Funniest Talking Blues Song

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: ddw
Date: 07 Aug 00 - 09:47 PM

I'm not sure they qualify as "talking blues," but a bunch of Ray Stevens's things are hilarious — the one that comes to mind first is The Day I Taught Charleen McKenzie How To Drive. Great stuff!.

david

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Miss`Ippe
Date: 07 Aug 00 - 04:53 PM

How 'bout John Hurt's "COFFEE BLUES",,,,,,,,,love that Maxwell House!

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,Rich(stupidbodhranplayerwhodoesn'tknowbetter
Date: 06 Aug 00 - 05:45 PM

My all-time favorite has got to be Woody Guthrie's "TALKING HARD WORK" It's hysterical. It may be a stretch, but Ron Thomasin's intros during live performances of the Dry Branch Fire Squad are also really funny. I heard a few people complain that "ONce he gets to talkin', he forgets that he's SUPPOSED to be playin' music up there", but I think that's half of their charm. If you don't have the opportunity to see them, their "Live...At Last' CD is a must.
Rich

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: okthen
Date: 05 Aug 00 - 09:17 PM

has to be ALICE'S RESTAURANT MASSACREE

Subject: Lyr Add: FRATERNITY BLUES (Townes Van Zandt)
From: GUEST,Ely
Date: 05 Aug 00 - 07:51 PM

FRATERNITY BLUES
As recorded by Townes Van Zandt on "Live at the Old Quarter, Houston, Texas" (2008)

I decided to improve my social station.
I joined a fraternal organization,
Tucked in my shirt, signed on the line.
Right away they set about to improve my mind,

The car I drove, the books I read, the food I ate, the booze I drank, the girls I took out,--my breath.

They said, "Kid, we don't much like the way you walk,
And you're gonna have to change the way you talk."
They said, "Your dress is kinda slouchy,
And your attitude is mighty grouchy.

They said, "You got to learn to bubble. You got to bubble with enthusiasm." I started bubbling.

The most important thing, you can't forget,
Is learning the entire Greek alphabet.
I never did really understand
How that was going to make me any more of a man,

But I learnt it.... I can whip through that son-of-a-beta backwards in five seconds.

Then they hit me with some pretty bad news
Concerning the payment of monthly dues.
I never did know where that money went,
And I never was sure it was real well spent,

But I paid it.... I'm no trouble-causer and besides, I figured that's life--if you want good friends, they're gonna cost you.

Well, it finally got to be party time.
I got a great big ol' jug of wine.
I went back to the house in about an hour
Everybody's drinking whiskey sours,

Brandy Alexanders, frozen daiquiris, reciting the Greek alphabet to one another.

I could see I was gonna do my very best
To get myself out of that fraternity mess.
I stood right there outside the door
And I chugged that wine like never before,

Walked inside and bubbled.... All over a couple of their dates.

So, now everything's back to normal again,
But there's still lots of room for improvement, friend.
Course, that fraternity stuff's too much for me
Next time I'm gonna join a sorority.

Really give 'em something to bubble about.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: MarkS
Date: 04 Aug 00 - 11:56 PM

Don't forget David Bromberg's "BEWARE, BROTHER, BEWARE." Not the same as talking blues by Dylan, Guthrie, or Elliot, but still funny and entertaining.

"Don't DO that!"

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: okthen
Date: 04 Aug 00 - 07:44 PM

alan ever heard "THE FATHER OF A BOY NAMED SUE" by Shel Silverstein, cash would NOT have recorded that

cheers

bill

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,Jon Nickleodeon
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 02:02 PM

Does anyone know the words to TALKING POP ART, by Tom Paxton thanks

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:21 PM

My favourite for the last 20+ years is Charlie Daniels 'UNEASY RIDER'. It taught me more about American social history than any other single document.

Skipjack

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 11:20 AM

Has anyone heard the SIGNIFYIN' MONKEY?

That's maybe the funniest blues I have ever heard, with "ANSWER TO THE LAUNDROMAT BLUES" running a distant second.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 03:23 AM

Steve

It's a ghost track on Todd Snider And The Nervious Wrecks album Songs For The Daily Planet... My mom also has a video tape of them on Austin City limits, with slightly differnt lyrics...

Great energy! Great songwriting! Great music all'round!

;-)

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,simon-pierre
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:15 AM

Dylan's «TALKIN' HAVA NEGEILAH BLUES». That's all the lyrics...

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:19 AM

Clinton,

I have never heard that one, but it's a beauty.

Do you remember the Weird Al one that was a send up on the whole Seattle sound? Something to the effect of "this is the part of the song that's really quiet, (Full grunge Chords heavily distorted) and this is the part of the song that's really loud" Funny as hell.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,Rev Carr
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:50 PM

I nominate the old Bob Dylan rarity "TALKIN' BEAR MOUNTAIN PICNIC MASSACRE BLUES." It's hard to find, but it's hilarious (and based on a true story).

Subject: Lyr Add: TALKIN' SEATTLE BLUES (Todd Snider)
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 05:37 PM

You folks never heard the "Talkin' Seattle Blues" By Todd Snider?

Lemme see if I can find it...


TALKIN' SEATTLE BLUES
As recorded by Todd Snider on "Songs for the Daily Planet" (1994)*

CHORUS: Hey, hey, my, my,
Rock 'n' roll will never die.
Just hang your hair down in your eyes.
You'll make a million dollars.

Well, I was in this band goin' nowhere fast.
We sent out demos but everybody passed,
So one day we finally took the plunge,
Moved out to Seattle to play some grunge.
Washington State that is,
Space Needle.
Eddie Vedder.
Muddin' honey!

Now to fit in fast, we wear flannel shirts.
We turn our amps up until it hurts.
We got bad attitudes, and what's more,
When we play, we stare straight down at the floor
While we—pretty scary.
How pensive!
How totally alternative!

Now to fit in on the Seattle scene,
You gotta do somethin' they ain't never seen,
So thinkin' up a gimmick one day,
We decided to be the only band that wouldn't play
A note
Under any circumstances.
Silence!
Music's original alternative.
Roots grunge.

Well, we spread the word through the underground
That we were the hottest new thing in town.
A record guy come out to see us one day,
And just like always, we didn't play.
It knocked him out.
He said he loved our work.
He said he loved our work but he wasn't sure if he could sell a record with nothin' on it.
I said, "Tell him we're from Seattle."
He advanced us two and a half million dollars.

CHORUS

Well, they made us do a video but that wasn't tough,
'Cause we just filmed ourselves smashin' stuff.
It was kinda weird 'cause there was no music,
But MTV said they'd love to use it.
The kids went wild; the kids went nuts.
Rolling Stone gave us a 5-star review, said we played with guts.
We were scorin' chicks, takin' drugs,
Then we got asked to play MTV Unplugged.
You should 'a' seen it.
We went right out there and refused to do acoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place.
Then we smashed our shit.

Well, we blew 'em away at the Grammy show
By refusing to play and refusing to go,
And then just when we thought fame would last forever,
Along come this band that wasn't even together.
Now that's alternative!
Hell, that's alternative to alternative.
I feel stupid.
And contagious.

Well, our band got dropped and that ain't funny,
'Cause we're all hooked on drugs, but we're out o' money,
So the other day I called up the band.
I said, "Boys, I've taken all I can.
Shave off your goatees; pack the van.
We're goin' back to Athens.

[* Another "live" version of this song, called "TALKING SEATTLE GRUNGE ROCK BLUES" appeared on "Near Truths and Hotel Rooms" (2003). Only a few phrases are changed.]

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Songster Bob
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 04:58 PM

Mention has been made of the "TALKING GUITAR BLUES", attributed to a latter-day performer, but originally called "Red Foley's Talking Blues," I think, and picked up by most of us who do it from Woody Guthrie.

Mention has been made of my "TALKING FOLK MUSICIAN PURIST SNOB BLUES," with kind words for which I thank you. That one was based, in the opening line, anyway, on Woody's "TALKING DUST BOWL BLUES," which I've always liked a lot.

The original "TALKING BLUES" was recorded in 1926 by Chris Bouchillon, a string band performer whose singing voice was only so-so, so the producer said, "Why not just talk one of these songs? I really like the way you talk." The resulting number starts,

If you want to get to Heaven, let me tell you how to do it,
Grease your feet with a little mutton suet.
Slip right out of the Devil's hand,
And slide right over to the Promised Land.
Take it easy .... Go greasy!

Most "talking blues" ever since have used pretty much the same format, of two couplets followed by a laconic aside of questionable humor.

That's why I like 'em.

Bob Clayton

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Pontiac Joe
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 10:53 AM

I like Bromberg's BULLFROG BLUES

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,Sarah-HS
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 01:48 PM

Hmmmm. I wonder if this counts as talking blues: Hank Williams (as Luke the Drifter): "EVERYTHING'S OKAY"

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GeorgeH
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 01:38 PM

Peggy Seeger's "Talking Want Blues" is still my favourite . .

G.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: ddw
Date: 30 Jan 00 - 10:44 PM

There's a pretty good one in the digitrad called TALKING FOLK MUSICIAN PURIST SNOB BLUES that's pretty funny. Still, I think my favorite is still Paxton's TALKING POP ART.

david

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Lanfranc
Date: 30 Jan 00 - 06:29 PM

Phil Ochs "TALKING AIRPLANE DISASTER" sticks in my mind, along with Paxton's "TALKING POP ART" and TALKING VIETNAM POTLUCK BLUES"

OK, it's not quite in the standard meter, but how about "A BOY NAMED SUE" by Shel Silverstein - it's funny, talked and pretty much to a blues template?

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Mark Roffe
Date: 29 Jan 00 - 08:43 PM

Talkin' LSD blues, which I learned in the sixties from a Sing Out magazine. It began:

Well I was readin' in the paper, what did I see
There's a brand new drug called LSD
Some say it's good, some say it's bad
Some say it's the weirdest thing they ever had
Biggest thing since asprin...
Twice as controversial.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 00 - 07:45 PM

TALKING BIRMINGHAM JAM by Phil Ochs was pretty damn funny

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 29 Jan 00 - 02:44 AM

Woodie Guthrie's "TALKING FISHING BLUES" is a pretty good one.

--seed

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST,Benjamin
Date: 29 Jan 00 - 02:00 AM

HESITATION BLUES (Rev. Gary Davis)

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 09:41 PM

Maybe..........Talkin' Blues now equals cowboy Poetry??????

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Stewie
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 09:21 PM

My favourites are Dick Feller's 'LORD, MR. FORD', which still holds up pretty well after a couple of decades, and Ramblin' Jack's 'EAST TEXAS TALKING BLUES'. I'll post the lyrics as 'Lyr add' threads.

Cheers, Stewie.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 06:18 PM

this thread...all about nothing includes the TALKIN' NOTHIN' BLUES.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Micca
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 05:59 PM

There was a great one by Lonnie Donegan [TALKING GUITAR BLUES] in the 50s that went something like:

If you want to get in trouble let me tell you how to do it
get yourself a Guitar and then your right into it
you play all day and you play all night
people say you'll never learn to play the thing right
always messing about moaning at you, groaning,
won't let you practice

well I've got myself a guitar about a year ago
the man said I could learn it in a week or so
so I took the book, guitar and all
and went back home where the trees are tall,
down in Woodford, good place to be if you got a guitar
pretty rotten if you ain't.

Well, I like it along with the Tom Paxton TALKING VIETNAM POTLUCK BLUES which he did at the Royal Albert Hall with this wonderful guitar intro which he played 3 times with a dreamy vacant expression!!!

Subject: Lyr Add: RV BLUES (Kendall Morse & Smokey Green)
From: kendall
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 04:35 PM

THE RV BLUES
(Kendall Morse & Smokey Green)

If you want to get in trouble, I'll tell you how to do it
Get an RV and then you're into it
You fix all day and tinker all night,
never get the damn thing running right
Always breaking down, flat tires, fouled spark plugs.

I bought my rig about a year ago
The man said I'd own it in 10 years or so
So, I went to my banker, and he was soft
He knew I'd never live to pay it all off
Cost me every cent I had..or ever gonna have
Feeling trapped..stupid.

I jumped in that rig and headed south,
6 miles to the gallon living hand to mouth
I thought, "Oh well, I can live with this."
then the tranny refused to shift.
Some greaseball said it was the bands
I didn't hear no music,
He must have been tone deaf.

On I 81 the engine coughed,
I hit a bump and the muffler fell off
Like to caught my death in the snow and rain
Finally got it back together again
Still sounds like a tank.

The fridge worked good when the weather was cold
Then it warmed up and I had 3 kinds of mold
At 30 degrees the furnace quit, propane was gone, no place to buy it.

I got to Florida just the same,
heard it was warmer back home in Maine
Hope it warms up for my wife's sake
I told her the weather just had to break
Everything on the motorhome has.

I had a time at the dump station today
I pulled that handle, and the hose gave way
Got it all over me and the RV too
When I got done swearing the air was blue
People in the next camper was laughing
Then, the wind shifted.

Well, I cleaned her up as best I could
Went in to shower get rid of the crud
Got all soaped down went to rinse off
The friggin' water heater went off
ICE WATER never this cold when you want a drink..

I'd like to sell it and get off this kick
But, the payment book's about two feet thick
I'd lose my shirt if I sold it now
So, I'll keep fixin' keep it runnin' somehow
Feeling trapped.. HEY BUDDY..WANNA BUY A CAMPER?

^^

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 04:06 PM

Whatever happened to talking blues? I don't see them much anymore - maybe I'm not looking in the right places. One current TB that I enjoyed is called "TALKIN' CAVAN" on Tim O'Brien's new CD called The Crossing. It's about his search for distant relations in Ireland. The whole CD is a mix of bluegrass and Celtic musicians and styles. Great stuff - check it out.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: bobby's girl
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 03:38 PM

My vote definitely goes to Tom Paxton's TALKING VIETNAM POTLUCK BLUES - it's years since I first heard it but it still makes me laugh!

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Vixen
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 02:47 PM

My vote goes for the TALKIN' CANDY BAR BLUES.

I 'spect I'll get a round of groans for nominating "BLUES (MY NAUGHTY SWEETIE GIVES TO ME)"

V

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: TerriM
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 02:37 PM

How about ALICE'S RESTAURANT MASSACREE by Arlo Guthrie?

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: kendall
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 02:26 PM

IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T COUNTRY by Kendall Morse.

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Barbara
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 02:19 PM

"YOWZAH" and "IT DOES NOT PAY TO BE HIP" by Shel Silverstein are good too.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 01:31 PM

Either "TALKIN' CANDY BAR BLUES" by Paul Stookey or "TALKING VIETNAM POTLUCK BLUES" by Tom Paxton.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 01:26 PM

Dylan's TALKING WORLD WAR III BLUES.

Subject: Funniest Talking Blues Song
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jan 00 - 01:22 PM

Which song in the talking Blues format do you all find the funniest of the genre? [Many song titles in this thread have been converted to links by a Mudelf.]