OBIT: My kids' Grandmother

Subject: My kids' Grandmother
From: Pseudolus
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 02:03 PM

I got a phone call from my ex-wife last night to tell me that her Mom was in the hospital emergency room. An hour later, another phone call, her Mom had died. This morning, my ex-wife, my wife and I told my kids that their Grandmother was gone. I don't know that I've ever had a more gut-wrenching job to do. With five days to go until Christmas one of the most important people in their lives is gone. My Mom and my ex-wife's Dad were both dead before my kids were born. My Dad has since gone to a Nursing home and doesn't recognize them so for all intents and purposes this was the only Grandparent they have, and now she's gone.

When I found out, I woke up my wife (KarenB) to tell her. She gave me a big hug and we both cried for what seemed like forever. Her thoughts were for me, my kids, AND my ex-wife. Some of you have corresponded with her through the Secret Santa Threads and PM's so you've gotten to know her just a little. I'm not sure what I'd do without her.

My former Mother-in-law and I have not always agreed on every issue. We have had our arguments. But when she thought her daughter was wrong for wanting a divorce, she stood by me as a friend without compromising the relationship with her daughter. She was a damn fine woman, Mother, Wife, Grandmother and friend. My kids will miss her.....and so will I....very much.

Frank

Thanks for listening

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 02:18 PM

I had to give the same news to my son a year ago Thanksgiving. It's a tough thing to have to do. My heart goes out to you.

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: annamill
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 02:31 PM

I'm a Grandmother with three beautiful grandchildren from my daughter and I hope to live long enough to see my son's children. I hope when I go, that I am missed. Maybe I'll start spending more time with them.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Love, Annamill

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 02:42 PM

I am so sorry to hear of of the passing of your mother-in-law and the sorrows that will certainly dampen your children's spirits during the holiday season. It is always difficult to loose a loved one and even more difficult when that loose coincides with a holiday. It is my belief that the spirit of the deceased is usually the strongest right after the passing so you might want to set an extra place at the table for her and maybe your kids will connect with her energy in the coming days. Just an idea. What was her name? I'd like to mention her in my prayers. As for you, Pseudolus, if you feel up to telling a story about her, I think it would help and at least for me be appreciated. One of my Norwegian friends at Tweedsblues father died recently and he told us wonderful story about his father and some other musicans holding dances on a remote Norwegan bridge during World War II.

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 02:50 PM

Pseudolus, I'm very sorry for your family's loss; a grandparent can be such an important person in the life of a child. My own children are very close to my mother, and whilst she and I have had our own difficulties, tyhe unconditional love she & the children have always had for each other is something I'm very grateful they've had the opportunity to experience. I often think about what it would be like for them if anything happened to my parents; please accept my sympathy and condolences, and try to help them through the holiday by reminding them of all the positive memories they'll always have of their time with her.

D.

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 03:00 PM

Very sad Frank...and I'm glad that Karen is there for you and helping you both be there for your kids.

Oddly enough, I was just thinking last night that our boys have only one living grandparent, which led to thoughts of my parents and how much they would have loved the boys. But even though they will never know them, I try to keep a part of them alive in the stories I tell them......That's as close as I can get and a form of immortality that I can understand.

Extra hugs for all and my very best thoughts to you during this hard time.

Pat, and my Karen too.

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 10:47 PM

A dear grandparent is a treasure like no other. I hope you can take some comfort from the fact that your children and yourself at least were blessed by her presence for the time she was with you. And know that the good stuff you all got from her is there forever until you pass it on.

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: alison
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 11:13 PM

so sorry to hear about your loss, you are in my thoughts and prayers...

love and hugs

alison

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: Amergin
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 11:15 PM

Sorry to hear about this, Frank...My thoughts to you and your kids...

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: DancingMom
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 11:47 PM

When my father-in-law died in May, the two youngest kids' guidance counselor helped them each make a memory book about their grandfather. They slipped snapshots of him out of the house and added them to their books. They wrote about him serving in WWII, the things he loved to eat (cornbread), how much they loved him, then they brought the books home for us to cry over and pass around the family. It was very therapeutic.

My sincere condolences to your family. Sharon

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: Pseudolus
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 11:49 PM

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and posts. My kids are doing as well as can be expected. we were scheduled to sing Christmas Carols at my Dad's Nursing home tonight and the girls went and sang. It was a good diversion for them. The viewing is tomorrow and the funeral Saturday morning. that's really fast but the alternative was the day after Christmas and this will work out much better than waiting.

Someone asked for a story about my former Mother-in-law. Her husband loved to ski, still does. She seldom went but this one time she decided to go. They were on a beginner hill and she was trying to learn from her husband, always a dangerous thing. Well, she sucked at skiing and while trying to do a snowplow to stop, she got the giggles....because she couldn't stop. She was barely moving but she just couldn't bring herself to a complete stop and the giggles got worse, and worse, and worse and finally she couldn't hold back any more.....she peed her pants! Now the story in and of itself is pretty funny but the best part about it is she loved to tell the story!! She had a terrific sense of humor and was quite capable of laughing at herself. She appreciated a good joke although as a joke teller, she made a good skier!! I will miss that sense of humor.

Frank

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: Cappuccino
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 03:33 AM

As long as you remember things like that, and tell the stories, the memory will be a happy one... and that's something good to hold on to. Very best wishes to you both.

- Ian B

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From:
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 03:59 AM

My mother died on the 20th of December 6 years ago, so I know all too well the pain of losing someone so precious at this time of year. My thoughts and sympathies are with you and your kids at this time.

Scott

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: Morticia
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:02 AM

My best wishes to you and the children and big hugs {{{XX}}}.

Subject: RE: OBIT: My kids' Grandmother
From: Jeanie
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:10 AM

Very sorry. Sending our thoughts and love your way - We've been there too, this year. With Love, Jeanie and daughter Isobel x