BS: bad translations

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 20 Nov 09 - 09:02 PM

I generally find that interesting results occur when people drop their trousers.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Mr Happy
Date: 20 Nov 09 - 10:06 AM

Dry cleaners in Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR BEST RESULTS.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 20 Nov 09 - 03:16 AM

This one takes the (cheese)cake!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 08:29 AM

Label of eye makeup remover in Japan:
Perfect
Eye Remover


(Oh, good. Then I won't be able to see if my liner's straight anyway.)




On a decorative world globe (made in Mum Buy?):
Bay of Bengay

(One of those hotbeds of international conflict, no doubt.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Jos
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 06:19 AM

'And I have never heard an American pronounce "Jeanne" as "John."'

Maybe not, but some of them do pronounce "John" as "Jaahne".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 09:52 PM

Heck, Dave, my mom saw a supermarket sign that said: "Home grown eggs."
And that was in California! *g*

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 06:51 PM

"French: Voici l'Anglais avec son sang-froid habituel.
English: Here comes the Englishman with his habitual bloody cold."

Didn't Paddy Roberts have a song on that subject?

Sign over a Krakow hotel restaurant buffet table: Mouldy Cheese

Sign beside the A540 just ouside Chester: Free Range Eggs Turn Here

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 06:41 PM

I don't doubt that. But more often than not, I hear American's pronounce "D'Arc" as Dee-arc, "D'Angelo" as Dee-Angleo, "D'Or" as "Dee-Or," etc.
And I have never heard an American pronounce "Jeanne" as "John."

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,lighter
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 03:33 PM

"John Dark" is *exactly* the way this American would Americanize it.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 01:49 PM

It only works (perfectly, anyway) if you use a hard "J" and an English-sounding final "n." But if you really pronounced it the way most Americans would, it wouldn't sound like "John Dark." It would sound more like "Gene Dee-Ark." I think if you pronounce it the proper French way, it's pretty close. Close enough to get the pun. : )

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Jos
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 04:31 AM

The 'Jeanne d'Arc' one only works in an American accent.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 07:59 PM

Probably the same guy who translated "Jeanne d'Arc" as "The light's out in the bathroom?"


(Actually, I got that one from Mad Magazine, IIRC.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 02:07 PM

Y'all need 2 more books: Sky! My Husband! translates directly from French to English, and Fractured French is even worse, here are 2 examples that are in my family phraseology:

French: Voici l'Anglais avec son sang-froid habituel.
English: Here comes the Englishman with his habitual bloody cold.

French: J'y suis et j'y reste.
English: I'm Swiss and I'm spending the night.

And who was it translated "hors-de-combat" as "camp followers?"

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 01:32 PM

Sign on men's clothing store in Chengdu, China:
F I T S    M E N

THE CHINESE ARROGANT MEN' S CLOTHING BRAND
THE STRONG POTENTIAL MAKES


(They'd be really elegant if they weren't so snooty.)

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 06:29 PM

Sounds delicious, Jack!


More bad translations from other languages:

Sign for charcoal packages in Sagano, Japan:
"A bamboo is burned and bamboo charcoal is being made charcoal.
When this charcoal is put in water a minus ion accruses, and becomes the water which is good for the body.
Besides, I can have it use a deodorant."



(Maybe if the accursed bamboo had used that deodorant you wouldn't have had to burn the poor thing?)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Jack Campin
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 08:33 AM

English to English, with a bit of help from the Microsoft spell checker:

Urine Pudding
Explanation and recipe

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 03:23 PM

On the menu of a Seoul, S. Korea, restaurant:
Lacquer poison chicken broth with ginseng


(Well, as long as it's got GINSENG too … )





Label under picture of a dish on menu in Beijing, China:

Private bench legs


(Super high in fiber, no doubt.)




On menu in Japan:
French Flies
Sausages with French Flies
Peanut
Small Salad


(Only one peanut? Guess they figure those flies are very filling.)




Restaurant sign in China:
New style muslin main curses

(Especially if the food's too hot?)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 12:21 AM

You mean like when you knocked up all those women in the morning at the 2008 Getaway, Terry? ; D

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Leadfingers
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 09:31 PM

100

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Leadfingers
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 09:30 PM

And of course there are things with TOTALLY different meanings in British English and American English !

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 09:14 PM

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

(Now, where are we supposed to go for that good time sans clothing? Oh, wait ... it's Rome!!)




Sign on Korean-owned laundry in Saipan:
DROP OFF YOUR LAUNDRY AND GET IT ON


(Probably run by the same guys who own that laundromat in Rome.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 05:52 PM

On package label found in a ToysRUs in Japan:

Kigurumix are very cute dancers. Please watch their dance when you are depressed or hard. You will surely very happy feeling!

(I think toys like this were just banned in the state of Arkansas.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 05:12 PM

T-shirt seen in Okinawa:
CHOCO Lab.
PERSON'S SPORTS
What I like recently is to take a walk in the seaside. It is good at playing with the frying disk!

(Just, please, don't ask your doggie to catch one of those skillets when you throw it!)

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:29 PM

Oops! That last post should have been like this:

Sign in Chinese hotel for happy hour:
" ... Delicious snakes are served for free. ...


(If you're not a reptile, you have to pay?)




Then there's this sign on department store in Hiroshima, Japan:

SALE -
Summer
Barge in

(Uh-oh.   I see one of those after-Christmas sale type stampedes in the making!)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,Arthur Stiffy
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:00 PM

Photographic evidence:

Do this grim looking mob look like they have a subversive sense of humour ?

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/5bd1k_3IAoZzW3lhNTsJjw?feat=embedwebsite

.. maybe if you can transcribe from the original Japanese...?


my hunch is "Winbreakers" may be referencing some Japanese myth or spirit,
and by extension a possible pun regarding the brass section of the band...

All very innocuous in Japanese,
but lethal in the hands of a mischeivous international record label translator.

ps.. for extra value puerile mirth..
track 2 is "What Is This Thing Called Love"

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 01:01 PM

Sign in Chinese hotel for happy url="http://"hour%20-%20<a%20href="http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Delicious-Snakes.jpg""%20target="_blank">" ... Delicious snakes are served for free. ... "/a


(If you're not a reptile, you have to pay?)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 12:59 PM

Well, Uncle David, that's what I meant by "wind-breakers" maybe being a double entendre." Except that I guess it's really a triple entendre.    Whether intentional or not, I find it pretty funny (though probably not really a mis-translation).

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 11:52 AM

Jos,

LOL!!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Jos
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 11:11 AM

Then rinse out the teapot and stand upside down in the sink.

(Sorry - couldn't resist.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 10:55 AM

Not a translation, I know - more of an interpretation,

Notice in office kitchen

'Do not pour tea leaves down the sink, as they block the drains.

Please adhere to this notice'!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 10:35 AM

"Watch carefully your step."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Acorn4
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 10:30 AM

A School I once worked at used to produce a daily set of notices and one day there was a notice supposed to read:-

"A nice old lady in the village would like some help with her garden."

It read:-

"A nice old lay in the village would like some help with her garden."

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 10:13 AM

Genie, maybe the reference of "Windbreakers" is to the light, wind-tight sports jacket of that name.

Another possibility is a reference to the bicyclist who takes his turn at the front of the pack, so others can draft.

Neither of which is as funny as what we all thought.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 11:38 PM

From Tokyo, Japan (apparently a smoking section sign):

So that smoke should not go outside
It smokes in the obituary of the area.
Please continue your favors toward cooperation.


(Hey, we knew smoking was hazardous to our health, but … )

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,Arthur Stiffy
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 10:31 PM

"Norio Maeda was born in Osaka, Japan, in 1934. Highly esteemed not only as a pianist but also as a brilliant arranger.
He was garnered the "Award for Best Arrangement" at The Tokyo Music Festival in 1981, the "Award for Best Arrangement" at The Japan Record Awards in 1983, and "Fumio Nanri Awards", the highest award in the world of Jazz hosted by Swing Journal Magazines.
..he formed "The Windbreakers" with greatest pianists in Japan, and "Triple Piano" with Masahiko Sato and Kentaro Haneda in 1988.He is an acclaimed pianist as well as composer/arranger, a representative figure of Japan, widely accepted from all quarters. He celebrates his 24th anniversary for his own group, "The Windbreakers"

.. well no accounting for Japanese sense of humour,
But Mr Maeda would seem to be a serious musician of some cultural significance..

Hmm.. from a Western point of equivalence..

Stan Kenton and Arsequakes
Buddy Rich and the Trouser Blasts
Count Basie and the Bottom Burps..

dunno.. somehow I'd suspect bad translation over intentional smutty muso in-joke.. ?

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Genie
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 09:54 PM

Is that a bad translation or a deliberate double entendre? *g*

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,Arthur Stiffy
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 08:25 PM

1980's Japanese jazz band

"Norio Maeda & Wind-Breakers"

Subject: Badly translated & misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 01:49 PM

More strangeness from the restaurant world:

From a menu in Jodhpur, India:
DESSERTS:
Banana Pancake
Honey Pancake
Lemon Sugar Pancake
Chocolate Pancake
Banana Custard
Rice Pooping

(Made with brown rice, no doubt.)



From a coffee house menu in Kyoto, Japan:
Rough Influence Sausage
and
It is "waffle" revokable. the toast.

(Well, I get the sausage. "Influence" may be the threat of turning you into one?
But I don't know if I even want to think about what "revoking" the waffle to make toast might mean.)

Subject: badly Translated and misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 02:05 AM

Sign on ticket machine for gondola ride in Hakone, Japan:
GETTING OFF IS POSSIBLE ON THE WAY

(We'll take 10 tickets, please.)

Subject: badly Translated and misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Oct 09 - 09:41 PM

Tug, the King James is full of unfortunate translations like that. Those are two prime examples (albeit not very funny).


Here are a few more translation-typos that'll make Mr. Happy's ribs ache:

Sign on seafood display case in Korean grocery store in US:
CLEAN BLUE CRAP $3.49/LB

(Oh, well, if it's clean and BLUE, it's probably worth the price.)



This sign was up in Duluth, GA for about a week before being it was replaced:
SAM'S CRAP HOUSE

(They get their seafood from that Korean grocery store, no doubt?)



Sign on restaurant in Guangdong Province, China:
MAIN HALL OF SEAFOOL RESTAURANT

(Best place to serve that clean, blue crap, probably.)




From a restaurant menu in Osaka, Japan:

SALAD & SOAP

(Hey, we're SERIOUS about preventing e coli and salmonella here! Especially after preparing that clean, blue crap.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Oct 09 - 10:34 AM

Stoppit, yer makin' me ribs ache!! 8-)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Tug the Cox
Date: 11 Oct 09 - 07:38 AM

Two really bad translations that have led to suffering for hundreds of years

Greek 'Harmartia' a term derived from archery. To miss the mark, translated in the King James Bible as 'Sin'.   Of course we all miss the mark, to say that we are all sinners has far more baleful connotations.

Greek. Metanoia....to see as new, to have clearer view ( so that it is easier to hit the mark) again, in KJB, translated as 'repentance'. So instead of acquiring wisdom ( clearer sight) he have donned sackcloth and ashes, or worse.
Unspeakable.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 10:26 PM

Have tennis fans among you, watching the French Open, ever noticed the French for Women's Singles?:·

SIMPLE DAMES

:~)

Subject: badly Translated and misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 07:43 PM

DRASTIC THE BAGGAGE

Label on a child's toy package in Shanghai:
SKIPPING RAPE.


(Good advice. I usually do.)



Product Made In China:
MANICURE SET

(Glad they didn't call it a Do-It-Yourself Surgery Kit.)



On a cap and hat vendor's kiosk in Chaing Mai Thailand "Big C" Superstore.
NEW CAP & HEAD

(For when you've got a really nasty hangover!)

Subject: badly Translated and misspelled Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 07:30 PM

Some of these mistranslations are obvious spelling errors but just as funny.



Found in Tokyo:

THIS RESTROOM IS FOR MEN ONLY. THERE IS THE WOMENS IN THE LEFT DEPTHS. PLEASE USE IT.

(I.e., for the ladies "There Is A Bathroom On The Left -- In the cellar.)


Toothpaste ad from China:

WHITENING CLEARING HEAT
ANTI MOTH TOOTHPASTE

(For bikers after those thrilling bugs-in-your-teeth road trips.)



From Kyoto, Japan:
RELOCATION BRAIN SYSTEM.

(Come here, Igor. I need you in the lab.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 10:55 AM

At an Italian motorway service area, we were once enjoined by a notice to "Avoid abusive retailers." Would it have been OK if it had been a wholesaler who denounced us as a Busful·of·Brit·Boobies? (In fact, of course, "abusivi" for "unauthorised" makes perfectly good sense - in Italian.)

Subject: Badly Translated Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 09:45 AM

In a Roman doctor's office:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES

(Obviously a carryover from the early patriarchal days of medicine.)




Sign on "Mama's Boy" restaurant in Japan -    "In a shop based on white, the space of healing spreads out. ... Because I thoroughly can enjoy the taste of the mom slowly in that, both the heart and the stomach are satisfied. Welcome."

(Well, we all used to enjoy the taste of the mom, but, Freud notwithstanding, some of us grew up.)

Subject: Badly Translated Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 09:27 AM

A few more wonderful examples that can result from "literal" word-for-word translation.
(Commentary mine):


In a Tokyo hotel:

IS FORBITTEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT THE PERSON TO DO SUCH THINGS PLEASE DO NOT READ NOTICE.

(If you already read it, you're obviously that kind of person and should be ashamed of yourself.)




In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME, WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE..

(Please stay in your room until you think you're ready to act like a civilized adult.)








In a Japanese hotel:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

(Please to tip her extra generously, as this not included in hotel bill.)




In a Yugoslavian hotel:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

(If you've been pleasured by the chambermaid, your shorts probably need flattening.)







In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

TO MOVE THE CABIN, PUSH BUTTON FOR WISHING FLOOR. IF THE CABIN SHOULD ENTER MORE PERSONS, EACH ONE SHOULD PRESS A NUMBER OF WISHING FLOOR. DRIVING IS THEN GOING ALPHABETICALLY BY NATIONAL ORDER.


(Guests from Yemen or Zimbabwe may prefer to take stairs when hotel is full.)





In a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.


(Dead ones, mostly - plus the odd political dissident. But we take Thursday off from burying them. )

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Monique
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 08:12 AM

Guest, I suggest you read Mudcat Guest Posting Policy thread and pick a consistent name or your posts might be deleted.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Monique
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 07:50 AM

Sp."Caracoles de mar" = Cat. "Cargols de mar" = Fr. "Escargots de mer", lit. "sea snails" = murex but they usually look like that

Btw, "skipped shrimps" meant "sauteed shrimps"