BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions

Subject: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 09:02 PM

Well, danged, looks like the Good Lord has pushed me into aking a few correct decisions in my life and just today, I sold off part of my business and starting March 1st, after 30 or so years of workin' 6 days a week as a mom-and-pop (less the mom) business amn, Iz going to go to working 3 days a week! And it's purdy danged scarey...

Well, now that's only half my problem/opportunity. My wife, the P-Vine, is home lots ince she is a private music teacher and that means that we will be home at the same time, other than the Sundays that we are used to.

Yeah, I have lots or projects to do around the house and a few wrenches to turn on my beaters, but like, never been here..

Any advice?

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 09:11 PM

Stay the hell out of her way.

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: mg
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 09:14 PM

I would definitely her what she would like..ideally how much she would welcome your presence, how much she could stand and where she would start going bonkers and feeling crowded. Maybe she would like or not mind if you stayed home in the mornings and made yourself scare in afternoons or vice versa...or maybe go away a whole day somewhere..volunteering, hiking, playing music, going to the library...depends on how big the house and grounds are of course. If you had a small house and enough space, a little office, retreat out back might be nice and you wouldn't have to listen to music lessons. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 09:30 PM

*smile*...ol' Bobert has a wonderful place for hiding out when it's a good idea....

Bobert, you need to take those other 3 days and do a complete survey of trees on your property *wink*...and send me the results.

Seriously, there is NO easy answer...Rita & I have similar/overlapping hobby/business, so that is not hard for us...and there is always the computer.

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 09:32 PM

That's right. Take the trolley Bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: beadie
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 09:42 PM

First things first:    Enjoy. Relax. Smell a rose or two. Listen to the Vine with all your senses, not just your ears, she'll tell you where the boundaries are.

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 10:06 PM

Someone once said, 'I took him for better or worse- not for 24 hours a day!'

I agree. Ask her. (I would imagine that your having a schedule would be helpful, rather than wandering in and out, in and out all day long.)

I do think it's great that you're asking yourself this question. Retirement, or even just a change of lifestyle, can put a lot of pressure on a relationship.

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 10:07 PM

Here's tip......Don't get sick. Screws up lots of your plans and non-plans alike..........

Frankly Bobertz, I wish Karen and I were home togeter all the time. The best thing about night shift is that we do get to spend more time together.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 10:34 PM

Hmmmmm?

Ebbie and mary garvey are weighing down on the side of "give the girl space", Bill says that he and Rita have the pudder as a common denominator, Sinsull says to take the trolley, and Spawzer says, lean back and enjoy the time.

Hmmmmm?

This is all good advice, but still have this situation. More of me or less of me or what?

Well, you'd think I'd just know this stuff since I *know* everything else in the world (jus funnin').

(The bobert goes back to biting his fingernails and pacing the floor...)

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Tinker
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 11:11 PM

Bobert, just my two cents worth..... I would spend a minute or two just trying to play through the logistics. Imagine lessons happening and working through those projects you want to get done. Can you stay out of each others space (and ears) while you both do what you have to do?? Since your out of the house six days a week is she doing more of the day to day house type stuff??? What would she love to hand off?? What would you rather never do??

At least in the beginning I would want a few places where either one of us could escape for a stroll or a cup of coffee when the need for space raised it's head. Mostly just wing it and listen to each other. Life will be good. If you didn't like each others company I doubt we'd hear so much about her here on the 'cat....

Breathe

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Jeep man
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 11:19 PM

Build a barn. Spend most of your time in the barn with your dog.In summer or warm weather, take up fishing, hiking, hunting, or any other activity which keeps you out of the house.(Been there, done that) Jeep

Subject: RE: BS: Semi-Retirement and Women Questions
From: Mudlark
Date: 12 Feb 03 - 01:30 AM

Bobert...Best thing you can do is keep communication lines open, even when feeling kind of stiff and/or hurt and/or resentful. A room of one's own is a life-savor, not just as a place to get away, but a place to either mess up or keep tidy, as you please. John and I worked/lived together 24/7 for 30 years, were sometimes at each other's throats and in each other's hair; we were as opposite as 2 people can be. But there is nothing that can't be worked out if you are both willing to talk about what you want and need, openly and honestly, with each other.

My husband was a homebody, and I think that was the hardest thing...never having enough time...a span of time...to get things done in my own way without interference, even friendly, even HELPFUL interference. Remember that you both need outside input to keep life interesting...new stories to bring home to each other.

I'm sure you will find a rhythm that works for both of you...and then it is a great way to live. Have fun.

Nancy