BS: School Performances

Subject: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Nov 18 - 03:16 PM

With the pantomime and Christmas play season fast approaching, I've been reminiscing about my experiences both as a child participant and as a rather harassed primary school teacher.

As a staff we used to perform a hilarious pantomime for the whole school to watch (about 400 pupils, Middle School) The most attractive teacher (not me, sadly) would play the leading role in say Cinderella.
We even choreographed a dance and the stern Deputy Head would perform a nifty soft-shoe shuffle.

I once played Little Miss Muffet, and a giant hairy spider was lowered on a rope as I sat on my tuffet. My screams were extremely realistic.

Two young teachers were...er...very fond of each other, and he was of course the Prince to her Snow White. The whole school cheered when he woke her with a kiss. (They got married the following Spring)

My own productions were often riddled with disasters.
The boy I chose to play Jesus for an Easter play wet himself copiously at The Last Supper, and his disciples were wading through a large puddle for the entire first scene.

I wrote a pantomime with music and songs, involving some elves who had to dance around a witch. Sadly, one tripped over, the others fell on top and the witch toppled into her own cauldron. The music teacher/piano player soldiered manfully on. The parents were convulsed, trying not to laugh.
Has anyone else got fond memories of past triumphs/disasters of a similar nature?

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Nov 18 - 04:32 PM

What I recall is one perennial misunderstanding of body language,
between very small children and very grown-up adults.

It's not unheard-of for very small children,
when the curtain goes up and the house lights go down,
and the children are up there on display,
to hide their faces.
And if they are little girls in skirts,
they often hide their faces by snatching at their skirts and pulling them straight up and over their faces.

Which exposes their knickers.
And the grown-ups always wonder,
what possesses the little girls to show off their knickers in that fashion?

What we have here is a failure to communicate ...

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Nov 18 - 04:46 PM

Over here the riotous laughter is not held back for poetry but when it comes to attempted music there is a staunch stoicism among the parents.

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Newport Boy
Date: 11 Nov 18 - 05:08 PM

Anne had a class of 6 year olds one Christmas. The nativity play went quite well until after the 3 shepherds had said their lines and had to stand by while it was the kings turn.

One of the shepherds got bored, took his crook and held it like a gun and mowed down the entire audience, with great sound effects!

Some teachers managed to keep a straight face - nobody else did.

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Nov 18 - 06:35 PM

At one nativity play with appropriate accompanying Christmas carols, the rather stage-struck drama teacher had made the stage into several levels by the use of large wooden boxes.
The cast had to display themselves on these during the performance for visual effect.
The Three Kings were clambering up to the highest level for their appearance when one fell over backwards and disappeared from view behind the scenery. I had to stuff a handkerchief into my mouth when the sharp-witted choir of 12 year olds sang, "We TWO kings of Orient are..." the little monkeys!

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 11:47 AM

Where is Orientare I wonder!!

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 12:44 PM

Hahahaha Bonzo! They were under strict instructions NOT to sing 'While shepherds washed their socks by night', but I did have to admire their united presence of mind about the remaining two kings. (The lad was bruised but hadn't broken any bones fortunately)

I was usually chosen to be the Narrator by my teachers when in the Infant School, because I read clearly and well. I was always rather sad about this, as I wanted to be the Virgin Mary or at least a blooming angel, but no. I wore an old red tartan kilt attached to a liberty bodice, and a Fairisle jumper. No glamour at all.

There's an old black-and-white photo of me standing at the front of the stage holding bravely forth. I was the skinniest, smallest kid imaginable (I started school at four and could already read fluently), and my mother would insist on my hair having 'curling rag-a-me-bobs' in it after washing, so I resembled Shirley blasted Temple.

But rebellion was brewing, as on my feet I'm clearly wearing one lace-up shoe and one plimsoll. Ha!

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 12:58 PM

I might add that this Middle School was very near a small shopping precinct called Anglia Square. In Norfolk there's a famous parody of the Three Kings carol:-

"We three kings of Anglia Square
Selling ladies underwear.
They're fantastic - no elastic,
Seventy pence a pair!"

There was also,

"We three kings of Orient are,
One in a taxi, one in a car,
One on a scooter blowing his hooter,
Following yonder star."

and

"While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated round the tub,
A bar of Sunlight soap came down
And they all began to scrub."

My pupils were forbidden on pain of death to sing these during a carol concert, but I was almost sure I heard the naughty words many a time.

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: MickyMan
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 01:22 PM

In the US, we don't have silent presentations called "Pantomimes".    We did pretty much the same thing, though.   I taught middle school music for about 25 years, and we'd often have students silently acting out "skits" while the orchestra, band, or choir were doing a song. Never called them pantomimes, although that does indeed make a lot of sense.

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 02:04 PM

I used to be in an am-dram group, mixed adults and kids. I was playing The Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz, and there's that scene near the end when Dorothy chases the witch around her cauldron (another cauldron scene, Senofou!) before stuffing her into it. I tripped over and the quick-thinking 12-year-old Dorothy, just hauled me sideways into it, apparently through its cast-iron wall!

Then there was the nativity play in which my daughter and several of her pals were dressed up as angels looking as if "butter wouldn't melt in the mouth": they were all sitting on a gym bench. Fine until they all leaned backwards at once, almighty crash, eight legs in the air!

Now, I have a grandson, and went to his nativity play last year: each child had a line or two to say. So they pass around a wireless microphone, and they all know how to use it perfectly!!

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 03:02 PM

Micky, pantomimes aren't silent here in UK. They're musical plays and have certain traditions, such as a 'dame' who is always a man in drag, and a 'principal boy' who is a lady with nice legs dressed as a young man. They portray well-known tales such as Aladdin, Sleeping Beauty, Jack and the Beanstalk and so on.

There's always a slapstick scene with water or custard pies, and a villain, whom everybody hisses and boos.
There are standard responses required from the audience, "He's behind you!" (oh no he isn't) "Oh yes he is!" and so on.

I'll never forget the first time I took my African husband to see a pantomime at Norwich Theatre Royal. He'd never been inside a theatre in his life and was absolutely gobsmacked.

After about half an hour, he leaned over and whispered in French, "I can't think why, but I'm wondering if that fat lady is a man in a dress?" He'd only just twigged! When the evil magician came up from a trap door with lots of 'smoke' he nearly jumped out of his skin.
It was so sweet watching his reactions - he loved every minute.

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Nov 18 - 03:05 PM

Tattie, I learned very earlier in my teaching career to avoid gym benches at all costs. They inevitably tip over, so I can well imagine the angels flying over backwards as you describe!

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Acorn4
Date: 15 Nov 18 - 05:38 AM

Then there was the teacher who wrote the line in a school play:-

"Oh that I, such a humble shepherd should live to see a sight such as this!"

Just asking for the inevitable!

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 15 Nov 18 - 05:58 AM

Glanwydden primary school would be my only memory and I'd remember, eg. reading out "and in that region, there were shepherds watching their flocks by night" (or similar). Also, perhaps a verse in we three kings.

It was then a small school without eg. enough boys to make up a 5 a side football team in one school year, so nothing major! There was also some link up with the Penrhyn Bay Presbyterian church and I remember the Rev Dober, nice bloke who had a son in the years younger than me. But I can't place what we did there.

Pip (mum's) memories do include us struggling with Jesus was born in a stable which was a sort of bluesy carol none of us got how to do and a sort of "behold I bring you joy" given in a glum voice...

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Senoufou
Date: 15 Nov 18 - 07:20 AM

All these posts are making me laugh.

I've been wondering if, with all this kerfuffle about transgender, LGBT and so on, there might be a new style of Nativity play? Maybe the Three Kings are all gay, the Blessed Virgin is actually a trans man -> woman,
and instead of angels, one has Mermaids and flying transvestites.

Anything is possible these days, I find.

Subject: RE: BS: School Performances
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Nov 18 - 11:01 AM

Filming (video) and photography at school performances have often been the subject of rules and disagreements. I still have videos of my son's and daughter's primary school productions, (taken with my own camcorder and strictly for home viewing) and my daughter's dance class: all taken within 25-30 years ago, and they have been the source of much amusement on odd occasions since. Not long after that, there was a ban put on parents even photographing their own children in most places: all to do with Child Protection issues. Only "official school photos" were allowed (usually costly to buy!).
Some of our local schools have now done an about turn on this, having first secured the permission of ALL parents of any given class for their kids to be filmed, whether on Mummy's mobile or a big video-cam.