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BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring...
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Subject: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 12 May 04 - 10:40 PM Yup, I know it is hard to believe that our very own Rapaire would consider running for president but when he heard that Ralph Nadar was getting the endorsement of the Reform Party he looked around the Catbox and said to himself, "Shoot, there more folks here than in the Reform Party" and figgured, "What the heck?"... So he's runnin' and Iz volunteered to run the campaign... Now here's where I gotta regress a little. Iz been a Washington Bullets (Wizzards, ha..) fan for since they moved to DC from Baltimore and they have stunk fir 3 decades... So I rwote the Bullets owner, Abe Pollin, and told him that the best thing he could do is fire everyone and then quit... Well, fastforward to the 2004 election and the Rap-man only has one plank in his platform and that is to "quit"! Yup, when elected, President Rap will do the 90 days reguired to get dental added to his hospitalization plan and quit... Nopw, this ain't about the economy stupid, 'er Iraq stupid but integrity... "If elected, I'll quit" Now, sniff, that's what America is about! Sniff... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amergin Date: 12 May 04 - 10:58 PM Well he's got my vote...the thing is...when he quits...who takes his place??? I don't want DougR to be his running mate... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amergin Date: 12 May 04 - 11:00 PM I forgot to say...that it's nothing personal against Doug...it's just politics... excuse me while I open my fat mouth...i need to change my socks.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 12 May 04 - 11:05 PM Bobert? He's from around there, and hasn't suffered enough. Amos? To bring in the wierd voters from So. California? Khandu? Tweed? SRS? Bee-Dubya-Ell? Seamus? Spaw? Sorcha? No! I've got it! Someone who not only hasn't suffered enough, but understands control! My running mate will be...whether he accepts or not... Joe Offer! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 12 May 04 - 11:08 PM Hey, Joe works fir me just so long as he also pledges toquit sonn as the dental plan kicks in... But count be out... Too busy to quit right now... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amergin Date: 12 May 04 - 11:10 PM ok....if rap quits...and offer quits....who becomes prez then????? who will run for speaker of the house??? how about this? rap promises to disband all washington government....and gets rid of everyone for pure incompetence? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: artbrooks Date: 12 May 04 - 11:11 PM Kin I be secatery a defence? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 12 May 04 - 11:12 PM No, on second thought (us candy dates get to change our minds), Joe ain't it. Sorry, Joe. But wait...you're still in it. My running mate will be...The Mudcat Cafe! Yes! The first non-corporeal VP! In this, the electronic age, why not? In computer time, it's fully old enough. And it's born in US of A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amergin Date: 12 May 04 - 11:14 PM sounds good to me...that way we can have some intelligent foreign influence in government policy.... maybe the cafe can go on a conquest? and take over the whole world! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 12 May 04 - 11:31 PM Ahhhhh, yo Rap.... Shishhhh.... Ahhhh, you know that DonM, Teribus and DoudR is part o' this joint??? Like you want these knotheads to take over??? Shisshhhh. Here they come... Yo, Doug, me and mah man the Rapster is gonna quit after gettin elected and we're turning the country over to the Catbox to be run... Now don't go gettin a big head 'er writtin no acceptance speeches since you are just a minority here and will be so until it is our turns, after the dental kicks in, to quit.... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: beardedbruce Date: 12 May 04 - 11:34 PM according to the principles of affirmative action, IF we are a minority, than we should get to be in charge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: dianavan Date: 13 May 04 - 12:18 AM Bobert - you gotta watch yer behind. beardedbruce thinks affirmative action is about minority rule. I say let him in and put him in charge of the sewage plant. Bush can be his boss. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: beardedbruce Date: 13 May 04 - 12:21 AM No, affirmative action is about causing future inequities to correct past ones. But, please not the IF- I do not believe that either the liberals or conservatives can claim to be a majority. In fact, I am a member of the Radical Middle. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: beardedbruce Date: 13 May 04 - 12:36 AM ...note... And you think that being in charge of the sewage plant is a bad or demeaning thing? You have some predjudice against the people who maintain the basic structure of the society that you live in? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: dianavan Date: 13 May 04 - 03:22 AM No. I just think that some people are better at stirring shit than others. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: beardedbruce Date: 13 May 04 - 03:44 AM very witty |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: artbrooks Date: 13 May 04 - 08:32 AM Howsabout Secatery of Helth, eddication an Welfair? I'se perty helthi, reel eddicated, and kin think of a buncha peeple in Washington on the Patomik who otta be on welfair. Mebbe Bobert otta be secatery of Peas? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 13 May 04 - 09:01 AM I'm in favor of it, and in the interests of better International Relations, I'm also in favour of it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 13 May 04 - 09:31 AM How's about if we combine the posts of Sec. of Education and Sec. of Defense and get a Sec. of Educated Defense (or Sec. of Defensive Education -- I'm not picky)? Also Sec. of the Treasury and Sec. of Health and Human Services, and call it Sec. of a Healthy Treasury? Reinstating the U.S. Lifesaving Service, but instead of watching for shipwrecks they'll insure that beer and clean porta-potties are readily available at folk festivals, ren faires, etc. (they can take over Homeland Security, too)? See, I'm asking my running mate about these things. I'm not going to make Momentous Decisions myself, 'cause I plan to quit as soon as I'm vested in the dental and retirement stuff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Peace Date: 13 May 04 - 07:44 PM Ya know, if the Rapper did run, and I could vote in US elections, I'd vote for him. He's got more brains and clear thinking on a bad day that most of Washington on a good. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amos Date: 13 May 04 - 08:16 PM Yeah but he'd be so busy looking stuff up. And he'd want to take all the cruise-missile money and give it to the Library of Congress, and THEN where would we be??? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: GUEST,Cookieless Candy Date Date: 13 May 04 - 09:42 PM That ain't sayin' much, brucie. But thanks. I think. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 13 May 04 - 10:26 PM Ahhh, readin' somethin' other than the sports page, Amos... Jus' funnin' wid ya... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: dianavan Date: 14 May 04 - 02:47 AM I think there may have been a misunderstanding. bobert, I know you are the current man in the oval. Are you suggesting Rapaire take over your seat? I, however, am running for the World. Capital in Cascadia. I'm not sure but I do believe you agreed to serve as an aide in my version of a new world order. We will, however, demand Northern California, Oregon, Washington, parts of Idaho, Alaska and the San Juans. That territory will combine with British Columbia and parts of Alberta and some of Saskatchewan. Haida Gwai may wish to join the new Cascadia (it hasn't been discussed). Of course, the Pacific Rim will become our trading partners. All countries bordering the Pacific Ocean, including our chief partners, Mexico, Australia, Japan and China. If you are in conflict of interest, please declare this fact immediately. I have been away to a hot spot but a number of nominations and volunteers have been pouring forth. A list of names and positions will be forthcoming. I would like to remind you that there is no need for a secretary of defense because everyone will want to be our friend. Your Benevolent Autocrat A woman who can pee over the side of a boat. P.S. brucie, since you agreed to also be my campaign manager, could you also be executive secretary for a moment and provide a link? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: dianavan Date: 14 May 04 - 03:08 AM bobert, it looks like you've retained the oval office. No matter how hard you try to get rid of it, its yours. Now co-operate, please. Do you think we could put Martin in charge of the basement? His profanity could be used to scare away the rats. I think beardedbruce might agree to work in the sanitation facility. I really want donuel to be the political cartoonist for our propaganda machine. How about El Greko for minister of culture. Do you think it would be a good idea to be bilingual? I was thinking of English and Esperanza. Rapaire - after you quit, will you please call Cascadia your home and agree to run for the minister of leisure? waddya think, brucie? Please do not make Don M, Teribus and DougR. ambassadors to the World. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Hrothgar Date: 14 May 04 - 05:43 AM If he's in Iraq, it could still be on his head when he throws it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 14 May 04 - 09:05 AM Good Lord, I'm in "parts of Idaho"! She's declaring war on me! I don't even have a country yet! Just those drunken lay-abouts in the Idaho Legion, and being mercenaries they work for the side with the biggest barrels (of beer -- they're all pacifists unless attacked, and then better'n half of them run away and the rest surrender). An unprovoked, unwarranted, invasion! I'm calling the UN. The Black Helicopters of the NWO, the Illuminati, and the Freemasons will soon be hovering over Cascadia, scaring the paranoids and children. (Please don't confuse them with pinatas.) I hate to do it, but I really have no other choice. Except...well, if this fails, I'm a paid-up member of the American Library Association! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: GUEST,George W. Bush Date: 14 May 04 - 09:19 PM Who? Idaho? Cascara? In Idaho? That's in Canada, one of the terrorist states. We'll stay the course until the nukler weapons of mass destruction the hosers are hiding are found. We have absolute proof from CIA photos that Osama bin Laden is hiding in the Frank Church Wilderness Area, because Frank Church was a Liberal Democrat. Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld assures me that Rapaire isn't a terrorist, so Americans can sleep secure tonight knowing that the terrorists in Idaho will be dealt with. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 14 May 04 - 10:48 PM Well, gol danged... I jus lookes at the map and Wes Ginny ain't in the Pacific northweat?.... Hmmmm? We're gonna have to redraw this thing so (I ain't gonna have to move...I got way too much stuff here... Hey, dianavan, what's wrong with Rap? He don't drewl 'er nuthin... He's a right respectable guy. Hey, he ain' the kinda o' guy who's gonna legalize pot in the first day of being innagurated... Maybe a week 'er two... Hey, I don't want the job. It sucks... But, Rap, he don't know it sucks so, hey, what the hey??? That's what I say. Whad I say Said what the hey said what the hey That what I say... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 15 May 04 - 08:31 AM I ran all the campaign slogans of all the winning candidates throughout history (well, US history) through the Osbornes at the Pocatello Supercomputing Center & Dance Hall and came up with a slogan! Here it is, just freshly unveiled and all: "I like don't stop thinking about changing horses in midstream of the Tippecanoe in a log cabin tomorrow for a change!" Feel free to create a campaign song around it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Peace Date: 15 May 04 - 12:17 PM Saw the title of this thread: 'ope 'e took 'is 'ead out first. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: dianavan Date: 15 May 04 - 06:10 PM Bobert - You and Rap are both fine - just stay where you are and don't interfere with Cascadia or the world for that matter. Rap - since you are not interested in taking on the job of prez, bobert is still in. Some of Idaho will be annexed to Cascadia and maybe you will be lucky enough to be a part of this wonderful new, world order with Cascadia as capital. Something tells me we will still need potatoes and beets. Would you like to be the minister of agriculture? Of course, that means you will have to be an organic kinda guy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Peace Date: 15 May 04 - 06:36 PM Does that mean the Rapaire will preach to vegetables and grains? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 15 May 04 - 11:13 PM Talk to vegetables? Hey, I work in a library. I talk to veg...oh, you don't mean the kind with two legs. You should also know that Idaho leads the US in the production of lentils. Actually, I see no reason why we should be annexed. Rather, we should be doing the annexing. Where else can you find The River Of No Return? Or, for that matter, "Sh. Creek"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: dianavan Date: 15 May 04 - 11:28 PM Cascadia also needs librarians. Would you rather be our resident archivist? No, he will not do any preaching. He will, in fact, keep his mouth shut. :>) Do you think we should include all of Idaho? I hear that most of it is pretty worthless and that there are lots of 'white supremist' types. Lentils I like. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amergin Date: 16 May 04 - 12:40 AM NO! not all of idaho...Canadia can have Southern Idaho...and the Great North Idaho can become a rightful nation of it's own...independant from both Canadian....and the US...ah...it would be a dream come true... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: beardedbruce Date: 16 May 04 - 09:41 AM Since dianavan has brought it up: "I think beardedbruce might agree to work in the sanitation facility." Can you give any details as to salary, benefits, and retirement??? I have no problem with honest work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Peace Date: 16 May 04 - 11:29 AM beardedbruce: That would make you the boss. Fellow went to the employment office after he'd lost his job. Government guy says, "What did you do in your last job?" Fellow said, "I was the boss." "Well, sir, could you explain?" He said, "Sure. I went into the sewer and filled up a bucket, and I passed it to the next guys, and him to the next guy, and the last guy poured it into the truck." The government employee started to laugh. He said, "And that makes you the boss?" Guys says, "Yeah. I'm the boss. I don't take shit from no one!" I've done my share of that, too. unbeardedbruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 17 May 04 - 08:51 AM Archivy is a specialized branch of the Antiente Et Mysteriouse Arte And Crafte Of Librariany. It involves vellum scrolls, cuneiform tablets, incunabulae, the Philosopher's Stone, aqua vita, papyri, mummia, and other stuff. Those who practice it (and none ever gets good at it) search for what is called The Perfect. None who are not an Archivist Of The Premier Rank are permitted to know exactly what is supposed to be Perfect -- wave, beach, whiskey, whisky, retirement community, job, G-string, you're not told. Premiers (as they're called) commit this information and since all but one of them are well aged (and well pickled) they pretty much all forgotten. The one who isn't well aged and/or pickled is Lilith ap Dwyffd and she lives in Tire na Nog, a suburb of Big Neck, Illinois and not to far from Hi Basil, Illinois. While I'm perfect I don't think I'm qualified to be an Archivist. Sigh. If nobody wants Eastern Idaho I guess we'll have to annex Wyoming. At least they have a budget surplus. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: artbrooks Date: 17 May 04 - 10:57 AM I always thought that Eastern Idaho was going to become part of Greater Deseret... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 17 May 04 - 11:19 AM WE do not "become part of." Others become part of us. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 17 May 04 - 07:16 PM That's right, Rap, and that's our campaign slogan: "Yer either with us or not!" Right. Danged brilliant! What ever we paid for it it was bargain!!! And so original... Awww, jus funnin' wid ya'. Yo sure is gettin'a little touchy the closer we get to the electercation.. Hey, don't worry, be happy. Hey, that's got a nice touch to it also. We might wanta run thay one thru the PR gfolks... I mean... by the PR folks... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: artbrooks Date: 17 May 04 - 07:58 PM PR goofs? Sounds about right.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 17 May 04 - 09:15 PM I got another slogan, Bobert. How about "Vote for someone who'll give up the job!" or perhaps "Let's win this one for the Quitter." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Bobert Date: 17 May 04 - 11:17 PM Either one works fir me... But Iz kinda been thinkin' 'bout "Guittin' for you..." Kinda patriotic, if ya ask me... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Amergin Date: 17 May 04 - 11:30 PM how about simply: "I'm not Bush" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Benjamin Date: 18 May 04 - 12:33 AM Rapaire, I'm surprised you haven't even considered me for your running mait! I haven't suffered enough yet and I'm from the North West. Although there is that age limit thing. That won't really help my case much. Maybe I'll have to wait until you run for re-election and you have changed the required ages for running for office. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Rapparee Date: 18 May 04 - 08:47 AM Benjamin, my whole campaign is based upon the fact that as soon as I qualify for the retirement benefits I'll resign. That's one of the only two campaign promises I'm making. The other one is "I'll try not to screw things up too badly before I get to quit." (I am thinking about an Executive Order though, called "ETA". Means "Equal Time for Acoustic" and would require one-to-one radio, etc. play time for acoustic and electronic music, with preference given to folk, blues, jazz and so on. Only my consultants can't define folk, blues, and jazz. There have been several fights and three bars smashed already.) Hmmm...how about the post of Ambassador to the Philharmonics? Or Head of the CIA (Cello Instrumentals Agency)? They're both tough jobs, especially for a folkie, and I certainly wouldn't want to downplay the dangers. We lost three agents last year to Verdi and no one who's gotten into Vivaldi has ever returned. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Benjamin Date: 18 May 04 - 02:05 PM Verdi and Vivaldi have nothing on me!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rapaire throws hat into the ring... From: Peace Date: 22 May 04 - 01:51 PM Where the hell is Rapaire? He's the friggin' leader. Off somewhere playing golf or quoits or something while the country goes to ruins. |
