BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal

Subject: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:23 PM

Silence not fatal to women: Official
Ground-breaking research liberates females worldwide
by Germaine O'Greerson
Millions of women around the globe are today breathing a collective — and hushed — sigh of relief this week after a research team proved that even extended periods of silence were not fatal to female humans.

The ground-breaking investigation debunked hundreds of years of popular myth which maintained that even a few seconds without some form of conversation could kill an adult woman dead on the spot. Lead researcher Dr Antonia Vileda-Shine told The Rockall Times: "The results surprised me as much as anyone, I can tell you. We put a husband and wife into a controlled environment with sofa, television set and remote control, and asked the wife not to speak for approximately twenty seconds while her partner was watching Euro 2004. To our amazement, she did not expire at the end of the enforced silence."

The news has been greeted with jubilant scenes as hitherto verbose women realised that they would no longer have to shoulder the burden of expanding a minimum of verbal material to fill anything up to 90 minutes. "It was just exhausting," admitted one visibly-shattered Kent housewife. "To sustain a one-sided conversation about what happened at the supermarket checkout for the entire duration of a football match is exhausting. But that's what my mother did, and my mother's mother, and I always assumed that if they stopped twittering on then the silence would kill them."

But while women can now look forward to a more relaxed and decibel-free home environment, many men have reacted to the news with dismay. "I tried to read the paper yesterday without the usual accompaniment of the missus giving me the weekly rundown of who said to who down at the hairdressers," admitted a man propping up the bar of his local. "I just couldn't concentrate, to be honest."

The triumphant team behind the discovery this morning confirmed that they are moving on to a new area of research, and intend to prove that women will not go blind if they read the instructions which are supplied with washing machines, microwave ovens, DVD players, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:25 PM

you are a braver man then I 'gin!

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:40 PM

In this case, silence is golden. It has been nice knowing you, Amergin.

Ladies: I do NOT agree with Amergin. He did incorporate a neat play on words by mentioning the author of "The Female Eunuch", thus indicating a familiarity with the issues surrounding women's rights. Please take that into consideration at the trial.

Hate to desert a friend, and if it was only an armed military force, I would stay. But, not for this. G'luck. You are on your own.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:44 PM

...on the other hand, if she's been silent for more than a year, you might want to check and see if she dead or maybe run off with the cabana boy.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Blackcatter
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:45 PM

Ladies: I do NOT agree with Amergin

So what you're saying Brucie is that you think that silence is fatal?

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:49 PM

Naw. I'm chickenshit when it comes to pissin' women off. Jaysus. Don't want to get anyone started. So, here I cower, brown nose and all.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:52 PM

Amergin's piece is brilliantly insightful, humorous and articulate. Unfortunately it has no basis in fact.

A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:01 PM

Why some men may not talk so much: it's hard to enunciate properly with your mouth full of feet.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Megan L
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:11 PM

Amos dear it doesnt have to look at our ilustrious poloticians pronouncements :) Amergin the pine isn't very good this year but I can do you a nice line in cedar. And the added bonus is you laying out suit wont have moths.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:11 PM

It is clear that Amergin is viciously anti-female. He's trying to trick countless unsuspecting women into silence, thus bringing about their certain death!


Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:17 PM

Well, truth to tell, silence does not kill and in some women it looks turribly attractive. In the correct proportions, as with everything...

A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:20 PM

Silence is something we could all use more of.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:21 PM

*donning flak vest*

I ain't taking no damage from the barrage that this will produce

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:30 PM

If a tree falls in the woods, and there is no woman to hear, is the man still wrong?

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:44 PM

yes

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 03:56 PM

ah, yes...exaggeration of stereotypes for the sake of dubious humor! A revered tradition...funny, I don't personally know ANY woman who goes to a beauty parlor, and most of them have interesting things to say anyway...*grin*

.....and we men do not always take refuge in the sports channel to escape our wives talking, either. Nor we all drool at the sight of a 42DD bosom. I do forget that there are some men AND women out there who maintain these stereotypes and give comedians material for routines for bars.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: artbrooks
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:26 PM

When herself is quiet for any extended period of time, I begin to worry about just exactly what I have done wrong this time.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: RichM
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:30 PM

Well I admit most of the women I know DO frequent "hair salons". And I won't admit to drooling at the sight of impressive bosoms, though I do admit to LOOKING...
... And watching sports is about as interesting as watching a spin cycle.

And I was a stereotype, when stereo replaced mono...

Rich ;)

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:30 PM

Well...maybe not drool exactly. But practice meditative inspiration and focus, perhaps...

A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:31 PM

When I see a 42DD bosom I edge away nervously. :-) I have never watched the Sports Channel. What else have we got?

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Megan L
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:53 PM

Silence can be fatal remember "all it takes for evil to succeed is for a good woman to say nothing." *goes to remove tongue from cheek.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Pogo
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 08:49 PM

Hey..." better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. "

And this applies for both men and 'the gentler sex'

I'm surprised no disgruntled ultra-feminazi has yet thrown out mutters about male chauvinism by now and instigated a full scale gender war in this thread. I mean...what am I going to do with this six pack and bucket of designer popcorn now? I want entertainment, dangit!!!! *sighs*

And LH I'd back away from a 42DD bosom too...they've been known to go off without warning. o_O

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Blackcatter
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 09:40 PM

I like to look at big breasts, but when they're presented to me to play with, I'm confused. I know how to handle small ones - they sit right there and the true focus is the nipple, but with the mass of large ones -I keep feeling there's more I should be doing with them.

Any tips?

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 09:48 PM

I'm surprised no disgruntled ultra-feminazi has yet thrown out mutters about male chauvinism by now and instigated a full scale gender war in this thread. I mean...what am I going to do with this six pack and bucket of designer popcorn now?

I don't know, Pogo. Sorry to disappoint.

BTW, I say this as a favor to you... you might want to consider removing the term "feminazi" from your lexicon. (You'll thank me later.)

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 10:56 PM

BC: See the post directly above yours, from Pogo, for advice relevant to your post.

A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:14 PM

My sister's once was told by her husband to shut up; she didn't speak for three weeks.

(She always was a touch hardheaded. On the other hand, she never babbled in her life.)

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:15 PM

Scratch 's

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:20 PM

Well, me and the Wes Ginny Slide Rule all over this one... We have observed that the P-Vine (wifeperson) doesn't talk too much in her sleep, actually going hours without talking and yet, come morning, she's still alive.....and well....and, ahhhh.....














talkin.

That's our observation unless the P-Vine should happen to read this and then we may have to make some revisions in our observations.

Bobert and the WGSR...

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:21 PM

I'm told that it increases the facial flush in a man with rosacea.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:24 PM

Scratch that post!

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:18 AM

You think that was a scratching post, Ebb?


A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:37 AM

:) Amos. That post of mine was meant for the viagra thread.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:40 AM

Oh!! I am glad to see you are exercising rigor in your logic, anyway!


A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 06:58 AM

And who you calling the 'gentler sex'?

Men get 'flu, children get a cold, women get on with it.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 11:23 AM

Did any of you really think that one of us would read this post and want to start ranting against it?

Silly boys.

Sorry, but if you notice, the majority of long-windedness here on Mudcat is reserved for the male of the species.

We girlies have better things to do.


;-D ..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 11:50 AM

Absolutely. Gotta keep the kitchen clean.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 11:52 AM

Is that what they're calling it these days?

(Oh cabana boy! Come clean my kitchen!)

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:01 PM

That's it, Carol.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:09 PM

Brucie honey, sidle on over here, and I'll show you where else we can put that rolling pin...xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:39 PM

LOL

This is a funny thread because it shows how much the stereotype does not apply to women who frequent the 'cat. I have been coming back to the thread thinking maybe I'd encounter the sliced, diced, flayed and otherwise mutilated 'body' of Guest amergin. Instead, women have grabbed the long end--allow me to rephrase that--women have proceeded with dignity and decorum, thus demonstrating that tyhe female of the human variety can be both housebroken AND trained, while in effect the male can only be housebroken.

It does restore one's confidence in people.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:53 PM

Bruce!! Don't pick up the soap!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 01:05 PM

hahahahaha...

(Ok ladies. Remember the pact. Don't anybody tell them how things really work or it'll spoil everything... )

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 01:50 PM

This is definitely the Hundredth Monkey thing, isn't it? Guys, the women are onto something here. We are in deep, deep, deep trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Megan L
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 02:09 PM

Ah the gentle sounds of men twitering it must be summer :)

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 03:28 PM

DEEP trouble!

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 03:41 PM

Oh, if only they knew, girls.... if only they knew!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Mudlark
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 03:44 PM

No comment.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 03:46 PM

Very, very DEEP.

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 05:26 PM

Mind you, it looked pretty fatal for the woman in the pub sign in Dorset, where I used to live.... it's called 'The Quiet Woman' and has a little rhyme about it - let no man breed a riot, now the woman be quiet - and shows a woman holding her own severed head
The legend of the Quiet Woman .

It's no longer a pub, just a private house but I remember it well for its fine beer and intriguing pub sign.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: It's Proven-Silence not Fatal
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 05:30 PM

does that mean she was holding her tongue ( among other things)?