BS: Anger

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Oct 23 - 09:47 PM

I have been saying for some time that we, as a culture, need to de-glorify those people who kill others. I would like us to use terms like 'creep' or 'no good' or something like that instead of using terms that hark back to shooting galleries or that imply skill or fun. Even murderer or killer or gunman glorifies the sad and ugly people in a benighted country like the USA.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Oct 23 - 12:33 AM

I once heard a man say that when he is angry, he feels alive. Not quite in those words but that's what he meant.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Oct 23 - 11:42 AM

I have never been good with anger.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: robomatic
Date: 27 Oct 23 - 11:49 PM

I have run into anger many times in many people. I believe that along with this is instigation of fear in order to stimulate reactions of anger. And I think sometimes this is being managed to achieve these results.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 09:11 AM

https://abcnews.go.com/US/mass-shootings-days-2023-database-shows/story?id=96609874

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 05:52 PM

Language is thought out loud. The American language is ghost-peppered with shooting euphemisms. I go on a shopping spree but 'shooters' go on shooting sprees. Note we call the murderers, gunmen, or shooters.
It's not murderous rage, it's a mass shooting (in D minor)
I may be shooting from the hip but I am taking aim at how we think and associate because of language choices. I'm no hot shot but I know brainwashing when I see it.

I believe gun enthusiasts hold the smoking gun. I'm willing to pull the trigger on mindless gun nut generated language. It matters once you know you have a choice of words. I not targeting individuals but instead blasting at a culture.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Oct 23 - 08:59 AM

Suicidal mass murderers are not likely to band together because they can not handle interpersonal relationships but political/religious terrorists are capable of any horror in groups.

I believe the cause for most anger is the perceived unfair treatment of a person compared to other people. Also, the complete ignoring of the existence of others is a cause for unreasoned anger.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 11:47 AM

Last night's news was wall-to-wall shooter in Maine story, on MSNBC one FBI analyst took time to describe the difference between serial killers and spree shooters. The spree shooter may spread the shooting over time but it tends to be tied to a process that results in suicide by cop if they don't take their own lives at some point. This seems to be an angrier form of assault than the just plain sick serial killer demonstrates. This is a very oversimplified version of what he said.

There is an account I follow on Instagram with a fellow who seems to be a philosopher attorney type who offers short tutorial videos on how to solve or avoid interpersonal complications. He recently spoke about anger, and suggested what Thompson did, first off, change the subject.

Subject: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 03:05 AM

I have a dear friend who's addicted to anger - a brilliant man who I have no doubt does his career and his personal life great harm through this addiction.
Every time I meet him - no, not every time, but very often - he's dangling hopeful minnows for me to snap at to allow us to quarrel; he knows me well, so he knows that raging about a cyclist wearing black and no lights and no helmet as he drives by is likely to make me ragey, and there we go!
I've discovered, however, that the secret to a pleasant and kind interaction is simply to ignore this hopeful coat-trailing, and change the subject. I'm not a saint (you may have noticed) so I don't always manage this, but I'm getting better at it.
Anger addiction is not absent from my own life either…
Any other methods for control of anger issues gratefully accepted.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 04:23 AM

Not my job, but I wish he could be freed from this tragic addiction.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 08:16 AM

Behind the wheel is one of the most dangerous places to be angry.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 12:35 PM

keberoxu, in the wonderful Master and Commander there's a lovely phrase describing obsessive depression. I quote (one character - obviously based on the ill-fated Lord Edward Fitzgerald if he had escaped the ethnic cleansing that followed the 1798 Rising - is telling another that he has deliberately failed to hand up someone else to the hangman, but it looked as if he did this in response to blackmail; the character quoted below is replying to him, and talking about how he's dwelling on this angrily):

"But you had not: it is a sick fancy. Indeed it is not far from morose delectation: take great care of that sin, James, I beg."

Morose delectation! What a wonderful description of how we can dwell on shame and anger and sadness and guilt, sometimes for months or years!

As for changing the subject, that's what we do when we're prepared, but I'm always reminded of the time I convinced myself I was going to be gentle-natured and mannerly on the road, I would model myself on my dearest friend, whose whole life is dedicated to her relations with others, and who seriously studies this through meditation retreats and careful, caring strategies. I was happily enjoying a fantasy of perfect balance and forgiveness when, as I cycled through a green light, a powerful-looking white-haired man flew across, turning in front of me while blaring his horn - and I immediately and without conscious thought gave him the bird. *Pouff* went my fantasies of gentlewomanliness!

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 27 Oct 23 - 02:06 AM

Yes, Donuel, you're absolutely right. I'm stunned by how journalists write about gunmen and mass shootings, not murderers and mass murders. Language as spoken thought is one thing; language as obfuscated thought is another.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 27 Oct 23 - 03:40 AM

Mind you, that linguistic obfuscation is seen in other areas; I see some dimwit writing in the NYT today about how the old should go back to work (ooh, me sciatics), it not occurring to him or her that they'd be used for cheap labour to steal jobs from the young.
And to leap nimbly (ooh, me crackly joints) for a moment on my hobby-horse, every reference to a "cyclist" having "died" in an "accident" in which they were "in collision with" an articulated truck, dangles from its arse a collection of comment dingleberries by The Man on the Clapham Omnibus saying "I once nearly got hit by a cyclist they're all going through red lights etc etc".
Not that the Man from Clapham is likely to be on an Omnibus now; he's more likely behind the windscreen of his ridiculously large SUV, wondering why he has no money.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Thompson
Date: 28 Oct 23 - 12:12 AM

I think it’s often a physical need for the stimulus - the faster heartbeat, the anger hormones.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 06:13 AM

I don't get angry in ways that I express externally except when I'm behind the wheel ;-). We can talk about feeling irritated, impatient, frustrated, bemused, upset, enraged, cross, etc. in response to particular events or circumstances. But it sounds like the two chaps in question have a different and more serious problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 02:28 PM

It's angry, Thompson, but it's brief, the air turns blue but there's no red mist!

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 12:23 PM

Aggression with anger is something I back/run away from.

My problem is depression, which is anger turned inward, so it is said.

Anger that is suppressed may not look dangerous to others,
but it can be very dangerous to oneself.
That's why I'm in treatment.

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Oct 23 - 03:50 AM

We have a neighbour like this Thompson. He's sixty and works constantly from dawn til dusk cutting hedges and using his tractor. He can be funny and friendly, but often has an outburst of red hot anger. My strategy is to say nothing and merely smile. I find it a bit intimidating. My husband prefers to erupt back at him quite aggressively,which makes him back down. I think a muscular man (eg husband) can make this angry behaviour stop, but as a rather timid old lady, a smile and silence works well. (In 'Norfolkspeak' "Yew orter say narthing bor!"

Subject: RE: BS: Anger
From: Senoufou
Date: 29 Oct 23 - 11:24 AM

I think you're right Donuel. Anger seems to me to be a natural emotion, but it's how one handles it that matters. One can seethe internally, but one shouldn't attack others either verbally or physically. I used to have to preach that to my school pupils when I was teaching. They could get furious in a sudden 'squit' (Norfolk slang for a bit of a slanging match). A handshake and a kind word between them usually worked.