Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 06 Jan 02 - 04:27 PM Here we go again, my darlin's! Dig out your ear muffs, binochs and red caps, cuz' we're going badger bonkin' - er, I mean badger watchin': Naughty Naturalists Nabbed in Night-Vision Nasty -- A couple at a lakeland holiday park were caught naked on cameras meant to monitor the movements of badgers. The pair ventured into the snowy woods at the Oasis Village, near Penrith in Cumbria. Their romp was beamed into every hotel bedroom on a special channel trained on the badger set. The night-vision camera caught the couple in the early hours of the morning. The woman kept her bobble hat on, reports the News of the World. The pair stopped when they heard a sound and quickly put their clothes on before being chased by a security guard with a torch. The identity of the couple has not been revealed. Go for it, Challenge!rs -- just remember, you can keep your hat on! ;-) -- Áine
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 06 Jan 02 - 04:36 PM Badgers! we don need no steenking badgers! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 06 Jan 02 - 04:53 PM Badger (Muskrat) Love
Badger, badger, Late night stroll.
Badger woman, Badger man
And they humped and they pumped and she gobbled
Getting the service up in their suites
Now they're running away
And they humped and they pumped and she gobbled La da da da da ...
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 06 Jan 02 - 05:05 PM Oh Jack, Willis Alan would be so proud!! ;-) Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for starting things off with a 'gobble' with: And they humped and they pumped and she gobbled All the while wearin her bobble Wishing they were wearing their gloves Looks like Badger love Great! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 06 Jan 02 - 05:20 PM LOL, Jack!! Man, what some folks won't do to get on a camera!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 06 Jan 02 - 05:33 PM The Skydome baseball stadium in Toronto has a hotel in one end. Well one day one couple got more interested in each other than the game, left the lights on a shades open. Got themselves on the Jumbotron! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Clifton53 Date: 07 Jan 02 - 01:40 AM Is that a burnin' bush abob of it's bobbletop??? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 07 Jan 02 - 03:16 AM I can't remember all the words to the song Maria Muldaur sang, so my parody may be off a little (just like certain hotel guests' clothes). Genie
Midnight At The Oasis |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 05:05 AM To the tune of that oul' come-all-ye "Navvy Boots". WITH ME BOBBLE-HATON I'm a Cumbrian lassie, I hail from Carlisle I'll tell you my story, and raise you a smile I have me a boyfriend, his name it is John And he fancies me mad with me bobble-hat on Oh he first had his supper and then had a shave For courtin' myself he highly prepared The oul' stars in the sky as the moon it shone down And I slept in my bed with my bobble-hat on He knocked at my window, his knock I did know And out of my slumber I wakened so slow He knocked there again and I said "Is that John?" He said "It is I. Get your bobble-hat on!" I opened my window; he gave me a kiss And we slipped away to the woods at Penrith He says "Me boul' Nancy, you're turnin' me on Get out of your kit, but keep your hat on!" I stripped like Salome removing her veils And shimmied and flashed and waggled my tail 'Neath the moon's slivery beams I was white as a swan All except for me noggin, with me bobble-hat on And then to our business we two did attend The clothes from his body like a fiend I did rend Then sank to the ground and I moaned "Take me, John" Says he "Then I will … with your bobble-hat on" But we were disturbed when our business was done By the flash of a light and away we did run We fled from the scene, with the wind we were gone Buck-naked except for me bobble-hat on Oh then six months being over and seven at the last I began to grow stout and grow thick round the waist Eight months being over and nine came along I gave him a child with a bobble-hat on
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 07:29 AM Whoops ... I added a note in the wrong place!! The entry should have read as follows. (No doubt some kinf mudelf will do the needful)
Apart from "Navvy Boots", the other song that appeared to me to be ripe for parodying in this Challenge! was Billie Jo Spears' "Blanket On The Ground". So here goes
duplicate message deleted by mudelf ;-)
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 07:30 AM Áine, mo chroí, if this meets with your favour, then do I get THE BIG ONE? SEVEN DRUNKEN MUDCAT NIGHTS I came home on a Monday night As drunk as drunk could be I spied my missus lying down Beneath a spreading tree And on her head a bobble-hat And she's yelling out in glee "If I wasn't drunk, I might have thunk You were cuckolding me!" Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see I'm only taking a midnight stroll In innocent company Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But an innocent stroll in the nude, me boys I never saw before (78) I came home on a Tuesday night As drunk as drunk could be I spied an ashtray beside the bed Where my oul' ashtray should be I's about to stub my feg in there Till my wife she yells at me "Get out of that, you stupid prat Let my sister's ashes be" Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see That's my sister's ashes that Wal-Mart delivered to me Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But a cigar-butt in a cremation urn I never saw before (18) And I came home on Wednesday night As drunk as drunk could be I caught a whiff of sulphur And it put the wind up me So I called my wife and I said to her "Would you kindly let me know Are we victims of possession By the boyos down below" "Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see That's a brand-new IBM that my sister gave to me" Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But oul' Nick to reside in a 40-gig drive I never saw before (22) And I came home on Thursday night As drunk as drunk could be I saw a headless chicken Run up the path to me So I called my wife and I said to her "Would you kindly tell to me A chick, no head, but not yet dead How can this come to be?" "Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see It's just a plain ol' rooster of a new variety " Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But a cock with a funnel instead of beak I never saw before (32) And I came home on Friday night As drunk as drunk could be I saw a mermaid on the rocks A-beckoning to me So I called my wife and I said to her "It's late home I will be For I am on a promise With a siren of the sea" "Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see It's just a topless woman from the tourist industry " Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But a model with a fish's tail I never saw before (55) And I came home on Saturday night As drunk as drunk could be I saw a lanky cowboy And he's motioning to me He's got a scalpel in his hand And he charges a high fee So I ask my wife If she can tell How this strange sight can be "Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see That's a medical doctor, with a surgical specialty " Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But a doctor waring chaps and spurs Sure I never saw before (68) And I came home on Sunday night As drunk as drunk could be I saw an upright tiger And he flashed a smile at me So I called my wife and I said to her "Would you kindly tell to me Tigers walking on two legs How can this come to be?" "Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool And still you cannot see It's just a man who had a plan for some skin artistry " Well it's many's the day I've wandered A hundred miles or more But I've never heard a tattoed man Let out such a hideous roar |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 07 Jan 02 - 08:58 AM Holy moly!! Derrymacash is on a roll!! That job of his is sure comfy!! LOL!! I gotta say he sweeps the field, win place and show on this one!! Once again, he's golden!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 07 Jan 02 - 09:17 AM A wee toss off for the grace of the Goddess. Derry's just blown the doors off this one. Now you gotta remember that thumping rhythm that Marvin puts out when he hears itythrough the grapevine...
I Saw It On The Badger Line
Ooh, I bet you're wondering how I knew I saw it on the badger line
Dunno why you gotta do me like that I saw it on the badger line
You can say that I shouldn't cry I saw it on the badger line
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Paul from Hull Date: 07 Jan 02 - 09:31 AM *ROFLMBO*....to EVERYTHING..... Yer all bl**dy daft! *GRINS* |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:07 AM I'm not goin' to pursue this one … it's just too silly … another verse or two might be gilding the lily! It is, of course, a parody of that genteel nursery song "The Teddy-Bears' Picnic". If you go down in the woods today You'd better go in disguise If you go down in the woods today You're in for a big surprise For bobbly-hats are all we will don Apart from our hats we'll have nothing on Today's the day our Teddy will bare his prick, Nick |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:10 AM A Aidan, naire ort! ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:15 AM I'll take that as a compliment, Áine! As the poet said "Mór mo naire ..." |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:56 AM A parody of "Courtin' In The Kitchen" Come single belle and beau And to me pay attention Don't ever fall in love It's the devil's own invention For once I fell in love With a maiden so bewitching The denouement thereof Was screened on television With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy I met her in the woods Out back of the Oasis Her eyes shone like the sun She had one of those faces To melt a poor boy's heart To drive him to distraction Determined not to part I spurred myself to action With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy Good evening miss I said Although I am a stranger I wonder if you'd care For an escort, case of danger For I would hate to see A maiden so delightful Encounter any fate That might be considered frightful With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy Oh I will walk with you You are possessed of char-am I would welcome kindly Protection from all har-am I am, as you can see, But lithe and slim and bonny No match for any foe Who might set his sights upon me With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy As night began to fall I felt it getting chilly To maintain a naked head It really is quite silly Please my fair young maid My hat that has a bobble I'll gladly lend to you It causes me no trouble With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy Why thank you for your gift It is much appreciated For your courtesy and kindness You will soon be compensated She took hold of my arm And paced it round her waist, sir And dragged me to the ground With much indecent haste, sir With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy And so we soon undressed But for the hat I loaned her And as we did the deed She sighed and screamed and moaned sir And we were so enrapt In our lustin' and our passion We didn't realise That the hotel nearby was watchin' With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy Things came to a head She scratched me with her claws, sir When from the near hotel We heard some wild applause, sir The manager exclaimed You gave my guests a treat, sir And as a just reward Please accept the bridal suite. Sir With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: MMario Date: 07 Jan 02 - 11:21 AM Badgers (Tune:Feelings of Love) Badgers! Nothin' on but Badgers! On the TV set, of our budget hotel! Badgers! Fillin' every channel I can't believe I'm that dull That I'm watchin' this show! Badgers! Whoa! Wait! THATisn't Badgers. I think that it may be… NO! I don't believe it's true…. Not Badgers! That's a couple "dancin'" "Dancin'" horizontal. She's still got her hat on! Wow, this is getting' good. Camaras Trackin' every movement Wonder if they know that…? Here comes the guard! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 07 Jan 02 - 12:02 PM To the tune of "Jamie Raeburn's Farewell" BROCK'S FAREWELL Oh me name is Brock the badger and me tale begins forthwith I've dug myself a bonny sett in the woods nearby Penrith But the human being's antics have driven me awa' Far from the hills and lakes and woods of dear ol' Cumbria It's not the TV cameras that I abhor per se It's not the TV lighting crew have sent me far away But my poor wee suckling badgereens must not witness such a show And so alas, with heavy heart from Cumbria I'll go It was of a winter's evening the stars fair filled the sky When a pair of human beings passed my home nearby And rested for a moment, and then, sad to relate Before my very eyes this pair began to copulate On TV shows you humans sometimes see we badgers mate "Life On Earth" and "Nature Watch" and others just as great But the thing about we badgers is we tend to be discreet We don't just waste our vital juice on any brock we meet But this pair at my entrance put on a mighty show With "God!" and "Yes!" and "Please!" and "Jesus Christ!" and "Ah!" and "No!" To find out what was going on, the brockeens they were keen All I could do to keep them from witnessing the scene Oh me name is Brock the badger and me tale is at an end I'm on the move this very night, God knows where my journey'll wend But the human being's antics have driven me awa' Far from the hills and lakes and woods of dear ol' Cumbria
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 07 Jan 02 - 12:40 PM Jesus, derry, don't you have a day job anymore?? I am rolling on the floor. If I didn't have a separate office I'd be highly suspect of Internet abuse!! A. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Matthew Edwards Date: 07 Jan 02 - 02:03 PM Well I guess derrymacash has hit the jackpot here. Loved the "Navvy Boots" one, and "Blanket on the Ground" - and now "Brock's Farewell" - brilliant. Anyway it all just goes to prove that as Paddy Tunney sang: When a man's in love he feels no cold... Still here are a couple of attempts: Twas in the Month of January Twas in the month of January when the frost was all around, The winter snows were falling fast, and lay thick on the ground, I watched the TV in my room to find a wondrous sight, To see the badgers sport and play within the woods at night.
But the wonder that my eyes beheld was an unexpected sort,
He clasped his hands about her as the moon it shone so clear,
Now I love nature in the raw whatever the reception,
She wore a Yellow Bobble
Upon her head she wore a yellow bobble,
Below her neck she hadn't got a stitch on,
Upon her breast her nipples they were swollen,
But sad to tell, this maiden and her true love, |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Deda Date: 07 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM Blue Movies Tune = Foggy, Foggy Dew
At a motel for bachelors I stayed by myself
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 08 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM I won't comment on you other folks' entries yet, because I really don't like to read them until I post mine, lest I start plagiarizing them. I have glanced at the titles, though, to avoid choosing the same songs, and several of them seem hilarious just from that little bit! This well may be my last entry in this challenge, because, I've read enough to know that Derrymacash is, as usual, burning up the literary road. (Besides, I do have a day job. My employer (i.e., me) lets me take off time, but she doesn't pay me for my days off.) Genie Bare Moon Rising Parody lyrics by Genie With apologies to Creedence Clearwater Revival I see a bare moon a-rising, I see a bobble hat to boot. I'm seeing things that shake--it's fright'ning-- Two tourists in their birthday suits. [Chorus:] Don't touch that dial, Th' cam's bound to make you smile There's a bare moon on tonight. (Repeat) I hear her panting and her blowing, See his rear end a-flappin free. I fear there's 'way too much a-showing! Wonder if they know they're on TV! [Chorus:] Don't touch that dial, The cam's bound to make you smile There's a bare moon on tonight. (Repeat) Quickly they get themselves together-- Night guard is not a party guy! Aw, shucks! We're back to watchin' badgers-- Porn cam is over for tonight! [Chorus:] Don't touch that dial, Badger cam might make you smile! Could be a bare moon on tonight. (Repeat) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Clifton53 Date: 08 Jan 02 - 02:30 AM What a bunch of harny divils.
Bush League Boffin'
Checked into a nice hotel with a naturalistic bent
Well they got it on like fish in spawn and I watched them of course
The grass and the lake seemed a little bit fake as they rutted like deer Clifton
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 08 Jan 02 - 02:53 AM They Fill Up Our Lenses Lyrics: Sonja W. Oates Tune: Annie's song They fill up our lenses With their romp through the forest, Like the jaybirds in springtime, Undressed and untamed! Naked forms on closed circuit For the sleepy hotel guests. As they feel up each other They're feelin' no pain! "Come let me show you What they've got on TV, Hugh! You'll be drowning in laughter At their bare, flabby forms! See the critters beside them-- Who knew badgers were voyeurs??-- Come take a look, kids! Ya won't see this at home!" They filled up our lenses Till the night watchman caught 'em. Toward the mountains they sprang then From their roll in the snow! "Now the forms on the TV For us sleepy-eyed tourists Is jest badgers and lynxes And ol' horny toads!" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 08 Jan 02 - 02:58 AM Some titles that sprang to my mind to parody for this one: "You Oughta Be In Pictures" "Draft Dodger Blues" (Bad Badger Blues?) "How Can I Keep From Singing?" ("How Could We Keep Our Clothes On?") "Piney Wood Hills" "The Candidate's A Dodger" (The Camera's for the Badger) Sonja |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 08 Jan 02 - 06:03 AM A parody of "(The Dealin' Men From Crossmaglen Put) The Whiskey In Me Tay" as sung definitively by Tommy Makem. THE STITCHIN' ON ME BOBBLE-HAt My husband has a hobby, which leaves me rather coul' He's a lover of the wildlife, insects, fish and fowl Otters, deer and foxes, moles and voles and stoats But the shy, nocturnal badger really gets my husband's goat One evening late, he and his mates went on an overnight With cameras and microphones, infra-red nightlights In every hotel bedroom, before they hit the hay Snug and warm and safe from harm they could watch the badgers play The frost it wouldn't nip them, the wind their hides won't flay Snug and warm and safe from harm they could watch the badgers play And me being wild and reckless and hubby out of sight I got on the phone to me fancy-man and I asked him "Are you right For a bit of how's-your-father?" And he says "You dirty mare! I wouldn't mind a bit of a ride out in the open-air" I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I began to blush I 'magined the tease from a bit of breeze that's ticklin' my bush "Oh" says I "go on, I'll give you one, I'll give you a time that's good I'll just slip into my anorak and I'll meet you in the woods" "All your saucy banter has put me in the mood I'll just slip into my anorak and I'll meet you in the woods" I wasn't to know the spot we chose was in the line of view Of the infrareds and microphones and all that how-d'ye-do And glued to their TV screens, the brock-watchers were in awe The main attraction of the night was more than they bargained for But the picture was quite grainy and the definition poor I might not have been recognised but for the hat I wore I'll regret I wore that headgear until my dying day Cos the stitchin' on me bobble-hat gave me game away It wasn't me facial features or tattoos I'm sad to say But the stitchin' on me bobble-hat that gave me game away
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 08 Jan 02 - 07:17 AM Derrymacash, Yeh dorty git, what`ll yer people say when thon stuff is printed out in next Sundays bulletin at the `Cash Chapel. Fair play to yeh, verse No 78 in Seven drunken nights, is No 1 and a sart for yer excommunacation. Slan Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 08 Jan 02 - 07:29 AM ard mhacha, you're a cat man for puttin' the wine up me like thon! Still, I wouldn't be the first good one that the boys in the frocks had excommunicated! (Mind you, I don't think there's much danger of any stuff I write getting Maynooth's (or Newry's) imprimatur.) I've one more up my sleeve for this wee go-round but then I think I'll dridge my bake!
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 08 Jan 02 - 08:08 AM And here is that one more! A parody of "The Gentleman Soldier" as recorded by - amongst others – the Dubliners and the Pogues. The tale has a twist which differs from the original. THE JOLLY WOODSMAN It's of a jolly woodsman as he's strolling through a glade He cast his eyes about him and espied a pretty maid Her cheeks were red as roses, her breasts were pert and fat And on her head the maiden wore a woollen bobble-hat "Hello my jolly woodsman" the maiden then did say "Where are you in a hurry on this fine, warm summer's day" He said "I'm for the tavern. But kindly tell me what Possesses you in summertime to wear a bobble-hat?" "This bobble-hat you mention has come across the sea. My aunt who lives in Holland has knitted it for me. I wear it in all seasons, to prohibit a mishap For this yoke you call a bobble-hat is in fact a fine Dutch cap!" "I fear you are mistaken" the woodsman then did say "For though I am no expert, I would bet a full week's pay That the object you are wearing upon your curly pow Would not prevent conception, be it used no matter how" "Well, then, me jolly woodsman, shall we put it to the test" Boldly spoke the maiden and she started to divest Off came skirt and petticoat, the latter dyed blood-red But the maiden's woollen bobble-hat remained upon her head All night they tossed and tumbled till the morning did appear And the woodsman rose, put on his clothes and said "Farewell my dear I have well enjoyed your favours" and he gave her arse a pat "And I'm sure you won't get pregnant since you wore your bobble-hat" When nine months had been and gone the maiden she was shamed She bore a little woodsman and she didn't know his name She cried "I've learnt the hard way, I've learnt the lesson that You cannot make a Dutch cap from a woollen bobble-hat" And woe and lamentation and misery and pain! I'll never know a single day of happiness again For I have been deserted and cruelly betrayed By a jolly woodsman who wandered through my glade Then striding through the clearing, the woodsman did appear And swept the maiden off her feet and said "My sweetheart dear You think that I've deserted, that I've been a dirty rat But I wouldn't leave the girl I love in her woollen bobble-hat!" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 08 Jan 02 - 10:03 AM Geez! Keeping up with y'all and your creative output is getting to be a full-time job!! ;-)
Here are the cumulative Silver B.L.O.B.s for the offerings so far: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 08 Jan 02 - 11:25 AM Jaysus … I can hardly tear myself away from this particular challenge! Hopefully this will be the last one … though no doubt some ribald parody will suggest itself when I'm least expecting. To the tune of "(Take Her Up To) Monto" BACK OF THE OASIS I'm going to the wood-o The crack it will be good-o I'm really in the mood-o Pull my pud! I'm standing to attention At the very mention Of the main intention Drain the spuds! CHORUS Back of the Oasis Cover faces Don't leave any traces Langeroo … to you It''ll be a hoolie Nancy in her wollies Really fills my goolies Pump, pump, pump I would even rather She wore a balaclava Gets me in a lather Hump, hump, hump CHORUS Don't reveal your vadge or Liberate your tadger In front of the badgers Or a TV crew You'll hear some muffled snickers As you drop your knickers And then they'll show the pictures On the evening news CHORUS Nancy's in position Favoured by the Mission And the breeze is swishing Around my rear Shall we do a swap, love? Me to go on top, love? C'mon, up you hop, love Sit on here! CHORUS As they watch a replay I hear some oul' glipe say "Look at the arse on him, hey! The big, fat whale" Which causes me to stammer "You dirty oul' back stabber It takes a quare big hammer To drive a big nail!" CHORUS To finish off my ditty A flash of Nancy's titty And then – oh what a pity! We'll wander home And so concludes the peep show Meatshow, freakshow If you want another treatshow Grow your own! CHORUS
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 08 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM Now that I finally got all the words, I'm posting this to replace my original entry. Genie Midnight At The Oasis Village Midnight At The Oasis, Cam'ra's catching a full moon Zoom in, camera's rollin' on! They ain't wearin' no pants, sir! Seems our gal's got a suntan Oh boy! Critter cam is where it's at! The Inn don't need no Hustler channel Midnight At The Oasis, (It's too badger not on the telly any more, kids!) Here's the original song for reference.
Midnight at the oasis,Send your camel to bed Heaven's holding a half moonShining just for us Oh, Cactus is our friend. He'll point out the way You don't have to answer, There's no need to speak I know your daddy's a sultan, A nomad known to all Oh, Cactus is our friend, He'll point out the way But we don't need no harem, honey When I'm by your side repeat first verse |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: MMario Date: 08 Jan 02 - 10:07 PM good job! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Clifton53 Date: 09 Jan 02 - 02:52 AM The Bad News Badgers ( D Day Dodgers)
I am a badger expert, I watch them work and play
I checked into my hotel, the room was neat and clean
The lake was dark and pretty, the snow a picture card
"Wait one bloody minute, this falls outside the regs
They seemed to like each other,if I may understate
Then all of a sudden, their nest was all lit up
Clifton |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 09 Jan 02 - 05:08 AM (Mudself, when I posted this, I left out the verse that won me a Silver B.L.O.B! Here's the "Midnight" parody with that verse included. Can you delete the one previous one?) Now that I finally got all the words, I'm posting this to replace my original entry. Midnight At The Oasis Village Midnight At The Oasis, Cam'ra's catching a full moon Zoom in, camera's rollin' on! They ain't wearin' no pants, sir! Seems our gal's got a suntan Oh boy! Critter cam is where it's at! The Inn don't need no Hustler channel Infra- Midnight At The Oasis, (It's too badger not on the telly any more, kids!) ---------------------- Midnight at the oasis |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 09 Jan 02 - 05:12 AM Derry, I loved your first bobble-hat ballad! And your "blanket on the ground," takes me back to ... , well, never mind. As for your "seven nights drunk," you pretty well covered the ground with that one! Mahvelous!! Wonderful take-off on teddy bear's picnic; wish I'd thought of it first! And I was gonna write one from the badger's point of view (based on something like "The Boxer" or "Wichita Lineman" ["I am a badger from ol' Cumbria"]), but you kinda said it all with "Brock's Farewell!" Bravo!
Matthew, I'm LOL at yours (songs, that is -- especially "She Wore A Yellow Bobble")! Such wordsmanship!!
Deda, your foggy, foggy dew story (especially the last verse) had me ROTFLMAO!
And Derry, your "stitchin' on me bobble hat" gave me a lesson or two in the idiom our cross-the-pond cousins, as well as a few belly laughs! And, bless ya, Derry, you had the bugger come back to the lass with his child in your last one!! Awwww...... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:27 AM Many thanks for the kind words … I'm amazed that people read these ditties so carefully! As for the lessons in idiom … have a wee gawk at Pay The Reckoning's Rants and Raves – article on "Montiaghisms". This lists a few of the dialect words used in the rural area around the southern shores of Lough Neagh where I grew up. (Of course some of the words and phrases are used elsewhere in Northern Ireland … the good folks of the Seven Derries wouldn't claim them exclusively as their own!) Anyway … I had determined to l'ave this wee yoke alone for the time bein', but since yous nice people are good-mouthin' me, here's a wee skit on the oul' favourite "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" as given a slindge by Planxty on their album of the same name. Aidan Crossey known in these here quarters as derrymacash known elsewhere on the web as the editor of "Pay The Reckoning" ME BOBBLE-HAT'S FROZEN TO ME HEAD Me bobble hat's frozen to me head Me outer clothes are long since shed And I have lost me maidenhead To a laddie that won me favour CHORUS Let me come in, the young man cried Cold blow and the rainy night Let me come in, the young man cried I'll never come back again-o Me father is working down the street Me mother the bedroom key does keep But down the stairs I'll shortly creep And off we'll go together CHORUS When at last the woods they gained She kissed his ruby lips and chin And then began an act of sin And the laddie he won her favour CHORUS Now you've had your way with me Laddie won't you marry me No me love that never can be So fare thee well forever CHORUS And lying naked on the soil This poor young maiden felt despoiled And all the lad could do was smile At the thought of the gift he gave her CHORUS But unbeknownst the pair were viewed By a badger-watching multitude They found the laddie's manners rude And found in the lassie's favour CHORUS An angry mob surprised the lad One of them called him a dirty cad And one of them said that it made him mad And called him a depraver CHORUS And so they put it to a vote That they would hang him from a rope Unless there was the slightest hope That the laddie he would wed her CHORUS So the laddie gave consent And to the church the couple went The witnesses to the event Said it was a match to savour CHORUS And shortly after they were wed The lassie's taken to her bed And bore a child whose hair was red And the laddie's in a fervour CHORUS My hair's black and yours is too Some other sweep has cleaned your flue And I've been tricked into wedding you So fare thee well forever CHORUS And so the lassie she did weep That light was shone on her deceit And wondered how she'd make ends meet For herself and her little babe-o CHORUS Her father cursed, her mother swore They beat her thirty-three times o'er And said she should have thought before She'd given of her favour CHORUS But when they saw the little whelp Their hearts with joy did quickly melt And they offered fifty sorts of help To the daughter and her babe-o CHORUS |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 09 Jan 02 - 09:26 AM Derrymacash yer a wonder,Cold blow, blown away it will never be the same again. They get better this is way up with the best. Your ever lovin` agent. Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 09 Jan 02 - 09:35 AM Seconded fervently, Derry. You've a tongue o' pure gold. A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 09 Jan 02 - 10:02 AM Go raibh mile maith agaibh, a h-Amos agus a h-ard mhacha. (There's many's the cold blow roun' the bay shore or Kinnego Lough or Castors Bay, eh ard mhacha?) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 09 Jan 02 - 01:25 PM All of you versifiers are worthy people, I only give the `Cashman a wee bit of a boost to keep him at it. So keep them coming all of you Song Challengers, I can take a wet seat. Ard Mhacha. duplicate message deleted by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 02 - 03:44 AM Well, Derrymacash's already got the gold, silver, and bronze, but here goes, anyway (just so folks know he's not the only nut around here). Sonja
On Badger TV |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 10 Jan 02 - 04:52 AM Well, I thought I was done with this Challenge!, like Derrymacash, but, like him, I can't quit. Sonja Alexander's Ragtime Band lyrics: Sonja W. Oates music: Alexander's Ragtime Band (Irving Berlin) 1910 Come on and see, come on and see what they got on Badger Cam! Come here, Marie! Come on and see--back in Penrith it'd be banned! It's a display the Oasis has never aired before-- They're au naturel and they're goin' pretty far! Fast thrusts to beat the band, Bam! Bam! On the Badger Cam! Well, I swan! They're runnin' on, their undies flappin' in their hands-- Here come da man, here come da man with the flashlight in his hand! And all at once it's bobble hatted, red-faced, bare-assed jog time! See how they run! It's lots of fun with the Oasis Badger Cam! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:26 AM Genie … Good parody (and of a song which, in my humble opinion, is fit only for parodying!). Here's a pisstake of yet another song from "Cold Blowe And The Rainy Night" B STANDS FOR BOBBLE, I SUPPOSE As I went out one May morning To take a pleasant walk I hid myself in a badger's hole To hear to lovers talk To hear what they might say, my love To hear what they might say That I might know a little more about love Before I went away CHORUS O B stands for bobble I suppose And H it stands for hat If you think that yopu're goin' to have your wicked way with me Get away out of that Oh get away out of that my dear Oh get away out of that Cos I hear that you've done the dirty on me And behaving like a prat "Come lie you down beside me love Together on the green Cos it's a long three-quarters of year or more Since together we have been" "Oh, I'll not lie with you my love I'll not give you a ride For you've been courtin' another pretty maid And your heart's no longer mine" CHORUS "Oh I will climb the tall tall tree And I'll rob the wild bird's nest If I can't get inside the pants Of the girl that I love best" "If I thought you loved me best my love Then gladly I'd undress But you can keep your sweet-talk going all night You'll meet with no success" CHORUS But the canny boy with soothing tongue He charmed the maiden fair And soon he had her on her back With her legs up in the air Her naked derriere my love Her naked derriere He patted her bum and like a bodhran drum The rhythm filled the air CHORUS
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:28 AM Ooops ... some of my line breaks went a wee bit aglae. Ignore the above! Genie … Good parody (and of a song which, in my humble opinion, is fit only for parodying!). Here's a pisstake of yet another song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" B STANDS FOR BOBBLE, I SUPPOSE As I went out one May morning To take a pleasant walk I hid myself in a badger's hole To hear to lovers talk To hear what they might say, my love To hear what they might say That I might know a little more about love Before I went away CHORUS O B stands for bobble I suppose And H it stands for hat If you think that you're goin' to have your wicked way with me Get away out of that Oh get away out of that my dear Oh get away out of that Cos I hear that you've done the dirty on me And behaving like a prat "Come lie you down beside me love Together on the green Cos it's a long three-quarters of year or more Since together we have been" "Oh, I'll not lie with you my love I'll not give you a ride For you've been courtin' another pretty maid And your heart's no longer mine" CHORUS "Oh I will climb the tall tall tree And I'll rob the wild bird's nest If I can't get inside the pants Of the girl that I love best" "If I thought you loved me best my love Then gladly I'd undress But you can keep your sweet-talk going all night You'll meet with no success" CHORUS But the canny boy with soothing tongue He charmed the maiden fair And soon he had her on her back With her legs up in the air Her naked derriere my love Her naked derriere He patted her bum and like a bodhran drum The rhythm filled the air CHORUS
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:36 AM Mudself, I goofed on the second line of this song, so I'm reposting it, with the correction. Can you please delete the first post? Thanks,
Sonja |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:45 AM Bollocks! I still hadn't managed to clean up the errors to the extent that I'd have liked. Ignore both posts above! Sonja … Good parody (and of a song which, in my humble opinion, is fit only for parodying!). Here's a piss-take of yet another song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" B STANDS FOR BOBBLE, I SUPPOSE As I went out one May morning To take a pleasant walk I hid myself in a badger's hole To hear to lovers talk To hear what they might say, my love To hear what they might say That I might know a little more about love Before I went away CHORUS O B stands for bobble I suppose And H it stands for hat If you think that you're goin' to have your wicked way with me Get away out of that Oh get away out of that my dear Oh get away out of that Cos I hear that you've done the dirty on me And behaving like a prat "Come lie you down beside me love Together on the green Cos it's a long three-quarters of year or more Since together we have been" "Oh, I'll not lie with you my love I'll not give you a ride For you've been courtin' another pretty maid And your heart's no longer mine" CHORUS "Oh I will climb the tall tall tree And I'll rob the wild bird's nest If I can't get inside the pants Of the girl that I love best" "If I thought you loved me best my love Then gladly I'd undress But you can keep your sweet-talk going all night You'll meet with no success" CHORUS But the canny boy with soothing tongue He charmed the maiden fair And soon he had her on her back With her legs up in the air Her naked derriere my love Her naked derriere He patted her bum and like a bodhran drum The rhythm filled the air CHORUS
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 02 - 09:12 AM Sonja and Derrymacash, a Boul of Badger Broth to the pair of youse, a laugh a line, great stuff. Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 02 - 09:14 AM Sonja and Derrymacash, a Boul of Badger Broth to the pair of youse, a laugh a line, great stuff. And I thought I was on the Thread"Songs my mother taught me" Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 11:18 AM Another parody of a song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" – this time of "The Little Drummer" sung superbly by Christy Moore. THE LITTLE BOBBLE-HAT I went for a stroll in the woods of Penrith The evening being fair, me progress was swift Till my eyes were surprised by a wondrous sight A maiden, the fairest I'd seen in my life Next day I said unto my comrades "I met a fair lady in a Penrith wood glade And this pretty maiden she has me heart won And if she denies me I'm surely undone" So early next morning it's up that I got And dressed myself up in my fine bobble-hat In my hat with its bobble so gallant I stood And straight made my way to Penrrith's green woods In my hat with its bobble I bowed unto she "Pardon me lady for being so free Dear honoured lady you have me heart won And if you deny me I'm surely undone" "In your hat with its bobble, pray what can you mean? I'm the lord's daughter a high Lancastrian Do you think I'd consort with a commoner like thee Be off bobble-hat boy, quit making so free" "Me fine honoured lady your words break my heart Fine honoured lady your words sting and smart If you reject me, my own blood I'll spill And I'll send me soul down to heaven or hell I'll cut my own throat or I'll spill my own guts Or I'll hang from yon tree where the high branches jut For to hear your denial, it causes me pain To live on without you would surely be vain" "Come back, bobble-hat, sure I'm here at your will I cannot bear innocent blood to be spilled Let's hire us a car and to Penrith we'll go And there we will marry in spite of our foes My father will scream and my father will shout And he'll ask how this marriage has since come about And I'll keep me nerve, no matter what And say I fell in love with the bob on your hat" And there in the woods the bargain was sealed Fine silk and satin from her body I peeled She fell to the ground and I did the job As she wore my fine woollen hat with the bob
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 11:54 AM Yet another parody of a song from Cold Blow And The Rainy Night – this time of "The Lakes Of Ponchartrain". THE GIRL IN THE BOBBLE-HAT It being a fine May morning I bid Penrith adieu And I took the road for Lancaster, my fortune to renew At the back of the Oasis, by the badger-hole, there sat The prettiest girl in all the world, the girl in the bobble-hat I sat myself beside her in the early-morning sun It was the depths of evening before I rose again The stranger 'came a friend to me in just ten minutes flat And I feel in love with the bonny girl in the bonny bobble-hat I said "My pretty maiden the omens here are good That I should chance to come upon such beauty in the woods" "You're welcome here kind stranger" and then bestowed a kiss "We never turn a stranger away in the woods around Penrith" She then removed her garments and treated me right well The hair around her shoulders in jet-black ringlets fell Naked as a baby upon the ground she sat Free of coat or vestment, save for her bobble-hat I asked her if she'd marry me, she said that could never be For she'd a love already, and he was far at sea She said that she would wait for him, although he was a prat To ever leave fair Penrith town and his maid in the bobble-hat So it's fare thee well me bonny young girl, our parting was for good But I'll not forget your kindness in the clearing in the wood For the local badgerologists filmed our love-play And they ran me off a copy and I watch it every day
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 02 - 12:28 PM Derrymacash, It must have been the Nettle Champ the Pollens and the Porter, that weaned the ribald rants and rhymes, that lie below your Mortar. Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 04:29 PM Nice one ard mhacha ... maybe a wee bit of the Black Bush as well (and the odd nip of Cushendall poitin). |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:24 AM Áine, when you get back to us, Derry, Sonja and I have screwed up a few posts and had to repost 'em, so we've got a few duplicates to delete. (Mudself, if you get to 'em first, be our guests.) Genie P.S., You owe some people (notably Derry) a few B.L.O.B.s. Derry's about to bust a gusset coming up with all these gems! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 04:24 AM A parody of "The Green Fields of Canada", which means that in this thread to date I have parodied every song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night". THE NEW GREEN FIELDS OF CANADA Farewell to the girls in their warm and woolly bobble-hats Farewell to the girls of Cumbria all round May their hearts be as merry as ever I would wish them It's far, far away across the ocean I'm bound Oh my wife she is mad, oh my wife she is ripping To learn of my adventures it grieves her heart sore Oh the tears in great drops down her cheeks they are rolling And now she has banished me to a foreign shore What matters to me whether I am married? I had no inclination to be faithful to my wife On the green fields of Canada they daily are blooming It's there I'll put an end to my misery and strife Then it's pack up your sea stores and tarry no longer Since that cruel-hearted woman has driven you away There'll be lots of pretty girls in pretty woollen headwear To please a new arrival to Amerikay The badgers go unwatched and the TV crews abandoned The Oasis has closed down and the woods look all forlorn Away across the ocean, good hardy country stallions And those who shed their breeks in order to perform But I mind the time when my love life it was flourishing With girls in winter woollen hats, one and two and three But since my wedded wife was appraised of my unfaithfulness It's now she has driven me across the Western sea And now to conclude and to finish my ditty If a bobble-hatted damsel should ever pass my way To a spot of rowdy-dow I will treat her, and welcome, At home on the green fields of Amerikay
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 04:49 AM A spoof on the words which Planxty sing on their version of "The Frost Is All Over". Which means that the only song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" which I haven't parodied in this thread is "Baneasa's Green Glade". Which, no offence to you, Andy, is my least favourite track on this album. Still … in the interests of a song challenge!, I'll give it a crack in a few minutes… I don't know what I was talking about above, there!!! What would you do if I tumbled you over? What would I do, only pull you on top. Would you perform in a woolly pullover? Not on your life, but a big wolly cap. The night it has come and the cameras are rolling Kitty lie over next to the tree You to be damp and me to be swollen Kitty lie over next to the tree Paddy, she says, you are rough as a badger Kitty lie over next to the tree I'll have me a shave just as soon as I've had 'ye (Groan!) Kitty lie over next to the tree
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 05:32 AM OK with the following parody of "Baneasa's Green Glade" I have *now* parodied every song from Planxty's "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night". What a labour of love it's been … Some of you have remarked on how prolific I've been of late. That's cos the job I'm doing at the minute is a wee bit "slack" … However ( and you, my friends on Mudcat, are among the first to know this) I have just been offered a new job. So at some stage in the near future I envisage having a lot less time to spend on song challenge!s. However, in the meantime, I'll go at it hammer and tong! PS when typing this out, I got confused in my mind's ear as to the tunes of Baneasa's Green Glades (which I don't much like) and Síle Ní Ghadhra as sung by Cathy Jordan of Dervish - which I *do* very much like. If you're familiar with the latter try singing the song to that air and see how well they gel! CUMBRIA'S GREEN GLADES When I was a youth in the prime of my life I never knew bother I never knew strife I rolled through the hay with the comeliest maids Or succumbed to their charms in Cumbria's green glades From the woods of Penrith to the town of Carlisle I travelled the county, aye mile after mile With the lassies I met, I sported and played And cuddled and kissed them in Cumbria's green glades Until one I met in a hat that was knitted And all on the top, a wee tassel fitted I said "You have beauty". She said "Looks will fade So before they do, take me in Cumbria's green glades" From the cool shades of evening, till up rose the sun We played and we sported, and always in fun Till up rose the damsel and straightaway made A path to her home though Cumbria's green glade "Oh pretty fair maiden, are you going away To leave me heart-sore at the dawn of the day" She sighed, "My young man, we have sported and played But now I must leave you in Cumbria's green glade" My poor heart was broken with anguish and pain As I thought my true love I may not see again "Did you not enjoy the love that we made At it like badgers in Cumbria's green glades?" "I did not enjoy, though I made lots of noise But my job in this life is to trap fair young boys And on closed-circuit telly our love games displayed To a load of oul' perverts in Cumbria's green glades" And so with these words she flitted like smoke The thought of her treachery near made me boke Never before have I been so betrayed By a pretty fair maid in Cumbria's green glade
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 11 Jan 02 - 06:14 AM Well done A Chara, all the way to the wee hole in the middle,[the middle of the Disc, yeh dorty git,]Slan Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:16 PM I love it, Derry! So many songs about the fair maid being left the morning after the dalliance. 'Bout time the tables were turned! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 05:19 PM Tables turn ... like worms! I'm drunk! Where's herself? Oiche mhaith |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Calico Date: 12 Jan 02 - 04:59 AM Bare-Bottomed Carousers> Words: Calico (Tune: Bell Bottom Trousers] Once there was a barmaid worked in Cumbria Couldn't stand to be confined by knickers, shirts, and bras. She met a fellow nudist staying at the inn. Who said, "One should be free, unfettered as the wind!" Late in the evening, as snow began to fall, Suddenly they got the urge to answer nature's call. Up to the hilltop with assets waving free They ran through the forests giggling with glee. CHORUS: Singing "Bare-bottomed Carousers Cold and turning blue What the heck do we care? Darlin', I love you!" Now, unbeknownst to these two, th' Oasis had a plan To film Mother Nature with their critter cam. They've only got one channel in Cumbria, you see, And tourists need diversion and some levity. Just try to picture it-- the patrons in their beds, Expecting a badger, get a beaver shot instead! "Is this the nude Olympics or is it merely porn?-- Oh, no, it's just our waitress bare as she was born!" Chorus: "See the Bare-bottomed Carousers Cold and turning blue On the badger cam tonight Making their debut!" Now the moral of the story as you can plainly see: You never know what folks will do to get on the TV! If you have a hotel, closed-circuit fills the bill For very little overhead, your guests may get a thrill! Chorus: "See the Bare-bottomed Carousers Cold and turning blue On the badger cam tonight Making their debut!" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Matthew Edwards Date: 12 Jan 02 - 01:57 PM Before derry starts on the remaining repertoire of Planxty, and BTW congratulations on your new job, I've just been reading the Oasis holiday brochure. It is of course unfair to the company, but in the light of the events so thoroughly described in this thread some of the wording in the brochure is delightfully tantalising: Oasis..."can provide...a recreational paradise" with "ample opportunity to indulge in some valuable downtime." The accommodation is "attractively laid out, well equipped"..."nature in its full glory surrounds you on all sides, and the views are unbeatable." "the serene beauty of the forest and the gentle ways of its inhabitants are an enormous part of the attraction for guests." "As most of us lead such stressful lifestyles, it's only natural to seek out moments of sheer, unadulterated indulgence..." Well I for one know where I'd like to hold the next Mudcat gathering, to view the "serene beauty of the forest" wearing only her bobble hat, and I could certainly do with indulging in some valuable downtime. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 12 Jan 02 - 02:16 PM Áine, It dawned on me in the middle of the night (sounds like a good c/w song title, eh?) that I missed the most obvious and maybe funniest pun for "The Rose of Tralee." Instead of "'Twas not her beautiful bod that won me," the line should be "'Twas not her booty alone that won me." Will you please make that change for me? Also, the first verse should read "The pale moon was rising above the white mountain, The guests were reclining to watch their TV's,"... (The line breaks in the song also need a couple of corrections.) If you or another Joe Clone make these changes to my original post, any subsequent posts of "On Badger TV" can be deleted. Thanks, Sonja |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 02 - 02:23 PM Hey, Sonja -- this isn't a secretarial service or a literary agency!! I'd imagine the TGG has all she can handle with the volunteer work she's already doing!! No offense intended, sure, but, I'd leave it as I posted it, if I wuz you. A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 12 Jan 02 - 04:12 PM Well, I'd be glad to help out with little "fixes" like this (i.e, help out in a Joe-clone capacity) if someone will tell me how to get the job. Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 02 - 06:49 PM Well, gang, I have bespoke the Goddess all beseechingly to return unto our humble altar and bless us anew with her presence and she says she will soon, a day or so, as soon as she recovers from YATIDA (a new acronym just coined for her especially, stands for Yet another Trauma-Inducing domestic Adventure) -- this one involving an effort to build a birdbath with 100-pound stones carried single handedly up a steep hill. She says her back is a little sore. Hmmmmmm....:>) Well, at least she is adding long-term resale value to the place. If she kills herself improving it, BBH will see the proceeds. Sigh.... Hear us, oh Lime One!! Send thy green Ooobleck upon us that we may meet Thy Challenges!! A
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 12 Jan 02 - 09:23 PM While we await the return of the goddess to health and to our presence, here's another humble offering. Genie Bare But For Sportin' Lyrics: Genie (Apologies to Phil Ochs) Show me the TV set in your room, Show me the channel that's closed-circuit (with a zoom), And I'll show you, lodgers, way upon the hill so high, That bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di, Hugh and Di. We've showed you the alley cats and the squirrels; We've showed you lots of critters for your little boys and girls; A new show's now showin'--not sure the reasons why-- Where bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di. Hugh and Di. Have they had too much whiskey? Are their brains on the floor? Was it here from the barroom that they sprinted out the door? It's showin' on your TV That was meant for badger spies That bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di, Hugh and Di. See? There's the forest where the snow starts to fall. See the two looney guests who've answered Nature's call? Wearin' just a bobble hat, silhouetted 'gainst the sky And bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di, Hugh and Di. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 02 - 09:30 PM Cracking up, Genie!! I can just hear Joan Baez singing it in that deeply feeling way she had for the real meaningful songs....LOL! We certainly are bringing out bushels of talent around here! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 13 Jan 02 - 04:55 AM Thanks, Amos. Your "Grapevine" parody wasn't chopped liver, either! I'm afraid none of us can keep up with Derrymacash, though! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Argenine Date: 13 Jan 02 - 11:05 PM Bobbles, Booty, and Things Words: Argenine Tune: Baubles, Bangles, and Beads
Bobbles, booty, strange dangly things, dangle-dangle.
They're flashing their beams so |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:58 AM Oh no, I hear you groan. The bollix has decided to move on to another Planxty album! 'Fraid so, folks … A parody of "The Good Ship Kangaroo" as sung by Christy on "After The Break". THE BAD SHIP KANGAROO Once I was a naval man who sailed the stormy seas Now I am a landlubber, a life that doesn't please Cos I've always loved seafaring life and I'd love again to do The rounding of the Horn aboard the Good Ship Kangaroo CHORUS I never thought she would prove false Or either prove untrue And I stepped on shore at Fleetwood From the Good Ship Kangaroo In search of drink and women I tried a dozen places And ended up in Penrith at a joint called the Oasis And there I met a pretty maid and offered her a jar And then we had another in the basement cocktail bar One thing lead to another, as I had hoped it might She suggested that we go outside and I put up no fight And in a woodland clearing we performed a timeless act In that leafy glade we two made the beast that has two backs CHORUS But back in the Oasis, my darling disappeared And left me on my ownsome, with a half-drained glass of beer And I was taken prisoner as a squad of police descended "Young sailor blokey, to the chokey! You've been apprehended." CHORUS In the days and weeks that followed a sorry tale emerged They knew of a pornographic clique, it was high time for a purge The members operated from a lengthy list of places One of which was a hotel which goes by the name Oasis And there this clique assembled, with some flimsy alibi That they use closed circuit telly on badgers for to spy But all the time they're watching with no little fascination A string of naked couples in al fresco copulation CHORUS But what of the young female who lured me to my fate? The law made no arrest of her I'm sorry to relate For she was wise and well-prepared and knew the heat was on Before the cops were on their way, me fine young blade was gone And on the confiscated footage, my face was in plain view But she was skilled in subterfuge and knew just what to do As we undressed for action, that dirty little rat Over her fair features, pulled down her bobble hat CHORUS
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:27 AM Ah, Derry, ye've done it! No one can match this last poetic episode of yours! Wad some powr the giftie gie me The golden cowchip to award thee, 'twd to naen but thee be gi'en [is that how you spell it?] Especially for lines such as: "And in a woodland clearing we performed a timeless act In that leafy glade we two made the beast that has two backs." Genie (humbly owning to have been out-versed). |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:00 AM Also from "After The Break", "The Rambling Boys of Pleasure" lends itself very well to parodying in this thread … You ramblin' boys of pleasure pay heed unto these words I write I own I am a rover, in rambling I take great delight I cast my eye on a pretty girl and I lose all sense of self-control And so arose my sticky end, my last days I'll spend in the badger-hole It was to the woods near Penrith Town, that my love and I our way did tread The night bein' cold and the wind bein' keen, she kept her hat all on her head And I was lost in some deep rapture, and didn't even notice yet The tell-tale signs, the faults and tremors, around the mouth of the badger's sett Well my final thrust, inspired by passion, was the straw that broke the camel's back The earth gave way and I was falling into a chamber dark and black Where ever since I've been imprisoned, a once-grand home that the badgers left And my poor heart is forever breaking, forever more I am bereft I wish I was in Penrith Town, and my true love to be in heat We'd forsake the thought of the open-air, to my feather-bed we would retreat And I would play a handsome medley, upon its springs of tempered steel "The Blackberry Blossom", "Paddy Fahy's", "Junior Crehan's" and "The Dublin Reel" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:07 AM A parody of "The Rambling Siúler" from Planxty's "After The Break" THE HIGHLAND BOYS Oh, the Highland boys are headed south, we've crossed near sweet Carlisle And we're in need of a few stiff drinks after travelling many's the mile And so to the town of famed Penrith, the Highland boys repaired forthwith Our progress fast, our progress swift as befits all rambling siúlers We wound up in all sorts of bars, in all sorts of seedy places Until at last we chanced upon the country club "Oasis" "This looks like the sort of spot, a man could enjoy a decent shot Of beer that's cold and whiskey hot, to soothe the rambling siúler" And when at last the round was got, we were seated by the fire The serving lassie caught my eye, her form I did admire "Young lady fair, you've caught my eye; I do not wish to prod or pry But would you wish tonight to lie with this young rambling siúler" The other lads to giggling fell, that I should be so bold And thinking that the serving-lass would treat me mean and cold But oh, their looks of great surprise, when the serving-lassie flashed her eyes And said "Oh yes. That would be nice. Let's go, young rambling siúler!" And so we two did disappear into the trees and bushes And all night long upon her neck I planted kisses luscious And all night long her bobble bobbed, and in the morning my friends mobbed "Good man, you did a lovely job. God bless all rambling siúlers." |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:50 AM A parody of "The Pursuit of Farmer Michael Hayes" from "After The Break", which presumes that Michael Hayes is transplanted to England. And rather than being a farmer, he is instead … Oh I'll let the song speak for itself! THE PURSUIT OF THE CHARMER MICHAEL HAYES I am a bold undaunted fox, that's never once been trapped or caught I've sowed my oats all over unbeknownst to my good wife Until of late I was betrayed, by a bobble-hatted blade And then I fled, so's to evade, a stabbing with a knife From Penrith Town to Windermere, in the Lakes I sought to disappear From there across the Pennines, in Whitby I did hide And then I took a steer due south, and crossed across the Humber's mouth (And remarked how many Mudcatters in Hull there do reside! We had a session in the Jug, I hardly dared to show my mug But at singing and the music I'm blessed with a little skill And dancin', aye and telling tales, and drinking gallons of real ale But off I've got to go again, she's closin' for the kill) Through the Midlands, like a hare, then on to Wales I did repair In Bristol Town I rested, I slept just like a log But up at dawn replete with rest, I journeyed to the south-and-west But all the while she tailed me, like a hunting-dog I had a surf off Newquay Beach (Ireland was just out of reach Or else I would have drifted to the land across the pond) And heading east I passed Stonehenge, and all the while she sought revenge She'd never give up on her chase, be it never mind how long In London Town I made a vow, no matter what, no matter how My fugitive existence would have to terminate I'd face the one to whom I'm wed, her sweet forgiveness I would beg And so it was by Tower Bridge I did await my fate "Michael Hayes, you're full of lies; tricks and cons and alibis The day I walked the aisle for you, is a day I sore regret" And out she pulled a knitting pin, she found my heart and plunged it in And I sank to the footpath and haven't got up yet There was great contentment on her face, as she walked from my resting-place The glow of satisfaction burned for many days This gory death that she's achieved has left her feeling much relieved To cause the termination of the charmer Michael Hayes |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:03 PM A skit on "The Bonny Light Horseman" from "After The Break", thereby completing another album's worth of parodies … MY BLOODY GLIPE, THE WHORESMAN Ye wise maids and widows, pray listen to me To this sad tale I rehearse unto thee A maid in distress who will be a rover Her hub's rolled one too many young girls in the clover CHORUS Broken-hearted I'll wander Broken-hearted I'll remain For my bloody glipe, the whoresman Is at his tricks again It's three years and six months since first he started to a-whore My bloody glipe, the whoresman, I hope I never see him more He's mounted oh so many girls, he's easy and he's free And among the ranks of the wanton, respected is he CHORUS His boney oul' body I never could stand And glad I am today that he's vanished from the land He's gone to foreign countries with the lassie with the bobble She's gone away and scarpered with the source of all my trouble CHORUS The dove she laments for her mate as she flies But I couldn't give a bugger if he lives or if he dies For the dove that I once mated, the dove I loved the best Has flown away and left me after shitting in the nest CHORUS |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:46 PM Well, I'm not gonna bother working this one through, but I can't resist posting this little snippet (with sincere[?] apologies to Carly Simon). Ad for The Oasis Village: "Our tourists jog at night with no pants on. Their naked butts shine in the dark... Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:41 PM Genie, You are right, that bloody man is an unstoppable avalanche, he`s on another roll. Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Bradypus Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:15 PM Just because no-one else has used the tune, here's something to Ilkley Moor ...
Thy Yellow Bobble Hat
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:40 PM Good one, Pus! Sonja |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:07 PM Geez Louise, That Goddess better show up soon -- there's so much talent overflowing around here, we'll drown on a single theme!! LOL!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 15 Jan 02 - 04:49 AM For all my crowing and bumming about having polished off "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night", I had a wee reminder that I left out parodying one song. Help! I can't cope! (Johnny Cope that it is!) HOW CAN I COPE? Johnny's sent a message to his girl Sayin' my flag of love I will unfurl Shall we give the woods a whirl Before the break of mornin'? CHORUS How can I cope, I am fit to burst Like an alcoholic with a thirst With a need for lovin' I am cursed Let's go to the woods before the mornin' When Jenny heard her Johnny's plea She dressed herself most splendidly And for the woods did quickly flee To join her love before the mornin' CHORUS Johnny be as good as your word And run me through with your long pork sword Do not leave me wantin' more When the night blends into mornin' CHORUS When Johnny Cope he heard of this He hugged his Jenny and he gave a kiss And soon he sprung in readiness For a night of love till mornin' CHORUS But as he grabs her and he takes a hold Jenny shivers with the cold And Johnny fears that he'll score no goal A cold old night till the mornin' CHORUS The threat of cold fills the pair with dread No nocturnal lovin', slinkin' home instead Till a bright idea enters Jenny's head And they're set to make love until the mornin' CHORUS For Jenny has a hat with a bobble sewn And it's over her ears she pulls it down And Johnny whispers "It's a crown And you'll be my queen till the mornin'" CHORUS Fye now Johnny, get up and run For the security guard is makin' a din The pair of us with nothing next our skin We'll be in jail in the mornin' CHORUS But Johnny says we'll stay our ground For I'll not be scared by that feeble clown If he lays a finger, then his face I'll pound Till his mother wouldn't know him in the mornin'! CHORUS |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 15 Jan 02 - 06:13 AM A mischievous friend e-mailed me to ask if the well had any bottom. I took that to be a veiled reference to a request to start work on "The Well Below The Valley" or "The Woman I Loved So Well". Sorry … the well does have a bottom … here are two final Planxty parodies … of "Cúnla" from "The Well Below The Valley" and "True Love Knows No Season" from "The Woman I Loved So Well". Who is that there that's slashing the undergrowth (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Cúnla dear, don't come any nearer me (x3) Maybe I will says Cúnla Who is that there that's clearing a space for me (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there that's rippin' the clothes off me (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there that's wobblin'me tassel-o (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there, all captured on video (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there that's fled from security (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who in his haste, got caught on a barbed-wire fence (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there, his wound all festerin' (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there, they're cutting his todger off (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO REASON Billy Gray was a bad man Well known not to give a damn He came from a townland Near Lake Windermere And Sarah was a bit naïve (At least we local folks believed) She wore her heart upon her sleeve And was younger than her years CHORUS But true love knows no reason And this is not the season To peel off your kit And get naked in the open air Wear a wool-hat with a bobble If you intend to dabble In any sort of carry-on That requires you getting' bare Billy was a charmer Though he didn't mean to harm 'er He hoped to pierce the armour Of her virginity To the woods he led her Planning for to thread her And after he'd betrayed her He'd flee the vicinity CHORUS But our Sarah was not so chaste As was generally held to be the case For carnal love she had a taste As Billy was to find And as he was nearing Her standing in the clearing He saw she was leering He knew what was on her mind CHORUS Her appetite gigantic Sarah was near frantic The force of Sarah's antics Made oul' Billy tired So when security gave chase Billy fell flat on his face Too knackered to maintain the pace That his escape required CHORUS
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 15 Jan 02 - 06:41 AM I jusat wonder if the two love birds that have brought out the best [the dorty gits] in Mudsites magnificent rhymers, have ever been told. Would someone in that lovely part of England please pass on the message that through their antic in the woods, they have also given us on this thread, lots of pleasure. Ard Mhacha. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Nerd (work computer) Date: 15 Jan 02 - 04:32 PM Jesus, Derry, if you take on two more albums you're gonna need help! Try this one out...the title song from "Well Below the Valley"
A gentleman was passing by |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Nerd Date: 15 Jan 02 - 04:38 PM Or, instead of right upon her noggin-o, you could sing "right between their tushes-o!"
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 15 Jan 02 - 05:11 PM Hurrah ... the cavalry has arrived! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 16 Jan 02 - 02:34 AM Well, so far, Derry, if I count right, you've penned 22 gems for this one Challenge! That's enough for an anothology on the topic! An' a good 'un, at that! That'll teach Áine to beware playing hooky--when you come back, you've got lots of homework! BTW, Áine, I hope all is well there at Moon On the Hill. (Breaking rocks is too harsh a penance for being away a while.) Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 16 Jan 02 - 03:57 AM Genie ... I don't know if you've seen the "finally made it to belfast" thread ... but a gauntlet's been thrown down there to do a wee job of work ... So in fairness to all ... I think this horse might have been flogged a little too vigorously of late ... 22 entries ... Bloody hell ... I'll have to start taking the tablets again! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 16 Jan 02 - 12:45 PM Ah, but ye flog the horse so adeptly, Derry, my man! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: katlaughing Date: 16 Jan 02 - 07:40 PM HeyaFolks, This is a message for you all from Aine. She asked me to let you know that she tried to do an impersonation of Sisyphus and now her back hurts so badly she is unable to sit at her computer! She got a fine Scots blessing from me, as my dad would call a chewing out, for doing so! **BG** Don't worry, lots of love and sympathy, too. Anyway, she says you all have been doing a really wonderful job, esp. noting that Derrymacash has done no less than TWENTY-TWO, count 'em, 22 entries and she hopes to be able to get back on the computer, soon. Despite this, watch for a new Song Challenge, as she is going to ask Dear Hubby to post one for her. If ya feel the inclination, you might send her some good thoughts, like her floating in a warm seasalt inlet, letting go of all that pain and stress of pushing those dang 100 pound boulders up her driveway for a birdbath of all things!!**BG** Aine, when you read this...sorry darlin'....I had to do some recruiting so that you will take care of yerself!**BG** luvyaLOTS...kat |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: alison Date: 16 Jan 02 - 07:51 PM the last time she did all this heavy work Kat, she sent you with a message to say that her "tits were perky"..... so come on.... enquiring minds want to know..... *grin* get better soon Aine..... slainte alison |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: katlaughing Date: 17 Jan 02 - 01:15 AM Oh, Alison, what a memory!! I think that was about the time those cute garden service guys tried to hire her! As far as I know everything is still perky!**BG** |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 17 Jan 02 - 04:48 AM To the tune of "John Henry" – A get well song for Áine Áine, she's a tearing up her garden She's a-diggin' and a-haulin' day and night Till one of her neighbours sneaked a look across the fence And wondered "Why ha'n't I heard the bangs of dynamite? Lord, lord Why ha'n't I heard the bangs of dynamite?" Cos Áine was fairly shifting earth boys She dug about a continent or two I shouted to her neighbour "Better get you out the way Else she might just end up digging you, Lord, lord Else might just end up digging you" The Texan human excavator She's digging like a JCB Someone better chuck a spanner in her works Else she'll dig from sea to shining sea Lord, lord Else she'll dig from sea to shining sea And then there comes the sound of rupture It's noisy as a thunderclap And Áine's on the ground, and she's rolling all around Saying "Fellas help me … I think something's snapped Lord, lord Fellas help me … I think something's snapped" The moral of this story The moral of this tune Is – sod off, there isn't any moral Áine, chara, get well soon Lord lord Áine, chara, get well soon |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:58 AM I just realized I spelled "butt" wrong in my Phil Ochs parody above. It should be "Bare-butt For Sportin'" instead of "Bare But For Sportin'." I made the same mistake in the hook line of each verse. (I probably penned it while sleep deprived.) Derrymacash's song for Áine, along with others by Amos, Micca, etc., is posted in the current "Get Well, Áine" thread. Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 17 Jan 02 - 03:45 PM The "Get Well, Áine" thread is here. Sonja |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:12 AM Get well soon Aine
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 08 Jun 02 - 03:52 PM Well, I got better, 'nuff said. Here are the Cow Chip Awards for all 41 entries for this Challenge! (and derrymacash, it's a good thing you got a job, so you can't do this to me anymore!)
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):
song title edited per request by mudelf ;-)
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja (with egg on face) Date: 08 Jun 02 - 07:45 PM Thanks so much for the Cow Chips, Áine. I just realized I forgot to change the Irving Berlin title when I parodied "Alexander's Ragtime Band." The title for this Song Challenge! was supposed to be "The Oasis Badger Cam." ~SWO~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 08 Jun 02 - 08:34 PM Never fear, Sonja dear, with a wave of TGG's wand, all has become rightly entitled - on the awards' post and in the Songbook. ;-) -- Áine |
Share Thread: |
Subject: | Help |
From: | |
Preview Automatic Linebreaks Make a link ("blue clicky") |