BS: Want to meet someone?

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: MAG
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 12:20 AM

Women usually collect notches on the doorpost after some big kick in the teeth. The urge passes though.

For women, I think the great rites of passage might look something like (in modern times at least:

Learning to weed out the good seducers who are "merely" good in bed.

Learning to look past initial hyperbold rhetoric a guy spews thinking he means it.

Learning to recognise when guy has put zilch effort into a relationship and then says here's what's wrong with YOU ...

Learning to leave someone who is just plain boring ...

And I agree with the abovementioned one about someone who pretends to be interested in what you are just to get in. I have noticed this usually correlates with that person sabotaging same itmes in your life out of insecurity ( heaven forbid anything should be more important to you than he is!)

Of course these issues may have the genders reversed. Feel free to add any important ones you think I missed.

Oh, and I hope your friend meets lots of nice ladies. Nice guys deserve it.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 AM

Good thread....from being single I have learnt that I'm more practical than I ever thought possible. I am self sufficent and very happy with my own company but then I always was. The most important thing is to keep those high standards and if someone comes along that will be lovely and if not, thats fine too.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 08:23 AM

Little Hawk - on the lineage thing, I read an article recently that suggested that a mother will take more interest in her daughter's children than those of her son, because she KNOWS, beyond doubt, that the child is genetically related to her. The survival of the species is a very strong instinct and does seem to come down to preserving one's own genes for the future.

MAG - you must have met my ex-husband!

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 12:22 PM

The real problem with relationships is, we make them more complicated than they need to be. We play silly games, pretend we are what we are not, etc. Well, I say screw all that! As Popeye said "I yam what I yam." Almost everyone will say they want honesty, but it has been my experience that they are kidding themselves. The greatest of all virtues is straightforwardness...but, it scares the shit out of many people.
When you get to be my age, you lack the energy for games, and your true self shows all the time.
Guys, if you try to get into a relationship with sex as the goal, you are going to be found out and called a rat bastard.
Girls, when you meet a guy that grabs your attention, at the first chance find out how he feels about cats. If he hates cats, RUN like a bandit! He is a control freak, and you will regret it. Don't ask him, he will deny it. Just watch him. Also see how he treats waitresses and his mother. That's how he will treat you when his facade drops away.
If this sounds pedantic, remember, although I have been around for a long time, this is just my opinion.
Single, not really looking but available to the right "Kook"

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Geena
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 02:57 PM

God, Kendall, the lines about cats, waitresses and mothers just sent a shiver down my spine.

My man just ran over a cat and wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't kicked up a real fuss, he hates his mum and waiteresses shouldn't even exist as far as he is concerned.

Oh dear . Should I leave now ? Or wait till tomorrow morning ?

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 03:13 PM

Good advice, Kendall! Women should definitely avoid guys who hate cats. Cats instinctively avoid such guys, recognizing them immediately for the assholes they are... Also, avoid a guy who talks incessantly about his business or his work (as if it was the only subject of any importance). Living with such people is like being in hell, and it's really boring too.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Allan C.
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:30 PM

Here's a statistic I collected a few years ago: Women marrying for the second time expect far more from their new mates. Men expect less.

Ponder this for a bit and see what you think about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: bbc
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 PM

Sounds doomed to failure, doesn't it, Allan?

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,married moaner
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:56 PM

Interesting statistic there, Allan.

Has anybody noticed that women are more likely to ENJOY their freedom after a split, whereas men are more likely to jump back into a realtionship again.

It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that men have got a lot to gain in a marriage ( e.g. they get their domestic chores done for them ) and have little to lose ( it's more socially acceptable for them to have a bit on the side so they can be married and still play around. )

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:05 PM

I don't think it's necessarily because of that, although it certainly is in some cases. It may be more because of the male sex drive in other cases. One thing for sure, when I thought of women I never pictured someone who was going to do my domestic chores for me...but I was anything but traditional and was hardly thinking in any domestic terms whatsoever...

Now, in my father's case, yeah, he was definitely looking for someone to do the cooking, housecleaning, hostessing, and all that...plus a pretty face. He's traditional. He feels lost without a woman to do that stuff. I'd just as soon do it myself, but when I have a partner I like it split about 50/50.

Allan's statistic indicates that men tend to overidealize women at first. No surprise to me. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:23 PM

24 years ago, I met this nice lady whose cat jumped into my lap and settled down. She said, "that cat NEVER takes to anyone like that!"

we've been married for 23 years now....
('course, there had to be a few other things in common too, like thie music..*smile*)

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: mg
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:28 PM

I don't like cats and would strongly prefer never to have one in my house. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:01 PM

There's an insensitive, control-freak man out there for YOU, Mary... :-)

(just joking)

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:13 PM

Mistake number 1

Women marry a flawed guy kidding herself into thinking, "I can change him"

Mistake number 2

A guy marries and kids himself into thinking "She will always be young, firm and sexy".

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:32 PM

Oh! Deadly, Kendall! You are on a roll today, bruthah!

Add "with long, beautiful hair" to that...

(95% of the women over 30 in this town have haircuts that look like an ugly, short, man's haircut. Why? It's very easy to take care of, and they're lazy and can't be bothered anymore. They still discuss their ugly, friggin' haircuts with each other, though, and compare notes...and the hairdressers are happy.)

Falling in love is Nature's way of tricking people into ensuring survival of the species.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:35 PM

I never judge a woman by the lenght of her hair, but, I know many men who automatically think that a woman with short hair is a "Dyke"

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:10 PM

Well, to be fair (and I'd better be while I still have time), some women look quite good with short haircuts. It all depends on facial structure, hair, and so on. Thought I'd better say it before I get assailed from all sides for my insensitivity to devotees of abbreviated plumage.

Winona Ryder, for instance, looks great with either short or long hair...at least she used to anyway. Haven't seen Winona just lately.

This in no way excuses the mediocre ugly short women's haircut that has infested Orillia, however. It ain't style, it's sheer inertia and lack of imagination.

Speaking of hairstyles, I saw a young man yesterday who had his hair dyed in two colours, split down the middle of his head. On the right side it was jet black. On the left side it was fourescent Flash Gordon bright green, like a traffic light only an uglier shade of green. He looked "dead stupid" to me, to use a British slang term, but he no doubt thinks he looks totally cool. It's a matter of perception.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:56 PM

Fascinating thread. The ones who claim to love the single life the most, spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about relationships. HMMMM.

So does he have an older brother or not??????

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 11:10 PM

Who, the guy with the black & green hair?

And why not talk about it? Relationships are a fascinating subject. I had two that darn near put me in the funny bin for life. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:22 AM

LH - at least the two-tone guy is showing some sort of individuality! I keep my daughter shuddering by telling her that, when my (short)hair goes completely white (probably not long now!) I'm going to dye it bright purple and cut out wearing the 'purple hat' in the poem. I rather like the fact that some people, whatever their age will do something that seems totally outrageous to the rest of us. Too often the general run of things is to conform and that's the same in relationships as well. The thing that nearly sent me mad, and took my weight up to nearly 15 stone was conforming to being the housewife - got rid of the man and dropped 4 stone quite easily! I've now come round to the fact that, while I CAN do housework most times I simply DO NOT WISH to do it. In other words this cat ain't housetrained. i had to get into my fifties before I came to terms with that one.

Now, if I could find a man who IS domesticated I might give him houseroom!

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 08:36 AM

Playing with fire is also interesting.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 11:40 AM

True. I was a right pyromaniac when I was a kid, although I kept it to burning rubbish in the backyard and never caused the loss of anyone's house or barn, fortunately. Then I got interested in sex, and that was the end of my fascination with fires.

I agree that showing individuality is good, but I still don't like the look of green hair very much... :-) I have seen some stylish goth-girls in Toronto who look pretty good in their black and metallic regalia.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 12:29 PM

" I still don't like the look of green hair very much"

but if you get the right ones together, they can serve as traffic signals..

go

stop

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peg
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 12:37 PM

slightly off-topic but appropos of physical attractiveness in potential partners:

re: hair, I agree Little Hawk, some women look absolutely feminine and beautiful with short hair and it is very dependent on the shape of their face, head and their personal style...as for their sexual orientation, many lesbians wear their hair long. Kendall, not everyone is from Maine! LOL...

I was kind of forced to wear my hair short until my late teens (too unruly to deal with) and now would never cut it short again; it just doesn't look good on me. Even though my long hair is a pain in the ass sometimes, I can't imagine cutting it short. I think many women cut it short (or do so in stages, thinking they need to get it "done" every few weeks) to make things easier, and on many older women this is quite unattractive...again it completely depends on ther woman. Sometimes a short hairstyle on a less-than-ideal facial structure can be made very nice with the right clothing style    (long flowing things for movement etc.)

While we are on this subject of hairstyle and people not having a clue what looks good: what is with all these younger men shaving their heads??? I readily admit this is sexy on some guys, but most of them look like cretins this way. Please, men, stop shaving your bulbous heads!

The guy I am kinda seeing now (long distance relationship) had very long hair when I met him, cut it short before we finally got together this summer. He has really nice hair, too, thick and full (he is 47) so it's a shame he cut it. He also wears a goatee. I am wondering when this beard style will finally stop being trendy.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 02:47 PM

Peg, better re read my post. I was quite clear in what I said; I dont judge a woman by the lenght of her hair, and the men I know who DO, come from all over, not just Maine. This is not the backwater that many think it is!

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 04:39 PM

Okay, I'll buy that. Where is what you would term the "hub" of the action in Maine? I want to know in case I go there on vacation.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:02 PM

Depends on what type of action you are looking for.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:07 PM

Ah...

Okay, where are the best guitar stores? The quaintest towns? The finest scenery? The penguin rookeries?

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM

I have got to stand up for short hair. No, wait, I'll stand up for NICE hair. I don't like unattractive long hair, nor do I like unattractive short hair.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 06:21 PM

Geena, go now. pack the bags quietly and go now, leave no forwarding address. Anyone who would run over a cat for the hell of it is a monster in training.

The waitress test kendall describes is also good. I have never known anyone, male or female who treated waitresses or secretaries badly who was worth shit.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 08:58 PM

LH, the best guitar store is in Portland. The best scenery is almost anywhere along the coast east of Portland, the quaintest village is up for debate. We dont have any penguins, just Llamas.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 09:22 PM

Puffins. We have puffins. But you have missed the season.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 09:25 PM

Come in the early spring and I can introduce you to a family of bald eagles. Came within ten feet of one this year. He came within three feet of my car and deposited about ten pounds of excreta - the look on the face of the guy at the carwash was priceless. Giant chunks of half digested fish frozen to the hood and roof. And me trying to explain "A giant bald eagle crapped on my car."

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 11:06 PM

Sounds like a nice place to visit in the Spring. Seems to me I was there for a few days at a rather young age with my parents. I remember looking at 2 or 3 derelict old clipper ships (fairly big ones) sitting abandoned in a harbour. I was a big fan of clipper ships at that age, and would have dearly loved to climb aboard them, but there didn't appear to be any way handy to do so, and my parents wouldn't let me anyway...they said it was dangerous.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:36 AM

It's obvious that Noreen's off at festivals at the moment (she had Mudguard under her wing at Whitby) or she would have posted on this thread by now.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:06 AM

LH, that had to be the schooners in Wiscasset. They were run aground because they didn't pay any more. Gone now, the town had them broken up and hauled away. Lois Lyman wrote a great song about them which was recorded by Trickett Bok and Muir.
And, your parents were right, they were dangerous to walk upon.

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 07:33 AM

Would I, Dave?

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 07:38 AM

You just have !

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:49 AM

I loved those old hulks -- they were a major landmark to my youthful mind. Those and the yards at BIW.

Sorry to hear they're gone, but I guess they's have decomposed by now anyway!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:13 PM

I've been off Mudcat for a while, but now I'm back I'll own up! I'm the one Ms. Lemon started this thread off for, though I'm sure I'm not alone.

I'd just like to say that the teeth I've got are mine, cats seem to head straight for me, and I've never mistreated a waitress in my life (I wouldn't, I used to be a waiter and I know what they have to put up with). I'm single and looking, friendship or something 'else'. Oh, and I'm in love with Ms. Lemon, but she's got someone else :-)

anyone out there?

efiddler

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:17 PM

Well, and a good deal less shy than I feared, too! Good on ya!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: bbc
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:53 PM

Greeting, E!

I just checked out the Mudcat pages & didn't find photo or profile for you. I bet the ladies would love to know more about you. At the top right of the page, click the down arrow, select Member Photos & Info & click GO. Send something to Pene Azul so we can get to know you better. You sound like a nice guy!

best,

bbc (in NY)

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:54 PM

I'm always pleased to make new friends, ef, as Dave Bryant was suggesting (at least I think that was what he was suggesting...) and any friend of Sally's must be ok.

P'raps I'll bump into you at a festival somewhere?

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:22 AM

Efiddler...you have the qualities...esp the cats......good luck in your search :-)))))))))

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:47 AM

Efiddler good luck in you search for the perfect partner!

I am happily in a relationship and most people that know us will agree that we are the most unlikely couple ever and many had their doubts about us us at first! I have to say that our relationship works because we have fun together. We laugh...lots and thats important. We both love music and festivals and socializing and good food and good wine....oh and port! Our spiritual beliefs are very similar and we respect each other. I must be very lucky!

I do have long hair which gets very long at times because it grows so fast. I would hope that it looks ok the majority of the time!!....my male seems to like it!!!

Good luck! and have fun!!!

Khatt x

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: mg
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 02:33 AM

I bet y ou will meet someone very nice this way. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:46 AM

Be careful.......its a good way to make friends but I know someone who was very unlucky to meet an ace manipulator, although they didn't know it at the time as they were charm itself to begin with but on digging a bit deeper they had an obvious MO. Listen to that inner voice and be guided by it

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:13 AM

If anyone wants an unbiased opinion of me, they should talk to Ms. Lemon. She's a friend, but she's not blind to my faults, and I know she'd give a realistic picture of me. Probably truer than I'd give of myself!

Efiddler

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:42 AM

Hey BBC no photo of you either. You gonna rectify this?

Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peg
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:47 AM

Catsphiddle you have beautiful hair! Long and silky. One of your prettiest features IMHO.
Yes, you and your man ARE an unlikely couple, but if your relationship works for the two of you (and as far as I have seen, it does!), the rest of the world should not question it.
peg