rendition of "Waltzing Matilda".......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 08:57 PM

keberoxu, Ebbie isn't quite sure why she is sulking but AH! she is quite all right now since Froggie has arrived. Surely he hasn't used only his own legs? She will run to the stables forthwith.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 08:47 PM

Well, I'm not sure it's exactly *skinny* dipping....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 05:36 PM

giant wombat in La La Land

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Severn
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 05:05 PM

The mynah birds reemerge and finding three strategic perches in the more crowded paert of the Tavern, just quietly sit and listen......

The terrier does a test press on the drill's trigger and finds it to be missing batteries and lays it aside. Admitting defeat the dog grabs a terrier cloth robe and towel and heads for the beach, passing Ethel Myrrhmaid returning, croaking as to how she's lost her singing voice completely.
    She goes to consult with Severn "Doc" Savage, a man of both bronze and brainz. Severn tells her to say, "Aaaah" and shines a pocket flashlight down her throat.
    "My voice was in fine shape when I went out to the reef," she rasps.
    Severn puts his chin in his hand and goes "Hmmmmm...." in true doctorly fashion and tells her, "I'm afraid you have polyps in your throat."
    "Does anyone know of a good cure?", Ethel says as loud as she can manage.
    "Hickory Smoke has always worked well for me." says Mmario from back at the stove. "You could go down to Virginia and take the Smithfield Cure.".......

The bats swoop down from the Belfry to try to figure out what a Wombat is.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 04:12 PM

I'm sorry, Ebbie, I never meant to hurt your feelings. Honest. I just thought you could use a bit of help with the unidentified swimmer from the jello pit. Especially with everybody watching the Tennessee Brat Terrier. I apologize for making you sulk.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 03:56 PM

Unknown to everyone: Severn broke into Rap, has a new stage name Sir Pun Zeal, had minor plastic surgery and has completely made his songs and performance computer generated. He picked up some very cheap land near Bimini and sleeps in a bed of cash.

Support the Mynah Union.
I am for the birds.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: frogprince
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 03:17 PM

At which point a weathered looking old frog hops in. "I was hoping to make it here a bit sooner", he notes, "but I had to hop to Minnesota and back first. I was especially hoping to meet Mrrzy in person; did someone say she was going out to the beach to skinny dip? which way did she go?

Mrzzy isn't what ? But I aways assumed...

          ...never mind...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 08:17 AM

I might go out there and take off my remaining layer... any sour widow or whatever out there?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 03:09 AM

Old lady laughs at all Severn's puns, then goes to sit with Ebbie, offering her yet another buttered crumpet and a nice cup of tea. Whisky is all very well, but nothing beats a nice cup of tea.
The Union of Mynahs then marches out with their banners, followed by old lady who is heading for the chorale beach, where she dons her low-cut bikini (not atoll too small for her) and relaxes in the warm sun, with the three Siamese cats.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Dec 16 - 02:26 AM

Ebbie sits in the corner and sulks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Severn
Date: 28 Dec 16 - 11:22 PM

Uh, oh! The terrier picks up a Black and Decker weapon of choice from a toolbox and starts back toward the jello pit humming "Drill Ye Terriers, Drill"......

Does anybody even know the plural of "Mongoose"?....

The birds have stopped singing when they find out they're not getting paid. They walk off to a corner to huddle and talk and plot their revenge, singing "Union Mynah's Stand Together". Some drunken Old Left fool, thinking it's all part of the act, calls out a request for "The Internationale" but is ignored......

Not likibg it that the music has stopped and since one of the back doors of the Tavern, as used in past years, leads to a bright sunny beach. Ethel Myrrhmaid goes out toward the reef to practice some carols with her coral group, while out at the edge, the sponges watch from the porifera, absorbing it all.....

As she goes out, Ma Squid and a number of squidlings reenter the building.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Dec 16 - 08:54 AM

Six 'cats a-meowlin'
Seven banjoes howlin'...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 08:32 PM

Four shots of whiskey
Five old time Kings

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 07:43 PM

Pecs et lux, baby. Pexs et lux.

Three squiggly squidlets
Four...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 10:59 AM

In his dreams there is a shotgun, an H&H "Royal" side-by-side double, but even in his dreams he knows better. He stirs and touches his old, faithful, flintlock pistol. Even now, bitten through, it's what he's used and will use again on the King's Highway.

The baragator rouses him and gently helps him get outside of a hot buttered rum. "Aw-rock nerelee dun," the baragator says, and helps him to his feet. He looks around and quietly states, "This place is a mess."

From the jello pit comes an agreeing sucking sound as Squiddy eats one of the chickens.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 10:45 AM

Sorry bout that Mrrzy but admittedly your pecs are huge. Another 10 days of Christmas, One giant Wombat, 2 Cockatoos, Three...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 10:26 AM

Ah, Rikki-tikki-tavi...

Coming out of the corner, time for more whisky. Power's, hot. The saw side of the seesaw comin' up, literally and, since it now means figuratively, literally. Snicker.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 10:09 AM

Like falling asleep at four PM and waking not knowing what day or night it is, Rapaire was still emerging from visits from the spirits of Mudcat past and future without knowing of the Mall riots and Mudcat arguments that emerged while he was asleep. As Rap's dance of sugar thumb fairies faded from dreamland he noticed his Mossberg was not in the car but by his side and evidence of a melee was all around.

He had no way of knowing of the chemical reaction of green jello with nitrogen or the fighting words he muttered before his nap. Like a fuse to a nuclear bomb the fateful words that started the mean drunk debate was REAL MUDCAT MEMBERS.

Classical musicians were vilified for always stealing folk tunes for their compositions then the protest folkies fought with the olde timey crowd and the superiority of the Irish bounced off Dylan purists who insisted a Siamese cat on your head was critical for some reason then white national folk clashed with Leadbelly blues...

No one expected a Folk music Inquisition. Joe from animal control was feeding a horse and tending to business when Rap asked, "was Amos here last night? Joe said more like 2 nights ago, now there is a real...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: JennieG
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 04:24 AM

I thought that was the well-known group The Goose and Mon Sly Family......didn't they record in a pit of green jello?

The slurping sounds have to be heard to be believed.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 09:59 PM

Didn't he have a group? Sly and the Family Mongoose?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 09:20 PM

Sly Mongoose

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 08:24 PM

Could it be a mongoose?
Anybody know any songs about the mongoose? I don't even recall Flanders & Swann writing one, although they wrote about the three-toed sloth.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 08:22 PM

No, Rap, Ebbie's domain is the stables, not the jello pit. Unless somebody/something wandered from the stables into the pit where it is not supposed to be. Maybe it is whatever keeps the stables varmint-free.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 07:50 PM

Ebbie. It's her pet.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 06:55 PM

Who belongs to Ebbie's Thing from the jello pit?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 02:46 PM

"It's that dag-slab Temperance Movement!" he exclaims. "Only the REAL 'catters show up! Now, I remember one time when Spaw..." and drifts off to sleep amid the carnage of the fireworks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 01:01 PM

Siamese cats are busy serving revenge cold on Squiddy (ie weeing on him)
Old lady has had a nice nap and is now trying to click on gnu's link. But it says 'not allowed for your country'. However, it's evidently of Pink singing 'I'm Coming Up'. She really loves that version.
Beau the Brat Terrier is resting his head on her knee; lovely creature.
This year, patrons of the Tavern seem a bit thin on the ground...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: gnu
Date: 26 Dec 16 - 12:40 PM

Senoufou... this one? Me too.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 16 - 09:21 PM

The tools of his trade bitten in halves by the baragator, he sidles to the middle of the room. Taking a position immediately below the gaping hole, he removes from this satchel a series of cylindrical cylinders, each with a red or green string sticking out from the bottom. No one notices, or if they do they think nothing of it as everyone else is watching the terrier.

Lighting a massive cigar, he applies the ember tip to the string. Suddenly the place is filled with various exploding fireworks. His aim was off and every one of the pyrotechnics missed the hole in the roof!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Dec 16 - 12:08 PM

Beau, having gone out for a roll in the snow to clean the slime off his fur, goes dashing back to the pit, dives in and emerges with a severed tentacle in his teeth. He heads for the back of the Tavern, savagely shaking the tentacle and getting goo everywhere.

The Little Ranger wanders over to the pit and reminds the Squid that terriers are not to be trifled with, and perhaps it might want to think twice about harassing Siamese cats, as they prefer to serve revenge cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Dec 16 - 08:46 PM

Ebbie to the rescue! You go, Beau.
Initiation at the Tavern. Poor lamb.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2016
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Dec 16 - 06:31 PM

Hearing a liquidy commotion from inside the tavern, Ebbie takes long strides to the back door. Little does anyone know that she is a frequent visitor to the scene and in fact, long ago took it upon herself to keep a stock of cuttlefish and clams on hand to keep the squid happy and well fed. Humph. It always amazes her that anyone might think that a squid can go for a year without eating.

She reaches into the murky pool and fishes out several lumpy green objects: a brat terrier and four cats. They are bedraggled and angry but well enough for all that. The Brat goes off running across the floor but the cats take to cleaning and preening. With the other hand, Eb grabs a handful of assorted shellfish and tosses them to the waiting and eager tentacles.

Then Ebbie does a double take. FOUR cats?. One of the cats is distinctly different from the others- in fact, it appears it may not be a cat at all.

Ebbie shouts: Anyone lose this thing?