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BS: World's Shortest Joke
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Subject: World's Shortest Joke From: Jim Dixon Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:26 PM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'"Knock" "Who's there?" "Opportunity" |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: MarkS Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:28 PM "Fleas?" Adam hadem MarkS |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Naemanson Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:40 PM MarkS, you left out the proper title of your poem. An Ode On The Antiquity Of The Relationship Of The Flea To The Human Speicies Throughout The History And Prehistory Of The World. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bill D Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:49 PM shortest poem which tells a story
Sail someone wrote the shortest horror story.. "The last man on earth sat alone in his room. There was a knock on the door." one letter shorter: "The last man on earth sat alone in his room. There was a lock on the door." |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bill D Date: 19 Oct 00 - 09:50 PM wait...I thought the shortest JOKE was,"Take my wife..please." |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: GUEST,mousethief (at the library) Date: 19 Oct 00 - 10:09 PM This isn't a joke, but rather a story about a bungled pick-up attempt, but it's incredibly short, and it rhymes:
animation
Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: hesperis Date: 19 Oct 00 - 10:46 PM Knock Who's there? Knock-knees |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: dick greenhaus Date: 19 Oct 00 - 10:47 PM Shortest joke I know is: Bush (or if you prefer) Gore |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: GUEST,Al Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:07 PM Bill, the "last man" story was by Frederick Brown. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Gypsy Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:08 PM Or the universal "Presidential election", even better, the so called "Presidential Debates" |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: hesperis Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:08 PM You say it's the shortest joke, but it possibly has the longest history.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: GUEST Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:11 PM Celtic Music |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: catspaw49 Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:30 PM Well, this has gone a dozen post's without the obvious, so................Shortest joke in the world? Your c**k. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: hesperis Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:40 PM I don't have one, so I guess that's your c**k you're talking about, Spaw! |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: ddw Date: 19 Oct 00 - 11:47 PM The world's shortest joke can't be Gore — he's taller than Bush. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Ebbie Date: 20 Oct 00 - 12:56 AM Good one, david! |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Mark Cohen Date: 20 Oct 00 - 05:30 AM World's shortest cowboy song: Out in the West Texas town of El Paso One little kiss and Florina, goodbye (I have a feeling I may have gotten the name wrong, but then that would be the joke, right?) Then there's the Irish version: Out in the West Irish county of Mayo I fell in love with a Mayonnaise girl Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Clinton Hammond2 Date: 20 Oct 00 - 12:03 PM my favorite shortest joke int he world... So one night, this folk musician walks past a pub... {~` |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Margo Date: 20 Oct 00 - 12:33 PM Mark, I can see your roots. Mary Benson has chuckled about the Mayonnaise girl more than once in my presence... Margo :o) |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 20 Oct 00 - 12:42 PM Dick, the world's longest sick joke: One or the other. --seed |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Peter T. Date: 20 Oct 00 - 12:43 PM Longest word - smiles, because there's a mile between the first letter and the last. (grade 4 humour). yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Morticia Date: 20 Oct 00 - 01:38 PM A seal walks into a club. ( not very funny but short). |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Jim Dixon Date: 20 Oct 00 - 02:00 PM Henny Youngman - the popularizer of "Take my wife … please" - was known as the "King of the One-Liners" but my favorite master of one- (or two-) liners today is Stephen Wright. For example: "I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." "The sign at the restaurant said, 'Breakfast Served Any Time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance." |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Dharmabum Date: 20 Oct 00 - 02:11 PM GEORGE BUSH Tough as nails, And just as smart.
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bernard Date: 20 Oct 00 - 02:39 PM I said to the bartender 'Orange please!' 'Still orange?' 'Haven't changed my mind...' In the chip shop: 'Fish and chips twice' 'I heard you the first time...' |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: mousethief Date: 20 Oct 00 - 02:42 PM Paul Williams. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Trevor Date: 20 Oct 00 - 02:53 PM Dr : You're a hypochondriac Me : Oh no, not that as well! (courtesy T Cooper) |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Jim Dixon Date: 20 Oct 00 - 03:49 PM Trevor: That T-Cooper joke you posted may be closer to reality than you imagined. I once worked as a volunteer at a suicide prevention hotline. (Not everyone who called was suicidal. We accepted calls from just about anyone. I just call it that so most people will know what I'm talking about. It was similar to what is called The Samaritans in Britain.) I remember one caller who was upset because her shrink had told her she was "insecure." She reacted as if the doctor had told her she had cancer. She was practically sobbing when she asked me, "Do YOU think I'm insecure?" Now, how do you answer a question like that? Sometimes you had to laugh. But you had to wait till the call was over and laugh with your co-workers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Abby Sale Date: 20 Oct 00 - 05:15 PM Many folksong travesties are short - there's no point going any further than the point. Living nine years in Scotland, we never heard this song sung any way except: Amazing Grace, she had three tits... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bernard Date: 20 Oct 00 - 05:26 PM All my love, all my kissin' Kiss you on the left 'Cos the right one's missin' Oh boy... (etc) |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Max Tone Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:14 PM A pun |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Don Firth Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:29 PM World's shortest folksong (perhaps): You stole my wife You horsethief! (Recorded by Walt Robertson on Folkways) Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: wysiwyg Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:33 PM OK, didn't read all of this, guilty. Answer A: U. Answer B: I. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Morticia Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:33 PM another short folksong......My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf......so we sold it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Oct 00 - 06:49 PM Got a match? Yeah, your face and a horse's ass! Got a match? Yeah, my socks and your breath! And so on.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: rabbitrunning Date: 20 Oct 00 - 08:38 PM Shortest ghost story, which I first heard told by Jane Yolen at a convention. He awoke in the middle of the night and reached for the matches. And the matches were put into his hand... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Rollo Date: 20 Oct 00 - 10:21 PM What about: "spread your legs, faery queene! a wish is a wish!" I hope in english it's as funny as in german... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Fadac Date: 21 Oct 00 - 01:50 AM Hmmm, here are a few: Microsoft support. Citrix (If you ever saw this turkey run, you would laugh.) Banjo (Insert your favorite instrument) music. "Don't wait up for the shrimp boats, Ma. Your boy is comming home with the crabs." Ok that is a two liner. Broadcast music, radio. (tish, boom, tish, boom) -fadac |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Sorcha Date: 21 Oct 00 - 02:08 AM No Ok, it's not as short as the one Praise said. Hers was one letter, mine is two. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bernard Date: 21 Oct 00 - 02:52 AM The whistling gypsy stayed over the hill... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bernard Date: 21 Oct 00 - 02:54 AM Get down off the gas stove, Granny, you're too old to ride the range... |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Morticia Date: 21 Oct 00 - 10:44 AM 'Twas of the good ship Araldite....stuck fast in Plymouth Sound'? |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: pastorpest Date: 21 Oct 00 - 10:49 AM Here are short jokes under the category of "Lies". I'm from the government: I'm here to help you. Panty hose: one size fits all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Art Thieme Date: 21 Oct 00 - 11:14 AM SHORTEST JOKE: When Viagra doesen't work !
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Art Thieme Date: 21 Oct 00 - 11:16 AM The above is the shortest joke because there's no words for it ! Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Little Hawk Date: 21 Oct 00 - 11:18 AM Woody Allen |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Art Thieme Date: 21 Oct 00 - 11:38 AM Carl Sandburg said the world's shortest song was :
Papa loved mama, I sang this for over a decade before Garth Brooks used it and made a million bucks off of it. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Little Hawk Date: 21 Oct 00 - 11:51 AM I tried to write the world's shortest song once. Tried like hell. It ended up with 5 verses, 2 bridges, and one instrumental verse. It lasts about 4 minutes. I tried to write the world's longest song one time too, and darn near succeeded, but it's not quite finished yet. I'll keep you posted. Hey, this thread is supposed to be about short jokes isn't it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Trevor Date: 22 Oct 00 - 10:28 AM Two parrots on a perch. One says 'Can you smell fish?' |
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Subject: RE: BS: World's Shortest Joke From: Bernard Date: 22 Oct 00 - 10:47 AM Two fish in a tank. One says 'Is it my turn to drive?' |
