NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily

Subject: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 May 01 - 08:46 PM

Please Mudcatters, it is almost more than I can bear. I need your help for a family in need and my daughter.

My daughter just called. Her close friend's little 5 year old girl, little Bella aka Bellie has drowned while away for the weekend with her grandparents, her mother's parents; the only grandparents and parent she ever knew.

She was a wise little girl, an old soul, some of us say, who counseled and scolded her young mother that she needed to spend more time with her, her daughter, than with her social outings. The grandmother and mother used Bella as a pawn in a never-ending tug-of-war of "you shoulds" and "you don'ts." There are going to be some really tough times ahead for this family.

My daughter was so close to Bella, giving her as much love and attention as she could in her time off from work. Her heart is broken, at the moment, while she is with her friend, grieving and in shock. Little Bella even had my old chest of drawers which her grandma had refinished for her.

My daughter and I both feel there are some lessons this little soul came to teach. We both give thanks that in time, the family will realise this. We also give thanks that Bella knows she was loved and is at peace.

To paraphrase a favourite song, "How can I keep from crying...."

Thanks for listening, it helps. If you have kids, please hug them and keep them as safe as can be.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 01 - 08:49 PM

Kat,
I am sorry. It is inadequate but all I have to offer.
Mary

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Amergin
Date: 07 May 01 - 09:30 PM

Jesus, katdarling....they and your daughter, and you are all in my thoughts....

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 May 01 - 09:45 PM

For any parent under the best of circumstances, the loss of a child is often more than they can handle. I can only wish that somehow this loss will not destroy additional lives..........and that includes your daughter and indeed, yourself.

I find myself becoming an "old lady" as the boys grow up. Countless times everyday I worry about the multitude of things that could happen to them. I try hard to let them have the freedom to grow while sitting on them like an old mother hen. I hope I have found a happy medium for there are so many unknowns as to be completely numbing. It's the plight and the angst of any parent.

My best thoughts are theirs and yours........luvyakatmyluv......

Spaw

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Burke
Date: 07 May 01 - 09:45 PM

Words fail. A hug & more to you, your daughter, her friend.

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 May 01 - 10:54 PM

A heart left open must feel this as well as the rest. I bless you and pray you strength that you might always have one of that sort. And I share your confidence that the lessons folded up within this sad event will unfold and be made real when that is possible.

~Susan

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 May 01 - 11:11 PM

Oh, kat.....my heart is on the ground with this. You have helped me so many times, I want to help you with this one. There is nothing sadder than the death of a child, no matter whose she is.

Bella herself is now in another world but I will send healing, thoughts and prayers to her, her family and her friends. I can't imagine living through something like this, but I know parents have......mi bella carissima.

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: MMario
Date: 08 May 01 - 08:27 AM

hugs!

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: alison
Date: 08 May 01 - 09:15 AM

hugs prayers and thoughts......

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Morticia
Date: 08 May 01 - 10:57 AM

I am so sorry,I cannot imagine the horror and sorrow all of you must be feeling but my heart goes out to you and my good thoughts for a healing, in time, follows.

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: CarolC
Date: 08 May 01 - 01:28 PM

All of my best thoughts and wishes, and deepest sympathies, go to everyone involved.

Carol

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Kim C
Date: 08 May 01 - 01:44 PM

Oh Kat.... there are so many Other People's Children that I adore... if anything happened to them I would just be beside myself. Prayers and hugs for you and all.

Love --- Kim

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 May 01 - 02:27 PM

Thank you all so very much. It is a little better, today, although everyone is pretty much wiped out. This poor, poor family is going to have a lot to sort out. They went swimming up there to entertain a family friend who is visiting from Germany.

Both grandparents thought the other was watching her. The grandfather is a physician, and in the small town this happened in, they allowed him to be the attending physician in the ambulance and at hospital. It was a terrific job to get him to finally give up. The grandmother, a nurse, is blaming herself.

I had a beautiful meditation about little Bellie, herself, last night. I believe she knew. My daughter and I just hope that her mom and grandma can work out their differences and learn what must be a major life's lesson from this tragedy.

I am all in for a long nap this afternoon. If there is a Paltalk after the radio show I might join in; playing the dulcimore has helped.

Thanks, again,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Night Owl
Date: 08 May 01 - 02:31 PM

Dearest kat....I am so sorry to read this....sending you hugs and patience with the grieving process....and a tear from here in empathy for all involved.

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: GUEST,Dorrie
Date: 08 May 01 - 03:08 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this my heart is with u all dorrie xxx

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 08 May 01 - 03:24 PM

I can only join my voice to the love and support offered by all.

(((((((((HUG)))))))))

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Hollowfox
Date: 08 May 01 - 06:13 PM

My thoughts and prayers to you, and them, and her. And a candle in about an hour, when I get home.

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: GUEST,Dancing Mom
Date: 08 May 01 - 09:03 PM

I am going to grab all my kids right now and hug them. Even the one that's driving me nuts. (especially her.) I hope they can find some peace. Sharon

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: GUEST,Dancing Mom
Date: 08 May 01 - 09:04 PM

Let us know how they are doing.

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Nemesis
Date: 09 May 01 - 03:39 PM

Dear Kat, my heart goes out to all of you. We lost children in our family too and it is the most devastating thing ever. If you have "Compassionate Friends" (Bereaved Parents) Group near you they do a wonderful little book "Helping each other through a time of grief" that is almost unbearable to read but has some wonderful poetry and thoughts from people/grandparents/friends in a similar situation.

You could also try some homeopathic Ignatia .. any thing helps but mostly it is just time.

God bless, Hille

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 May 01 - 12:30 PM

Thank you, Challis, and everyone else. I will look into the Compassionate Friends and see if I can get the booklet for Bella's mom and grandparents.

Things have calmed down a little bit. They are having a celebration of Bella's life in a city park, tomorrow. They had a simple, very meaningful obituary in the paper with a picture of her. She was a beautiful little girl who loved her family, horse, and dog. Her mom, jennifer, still has not been able to face going home.

Her passing was really the result of a bunch of small factors which just added up the wrong way. She'd been going back and forth between the grandparents and their friends. No lifeguard on duty. She took off her flotation device to go down a slide. By the time they noticed she was missing it was just too late.

The hardest thing for me has been not seeing my own daughter this week, as she's been with Jennifer and at work; had to work extra hours to make up for taking Monday and Tuesday off to be with her. We've talked on the phone, but I am really longing to give her a big hug, which I will be able to do this weekend. It is amazing how strong the urge is to make sure your own kid is safe, even when they are all grown up and you've talked to them on the phone!

Thanks, again, for all of your help. I appreciate it more than I will ever be able to say.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: NonMusic - for little Bella & fmaily
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 11 May 01 - 03:24 PM

W e are thinking of you, Kat.
{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}