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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:00 AM And Ian....mentioning RUGBY songs.........THIS THREAD is a virtual "All Gargoyle Classic".....Let him sink his teeth into a subject he likes and........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:57 AM catspew49, i almost forgiv u- thanx for the gargle's version- brill cheers, mr h |
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Subject: Lyr Add: HUMORESQUE From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM IAN....Also, here is a set of lyrics that Gargoyle posted on one of the threads....You'll love them as well!!! HUMORESQUE Tune - Humoresque I love to go out after dark And goose the statues in the park, A lovely pastime at the close of day! Unperturbed they stand so still, While WHOOPS! it's me that gets the thrill. It really is a lovely way to play. I've noticed lately They stand so stately, Out there in the dark when dew is on the ground. I sometimes tease them And do displease them, If I fail to show up as the sun goes down. The Thinker is the only one With whom I can have no fun. He sits upon a boulder, rough and coarse. Napoleon sits upon his steed, I cannot goose him, no indeed, And so instead I goose his horse. Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station, I love you. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station, Moonlight always makes me think of you. If you simply have to go When other people are too slow, There is only one thing you can do. You'll just have to take a chance, Be brave and do it in your pants, But I'll forgive you, darling, I love you. Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station, I love you. If you have to pass some water, Kindly call the Pullman Porter. He'll place a vessel in the vestibule. If this method is in vain, You may break a window pane. This novel method's used by very few. Tramps and hobos underneath May catch it in the nose and teeth. And they may bite off more than they can chew. Mabel, Mabel, strong and able, Get your big ass off the table, Don't you know the quarter is for beer? You can always earn your pay, But make your tips another way, And I'll forgive you, darling, I love you! Ever since you met our Nelly, She's had trouble with her belly, Wish you'd never seen our little town! Ever since I met your Venus, I've had trouble with my penis, Wish I'd never seen your little town. Was it you who did the pushin', Put the stains upon the cushion, Footprints on the dashboard upside down? Was it your sly woodpecker That got into my girl Rebecca? If it was, you better leave this town. It was I who did the pushin', Put the stains upon the cushion, Footprints on the dashboard upside down. But since I got into your daughter, I've had trouble passing water, Now I guess we're even all around. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM For th historically minded, this song is based on the notices which used to be in toilets on BR trains until about 15-20 years ago. These said: Please Refrain from Flushing the Toilet The reason for this is that the toilets just chucked their contents out the bottom onto the track. Oddly enough, the notices no longer appear, despite the fact that almost all train toilets continue to work in the same way. This leaves many English railway stations as essentially open sewers where the waiting passengers stare at piles of shit and chewed up toilet paper. Not a pretty sight! :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:43 AM Okay Mr. Happy.........Try entering this phrase in the search box: train is in the station and see what you get. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:40 AM Yeah Ian, you have a good one there and thanks. There is yet another thread that I'm not going to look for that has several more verses PLUS a thread, perhaps a challenge where there were several parody versions as well. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:35 AM Thanks 'spaw Just found the DT version by putting 2753 in the search. What is in DT looks like a derivative of the rather more original version I quoted above. It actually doesn't have all the verses either. :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:33 AM s49, are you bullshitting me?- your supposed link to the song doesn'y work at all |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:32 AM Slow day in the Spaw household, then! BJ |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:30 AM catspaw49, i've checked the dt & forum again- there's no sign of this song there at all- please explain |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:28 AM Yeah, well........Here with two of the threads listed also And I don't know if your SS is working or not Mr. FDH, but try huh? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:57 AM catspaw49, i resemble those remarks- i surely checked the dt & forum search prior to posting but it didn't come up with anything. anyway u old fart- i don't need to justify what i do on here to u- don't worry b happy |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:48 AM Well, 'spaw ... if you want to know, the Supersearch isn't working for me so how could I have done that? Is it working for you, then? I see you posted the useful link to the thread. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:41 AM Just an idle thought, but did any of you bother to check the forum and the DT??? I thought not...........If you had, 1) You would not have started this thread and 2) you'd find that not only are words in the DT, but additional ones plus a discussion of the song takes place on a couple of previous threads. Mr. Happy, are you also fat and dumb, as in fat, dumb, and happy? You've been around here long enough to learn how to use the 'Cat to find things and if you haven't learned, give it a try!!!!! Enter a few words in the search box and see what pops up!! Before you start a thread you are always asked to check the forum and the DT. My best suggestion is that do just that......just an idle thought mind you....... ......geeziz.................. Spaw |
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Subject: Lyr Add: Gentlemen Should Please Refrain From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:14 AM Here's a more complete version from here among other places. Gentlemen Should Please Refrain Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station for a while. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station. Cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile. Piddling while the train is moving Is another way of proving That control of hand and eye is sure. We like to keep our toilets neat So please don't s**t upon the seat Or, what is worse, excrete upon the floor. In the carriage there's a chain And if you pull it, it stops the train There's a twenty-five pound fine if you're unwise So, ladies if you're being molested Wait until you've been divested It isn't worth five fivers other wise Gentlemen will please refrain From passing water while the train Is standing at the station in full view 'Cos railway workers (Tramps and hoboes) underneath May cop it in the eyes and teeth And they don't like it: how the hell would you (But that's what comes of being underdog.) Gentlemen please be discreet When using the toilet lift the seat The rocking motion may make you miss the pan And lady passengers following on May get it on their sit-upon 'Cos they can't stand and wee-wee like a man :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:12 AM thanks very much- i'll check out dt & web for whole thing now i know the title. cheers, mr h |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM called "Gentlement will please refrain ..." it's a rugby song. :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM A quick All The Web search on the first 7 words brought up this The train While the train is in the station Please refrain from urination Have regard for railway property If you want to pass some water Go and ask the railway-porter He will show you the lavatory While the train is stationary And you have to go quite heavy Do not drop your oiss into the train From the carriage you must wander And the penny you must squander And relief yourself with might and pain. BJ |
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Subject: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:04 AM Anybody got the words to this one? don't know the title but here's some of the words I remember: 'If you want to pass some water, kindly go & call the porter He'll place a vessel in the vestibule We encourage constipation while the train is in the station' |
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Subject: RE: ADD LYR: Humoresque From: Earl Date: 20 Jun 98 - 09:44 AM According to _The Erotic Muse_ by Ed CRay, the first verse was written by Supreme Court justice William O. Douglas and Yale law professor Thurman Arnold. They were inspired by a sign in the toilet of a train. They set it to the tune by Dvorak and immediatly taught it to all the passengers. This was, I guess, before he was on the Supreme Court. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: HUMORESQUE From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 19 Jun 98 - 05:23 PM Joe, More verses.
When you have a natural purge,
When you have to pass some water,
Nothing ever looks much better,
Some of you may be too young to realize the reason for these restrictions. Bathrooms in trains used to empty right onto the tracks. It's not too bad a technique if you are in the middle of cornfields and traveling at 30 MPH. However, it is a major problem when the train is sitting still at a heavily travelled station. |
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