Performance Anxiety

Subject: Performance Anxiety
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 02:15 PM

So, y'all, I have to play tonight and I'm just not into it. My father died three weeks ago today, then there's the PMS factor... we rehearsed last night and I felt like I just couldn't do anything right. I'm sure none of you have ever had days like this ;) but can anyone tell me how not to ruin my performance just because my attitude sucks right now? I am going to have a little chocolate ice cream, which might hold me for a few minutes.

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: MMario
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 02:27 PM

it's not easy - but sometimes you just have to put your life on "hold" for the length of a performance.

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 02:29 PM

This is a tough time for you Kim. I'm sorry about your father. I too, lost my dad, and I didn't have a song in my heart for a long time. All you can really do is "suck it up" and know that he wouldn't want you to be upset. A long walk today would help ... and try not to have any caffine, icecream gums up the vocal chords (but I'm sure you know all that stuff). Listen to some really upbeat music ... nothing reflective (sorry musicman!!) and I think you'll do ok! I'm pullin for ya! LL

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 02:46 PM

Now I'm feeling bad for saying not to listen to refective music. I highly recommend Musicman's CD "Farewell" it is THE most beautiful selection of music that soothes and heals the wounded heart. Go to Musicman's personal page to find out how to order it. Listening to it has helped me a great deal ... and that's why I'm in love with music ...for what it does to the spirit. So go out there and play Kim like you've never played before ...you never know who's heart you may be helping to heal. LL

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: GospelPicker (inactive)
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 03:36 PM

Kim,

I don't know you (I'm new here) but I will be praying for you in this time of your loss (I am a minister as well as a singer/player) and I have some advice:

Think very hard about what it is you value in a performance. Then realize that there will be people out there who value those same things, which is why they came out. Give to them what they came for, and let God give you what you come to Him for... healing and peace in your troubled and sad heart. I know that peace and if I can help share it with you, I would be glad to.

If you and your dad both have faith in God, you will meet again beyond the veil. Let me know of whatever I can do to be a friend in this rough time.

In His Love, Steve GospelPicker

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 03:41 PM

thanks y'all. I appreciate it so much.

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: mousethief
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 03:45 PM

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father. May his memory be eternal!

Sing your best. I imagine he will be listening too -- in that "invisible audience" -- and pulling for you! Sing for him, and for the love you shared.

Wish I could say more that would really help.

Alex
O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Ferrara
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 04:08 PM

Kim, my sympathy on the loss of your father. As for advice -- gospelPicker had great advice. Also about a year ago as I was waiting to go on stage someone gave me excellent advice: Try to feel that nervousness very clearly and see it as nervous energy. Then put that energy into your performance. It's really one of your strengths.

Another suggestion, geared toward your specific situation today: Sit back, as relaxed physically as you can manage (pillow or whatever it takes) and spend time visualizing yourself on that stage tonight. In that image, you are performing but you are not paying any attention to the fact that there's an audience out there, and not paying any attention to "how you sound." Your focus is *only on the music.*

I've found sometimes that focusing my attention on every note I play and every nuance of my voice is the best medicine against performance anxiety. You know those notes and chords, they're old friends; you know how you want to sound; you just move from one note to the next in a progression you know very well. Let the rest just go away. Then maybe the part of you that loves music will take over and the music will play itself.

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 04:45 PM

I've heard that some exercise an hour or two before you go onstage would help. Also don't forget to drink plenty of water{ but not so much that you'll have to leave the stage halfway through the performance }. If you think it's appropriate you might want to dedicate the performance to your dad early in the show to let the audience know how you are feeling. Good luck - everyone including your audience wants you to do well tonight.

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Morticia
Date: 14 Sep 00 - 05:45 PM

a wealth of good advice Kim to which I can add little but if it helps, my thoughts and I dare say lots of other mudcatters thoughts are right with you......imagine us all standing right behind you,and your dad standing with us.....all singing softly and cheering you on.

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Kim C
Date: 15 Sep 00 - 11:06 AM

Thanks to all of you. It actually went very well (although I had a screaming headache afterwards). One man told me I sounded like angels - I reckon that's what it's all about. :)

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 15 Sep 00 - 11:09 AM

I hope it went OK, Kim. Had I seen this thread in time, I would have said this; I played my first paid gig in a rowdy pub, singing and playing in a duo, when I was used to playing behind the 'stars'. That was a couple of years ago. I was told by someone whose judgement I trust, that I could do this stuff better than anyone else in the pub, so why feel inferior or unworthy?

I played the gig, and whilst I can't say I enjoyed it whilst it was happening, the adrenalin rush afterwards was fantastic, as we were congratulated by several punters. Also, we taped the performance, and the performance sounded far better the other side of the PA. We just looked as though what we were doing was easy, and the audience bought it, oblivious to the ab-dabs we were feeling below the surface.

But having said that lot, I've never done it with severe grief, and hormones to boot. Well done for just keeping on.

Skipjack

Subject: RE: Performance Anxiety
From: Wesley S
Date: 15 Sep 00 - 11:33 AM

I'm glad it went well also. I just wish all of us could have been there to hear it and cheer you on. Take care.