BS: bad translations

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Paul Burke
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 05:29 AM

Not a mistranslation really, but an Indian restaurant menu once offered me "Bindy Ghost".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Monique
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 04:00 AM

There's a book called L'anglais, it is not the joy with lots of bad translations (if someone wants to buy it, I recommend Amazon.fr -€6.50= CND$10- against Amazon.ca -CDN$64 -not available on the other Amazon sites. The author is a French teacher of English and she gathered them all in her students' works -or so she says.
I once went to Gerona (Catalonia, Spain) and the menu was full of these, whether in English or French and you had to translate back into Spanish or Catalan word by word to find what it was about. I just remember "skipped shrimps".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: HuwG
Date: 10 Oct 09 - 03:56 AM

I have worked on a number of computer projects where the language tables for the core product was professionally translated but the unfortunate developers had to provide the translations for new features themselves.

I don't know what the marketing people who boasted of their command of foreign languages were doing, but it was certain they never dared handle translation tables.

I contrived to tell users of an ATM that "Your card has breathed out". Well, the dictionary gave that word for "expired".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 09:21 PM

Anyone recall a rather charming French film of the mid-40s called Edouard Et Caroline? They quarrel, of course. At one point, the phone rings, & Caroline, erroneously thinking it's Edouard calling, picks it up & yells "Merde merde merde merde merde!", thoughtfully rendered by the subtitler as "Blank blank blank blank blank!" Later on, she meets the man who was actually calling: "Tu m'as dit 'merde!'" he tells her: subtitled as "You spoke to me in 'blank' verse'!"

Ah, for such innocent days back again! Not!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 05:26 PM

I loved the Carson comedy sketch of President Reagan being briefed on his meeting with Chairman Hoo. It turned into a whos on first classic.

A far fetched sketch of Schwartzenegger as president being translated so badly that a nuclear war was in the balance.

There are many forms whose cheif job is to avoid the unfortunate cognates in a foreign language.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 04:11 PM

I am reading Love In The Time Of Cholera. Most of it is beautifully translated but too often him/her and he/she get mixed up making a total mess of the dialog. Very frustrating.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Gurney
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 03:42 PM

I was just watching the DVD 'The Buena Vista Social Club.' I loved the passionate music, but I felt there was something lost in the translations to English. Or perhaps you CAN"T translate it with the appropriate animation.
Examples.
"I'm just going down to the port to unload my truck, and then I'm finished for the week."
"(Somebody) went to bed and left the candle burning. The bedroom is on fire! Call the fire brigade!"

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 12:01 PM

Yes, I knew that - tho I think at certain periods it could begin a word, tho could never come at end.

Yes, Mr Happy, the 'h' was given a sort of curlicue to its right hand tail which made it look like a script 'k': have searched my Character Palette without finding precise analogue; but think the l.c, 'h' on the Jokerman or AppleChancery typefaces might not be a million miles from it.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 09:59 AM

MtheGM, the problem there was a misunderstanding of that letter form. It's called "the medial S", because it's to be used only in the middle of a word.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 09:05 AM

Was there an archaic letter 'h' which resembled a modern letter 'k'?

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 01:36 AM

Not exactly a translation: but a similar sort of misapprehension. My mother-in-law's village church had been decorated at the height of the Arts&Crafts revival, with fancy archaic-style lettering, including the long-s [ſ], for the Biblical slogans: which caused both my wife and me to read their version of "For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven" as "For of fuck is the Kingdom of Heaven" — a sentiment we would have been happy to endorse. (We did not mention this to her mother, who would not have been amused.)

Subject: RE: BS: Badly Translated Business Signs
From: Genie
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 10:46 PM

Restaurant sign in Shanghai, China - Smart Noshery Makes You Slobber

(Specialty of the house is pablum perhaps?)




I especially like this sign from China - NOKIA: CONNOCTING POOPIE

(Sure, people may talk trash on their cell phones, but "poopie" is a bit harsh.)


and you've gotta see the sign on this recycling machine in Seoul, S. Korea:
CANS / BOTTLES / P E T S


("Recycling" program run by the restaurant next door, no doubt.)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 09:26 PM

"jam and eggs", I saw on a breakfast menu in Caracus

Subject: bloopers & bad translations of business signs
From: Genie
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:52 PM

From a Singapore construction zone sign:
ERECTION IN PROGRESS

(One o' Bobert's floozettes walking by, no doubt.)



From another construction site in Singapore:
ANGER: KEEP OUT


(She ignored their wolf whistles, maybe?)

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: izzy
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 09:27 PM

We have a bottle of Bordeaux on the table on the back of which it says "This wine has a delightful warm fruity nose".

I don't know about you but that reminds me of a dog...

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: robomatic
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 02:11 PM

When I was at school in California, the toilet lids were labeled with the name of the dormitary in which they were initially installed: "Devoro". My friend Marta thought it was hilarious because it was Spanish for "I devour".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Allan C.
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:07 AM

Sunga, you can have the same fun with the Translate function you'll find available at the foot of each post here. Some time back we had a lot of fun translating and retranslating some common songs. Maybe someone can link the thread. I can't find it.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 09:50 AM

I decided to copy something from the "Eh Up" thread, and translate it from "English" to French, then back again, and this is what I got:


Noow then `owd Muppit me lad. Grand t see thee abowt. Geeetins from` East Raaadin uv Gods awn Coonty. Thas nowt wron wi Bratfud al av thee nar! Wen thas a part `t graatest cownti in all a`tEngland, tha`s ar` rayt wi mee! Now sithi al the Shufildrs an Barslyeytes. Dont thi gun gittin thi sens upset. Wi love thee us well even if the ant got thi own Raadin! :-)

Owd Muppit de ` de Noow puis je jeune homme. T grand voient l'abowt de thee. Les dieux UV est de Raaadin de from` de Geeetins ébarbent Coonty. Thee de poids du commerce d'Al de Bratfud de wi de wron de nowt de Thas nar ! Thas de Wen un cownti graatest du ` t de pièce dans tout l'a`tEngland, mee de wi de rayt d'ar` de tha`s ! Maintenant Al de sithi le Shufildrs un Barslyeytes. Les sens de thi de gittin de pistolet de thi ne dérangent pas. Le thee d'amour de Wi nous bien même si la fourmi obtenait le thi possèdent Raadin ! : -)

Owd Muppit of ` of Noow then I young man. T large sees the abowt thee. Gods UV is of Raaadin of from` of Geeetins trim Coonty. Thee of weight of the Al trade of Bratfud of wi of wron of nowt of Thas nar! Thas de Wen a cownti graatest of the ` T of part in all the a`tEngland, mee of wi of rayt of ar` of tha`s! Now Al of sithi Shufildrs Barslyeytes. The directions the thi one of gittin of gun the thi one do not disturb. The thee of love of Wi us well even if the ant obtained the thi one have Raadin! : -)


Well it wasn't all that easy to follow in the first place, but now? How did they get "do not disturb"?

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Sunga
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 05:32 PM

You can have great fun at this
online translator by translating sentences or paragraphs from English in to another language and then back to English.

For example, I just did this with the sentence:
"Who's to say who's right or wrong?"
and ended up with:
"Who has for saying who has right or forgery?"

I'd imagine you could keep going back & forth until there was almost no resemblence at all to the original - rather like the old game of telephone.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 02:36 PM

Actually, dianavan, there are a few things he does better than I do!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Joe_F
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 05:09 PM

An old story has it that a telegram "Your son suspended for minor offenses" was translated from English to Russian, then retranslated to English, and was received by the parents as "Your son hanged for juvenile crimes".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: dianavan
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:42 PM

Melani - I hope you asked for that sentence to be corrected.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Melani
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:36 PM

In my developmentally disabled son's IEP (written by a native English speaker): "It is important to note that the teacher believes Daniel has the same skills as his mother."

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: SueB
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 06:59 PM

Thanks for the tip, Firecat - my children are always on the lookout for new anime - we'll be looking for Ah! My Goddess!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,Chanteyranger
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 04:39 PM

In a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

In a Chinese restaurant menu in Berkeley, California: "Sweat Breads" (sweet breads).

Going around the 'net some time ago was this, from a sign in a Swedish shop: "Ears pierced while you wait."

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:23 PM

Lofty teeth? I know a girl who had 'em when I was a young man -- made kissing interesting...

A

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: dianavan
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:21 PM

Lofty teeth??????? Maybe the upper set.

I remember Yoko saying that as a child, she was instructed not to "smile like a shopkeeper" because it was undignified. Is it still considered slightly "common" to show your teeth?

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Firecat
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:15 PM

Another anime, called "Ah! My Goddess!" that my best mates Becky and Stacey introduced me to, has the following lyrics as part of the theme song "Even though I give you a puzzle, you cannot work it out becase you are slow", "Cover me gently with your shirt", "I pinch your arm, can you tell how I feel?", and "Though the bride is happy, you yawn hugely"!

I also like the instructions on a Korean kitchen knife "Keep out of children"

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: SueB
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:51 PM

Wolf Rains, a Japanese anime DVD with English subtitles, contains phrase "lofty teeth". What are lofty teeth? We have never been able to discover.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,apricot
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:06 PM

Try this site too loaded with really funny stuff.
www.seoulsearching.com/language/mistranslations.html

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Arnie
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 04:25 PM

I always smiled when passing the Bradford curry house that catered for Weeding parties. Bring your own trowel??

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: darkriver
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 04:12 AM

whoops, sorry. The link I just posted doesn't work, but this one does:
Engrish.com

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: darkriver
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 03:35 AM

You folks might like this site, which deals a lot with the phenomenon of the Japanese use of English for commercial purposes (signs, ads, etc.). Some hair-raising examples there, with plenty of photos. For example, a sign in Japanese and English:

NOTICE OF TAKE STAIRCASE

• Fasten armrest by order, please don't ambulate in staircase.
  
• Children and old folks take staircase ought to accompany by keeper.
  
• Please don't resort and diaport at passageway.
  
• Strictly prohibit bestride the armrest.
  
• Bicycle don't take the staircase.
  
• Don't protrude the tartness and keenness out the staircase.
  

regards, doug aka darkriver

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:56 AM

Mitsubishi doesn't sell their Pajero SUV under the same name in Spain, as they do in the rest of Europe, because in vernacular Spanish "pajero", or something that is pronounced similarly, not sure, can mean something like, ahem, "wanker".

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: mike the knife
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM

Babelfish is the source for some spectacularly bad translations.
When I was living in Germany I made a few bad mistakes:
- Once told my girlfriend's mother I was preparing a vegetable Enema(Einlauf) when I meant to say Cassarole (Auflauf).
- Same girlfriend- told her & her friends that the cheese I had brought to the party was purchased from a crazy person (Irrer) with an erection (Stander) on the market, rather than from an Irishman (Irer) with a Stand (Stand) on the market.
A good laugh at my expense...

Here's a good link (or two) for English/German wordplay: http://www.chronik.ch/sprulex.shtml
http://www.susanne-und-dirk.de/runaways.html
http://www.frigger.de/engl.htm

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 10:17 AM

The "Japanese" haikus above are delightful, but I'm extremely doubtful that they're actual Japanese real-world error messages. For one thing, in Japanese the syllable count would be off from haiku specs. In other words, they are haikus only in English.

Sorry to be a wet blanket.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 04:20 AM

I heard that the Phrase "The Flesh is willing but the Spirit is weak", when translated by a software program into Russian, then back in to English, reads:
"The meat is rotten but the vodka is diluted"
Great fun, this thread!
Dáithí

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Gurney
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 02:21 AM

Not sure now where I read it, but it seems that if you translate the english phrase 'Out of sight, out of mind' into Russian, it comes out as 'Invisible lunatic.'

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Blackcatter
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 01:48 AM

Michael - remember, if Microsoft is using haiku, Apple HAS to be different!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: michaelr
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 01:40 AM

Scansion, Amos, scansion!!

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 01:21 AM

Too late, it seems
Macintosh users
Were right all along

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: michaelr
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 01:04 AM

My cookie had gone.
Then I re-registered, and
Again all is well.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 12:56 AM

Ooh, bad curry tonight, jOhn?

Blackcatter -- you may enjoy these (not sure where they're from):

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction
rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first line, 7
in the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless
message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through
extreme brevity.

Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan.
------------------------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
---------------------------------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
---------------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
---------------------------------------------------

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
---------------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But ! we never will.
------------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
---------------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 12:14 AM

any way= Malcom is the spanish word for shit, not sure who posted itm but might have been wolfgang or mudgaued, not sure really, sk Malcum Douglas, he will know.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM

heloo., i think fiat panda means shit in mexican, but i'm not sure really.john

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: LadyJean
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 11:54 PM

I had a French teacher in high school who had a master's degree from the Sorbonne. She told us about the time she went into a Parisian butcher's and asked for Chicken cleavage.
My sister spent a month in Spain asking waiters for the hillside, La Quenta instead of La Questa, the bill. Eventually a waiter set them straight. She and her friend laughed. All the other customers in the restaurant wanted to know what the Americans were laughing at. The waiter told them. They then heard laughter coming from the kitchen, and as they left the restaurant, a small group followed them, chanting La Questa La Questa La Questa.

I bought my sister a Squirting Spouting Dolphin, mostly because of the directions on the back, that included such gems as, "After Playing the Dolphin the batteries must be removed out." I thought the directions would amuse our blind cousin. I didn't think he'd try to feel the dolphin as it was doing laps in a dishpan, or that it would shoot a jet of water right in his face when he did. But it certainly did enliven Christmas.
Does anyone know where I can get another Squirting Spouting Dolphin? Several friends are looking for them.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Blackcatter
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 08:48 PM

Yeah, but who the hell orders Peaches and cream the way he wanted it?

------------

My Cannon printer give a low-ink waring like this:

"Although printing is in progress, a low ink warning occurs."

Not particularly funny or bad, but just an odd sentence structure from a company that's been invested in the U.S. market for many, many years. I love it everytime I see it. It's almost haiku-like.

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 08:08 PM

On the other hand, it is classic that educated foreign persons who learn English may be much more precise in their use of their new tongue.

The dapper Frenchman sat down in the restaurant, and indicated, as part of his order, that he desired "peaches and cream".

When he was served, lo and behold, the beautiful fresh peaches had been sliced into a bowl and nice fresh cream poured over.

He complained: "I asked for peaches and cream. You have brought me peaches with cream!"

Quoth the waitress, "That's the same thing, isn't it?"

"Ah, no! Mademoiselle, would you say that a woman and child is the same thing as a woman with child?"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Johnny in OKC
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 08:02 PM

Ancient story probably told by Mark Twain:

Seated next to an oriental gentleman at a formal dinner,
the American attempted to make conversation.

"You like-ee soup-ee?" he inquired.
The oriental nodded pleasantly.

"You like-ee salad-ee?"
Again a nod.

"You like-ee beef-ee?"
Nodding again.

At that point, the host rose to introduce the evening's
guest speaker, Mr. Yung Chee Loo. The oriental man spoke
for half an hour on economics, in perfect, beautiful English.

Returning to his seat, he asked the American,
"You like-ee speech-ee?"


Love, Johnny in OKC

Subject: RE: BS: bad translations
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 07:11 PM

The Grandaddy of them all was in China where Coca Cola phonetically means "bite the wax tadpole"

The phonetic name has been changed.