seeking funny I.R.A. Songs

Subject: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Rambam99
Date: 14 May 01 - 02:34 PM

I am trying to compile a list of all the TRULY funny IRA/ Anti-English Songs (preferably WITH lyrics!) This is in response to a friend of mine who asked after I took him to ST. Pats, and I couldn't think of any besides 'Johnson's Motor Car' and 'If I had a face like yours I'd join the British Army'. I've heard all the sad and angry ones like 'Patriot Game', but I'd like to know more of the funny ones they chant in Irish Bars. Anybody?

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 14 May 01 - 02:36 PM

"ten sticks of gelegnite" is pretty "funny".

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: NH Dave
Date: 14 May 01 - 02:41 PM

The Old Orange Flute.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Amergin
Date: 14 May 01 - 02:42 PM

well, there is God Bless England

never thought of Johnson's Motor Car to be funny....

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Robby
Date: 14 May 01 - 02:54 PM

You can always try Tommy Makem's "Remember Brave Lord Nelson, Boys".
"Moses, Ri-toor-a-li-ay" may not be an IRA song, but it is anti-British and funny, as well.
Good choice Amergin.
Robby

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,smitty
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:25 PM

howz about "the queen's petticoats"

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: pattyClink
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:33 PM

(Come Out Ye)Black and Tans

ya know, few war tunes are flat-out Funny. Ya want Upbeat and Rakish, you might get more of a selection.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: vectis
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:43 PM

Try to get hold of an old (1960's or early 70's) Wolftones recording of The Teddys Head or Give back our Teddy's Head. Treats a serious subject with dry humour.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Jock Morris
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:48 PM

Funny? IRA? Now there's a juxtaposition of terms if ever I saw one.

Nobody who's seen the aftermath of a family torn apart by their wife and mother being killed as a innocent victim of an IRA bomb could ever see anything funny in the IRA.

Scott

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,TJC
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:50 PM

Eire Og singing the SAM song, (surface to air missile) is a good rendition of the Brits worrying about the IRA's latest weapon!!!

"The Brits are looking worried"

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,rambam99
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:01 PM

i can live without the social commentary, this isnt the place for a lengthy discussion of the efficacy of alternative warfare. Folk music is oftyen visciously unfair, and that's a huge part of humor. ALL comedy is based on pain or loss of dignity. "anyone who says otherwise is selling something!"

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Jock Morris
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:33 PM

You are one sick puppy not wanting to consider that the 'funny song' you want to sing has the nasty truth behind it of wives, mothers, husbands, fathers and children slaughtered by IRA terrorists. I know many people from Northern Ireland, Protestant and Catholic, and they're no more oppressed by the British government than anyone else in the UK. The IRA's fight is a poor excuse for a few mindless thugs to cause carnage.

Now the oppression DID exist, but it has long since been consigned to the history books.

Scott

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Lanfranc
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:39 PM

A "funny" IRA song - How about Harvey Andrews' "The Soldier"?

Oxymorons of the world unite - I'm with you, Scott.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:43 PM

Scott Jock Morris, would you mind starting a thread to discuss this?? First off, I could debate you on your position all damn day, but the person who started the thread asked that it stick to the premise he started it on. Please respect his request, and start another thread if you feel the need to debate this. I will join you there, and we can have a go at each other if you would like, on this issue.

Rambam, I will look through some of my stuff to see if I can help. Did you do a supersearch on this?

Mick

Subject: Lyr Add: THE OLD ALARM CLOCK
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:02 PM

Lighten up, Jock. I've slagged the Provos a time or two myself in these threads, if you want to look back through my posts, but never forget it was British injustice that spawned the IRA. And if the song below doesn't raise a chuckle, there's something wrong with you. Don't know who wrote it - apologies to him or her, expecially if it's copyright. The tune is The garden where the praties grow.

THE OLD ALARM CLOCK
as sung by Dominic Behan around 1956, and later by the Dubliners.

When first I came to London in the year of 'thirty-nine
The city looked so wonderful and the girls were so divine
But the coppers got suspicious and they soon gave me the knock
I was charged with being the owner of an old alarm clock

Oh next morning down by Marlborough Street I caused no little stir
The IRA were busy and the telephones did burr(?)
Said the judge, I'm going to charge you with the possession of this machine
And I'm also going to charge you with the wearing of the green

Now says I to him, Your Honour, if you'll give me half a chance
I'll show you how my small machine can make the peelers dance
It ticks away politely till you get an awful shock
And it ticks away the geli-gu-nite in my old alarm clock

Said the judge, Now listen here, my man, and I'll tell you of my plan
For you and all your countrymen I do not give a damn
The only time you'll take is mine - ten years in Dartmoor dock
And you can count it by the ticking of your old alarm clock

Now this lonely Dartmoor city would put many in the jigs
The cell it isn't pretty and it isn't very big
Sure I'd long ago have left the place if I had only got
My couple of sticks of geli-gu-nite and an old alarm clock.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:14 PM

Jock, I posted before I'd seen your follow-up. The song I've posted refers to a period when the oppression was there in bundles, so feel free to have a little smile - I know countless Prods & Fenians who wouldn't mind at all.

But in future perhaps we should all wait until history, or some international court of justice has passed impartial judgment on any specific conflict, before we decide whether the songs that came out of that conflict were funny or not. Would that make you feel better, Jock?

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Jock Morris
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:18 PM

Gosh, maybe I am too sensitive; anybody got any funny KKK/anti-black songs? or how about a few humerous ditties about gassing Jews? Surely somebody out there has a truly hilarious song about the Oklahoma bomb?

What's wrong? Nobody laughing now?

Scott

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Jock Morris
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:26 PM

Fionn,

If someone came onto the Mudcat and started asking for anti-black songs or anti-gay songs or anti-semitic songs I doubt many folk would have a good word to say for them. Kindly explain why I should feel any different towards someone asking for anti-English songs.

Time we all stopped fighting and learned to live in peace.

Scott

Subject: Lyr Add: SAM SONG
From: GUEST,TJC
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:33 PM

SAM Song

Well I have been a Provo now for 15 years or more
with armalites and mortorbombs I thought I knew the score
but now we have a weapon, we've never used before
the Brits are looking worried - and their going to worry more!

(Chorus)
Tiocfaidh Ar La, sing Up the Ra
SAM Missiles, in the sky

I started off with petrol bomb and throwing bricks and stones
with a 100 more lads like me I never was along
but soon and learned that bricks and stones won't drive the Brits away
it wasn't very long before, I joined the IRA

(Chorus)

Then there came Internment in the year of '71
the Brits thought we were beaten that we were on the run
on that early August morning they kicked'in our back door
but for every man they took away, they missed a hundred more

(Chorus)

I spent eight years in the cages, I had time to think and plan
for though they locked away a boy, I walked out a man
and there's only one thing that I learned will in their cell I lay
the Brits will never leave us, until their blown away!

(Chorus)

All through the days of Hunger strike I watched my comrades die
while in the streets of Belfast you could hear the women cry
I can't forget the massacre that Friday at Loughgall
I salute my fallen comrades, as I watch the choppers fall

(Chorus)

HTML line breaks added --JoeClone, 30-Sep-01.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:33 PM

Because, Jock, I don't know of any controversy with regard to anti-semitism, racism as practiced by the KKK, or on the heinous nature of Tim McVeigh's act. There are plenty of differences of opinion on the British actions in the North of Ireland, and the efforts to rid/keep them there by the parties. I notice with interest that people like you always spit out the acronym "IRA" as if they were the scourge of the earth, but you never reference the terrorists/guerilla fighters from the other side.

But all that aside, won't you please honor the request of the starter of this thread and take your disagreement to another thread. If you choose not to, that is fine, but that makes every thread you start subject to hijack by others.

Mick

Subject: Lyr Add: LORD NELSON (Tommy Makem)
From: GUEST,TJC
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:38 PM

LORD NELSON
(Tommy Makem)

Lord Nelson stood in pompous state, upon his pillar high,
And down along O'Connell Street he cast a wicked eye.
He thought how this barbaric race had fought the British Crown,
Yet they were content to let him stay right there in Dublin town!

CHORUS: So remember Brave Lord Nelson, boys. He has never known defeat,
And for his reward they stuck him up in the middle of O'Connell Street!

For many years, Lord Nelson stood, and no one seemed to care.
He would squint at Dan O'Connell who was standin' right down there.
He thought, "The Irish love me or they wouldn't let me stay,
All except that band of blighters that they call the IRA!"

And then in nineteen sixty-six, on March the seventh day,
A bloody great explosion made Lord Nelson rock and sway!
He crashed, and Dan O'Connell cried, in woeful misery.
Now twice as many pigeons will come and shit on me!

CHORUS (final) So remember brave Lord Nelson, boys. He has never known defeat!
And for his reward they blew him up in the middle of O'Connell Street!

Copyright 1967, 1969 Tiparm Music
@Irish @rebel
filename[ LORDNLSN
AJS

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:38 PM

How about Sister Josephine? The IRA guy hiding in a convent... teaching the young nuns poker and so on? I can probably post the lyrics if you want, I'm pretty sure I know the whole song.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:01 PM

Hi Scott: I am not very good with computer, however, others who are better at this than I, can direct you to earlier posts on the subject of wether or not the IRA was, before the present moment, a terrorist organisation. In fact, I had a protracted discussion with RIchard Bridge, an Englsih lawyer, of cases in US courts, a slightly less than nuetral environment, (due to NATO's involvement in the cold war politic behind the northern political situation). In these cases, most promenantly that of IRA Vol. Joe Doherty, US courts ruled that the IRA was not a terrorist organisation. On the other hand, the SAS has carried out extra judicial killings and made war on civilian populations. I have in the past, and continue to call for a process of truth and reconcilliation so that we on opposit sides of the politics and fighting in this terrible time can shake hands and get on with a future of peace without bitterness.
Richard and I began on a bad foot in the discussion, but we persisted in listening to each other, and I can say we are both pleased with the resulting friendship and growing understanding - though we still dissagree strongly on smoking in pubs! (cheers, Richard!)
On the main theme of this post ther eis the Man from the Daily Mail, The Bog Side Doodle Bug, the resitation Hughes Bakery Van,.
Best wishes for peace
Larry Otway
PS As a northern protestant republican, I disagree that the IRA is motivated by prejudice as is the KKK, rather, Ian Paisly recieved his "doctorate" from Bob Jones University in the US, which untill a few years ago, did not allow inter racial dating, and has real ties to the KKK. Peace.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:06 PM

Spot on with that second song, TJC, but I couldn't see much humour in first, immortalising catastrophes like Loughgall (when the lads went off to do the business and walked into an SAS ambush, which seemed like a fair cop to me - except that an innocent civilian got killed too).

Jock, send me your zipcode/postcode and I'll try to get repeats of Dad's Army and MASH taken off air in your street. Too bad so many copies of Catch-22 slipped through the net - not sure we can retrieve 'em now. Don't know if you remember the Marty Feldman parody of the Battle of Britain, in which The Few were London cabbies, instead of fighter pilots? The best part of it was that the RAF registered a formal complaint! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Rambam99
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:10 PM

Seeing as how I'm the guy who started this, and who just got home from work - lemme address a few things:

1. I'M Jewish, and yes, There ARE some funny anti-Semitic songs, cruel and unfair as they may be.

2. Anyone who has studied the birth of the state of Israel closely will have learned a couple things. Firstly (if you're in the mood to hate), that the Jews of the mandate days could teach even the Irish a thing or two about why you should hate the Brits F***ing colonialism in places they don't belong, and secondly, that constant terror attacks CAN and DO work, if the local population is hugely against an occupying force. This is something that Israel is learning herself right now in the Gaza strip, isn't she?

3. (You are gonna love this) I am actually quite an Anglophile. The Brits are great folks most of the time, and even when they are enemies they are still interesting. I personally believe that the need (and YES, Dammit! There WAS a need!!!) for the bomb throwing days of the Provos has ended. When was this? A couple of years ago when the Easter accords were signed. The Injustices of the past are unfixable, and the only way Ireland can move forward is to accept that.

4. Glorying in past triumph, strength, and emotion is not a sin. Since America has no stronger or better ally in the world than England, perhaps she should abandon the Star Spangled Banner or Yankee Doodle? I can forgive the English (or the Germans, or my own people, or any who commit crimes,) but we must NEVER FORGET! To that end, I love to occasionally get sloshed at Shaebeen's pub, sing Come out Ye Black & Tans, and root for any nation to knock England out of the World Cup. If that is the extent of my animosity, can anyone fault me?

Nationally Conscious, and American History Teacher, Rambam99

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:24 PM

A belter of a post, Rambam99!

Larry, I know you're hopelessly blinkered on the Irish stuff *BG* but you manage to make a damn sight more sense out of a set of pipes than I ever will. And if by any chance you could lay hands on the lyrics for The Man from the Daily Mail I would even consider giving a certain NY band another plug. Takes me straight back to Saturday afternoons in the Old House bar, 30 years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,TJC
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:25 PM

You obviously haven't heard Eire Og singing this song. Funny isn't the word to describe some of the lines but the first verse is quite humorous.

Subject: Lyr Add: MAN FROM THE DAILY MAIL
From: GUEST,TCJ
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:37 PM

MAN FROM THE DAILY MAIL

Now Ireland is a very funny place, sir
It’s a strange and a troubled land.
And the Irish are a bloody funny race, sir
Every girl is becoming a man.

They march to the German goose step,
And whistle Emanuel,
And it wouldn't be surprising, if there be another rising,
Said the man from the Daily Mail.

Every bird flying overhead,
Is whistling treble, I’m a rebel.
Every hen is laying hand grenades over there sir,
I declare sir.

And every cock in the farmyard stock
Crows a triumph for the Gael,
And it wouldn't be surprising if there be another rising
Said the man from the Daily Mail.

Do you want more?

HTML line breaks added --JoeClone, 30-Sep-01.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:01 PM

Well done, Ramban! And the rest o' youse layabouts...............you are just about ready for the big leagues of layaboutdom. There are no spots vacant on the roster of Swan, Patterson, Fielding & Lane, but youse could start a team of your own..........We would, of course, whip yer worthless arses in the World Series of Layaboutness.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Celtic-End Singer
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:12 PM

I was always rather fond of the "Fenian Record Player".

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 May 01 - 08:03 PM

There was one on a record called Forces go Folk, possibly published in Germany, called Seamus the Bomber.... all about a bloke who made bombs

Seamus was a bomber,
He made bombs from dusk till dawn

and it had a verse about him dousing the cat in parrafin and setting it alight. 'A lovely man is Seamus, for sure and here's the truth, he's the oly man could ever make a cat go woof.

Can't remember the words or the singer (typical....) but there we go.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Noreen
Date: 14 May 01 - 09:16 PM

GUEST,Rambam99, I have no wish to hijack your thread and I would have put this in a personal message to you if you were a member.

I have no objection whatsoever to you asking for these songs, and many of them may indeed be funny at the right time and in the right place. I take issue with the tasteless wording of your question and particularly the thread title (which I think may have been Scott's objection too).

When posting to this international forum (also a community which means a great deal to me) a little sensitivity can avoid others being needlessly upset. If you want to discuss this further and can't join the Mudcat, you can e-mail me at [e-mail] to avoid taking further space in this thread

Noreen
(brought up in England of Irish parentage)

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 May 01 - 09:19 PM

I'd forgotten about how to make a cat go woof, thanks!

Subject: Lyr Add: MAN FROM THE DAILY MAIL
From: InOBU
Date: 14 May 01 - 10:14 PM

Now Ireland is a very funny place, sir.
It's a strange and a troubled land.
And the Irish are a very funny race, sir.
Every girl's in the Cumman n'Ban.
Every doggie has a tricolor ribbon tied firmly to his tail.
I'm shakin' in me shoes
For I red it in the news,
Said the man from the Daily Mail.

CHORUS: Every bird, upon my word, is singing treble, "I'm a rebel."
Every hen is laying hand grenades over there, sir, I declare, sir.
And every cock of the barnyard stock is crowin' for the Gael
And it wouldn't be suprisin'
If there'd be another risin'
Said the man from the Daily Mail.

Oh, the other day I traveled down to Clare, sir.
There I spied me an old borreen.
Such a bunch of Fenians where there, sir,
Dressed in orange, white and green.
They were marchin' to the German goose step, and singing Grannia Mhale,
And it wouldn't be surprising,
If there be another rising,
Said the man from the Daily Mail. CHORUS

Oh, the country is seeded with sedition.
It's Sinn Fein through and through.
All the people are joining the provisionals
And the password Sinn Fein too.
Oh, the IRA they sent me a time bomb in the mail,
Ah bejazus and begorrah
I'll be getting out tomorrah
Said the man from the Daily Mail.

Something like that. Cheers, - all the best Fionn!
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 14 May 01 - 11:01 PM

Another Nelson one is Nelson's Farewell.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: marty D
Date: 14 May 01 - 11:36 PM

Lanfranc, I saw Harvey Andrews several times when I lived in the UK, and I'm familiar with "The Soldier". What's your problem with the song? I remember it as a ballad about a heroic act. Very touching. I know there was something in it about some of the people being glad the soldier died, but it's hardly pro-IRA or Pro British, just individuals caught in a drama. Am I remembering it wrong? I have no axe to grind on this issue by the way.

marty

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 15 May 01 - 05:00 AM

LOL, Liz! And thanks Larry - that's a pint of Guinness I owe you by nowe, preferably bottled by P & F McGlade.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 15 May 01 - 05:15 AM

By the way, Rambam, just remember we're an international community here, and it would help if you posted in Esperanto.

Not strictly IRA, but does anyone recognise these lines, and is the tune that goes with them the Ash Grove? (Know the tune, just not sure about its name.)

I'm teaching them Irish and painting pillar boxes
All over in green, sure what more can I do?
But they tell me they want just and Irish Republic
Without any trimmings of red, white and blue.

I'd have been with Collins on the free-state side of the barney, but it's a great song. Wish I could remember the rest of it, and who sang it.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Joe
Date: 15 May 01 - 05:22 AM

Hello Well Scott you know what If the British Government was so worried about the loss of life from so called terroists acts why the hell don't they give back the rest of Ireland such as they did India and Hong kong. I also know the British wouldn't do such things as shell a city full of innocent people now would they or maybe that one Irish folk song is just a bunch of blarney

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Grab
Date: 15 May 01 - 08:27 AM

Joe, it's rather because the people living there voted by a majority to stay with Britain. Democracy's a bugger that way.

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 15 May 01 - 09:48 AM

It is always interesting which (funny) songs seem acceptable or not depending upon the background of the person in question. See Mrs. Stein doesn't rent to gypsys anymore.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 15 May 01 - 09:59 AM

Fionn-- Lyrics are in DigiTrad; tune is the Ashgrove.

Subject: RE: BS: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:22 AM

Dear Grab, when you force the majority out of a territory through unfair employment, torture, arrest without warrant, unegual access to housing, in some places un fare voting paterns - such as the 2 for one voting in Derry, well, Democracy is not the word for it. By simple birth rate there would have been a nationalist majority decades ago without the above conditions.
All the best Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 15 May 01 - 03:49 PM

There's a *very* rude song with a chorus about "rubber bullets for the ladies, six inches long and two inches thick", but I can't remember any more of it.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Can't help but wonder
Date: 15 May 01 - 03:58 PM

Noreen, you remind me of a woman in a Government office in Dublin in the 50's. She got excited when I spelled my name in the short form. It was as if the world would end. Well it didn't.

If any should be complaining here it would be me or some of the other Ex Pats ( sorry about that one ) in the USA or OZ etc. In my case I could not bear the confict between those I knew and valued, even friends. It is over OK the people TG have voted. I applaud their humanity and courage. One could go on for ever about the loss of a good life - I certianly had one - but what would that achieve?

I recall meeting a fellow in the UK who at the time was an unwilling and recent emigrant from the North. I found out from the locals both sides had promised him an early ticket to the here-after because he would not join either. The man was constantly drinking, can we blame him?.

I never did bother to find out which religion he was, we never thought that relevant in the Uk.

It is time to let it go! This thread does not offend me, I see it as the inevitable laughter after years of tension and war. It is badly needed.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 May 01 - 04:22 PM

I think most on this thread know me for my views on Anti-Brit songs in particular so you may find it odd that I don't object to this in the slightest. I think the best way of being drawing attention to any situation you don't like is to poke fun at it. I don't mind in the slightest having the 'mad dogs and englishmen' tag or being laughed at for liking bland food or whatever. Far better than having hateful songs sung about me. At least I can laugh along with the funnies!

Chip in my bit. My mum loves Irish rebel songs and we had a few albums of them. The only funny one I remember was to the 'wearing of the green' tune and had the refrain 'My Father he was orange and my Mother she was green.' Can't remember any more though.

One of our local songwriters, Stanley Accrington, does a cracker as well about the Manchester bombing when amongst all the wreckage a post-box was left in tact. Finishes up with "It's a postbox, Pat, postbox Pat, postbox Pat, what do you think about that?" Lost on anyone who has never seen 'Postman Pat' but hilarious all the same. BTW - the postbox now has a plaque on it!

Keep on taking the p**s instead of shooting and we would all be better off:-)

Cheers

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: ollaimh
Date: 15 May 01 - 04:56 PM

to jock morris.

it seems you are the one who won't let others live in peace.when you and your ilk stop insting on you right to silence others there might be peace.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,rambam99
Date: 15 May 01 - 05:50 PM

I'd like to thank everyone who contributed to my request, and rest assured I am cataloguing your selections now, I hope more will be posted, as well as any funny Irish song (odds are I already have everything the Clancy Bros did)

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:24 PM

The sad thing, is we workers are hurling invective at each other, while the plutocrat bastards who created the cold war, which was the engine for the war in Ireland, as well as so many other places, are laughing so hard the champaine is coming out their noses. Let's wise up and have a truth and reconcillation process. We are all the pig in the middle - not just the fellas in uniform.
Any wonder why England suddunly felt it could talk with the IRA, the same year that the Soviet Union went under, and Irland cast aside it's nuetrality and allowed nato to refuel during the Gulf War? Big nations like the US and England don't fight little nations just for fuck's-sake, they do it for big rotten reasons, and if we get blinded by the politic of the last outrage, we loose, they win.
SO in that light, I continue to put a hand out to any on either side, who will sit down and talk, honestly and openly.
Slan
Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:26 PM

PS To any younger mudcatters who may be offended by the language in my post, I appologise. Sometimes grownups get a wee bit out of control, after seeing badness. - Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:31 PM

I have just remembered something my Grandad used to tell me. He was in the Black and Tans in 1919 but was often mistaken for a local in the village he was stationed in and invited for a pint in the bar. Sat there one night with a pint of the black stuff in front of him he was approached by a man who said 'Get back to where you came from you English bastard'.

My grandad wiped the froth of his moustache and asked 'Where's that then? Salford, Dublin, the Somme or the bread line?'

The Irish guy looked at him with a puzzled expression and then began to laugh. They both ended up roaring drunk and with my grandad on 'jankers'. Dunno if it was true but I like to think so.

Keep 'em laughing

DtG

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Lanfranc
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:33 PM

Irony, Marty, irony!

A British trait, along with getting mixed up in inexplicable inextricable religious turf wars that other nations sensibly leave alone. (cf India, Cyprus, Palestine, etc.)

Funny thing is, apart from one Flanders and Swann song (and that has a decidedly nonPC go at the Scots and Welsh as well), I can't think of any British anti-Irish songs. That either proves what a long-suffering, noble race we Brits are, or offers scope for another thread.

Make music, not war!

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Neil Comer
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:40 PM

I am a young Mudcatter who said that he wouldn't post to this thread anymore. However, could you all please lighten up? Someone requested a song. I have answered threads in the past about Orange Songs (despite the fact that the whole concept of Orangism galls me to the core) and would have no problem about answering threads about anti-semitism and racist songs (again above feeling applies)Pendantics have caused the vast magjority of problems in the world- please do not let them ruin music)

Beir bua

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:51 PM

Apologies Dick, I did look once and failed to find that song. Maybe The Old Alarm Clock (lyrics posted farther back up the thread) is in there too, but if so I failed to find it.

Grab, Larry (InOBU) has let you off a bit lightly. You need to remember that the island of Ireland was one country until Westminster and the northern unionists insisted on partitioning it (Collins & co only agreeing the treaty package under threat of immediate war). Ever wondered how they came to draw the line just where they did? If they had run it round the whole of Ulster, or even just run it a few miles south of where it is, there would have been no union majority even in the north. For a more scholarly exposition of the Boundary Commission's work, read Puckoon by Spike Milligan. Rolling off my seat just thinking about it!

So it's a marvellous thing, this democracy - you can use it almost any way you like.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,skarpi Iceland at home
Date: 15 May 01 - 07:04 PM

Halló all, how about " Johnsons motor car " or " Off to Dublin " or Wearing of the green " hmmmmmm I know there are some more but i cant remember at the moment . All the best skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 15 May 01 - 10:12 PM

Hey Scarpi! Good to hear your ... well see yer type! Great story, Dave the Gnome! Cheers all, Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Joe
Date: 16 May 01 - 04:38 AM

hello ViVat Larry you are quite correct ,and by the way Graham did the rest of Ireland get to vote if the Brits stayed in the Northeren part of their country or was it just those in the North part Of Ireland and Who came up with the vote the Brits In the first damn place? the song Teddy bears head should clear that up.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: paddymac
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:54 AM

Funny RA songs? Guess my fav would be "My Old Man's a Provo" Don't know if it's in the DT or not. I'll take a look later, and post the lyrics if it's not.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:03 AM

A funny song about politics in Northern Ireland is The Battle of Stormont though it is neither an IRA nor an orange song. I doubt that Sands would write a similar song now after all those years of violence and death. But it was a good song at its time.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:16 AM

Hang on, Wolfgang, there was more years of violence and death before he wrote it than after. Even just in Ireland.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: alison
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:59 AM

I'm not going to get into any arguments...... just responding to a request for songs.....

I won't sing IRA songs.. same as I won't sing orange songs.. because there's always someone out there who might be offended....

but I do like the lid of my granny's bin

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 May 01 - 09:57 AM

Now I have to interpret here for THE FAIR ONE, ................. LOL. That is a great song, m'love. Haven't heard it in ages.

Mick

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Fiolar
Date: 16 May 01 - 01:15 PM

To Dave the Gnome: While not wishing to state that his grandfather may have been stretching the truth just a little bit :-)a few things to straighten the record.The first "tans" arrived in Ireland in March 1920. It is highly unlikely that any Black and Tan would wander into a pub on his own in Ireland at that time.As for being mistaken for a local, pull the other one. If he did as he stated then he must have been a very very lucky man indeed or the local IRA men must all have been asleep. On a more serious note, the tans' favourite method of transport was to roar around the country side in lorries shooting at anything which took their fancy. My grandmother was once the target of such behaviour. Near the town where I went to school is a memorial to a catholic priest who was out for a walk one evening when he met a party of tans who were tormenting a mental handicapped lad. When he remonstrated, they shot him and threw his body over a hedge.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 01 - 04:07 PM

Sorry Fiolar - I stand corrected! Nice story though anyway - why spoil it with the facts;-)

It was my error that assumed 1919 though coz I knew he did not leave the army after WW1 and re-join - I have seen his service record. Not sure what he did that year now then! Perhaps a pre-curser to the B&T's? Perhaps he was not a 'tan but an ordinary squaddie in Ireland? Any help anyone?

Grandad Stanley was a great guy anyway. I have got his medal and certificate awarded him in France during WW1 for saving a little girl from drowning in a well. He was so proud of that and of the story he told about an officer ticking him off for wearing his medal ribbon backwards - until he pointed ot it was a French medal! He also had the back of his tongue shot off during that conflict - bullet went in one cheek and out the other. As well as loosing his sight in one eye during a gas attack. I hope to God I will never know such suffering.

I still believe - even though there is evidence that the B&T's were volunteers - that he was 'drafted' as were a lot of other people from Salford, Leeds and Liverpool because of the large Catholic poplations of those areas. This was due to the ridiculous idea that the 'brass' had that the republicans would not shoot 'at their own'!

As in any conflict there is good and bad. I am sure that there were the 'shooters from lorries'. Likewise there were the ones who wanted no more violence after the deprivation of the trenches. There have been attrocities on both sides. I will never know if the story was the whole truth, I suspect not and said as much earlier, but I did believe Grandad when he tells me he got on well with the Irish. He was that sort of bloke.

Lets leave it at that and have a good laugh with these songs over a pint of the black stuff eh?

Cheers

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 01 - 04:29 PM

And just remembered again (Must stop doing this - I'm getting like the TV detective, Columbo. "Oh, just one more thing...")

A company I once worked for received a large package with "IRA" stamped all over it. The guy in the postroom, exceedingly bright as you can tell, thought it might be a bomb so put it in a pail of water (huh???) and called the police.

Police arrived, evacuated the premises and eventualy called us all back in. As we walked through reception we all saw multiple copies of a very soggy leaflet explaining.....

The Industrial Relations Act!!!!

And the same guy used to tell Irish jokes. True - and if anyone wants to make it into a song be my guest.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Antóin
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:04 PM

"Funny IRA songs they sing in Irish bars". Well, I visit a fair few bars myself and seldom hear any IRA songs, "funny" or otherwise. And if they are song, they usually don't receive a very enthusiastic reception. But then I actually live in Ireland, would I be wrong in surmising that the bars referred are in the States and probably frequented by Plastic Paddies.

One of Those who didn't take the boat.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Dear Antoin
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:27 PM

T'would be funny if I knew you were serious, but you ain't so it's not funny.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Nemesis
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:30 PM

"I am actually quite an Anglophile. The Brits are great folks most of the time, and even when they are enemies they are still interesting.",

"why you should hate the Brits F***ing colonialism" ...", etc....

"I can forgive the English .." Oh, how f***ing outrageously BIG of you!

Can I just point out that as a British woman (of very "mongrel" heritage - family interned as "enemy") I have never been an occupying force anywhere, I have never declared war, I have never been anyone's "Colonial Master", disagree with my taxes being used for arms exports, heinous environmental decisions (Balfour Beatty dams - flooding and displacing people and British tax payers money being used to fund it via tax breaks, etc.,) and basically take issue with unethical terrorist actions of Government regardless of its political persuasion. And neither has anyone else I know!

so, WHATEVER the nature of this thread

British Government does these things not the "Brits" or the "English". Discern the difference between British people and British Government - who, at least publicly since Thatcher's time, have been on some kind of war footing with its citizens as the enemy.

Enjoy your thread.

Hille

Subject: Lyr Add: THE ORANGE AND THE GREEN
From: GUEST,Eclipse
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:33 PM

Dave the gnome wrote:
"'My Father he was orange and my Mother she was green.' Can't remember any more though. "

This song is called "THE ORANGE AND THE GREEN." The Irish Rovers recorded a version of this sometime in the 70's. I've seen this song redone to match any two warring sides. It's probably on the database but it goes:

CHORUS: Oh, it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen.
My father, he was Orange and me mother, she was Green.

My father was an Ulster man. proud Protestant was he.
My mother was a Catholic girl. from county Cork was she.
They were married in two churches, lived happily enough,
Until the day that I was born and things got rather tough.

Baptized by Father Riley, I was rushed away by car,
To be made a little Orangeman, my father's shining star.
I was christened "David Anthony," but still, in spite of that,
To me father, I was William, while my mother called me Pat.

With Mother every Sunday, to Mass I'd proudly stroll.
Then after that, the Orange lodge would try to save my soul.
For both sides tried to claim me, but I was smart because
I'd play the flute or play the harp, depending where I was.

Now when I'd sing those rebel songs, much to me mother's joy,
Me father would jump up and say, "Look here would you me boy.
That's quite enough of that lot." He'd then toss me a coin
And he'd have me sing The Orange Flute or The Heroes of the Boyne.

One day me ma's relations came round to visit me
Just as my father's kinfolk were all sitting down to tea.
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight.
And me, being strictly neutral, I bashed everyone in sight.

My parents never could agree about my type of school.
My learning was all done at home. That's why I'm such a fool.
They've both passed on, God rest 'em, but left me caught between
That awful color problem of the Orange and the Green.

Double ChorusHTML line breaks added --JoeClone, 30-Sep-01.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Eclipse
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:36 PM

Hmmm... seems the line breaks didn't always work Middle verses are With Mother......depending where I was Now when.....Heros of the Boyne One day..... bashed everyone in sight.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Eclipse
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:38 PM

sigh, I give up... hope you get the idea, the middle is three verses.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 16 May 01 - 08:54 PM

Freddy McKay,who hadn't got a bigoted bone in his body,always used to sing "The Old Orange Flute" together with "The Fenian Record Player" so that nobody would be offended,or perhaps so that everybody would. I doubt if he minded much.He also had a very funny song called "The Bravest Man" about a young innocent who joins in a singing session in an unfamiliar bar - and sings the wrong song.

I don't know if any of these lyrics are in the database.If they are not then I will try and transcribe them if anyone wants them.

There is an article on Freddie McKay on the Musical Traditions website.(I'm new to Mudcat and I don't know how to indicate links yet).

Matthew

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 16 May 01 - 08:58 PM

Another thread that went to Hell. I read it through hoping to find songs, but most contributors just filled it with their 2-bit opinions. The IRA songs with humorous content (or without) are important to social history and thought (gee! that sounds pedantic). They teach us about the past and present from the viewpoint of the little guy on one side of the conflict. They are a means of dealing with our emotions and give us a chance to let off steam. I now wonder if there are similar songs from the other side- don't recall any.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 17 May 01 - 04:33 AM

Rubber bullets (for the ladies) has been mentioned above. I've posted the lyrics in another thread in order not to bury them in the middle of a political discussion. I'm with the majority in the 'Preserve politicall incorrect songs' thread and with those here that state that we can learn from songs about history and feelings in a time even if those songs might hurt the feelings of a group. It is worth preserving them even if you would not sing them either without a comment or at all.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 17 May 01 - 10:01 AM

Antóin, like you I know backwaters of Ireland where people haven't got the first idea of their own history and heritage and have had their minds closed to politics (often by catholic clerics, who did a pretty fine job of propping up the British Empire in years gone by). Sounds like you've yet to explore the bars of Dundalk, Crossmaglen and west Belfast, among others.

Fiolar, I also thought DtG's feeble anecdote had a somewhat implausible ring to it, but maybe his grandad had adopted the traditional Irish greeting "Top o'the morning!" in which case you can see how the confusion could arise.*BG*

Dave, possibly the Tans did, inadvertantly, let the occasional decent geezer slip through the net and into their ranks, but they were sent to Ireland to behave like murdering thugs, and lived up to the task fairly convincingly. The idea that they fraternized with, and passed seamlessly into, the local population is frankly risible.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 17 May 01 - 10:12 AM

A note about the Black and Tan story... As we all know, from Sean Tracy's great book, or Dan Breen's book, there was different treatment of British regiments in Ireland during the 1919 Anglo Irish war, depending on how they treated civilians and Republican prisoners, for example, if memory serves, the Essex regiment were particularly despised for using a fake surrender as a way of getting Tracy's men to stand up and accept surrender, only to fire on them when they showed themselves.
When I first read the story, I though there may be an eliment of oral tradition at work here, and as the old boy got older, adopted the term Black and Tans to refer to himself, as one of any of the regiments which fought in Ireland, as an old friend of mine who fought in 1919 refered to his rifle as "my old Fienian gun", though of course he was much to young to have been involved in the Fienian uprising... to give our brother the benifit of the doubt. At least it shows the class identity we hope for, us against them (worker v. those who own our labour) eh?
Anyway, as storys go... it deserves a drink... and a song in responce.
Cheers, Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 17 May 01 - 10:21 AM

Perhaps Antoin doesn't want to visit bars where funny/pro-(insert-any-terrorist-organisation-here) songs are being sung? I certainly don't, and have left pubs before when I didn't want to hear what was being sung... in much the same way that I don't participate in threads on Mudcat that I find offensive.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Tommy C
Date: 17 May 01 - 11:03 AM

The Crumlin Kangaroos.

Song about a football team who escaped from Crumlin Rd Gaol in the early 70's. All I can remember is the chorus:

And it's here and up your a**e now, and a Georgie Best to you. There's not a team it the whole wide world, than the Crumlin Kangaroos.

Now as the warders watched, the passing of the ball, One of the bloody football teams, went up and over the wall.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 May 01 - 06:22 PM

Feeble anecdote!!! I resemble that remark. There is nothing feeble about my anecdotes. (What does anecdote mean btw???) Retract at once Sirrah, or I shall be forced to write stong words to the times!

Seriously though folks - this is realy enlightening me. I know Grandad was in Ireland in 1919. I know he was not the type of man portrayed by Fionn. I can only come to one conclusion now I guess - he was not a 'tan! In WW1 he went to join the Lancs fusiliers but by some strange quirk of fate ended up in the Welsh fusiliers. Anyone know if that crew ended up in Ireland? What Larry says makes a lot of sense and I guess he cold have been with one of the 'favoured' regiments. Any views?

Oh, and Fionn. I don't think he could have got away with 'Top o'the morning' in his thick Lancashire accent. Any more than anyone can get away with attempting to mask potentialy insulting comments with contrived scholarly statements and unecessary emoticons. Do you? Good job I wasn't realy insulted isn't it *BG* ;-) :-0

Cheers

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Shields Folk
Date: 17 May 01 - 06:29 PM

Fionn, decent ordinary geezers do terrible unordinary things, read Christopher Brownings 'ORDINARY MEN'

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 May 01 - 06:45 AM

Out of interest this thread has set me on a quest! I have decided to dip my toe into the waters of history and get some better information about what my Grandad was actualy doing in Ireland after WW1. I would appreciate any information on thread - Non-Music: Lancashire fusiliers in WW1.

See you soon and, as I said before, keep laughing. It's far better than throwing bombs!

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 18 May 01 - 12:40 PM

Shield Folk, you're dead right there. And Fib, Antóin said this: But then I actually live in Ireland, would I be wrong in surmising that the bars referred are in the States and probably frequented by Plastic Paddies. If he simply avoids such bars, it would hardly be reasonable to imply that such bars don't exist. Still, I'm glad you haven't found the thread too offensive for your participation!

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Amergin
Date: 18 May 01 - 02:53 PM

I didn't see Nell Flaherty's Drake mentioned either.....which is supposed to be about Emmet.....

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Merlin
Date: 19 May 01 - 12:13 PM

Why anti-English songs are funny and ant-gay, black, semetic, etc. songs are not. Are English people currently being shot to death for their religon, skin-color or sexual orientation? Is there a civil war involving English versus someone else currently causing massive fatalities? Are English people denied legal marrige and called evil by multiple religons? Have English people been denied equal rights and freedom for 400+ years? Are English places of worship regularly bombed or defaced? Are there colleges that spout hatred of the English, and have the support of large governments? Is the clergy of the Church of England regularly killed or imprisoned in various countries? The answer to most, if not all of the above questions is no. If the 800 year long bloody, tragic history of England in Ireland can be reduced to history books, old stories, songs and jokes, than we will have achieved something great. Even if those songs don't carry the best feeling towards England, it's better to sing with a smile than shoot with a smile. Songs of hatred should be left in histoy's garbage bin. Songs of humor should remain.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Fiolar
Date: 20 May 01 - 06:29 AM

Did I read somewhere that Merlin was Welsh?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Terry K
Date: 21 May 01 - 02:36 AM

Guest Merlin, most of your questions about English suffering can be answered as YES. I reckon most UK people's interest in and understanding of the KKK and "deep south problems" are in the same vein as the "plastic paddy's" superficial understanding of the Irish situation.

I'm with those who find nothing funny in the excesses of any terrorist group. In the gypsy thread and the jewish jokes thing it was widely claimed that perpetuating the joke perpetuated the prejudice. Many IRA songs serve to glorify the unglorious actions of the IRA - where's the difference? Let's keep the songs by all means, but keep them in their true context - even if it means we get to keep that crap about Mrs Stein.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 21 May 01 - 04:27 PM

In reality, the difference between "IRA" songs, as sung in the US, and IRA songs I heard in Ireland, was the the IRA songs I heard in Ireland were mostly about human rights, not about hatred of English people or protestants. The same is not true of Loyalist songs, which I found to be about religious prejudice. - Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Mrs. Brennan
Date: 21 May 01 - 04:42 PM

How about "An Alsation Once Again", sung to the tune of "A Nation Once Again"?

It's funny, it's respectful, its a crack!

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Rambam99
Date: 22 May 01 - 10:52 PM

Considering how much trouble all this has caused, why don't we just discontinue this thread?

So speaketh the twit who started it

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,the bulldog
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 09:38 PM

The IRA are the scum of the earth, and now two of the active IRA bastards are politicians, I served in the British Paras for 6 years so dont see anything remotely humerous in your fucking posts,

NO SURRENDER to the IRA

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 02:10 AM

Well, I always got a chuckle from "My Little Armalite". I have a three cassette collection called "50 Complete Rebel Songs" which has quite a few humorous songs as well as some which are pretty grim.

I also have a cassette called "Music from the Blocks" recorded, clandestinely, in the H blocks of Long Kesh in the Summer of 1990. There is no humor here but there is a beauty beyond my description.

I'm always amazed at the ability of the Irish to find humor in their long struggle to remain Irish.

CB

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Ewan McVicar
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 06:13 AM

I used to sing 'rebel songs' when singing them highlighted past and present injustices that should be redressed. When the bombs and guns started, I stopped singing them, since singing them was now taken to be supporting violent action, and I believe in peaceful methods only.
Maybe now we can begin to sing some of the songs of 1916 again without being ignorantly accused of supporting the horrific actions of the last decades?
To return to the topic of the thread, another fine song with clever humour is
As I was walking down the street, and feeling fine and larky,oh
A recruiting sergeant said to me, "Now you'd look fine in kharki, oh",
etc.
Sorry, life is too busy these days for me to find time to type out whole lyrics - it'll be on the web somewhere.
Peace be on all of you. All things must pass.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,namewithheld!
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 07:28 AM

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Winger
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 08:55 AM

How about the funniest song of all: "I am not and never have been a member of the IRA". Lyrics: G. Adams. Tune: Same Old.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Ard Mhacha.
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 11:30 AM

Alison dead on with your choice, The lid of my Granny`s bin and Tommy C another cracker, The Crumlin Kangaroos. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 01:02 PM

I'll happily sing funny songs, no matter whether they're Ra, Orange or anything - as long as they're *funny*.

An old one is Whack Fol the Diddle, which is probably in the Mudcat database. "I'll sing you a song of peace and love, whack fol the diddle..." and so on.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Den
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 11:14 PM

Ard Mhacha do you have the words to the The Crumlin Kangaroos, I've been trying to find them for years. I remember at home we had the single I think by the Batterin' Ram. All I can remember is: And its here and up your Arsenal and a Georgie Best to you and the greatest team in the whole wide world is the Crumlin Kangaroos. Den

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Ewan McVicar
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 06:31 AM

I'm glad to see that 'The Bulldog' has been left to bite his own tail for want of anyone else to savage.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Ard Mhacha
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 06:45 AM

Den I will look around and if I get the wordsI will let you have them. Another very funny song doing the rounds in the 60s was "Up the Border" I think Francie Brolly the Derry singer composed and sang it. Ard Mhacha

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 07:54 AM

The Crumlin Kangaroos (also known as Over The Wall), was recorded and written by The Wolfhound on the album Ireland Boys Hurrah. It may have been recorded by others, but Danny Burns (who was a member of the Wolfhound) told me they wrote it. There is also a version by the Dublin City Ramblers..."Over the wall, over the wall, it's hard to believe they went over the wall" that is very similar.I haven't read this entire thread so this may repetitive, but another of my favorites is "Ballad Of Ballinamore" by Chirsty Moore,

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,A Scottish Guest
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:14 AM

I'm no fan of the IRA or any of the other factions over there but it has to be remembered that at one time the IRA was actually an honourable group. That was, of course, before they started to take joy in blowing up innocents and having a raqueteering business ruining the lives of the common, working people. Nowadays, they're scum I'm afraid - no friend of the working class.

Some of the funny songs were written in the early years. Every war has funny songs written about it - a stress reliever, perhaps? Most of us here don't know what it's like to be in a war or to be a soldier. Especially the Americans don't understand strife and suffering. Anyway, the songs should be taken for the time they were written. Michael Collins would turn in his grave if he could see the state the IRA is in today.

Also, please, we don't like to be called 'Brits'. Only Americans say that.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:18 AM

I thought you were a Scottish guest.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:54 AM

Hi Folks... In the spirt of TRUTH as well as reconcilliation, I think we may list the children murdered point blank by British paras like our brother Bulldog, starting with Carol Ann Kelly, who on a peaceful day, had her brains blown out, in retaliation for the deaths of soldiers. Now, if membership in a "terrorist" organisation rules one out for membership in government, who would run the nations? Certainly no former US, British, Russian, Polish, Indian, Pakistani, Israeli, Palistinian, Turkish, Iranian, Iraqui, Argentinian, Uraguayan, Nicaragain, Yugoslavian, Checkoslovakian,... name all the rest of the armies. Humanity needs a tune up... maybe start with a funny song, lighten up Bulldog, let the pup without sin, cast the first dog biskit...
Peace, brother, and the first pint is on me if you find yourself in New York... let peace begin with perspective. Heal (however you want to take that).
Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Keith A
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 02:27 PM

Hi Larry, how are you?
I don't think yer man Bulldog is ex Parachute Regt. or he would have said so. Maybe some other airborne unit (medic, engineer, arty ) or just a fantasist.
I know that you don't invent facts but to my shame I do not remember the case of Carol. I do know that whatever else the Para Reg are, they are professional soldiers and have a professional soldier's contempt for child killers. If you say she was killed by them I believe you, but how can you be so sure of why it happened. No soldier would kill a child as a reprisal.
Sorry to possibly start things up again, but I have known many Paras and counted many as friend, and can not let such a slur go unchallenged.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Winger
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 05:30 PM

InOBU:

Now, if membership in a "terrorist" organisation rules one out for membership in government, who would run the nations? "

Al-Qaida? The Taliban? The Nazi Party?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 07:11 PM

Hi WInger... there you are, the list can go on all day.
HIYA KEITH! Good to see ya: As to young Ms. Kelly, I will check back, I am sure I have a document somewhere on the incident. It may have been other than a para trooper, I will check and get back to you. It definately was a British soldier, on duty, his mate made a formal complaint which was covered up. She was coming home from the market to get some milk. There was no fireing anywhere and the weapon was within inches of her head. The point is wars have more than one side, war is the problem, not the solution to problems. Heal.
Cheers Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:57 PM

From 'Lost Lives' (entry 2326):

May 22, 1981 - Carol Ann Kelly (West Belfast, civilian, Catholic, 11, schoolgirl)
The schoolgirl was fatally injured by a plastic bullet fired by soldiers in disputed circumstances three days earlier. The round struck her on the head as she walked back to her home at Cherry Park, in Twinbrook, from nearby shops with a pint of milk. [...] The inquest found two plastic bullets had been fired from army Land Rovers. Soldiers said there was rioting in the area, but locals challenged their version of events and said it was quiet at the time. The coroner said the child was an innocent victim [...]. Her family was awarded 25,000 pounds in compensation. In 1993 a former member of the Light Infantry Regiment sent his Northern Ireland campaign medal to the schoolgirl's mother. The former soldier, Bob Harker, wrote a book on plastic bullets called 'A Harmless Way to Kill'. In May 1998, a new memorial stone to the girl was dedicated near her Twinbrook home after an existing memorial was targeted by vandals.

No mention of 'reprisals'. Might as well have been the result of a genuine mistake or a dare gone wrong. (Give a boy a weapon and he WILL try it out!) When they found they'd actually hit someone, and a child at that, they weren't mature enough to accept the responsibility. It's too scary to believe someone would take out his anger on an 11-year-old girl in cold blood!

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big John
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 07:46 AM

"The Town I Loved So Well." Now theres a song with 89 verses bemoaning the destruction of Derry without a single mention of IRA bombs. Isn't that funny.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,finn mann
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 09:24 AM

There is group from the north of Ireland call the Men (or is it People?) of No Property. I once had an LP by them which was stolen. I couldn't quite figure them out. Very funny and satirica. Definitely leftist and republican but not conforming to any stereotypes. If anybody can tell me how to get hold of their stuff I'd be grateful.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: InOBU
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 11:23 AM

Thanks Susanne - Larry

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 11:23 AM

When I was in Vietnam my outfit would occasionally stand down, which was cause for celebration. We didn't have Guiness or Jameson so we made do with warm Falstaff and rum and Fresca and imagination. We'd sing humerous(sp?) songs about Vietnam, like Country Joe's "Fixin' to Die Rag" and "Blood on the Shrouds" and a little ditty called "We're a Bunch o' Bastards". They were all tension breakers, although out of context they're a bit grim and there's nothing much funny about the Vietnam war. Still, they served an important purpose and I'd hate to see them banished. I expect it's the same for IRA tunes, and I'd bet there are some favored by the Royal Irish Regiment, too. I sure understand where Bulldog is coming from, I don't think I'd care much for pro Viet Cong tunes, although I've never heard one. But let's keep some perspective on it. My favorite funny IRA tune is the one mentioned above called "Fido Hid the Hand Grenade for Me" to the tune of "A Nation Once Again" in which the peelers bust a house occupied by an IRA family who get rid of a grenade by tossing it to Fido who promply swallows it. It goes off and when the smpke clears "There was Fido. And there was Fido and there was Fido over there". The chorus goes "Alsation once again, Alsatian once again, And Fido up in heaven be Alsatian once again."

Subject: Lyr Add: THE CRUMLIN KANGAROOS
From: GUEST,Mike Ruddy
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 01:23 PM

A plaintiff call went out twice for the words to the "Crumlin Kangaroos." I too was searching for them and ran into this thread. Since the I didn't see the answer any where and I have this song on a CD by Wolfhound, I transcribed it and bracketed the parts I was unsure of. Seeing things a bit raw here and there in this thread, I would submit that, for those who are focused solely on the horrors committed on both sides in the past decades in Northern Ireland, neither The Crumlin Kangaroos, The Fenian Record Player, The Ould Orange Flute, William Bloat, nor The Orange And The Green are "funny" but the foregoing songs I listed also indicate the Irish both the Orange Loyalist and the Green Nationalist have used the black humor in this genre of folk song to break the pall that hangs over the uncovered wounds..... Let's hope we see a real end to it in our lifetimes.
Mike

THE CRUMLIN KANGAROOS

CHORUS
So it's here and up your arsenal
And a Georgie best to you
There's not a team in the whole wide world
Like the Crumlin Kangaroos

Now from the rebel jail the prisoners one day
A game of football they did have but the rules did not obey
And while all the wardens watched there the passing of the ball
One of the bloody football teams went up and over the wall

CHORUS
So it's here and up your arsenal
And a Georgie best to you
There's not a team in the whole wide world
Like the Crumlin Kangaroos

The wardens all looked up then in the wildest eyed surprise
And the sight they saw before them brought tears to all those eyes
For one of teams had disappeared [for all that] they did call
But one side had a free transfer to a team just over the wall
CHORUS

The gaoler he came down then with his face all in a twist
Sayin' up against the wall now while I get out me list
Now two teams started playing of that we all agreed
But now we're short 8 players and a bloody referee
CHORUS

Well the milit'ry were shocked now, they said we'll lose no more
And they barred up every window and bolted every door
But we'd left behind our half-back line and that would never do
So Martin [took three more] up and joined the Kangaroos
CHORUS

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Ard Mhacha
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 02:50 PM

Thanks Mike, Are you out there Den?, Mike to the rescue here and proof indeed that despite all we can still laugh at our troubles. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE RECRUITING SERGEANT
From: Big Tim
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 04:53 PM

Here's the words of the song mentoned by Ewan MacVicar on 01 Aug 02, from the Pogues 3rd album: titled only part of a "Medley" and "trad".

As I was walking down the road,
a feeling fine and larky-O,
A recruiting sergeant came up to me,
Says you'd look fine in khaki-O,
For the King he is in need of men,
Come read this proclamation-O,
A life in Flanders for you then,
Would be a fine vacation-O,

That may be so says I to him,
But tell me sergeant dearie-O,
If I had a pack stuck up on my back,
Would I look fine and cheerie-O?
For they'd have you train and drill until,
They had you one of Frenchies-O,
It may be warm in Flanders,
it's draughty in the trenches-O,

The sergeant smiled and winked his eye,
His smile was most provoking-O,
He twiddled and twirled his wee moustache,
Says he you're only joking-O,
For the sandbags are so warm and high,
The wind you won't feel blowing-O,
I winked at a colleen passing by,
Says I, what if it's snowing-O?

Come rain or hail or wind or snow,
I'm not going out to Flanders-O,
There's fighting in Dublin to be done,
Let your sergeants and your commanders go,
Let Englishmen fight English wars,
It's nearly time they started-O,
I saluted the sergeant a very good night,
And there and then we parted-O.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 06:24 AM

The Spinners used to sing 'orange and green' until they heard that another bomb had went off or some innocent got killed, so they didn't sing it any more because it didn't seem funny, when some child or man or woman was killed because of their name or relgion.
I'm the same I never sing these songs either about the Prods or Catholics.
Because I just don't to hear them.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 07:03 AM

What I meant was that I just don't want hear them,
however if people want to listen to that sort thing then fine, it's just not my cup of tea.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,barrygeo
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 07:47 AM

To those critising this thread - you do not understand the Irish Tradition. For centuries songs have been used in Ireland for Social and Political commentary. The use of wit and satire are particularly prized. The real answer to a song you dislike is to write a rebuttal. The political songs are used for internal propaganda to rally supporters rather than directed at the enemy. It is unfortunate but not unsuprising that IRA fund raisers should have hijacked this tradition post 1969. Many fine songs have also been written condemning the violence of this period. I trust that history will judge what songs are remembered and those to be forgotten just as it always has. Remember the songs are a reflection of the times rather than a causative factor. Look at Hollywood's portrayal of history and you will see that most of the hero's are home grown.
This is Irish traditional music so if your into it your going to have to accept the warts as well and trust the censorship of time. Any other form of censorship doesn't work.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Irish Brigade
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 08:13 AM

How about The Bogside Doodlebug, The Great Helicopter Escape (the British roadblocks didn't work so well, The Peeler and the Goat?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,barrygeo
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 08:39 AM

I am open to correction (memory not as sharp as it might be) but wasn't the helicopter song about an escape from Mountjoy prison in Dublin and therefor a slag at Irish authorities rather than British.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Den
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 01:07 PM

By Jingo Ard I very nearly didn't check back into this thread. Well Done Mike. I too had this song on Vinyl, a single if I recall correctly. I lost it somewhere along the line. Thanks again Mike.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Tim
Date: 26 Nov 02 - 07:48 AM

Don't know the Helicopter Song but it must be about the escape of Seamus Twomey, Kevin Mallon and Joe B. O'Hagan ,all senior IRA members, allegedly, from Mountjoy Jail Dublin, in August 1973. (See Brendan Anderson's new book "Joe Cahill: a life in the IRA").

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 26 Nov 02 - 08:46 AM

Helicopter song (link to the DT entry).

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Jimmie Tee
Date: 04 May 07 - 06:22 PM

I have recorded Over the Wall (Crumlin Kangaroos) but have come up with a zero in finding copyright info. I need it to obtain a mechanical license.

Danny Burns wrote the lyrics. It is my guess that the melody is traditional.

Can someone out there help me?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:03 PM

umm, this one's not pro-IRA, but was nevertheless taught to me by a Catholic/Republican friend of mine who thought it was one of the funniest things he'd ever heard. In terms of black humour it takes some beating. Apparently it used to be sung at football matches in the 80s:

Did you eat your chicken supper, Bobby Sands?
Did you eat your chicken supper, Bobby Sands?
Did you eat your chicken supper
You skinny Fenian fucker
Did you eat your chicken supper, Bobby Sands?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:15 PM

Kinky Boots

I drove my saracen through your garden last night
Sing up the RA
I kicked your front door down around at midnight
Sing up the RA
Oh somthing's telling me boy you're avoiding me
And when I find you, you will go for your tea

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Bertie he's in the UDR
Who-ar, Who-ar
Searching for weapons he will go near and far
Who-ar, Who-ar
Up around by Cappagh you'd never find him there
Oh the only gun he'd get there is an armalite in his ear

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Trevor he's in the RUC
I see, I see
but now they've handed him his redundancy
I see, I see
The folks along the border won't be seeing him any more
That Provo sniper will be missing him for sure

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Nigel he's in the SAS
Oh yes, Oh yes
He said a change is just as good as arrest
Oh yes, Oh yes
But now they've gone and posted him way down to Crossmaglen
He wishes to blazes he was back in jail again

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Sammy he's in the DUP
I see, I see
An outstanding member as all the world can see
I see, I see
I can go up to to Donegal if you want to have some fun
He said I'll take a run there if I have nothing on

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your land

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Little Mick
Date: 05 May 07 - 05:18 AM

We shot one,
We shot two,
we shot thirteen more than you,
With a nick nack paddywack,
Give a mick a gun,
Paras thirteen Bogside none.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: concertina ceol
Date: 05 May 07 - 06:08 AM

this is disgusting. can't this thread be removed?

Or perhaps we should start another one - anyone know any funny songs about the oppression of the irish by the british?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 05 May 07 - 06:20 AM

what is this for - may we ask?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: MartinRyan
Date: 05 May 07 - 06:26 AM

"anyone know any funny songs about the oppression of the irish by the british? "

Isn't that where the thread started from? Let's just call it quits... given the week that's (nearly) in it.

Regards

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: guitar
Date: 06 May 07 - 05:31 AM

The spiners from Liverpool used to sing the orange and the green, however they when they were still together, stopped singing it because another innocent man/women/child had been killed and they didn't find it funny anymore.

I sing some Irish republican stuff as well, and also protestant songs, I'm a protestant and yet I find some of the Irish republican stuff well not funny but as a part of our history the same goes for the orange songs as well.

Tom

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Georgie
Date: 07 May 07 - 07:36 PM

Try Fenian Record Player, Hilarious

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,::::
Date: 07 May 07 - 11:01 PM

GOOD STUFF - worthy of archiving

I entered with an angry tilt - but quickly discovered the true thread.

Carry On!!! I am off tomorrow and will check my notes....I must have a couple in there to post here.

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST,Davy the weird loyalist
Date: 13 May 07 - 04:00 AM

When I was young, I had no sense, I bought a flute for fifty pence, The only tune that I could play, was "Fuck the Pope and the IRA".

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 13 May 07 - 04:34 AM

an angry tilt?

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 06:57 AM

Jimmie Tee,

the version I know of Over the wall is sung to a tune very close to the German clockwinder.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: seeking funny I.R.A. Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 07:19 AM

Dubliners "The old alarm clock"

---

Please note that anonymous posting is no longer allowed at Mudcat. Use a consistent name when you post, or your messages risk being deleted.
Thanks.
-Joe Offer-

---

Thread closed temporarily because it's been a target for a heavy barrage of Spam. If you have something to add to the discussion, contact me and I'll reopen it.
-Joe Offer-