Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!

Subject: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 12:58 PM

OK, youse guys! I wasn't gonna start this thread 'cause it seemed kinda in poor taste (at least if you take it seriously). But that recent thread on Changing Song Titles For Aging Audiences proves that Mudcatters don't always let that be an impediment to their fun, so here goes.

Some songs don't HAVE to have their titles changed for senior populations -- it's just that the songs may take on new meaning or relevance!

For example, when you are doing a gig at a nursing home, you might want to steer clear of:

Try To Remember
Don't Fence Me In
Dry Bones
I Almost Lost My Mind
Urge For Goin'

and a few others I can't think of at the moment.

Got any to add to the list?

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:00 PM

Oh, and it doesn't have to be the title that takes on new meaning. It can be a line such as:

"...Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be..."

or

"You promised that you'd forget me not,
But you forgot to remember."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: JedMarum
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:07 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:11 PM

Also:

Please Help Me, I'm Falling!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: JedMarum
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:12 PM

Well - it won't add to the humor of this thread, but I frequently sing Goodnight Irene to the old folks, and at regular shows. But when I sing to the old folks,

if Irene don't come back to me, my tears will never run dry ...

At the other shows, I don;t mind taking morphine to die - but the old folks cringe at the morphine comment!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:20 PM

And in a similarly SERIOUS vein, when I sing

There'll Be Some Changes Made*

I change "...Nobody wants you when you're old and grey..." to "...Life is for living, so we're on our way..." or something like that!

Genie

*This is another title that can take on a new meaning in a nursing home.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:21 PM

Just thought of another:

I Wonder As I Wander

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Anita Walker
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:39 PM

How about "The Wanderer"?

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Nemesis
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 04:48 PM

"Has anyone seen my teeth?"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: vectis
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 05:15 PM

"Ain't it grand to be bloody well dead"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Banjer
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 06:07 PM

I always thought Grandfather's Clock would be a horrible thing to play for the old folks.

'....and it stopped,.....short.....never to go again.....when the old man........died!

Maybe not though, I guess it all depends on the audience.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: kendall
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 07:15 PM

Blue hairs driving in my lane

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: JedMarum
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 07:22 PM

I sing My Grandfather's Clock to them all the time. They love it, and many sing along. I tell them a bit about the background of the song too.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 08:15 PM

Kendall, that's terrible!

I probably wouldn't sing "Bloody Well Dead" unless someone requested it. However, I think they'd enjoy burying "Old Stromalong," especially if we added the verse about "Throwing in stones and rocks, and we don't give a damn if we break the box!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 08:25 PM

'ohhhh! its nice to get up in the morning- but its nicer to stay in bed!'


'maids when you're young never weed an old man'

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Willie-O
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 08:36 PM

Could it be that you're maybe being over-analytical here? If the repertoire is those well-loved, familiar songs, it's not going to be real shocking to any of them...

Once I was at a fiddle contest, and the emcee--you know the type, real cornball all the way--called the winners of the "oldest couple" contest up on stage. They he sang "You're too old to cut the mustard" to the gent and "The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be" for the lady.

Now that even I found a tad disrespectful. Talk about getting personal!

Guy's name was Cletus something-or-other...
W-O

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 09:23 PM

Kendall, Charley, I sing "Grandfather's Clock" for senior audiences every year (on Grandparents' Day and on Fathers' Day, too). They don't seem to be bothered by the "old man died" line. They just think "ninety years" isn't really THAT old! *G*

Mr Happy
"Oh, How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning!" is a favorite among the WWII generation (as it was for their parents).


And, oh, maids should be advised never to "wed an old man," too -- not just never to "weed" him! *G*

But actually, folks this thread was intended to be facetious!

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 11:00 PM

it only hurts when i laarf!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:21 AM

Smells like Teen Spirit?

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:28 AM

Forget the songs; I'm glad I remembered to take my bass in its gig bag instead of the hard case I bought for it. Somehow I feared the casket-shaped "Coffin Case" (really - that's the brand name) upon which I'd had an artist friend paint a white lily might not be seen in a respectful light!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Declan
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:44 AM

Myself and a Friend of mine were entertaining some old folks a while ago and my friend did "Try to Remember" - I managed to stop myself from dedicating the song to anyone suffering from auld timers disease. I know its not funny, but I think that's why we tend to laugh at it.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 06:53 AM

Anything by that Mr Zimmerman might be in poor taste too!

R

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:35 AM

I'm not allowed to sing any songs in this bloomin' nursing 'ome any more. As soon as I starts, one of the nurses blows the whistle an' they all jumps on me - Big Bertha usually sits on my kisser - which I'd enjoy if it wernt for her flatulence wot knocked me out cold last time. I woz only singing the one abaht "The 'airs on her dicky-dido 'ang dahn to 'er knees". Mindyer, Big Bertha's start well below 'er knees and go all the way upwards and when matron 'asn't shaved for a week, 'er beard goes right down 'er neck.

If any of yer poncey folk clubs wants some real songs - why don't yer give me a go. That also goes for any of you young birds like that Liz the Squeak (I used to 'ave a bird wot sqeaked - but a bit of vaseline used to cure that) or that there Mrs Duck (I like girls wot ducks down) an also that PussyPiddle or whatever she calls 'erself - they all sound like real young go-ers.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: kendall
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 08:40 AM

I'm Heading for the last roundup.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:30 PM

Declan, lots of times the nursing home and retirement home residents are the first ones to make jokes about Alzheimer's, arthritis, and even death. I can sometimes join them in the joke, since many of these folks are my parents' age, so I'm not far behind. But if I were a 20- or 30-something telling arthritis jokes, it'd be kinda like a honkie telling black ghetto jokes, I think.

Genie

Good one, Kendall! LOL!
(That's the kind of song title I'm looking for!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:32 PM

Never sing "I Can't Help But Wonder Where I'm Bound" -- or, for that matter, "I Can't Help But Wonder Why I'm Bound" in the "locked unit."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GutBucketeer
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:46 PM

Old and in the Way
See That My Grave is Kept Clean - Blind Lemon Jefferson
Fixin' To Die - Dylan
My Back Pages - Dylan
I Want A Good Man (And I Want Him Bad) - Annette Hanshaw
Get Away Old Man Get Away - Frank Crumit

More later

JAB

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:50 PM

In the movie Ishtar, which the critics hated but I absolutely loved, Dustin Hoffman's character wrote a song for some regular patrons at the restaurant where he played: I'm Leaving Some Love in My Will.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:52 PM

What about "Me 'usband's got no courage in 'im",
and there was a line in a song which went "I never knew what day it was----"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:24 PM

Definitely not Shel Silverstein's "Still Gonna Die"



Cheers


Steven

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Marion
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:53 PM

Genie, I sing "Don't Fence Me In" all the time, and people seem to like it.

Also, I often sing "The Gambler" which people also seem to enjoy, but I'm a little uncomfortable singing the line, "The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep..."

Marion

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:34 PM

Marion, everybody, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SILLY THREAD!

I'm not really looking for songs that are inappropriate for nursing homes -- just song titles or phrases that have at least a double entendre in that setting (at least to the staff and many residents)!

If you gave the activity director (or nursing staff) a playlist for an Alzheimer's unit that inlcluded
"Urge For Goin'"
"Don't Fence Me In"
"The Wanderer"
"Headin' For The Last Roundup"
and
"Try To Remember"
they might have to stifle a chuckle.

That's what the thread was about (sort of a sister thread to the one about changing song titles for an aging population).

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:50 PM

Get up and go by Pete Seager might just provoke a reaction.
Bill (the sound)

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: X
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 06:28 PM

We once did "Sam Stone" at a VA hospital.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:32 PM

So that the Parkinsons people don't feel left out, there was a song in the 60's called "Shaking all over", not to mention "Shake, rattle and roll".

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Strupag
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 09:20 PM

How about
There were two in the bed and the little one said;
Roll over!

Andy

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:36 PM

Jenny O, that's the idea!

And in psychiatric units, never sing:

"Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Genie

Strupag, I always heard that song with a lot more than only two in the bed (usually it started out with about eight and it finally gets down to two).

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: khandu
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:49 PM

Dem Bones, dem bones ,dem dry bones...

My Farewell Party

Oh, That Smell, can you smell that smell, the smell of death's around you. (What is the name of that Lynryd Skynyrd song?)

Just Enough to Keep me Hanging On

"Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Die" Rag

k

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: vectis
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 11:24 AM

"In heaven there is no beer"
That's why we drink it here

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: DougR
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 01:52 PM

"I'll be glad when you're dead you rascal you!"

Someone told me Alzheimers isn't so bad. You meet a lot nice new people every day!

DougR

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Argenine
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 10:32 PM

Yeah, Doug, and you get to hear new jokes every day, too!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 07:46 PM

Oh Death

CB

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Spreznib
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 07:54 PM

either best or worst, depending on the particular nursing home. Harry Nilsson got a british senior citizen's choir to sing along with him (on the album Son of Schmilsson) "I'd rather be dead, than wet my bed.....I'll tie my tie, till the day I die, but if I have to be fed, then I'd rather be dead...."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: kendall
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 09:12 PM

Doug, you can also hide your own Easter eggs.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 09:43 PM

and be your own Secret Santa, too!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Genie's Secret Santa
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 11:43 PM

Ah Ah ! there you go trying to sneak some clues out of unsuspecting 'catters, like poor old DougR. I'm not DougR , or M.Ted. I'm just me. Anyhow, they both play much better than I do.

Here's some more songs to what I have already posted:

Feed Your Frined with a Long Handled Spoon.
Grandpa's getting younger every day (a song to sing)
It must be swell to be laying out dead
Let the Zoomers Drool
Long As You've Got Your Health
Never Let Your Left Hand Know What Your Right Hand Is Doing
Papa's Getting Old Mama's Getting Hot.
Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone.
Frank Crumit's "Prune Song"
Shaking the Blues Away
That Chick's Too Young Too Fry
That's My Weakness Now (oi)
Unloved and Unclaimed

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 12:28 AM

Santa, you already posted to this thread? That'd narrow it down a bit, now, wouldn't it?

BTW,
"That's My Weakness Now" is a perfect one for this thread!

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Genie's Secret Santa
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 01:01 AM

      0
     / \
    /   \
   [|||||]
     0j0
   { <-> ) ---Ho Ho Ho (Heh Heh Heh) .....
    (   )
     (_)
  

Oh! Christmas time is coming, Christmast time is coming, It's my busiest time of year!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Jenny O
Date: 07 Dec 02 - 03:55 AM

" Everybody's talking at me....I don't hear a word they sayin'...only the echoes of my mind...."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 14 Dec 02 - 12:08 PM

Just thought of another one:

"Try to remember"