Warning of a new hoax

Subject: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 12:38 PM

I HATE HOAX WARNINGS, BUT THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT. PLEASE SEND TO EVERYONE ON YOUR E-MAIL.

IF A MAN COMES TO YOUR FRONT DOOR AND SAYS HE IS CONDUCTING A SURVEY AND ASKS YOU TO SHOW HIM YOUR ARSE, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR ARSE.

THIS IS A SCAM ; HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOUR ARSE.

I WISH I HAD GOT THIS YESTERDAY. I FEEL SO STUPID AND CHEAP.

Skipy

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 12:56 PM

I don't care who sees my arse-I don't have to look at it!

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 01:11 PM

Why shouldn't we let him see our arse if he wants to see it?

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,skipy
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 01:16 PM

as a nude morris dancer I agree!

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 01:24 PM

I have three arses for sale in the barn- I only need to know which one he wants to see.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,Jif - choosy mothers choose me
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 01:27 PM

gosh golly - this isn't any hoax. There is a national survey being done - it's very important and when the information is compiled then everyone who has shown the surveyor will receive $5 from the government. I know this is true because it was posted to my moderated discussion group on boll weevils.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: open mike
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 01:36 PM

Ha! as for the moniker: "Jif - choosy mothers choose me " in case you don't know this is a reference to a peanut butter ad from many long years ago! (many may not "get" the reference) what a wierd brand name, eh? but maybe not as wierd as "Goober" (short for goober peas, another name for peanuts) which has peanut butter and jelly swirled in the same jar...yuck!

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 01:42 PM

I have it on good advice that we all need to participate in this survey. The results of thses studies will help in the development of a new skin cream which will prevent crows feet and smile lines on our faces. Now how do you all feel about cellulite jowls?

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 02:21 PM

I thought Jif(f) was spelled with two "f"s (Jiff).

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 02:23 PM

Nope. Just one 'f'.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 02:31 PM

but "skippy" is normally with two "p's"

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,skipy
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 03:05 PM

There was a "2P" skippy already registered when I joined.

Skipy

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 03:55 PM

are tyou trying to get to the bottom of this?

is there no end?

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 04:42 PM

Mark my words, this is One of the Signs Of The End Times. In hind sight you will realize that you made yourself an ass and you will be the butt of many jokes when your friends find out.

Gad, but this leaves the way open for punning! I shall refrain from stooping that low and will say nothing about "Derry Air" or "moons" or even "cheeks." I sure everyone knows how I feel about puns and punsters!

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 05:17 PM

Bum survey if you ask me! Apparently it has slowed down somewhat ...the last news said "They are getting behind with the survey and any chances of getting it finished in the next few weeks??? the surveyors have rectum....sorry wrecked'em.
Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 06:06 PM

and who put the anal in analysis?

It's alimentary my dear wotsit

passage of time would make a superstory (sounds better pronounced)

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Snuffy
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 07:05 PM

Didn't Jif change its name to Cif a few years ago?

And when's Grove this year?

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 03:53 AM

13, 14, 15 Aug. 2004

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 06:16 AM

Thanks for the good puns, Rapaire. You gave me a chuckle.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:40 AM

Puns? Moi? I wouldn't stoop to puns, no, not even if it were possible for me to enjoy wordplay and language abuse. I agree with Shakespeare about puns: he said...well, I'm sure he said something about them.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 04:11 AM

They reckon the name Jif was changed to Cif to stop confusion. In Europe it could be pronounced as Jif or Yif. No they have stopped confusion it can be either Sif or Kif...

Survey? My Arse...

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,Ellenpoly
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 05:32 AM

Too late.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 05:36 AM

Are you sure he wasn't a Cockney and didn't want to see your House? How many East london conmen have been thwarted by this cruel accent?

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: GUEST,peedeecee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 04:36 PM

Rapaire, I don't know if Shakespeare said anything about puns or not, but Samuel Johnson wrote about Shakespeare that puns (which were known then as quibbles)"had a malignant hold over his mind."

I've always loved that statement, and appreciate it fully, as I love puns, and they do have a hold over my mind -- but I don't think it's malignant.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 06:19 PM

"In Europe it could be pronounced as Jif or Yif."

...and how would they pronounce 'jiffy'?...confusions are often only what you make them.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 06:22 PM

"Puns are the lowest form of humor," someone said. I revel in low humor.

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 06:28 PM

As the sign said in the butchers:

"Would customers please stop giving their children rides on the bacon slicer.
We are getting behind with our orders!"

Nigel

Subject: RE: Warning of a new hoax
From: Bo Vandenberg
Date: 04 Jul 04 - 05:47 AM

Freud is credited as saying:

Puns are the lowest form of wit.

Someone (I don't know who) said

Buns are the lowest form of wheat.

Sigurd