BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.

Subject: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:36 PM

I was fired from my job last week. Misfortunes are not new to me. About 3 1/2 years ago I was nearly killed in a car accident. I could not keep up my attendance at work, so I was forced to leave. This happened after working hard -- days, nights, and weekends -- and doing damn good work for 23 years. I was unemployed for 2 1/2 years. During that time, I had some personal tragedies, which I won't talk about here. I was very depressed and very scared. When my money runs out, I have no family or significant other to take care of me. In June of this year, I finally found a job, and I was fired in November, ostensibly because I was once two hours late for work due to a documented medical emergency, but, realistically, because the company is losing the contract I worked on. I was so depressed that I was suicidal.

I am not a regular poster here nor a public personality, and most of you probably don't even know who I am. Nevertheless, I'm asking you for some kind words of compassion and encouragement. Please don't let me down.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:42 PM

Sorry to hear your news Pauline. Positive energy and Big Hugs from London. x

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:53 PM

Pauline:

You can shake it off, suck it up and march ahead in your life. Please do!!

Warm regards,


Amos

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:54 PM

I'm sorry that you've had such a troubled time, and I wish you well.

Do be aware however that sending 'positive energy' over the internet is of no use to anyone. (OK, it makes the sender feel good, but that's about it)

If you'd like some more practical help (i.e. something that works) please give some more details of what you want to do, where you are etc. You might be suprised.

Take care, anyway.

Ed

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Marion
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:01 PM

Hello Pauline. I'm sorry to hear all that has happened to you. Thoughts and prayers from Toronto as well.

Please look for help if you find yourself having suicidal thoughts again - your doctor, or even a telephone hotline. Depression is dangerous, and getting through it isn't just a matter of solving your financial problems or hanging tough. The support of Mudcatters and your real life friends may not be enough either.

With love, Marion

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: PoppaGator
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM

Wish I could help. I went through a year of unemployment about ten years back, after risking everything to go into business with a partner.

(I know only too well how much misery loves company, so I'll prattle on about my own bad experience and hope it doesn't bore or depress you too badly. In the end, I've come out of the deal relatively OK, and I hope you can find hope in knowing that.)

We had been doing pretty well, but were still paying off startup expenses when our entire industry -- typesetting -- suddenly became obsolete and we eventually had to declare bankruptcy. Not only did I lose my current job, not to mention my business, but I lost my line of work -- *no* more jobs existed doing what I had been doing for 20+ years.

Unlike you, I wasn't alone in the world -- but having a wife and three young children entailed extra responsibility as well as providing support. I was able, at least, to provide some "off the books" help to my wife in her self-employed work, so I wasn't completely idle and unproductive during the long months of joblessness.

I eventually found a fairly lousy job, and spent about two years bouncing from one unsatisfactory job to another before falling into my current almost-OK situation. I'm still not doing as well as 10-15 years ago, but working life is tolerable, and life in general is good.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM

It isn't just a matter of solving your financial problems or hanging tough. The support of Mudcatters and your real life friends may not be enough either.

I'm sorry, Marion, but how could such a negative message help anyone?

No doubt you mean well, but really...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:19 PM

Luck will turn, Pauline. What is important now, is not to allow yourself to slip into a negative mindset and to keep plugging. Also, consider your skills and their applicability to different jobs than the ones you have been used to. You might need some help with that, but the results can often suprise pleasantly.

Keep posting, here and in other threads. Keep contact with us. In the absence of others closer to you, most of us would be happy to act as a "family" of sorts.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:21 PM

Pauline,
If it is any consolation, I am out of work too and know a few others in the same boat. If money isn't a huge problem, enjoy the time off. If it is, time to sit down and figure out how to get through the next month or two.

I am sorry. Experience (my own) tells me that this is not a bad thing and you will find something better. That doesn't help when money is tight and the holidays are around the corner.

Music always help me battle depression. Play some song or artist you love and relax.

I will PM you.

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:22 PM

"GUESTS" don't really know what they're talking about do they. If they did, they wouldn't only be guests...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:25 PM

I will go along with El G - It can be surprising what you can find yourself enjoying , when it starts out as a 'Stop Gap' job . In my case , stores work after electronics and a brief sojourn into Pro Music !! Best of luck any way , and keep 'the family' informed .

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:29 PM

Marion urged Pauline consider professional help because friends might not be enough. That was an intelligent thing to say, and there wasn't anything negative about it.

I, like Marion, would also suggest that if things got THAT bad, you call the hotline. I hope they don't get that bad.

Listen - I know who you are. You play fiddle and have an occasional uncooperative A-string. You've always made me feel welcome, and I've enjoyed playing music with you. I don't know what to suggest about finding work, but that doesn't sound like the main problem. As long as you have hope and keep trying, there's a possibility of something good happening. It's normal to feel shakey about things right now. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and take it day-by-day. It's the best way to get by when things are uncertain. I hope when I see you at next year's Getaway, you tell me how you had a rough time for a little while, but eventually found a great job with great people.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:34 PM

One door closes; another opens.

I've always found that to be the case, even if it takes a little while for that new door to crack.

Don't give up, girl. Living well (and happily) IS the best revenge.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:39 PM

I third Marion's comments. If it all becomes too much, get help. I was forced to by good friends when depression kept me from eating or sleeping for four days. Finally lost some weight but a bit of mind in the process too. You have friends to help you through this, lady. But if suicide is an option, get professional help immediately. Many of us here have been there. PM anyone who has posted here and they will listen.

Like Jeri, I hope and believe this is a temporary rough spot. And next October, this will all be behind you.

SINSULL, in Pollyanna mode.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:46 PM

Theres this line in the film The Commitments, 'its much better being an unemployed musician than an unemployed plumber'

I 'm sure that must sound flippant, but its really not intended as such. Its hard to see the good things about your life when problems loom up in such a way but as the poet auden says 'life remains a blessing although you my not bless'. Just because the job hasn't worked out, you are still a lot of good things - maybe a musician is one of them - if not, I'm sure theres something that makes a day seem sweeter for you.

I was compelled into inactivity at various times in my life. My wife was disabled and there was no one else to look after her - so my career went out the window. i did all kinds of stuff. read a lot -libraries are free here in the uk. wrote a play which never got put on, and a novel which never got published - but at least I learned how useless a writer I was. Some people go through life deluding themselves on that score! oh yeh played the guitar - which is what I do now for a sort of living!

A bit like dustin Hoffman says in Tootsie, just cos your unemployed - it doesn't mean you stop working. but work for yourself!

I feel sure that your situation will improve. here on mudcat we're all wishing you all the very best, and our fingers are crossed for the next job interview you go to. keep us posted, and talk to us if it helps a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Hollowfox
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:55 PM

Positive energy over the 'net might not work, but knowing that there are a bunch of people who igve a damn does make a difference. (Speaking from experience here.) So, your genuine purebred Midwest @$#%-reduction candle will get fired up tonight when I get home from work (a bit more than an hour), and set right next to Sinsull's.
On a more pragmatic note, stores are hiring for the holidays, if you can go that route. It's a temporary fix, but better than nothing. And temp services have helped me along in times past.
Yes, the tide will turn. Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:15 PM

I give up. What is a reduction candle? On sale at Pier One? Guaranteed to cause weight loss? Or will any vilely scented (read overscented) bit of wax do?
SINSULL
PS Thank you for burning one for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: bbc
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:19 PM

Pauline, I sympathize. I started work from a divorce I didn't want, w/ 2 small children to care for. I lost my 1st 3 jobs in 1-2 years each, even though I was trying my best. After the 3rd one, I was unemployed for 2 years, because I was trying to find a job that would support me & my kids in the expensive area where we needed to live, so they could have visitation w/ their dad & stay in their school system. Finally, I got to a job in a school district an hour from my home. It was small, rural, & not nearly as high-paying as some of the jobs I'd had, but they kept me! All in all, between job woes & legal battles w/ my ex, I went through a rocky 10 years or so. Now, life is pretty stable & I feel strong & self-confident. I'm a bit more cynical than I started out, but that may be all to the good. I leaned on God, family, & friends to get me through & none failed me. I wish you well; don't give up!

best from New York,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:28 PM

I haven't worked via temp agencies for many years, but sometimes they help keep the wolf from the door. Try them. Not just for office work.

Local driving deliveries jobs are good for women: in the UK they hire women for this rather than men because men have worse crash records. You often need to phone round rather than wait for job ads to appear.

You don't give us much clue what your skills might be. In the UK charities often hire women because they can get away with paying them less.

Join a union and vote - in the UK you would have had probable unfair dismissal and/or redundancy claims.

Claim every benefit you can. Pride is for the rich.

Offer to work part time as a volunteer in pro bono sectors that interest you - a paid vacancy may come along.

I know a number of people who turn regular profits from ebay trading. Find a niche, and concentrate on the content of your sale ads. Some I know use sewing skills to produce clothes and similar items. I know one male transvestite who makes a fortune selling used underwear on ebay, honestly!

If you are a keen gardner, many women would rather hire a female gardner than a male one, but this is a bit the wrong time of year. Similarly painting and decorating, but here you can try to get in on the "do it before xmas" routine.

Above all concentrate on being inventive and opportunistic. You will have to fight: do it intelligently, and good luck. I hope this reads helpfully, and not as "brace up and get on with it" for that is not what I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: akenaton
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:43 PM

Pauline I dont usually get involved in personal threads, but I was touched by your post .
You sound a good and sincere person and I hope things take a turn for the better in your life.
Im not a religious man but Iv found that in life the bad things you suffer are often compensated in some way.

Coming through these hardships can give you an inner strength and an understanding of the important things in life.
I sincerely hope that you find strength and happiness in the near future...Ake

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Hollowfox
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:54 PM

Sins, I don't have the time to give the whole story right now (library closes in a few minutes), but these are, er, unfortunate candles. they're cracked, warped, etc. The first ones were the color of s#!t. So I figured that burning them would get rid of a bit of ugly in the world. And it seems to work. Marythepyrophile

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: mg
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:54 PM

Good luck. It might help if yo gave a general idea of what country, state, general area you are in and what kind of work you have done or are willing and able to do...nothing worse than looking for work...for me anyway. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Janie
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:58 PM

Hang in there Pauline! You WILL find another job. Life truly is "one thing after another" and sometimes we get a run of the hard things. I am so very glad you are asking for help and support here, and hope and pray you will seek professional help if you need it. Will hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 08:08 PM

Sniff...

I'm real sorry, Pauline... Like supreme bummmer, but...

... sounds like yer a purdy danged good worker so that is good news for yer next boss.

Until he finds you, you will be in my thought and prayers (really) so keep us posted. Okay?

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 09:18 PM

Hi Pauline,

Lot's of good stuff here already, but as one of the folks who've actually met you in 3D I want to add a few words along with my cyber-best. I've watched you play and bring out wonderful accents in others songs. Sometimes life goes right over the top for alot of us, and just getting through a list of must do's seems way too much, but then the sun comes back out. Especially this time of year as the days get longer make sure you're getting some sun everyday. And music for your soul. And we'll be here too...keep talking

Blessings and Light

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 09:25 PM

Well, I know that kind words of compassion and encouragement over the internet do indeed help, having been on the receiving end of some of them, and having benefited greatly from them.

So I send you those I have to give. I'm very sorry you are and have been experiencing such a difficult time these last few years. I hope that things will begin to improve for you immediately, and that you will never hesitate to reach out to others for help and/or moral support when you need it. Many of us know how it feels to be in your situation, so you're not as alone as you might think. Hang in there... things do eventually turn around.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: dwditty
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:14 PM

Pauline,

Guest,Ed is all wrong. Positive energy can very well be sent over the internet. I bet if you asked Catspaw he would confirm it, as well as many others here. The energy comes in different ways...from some it is prayer, others it is advice, still others send light...whatever it is, it cannot hurt to know that a large group of people spread all over the place have paused for a moment to wish you well. Don't take that lightly. In fact, breath in deeply. Inhale it. Use it as a spark to create positive thoughts. As much grousing as takes place here, I have found that even some of the crustiest of us really do care. So here are thoughts from me.

Of course, Mose Allison said it well when he sang, "I Don't Worry 'Bout a Thing, 'Cause I Know Nothin's Gonna Be Alright" but that is for a different thread.

dw

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:47 PM

Pauline, I've never been particularly good coming up with ideas or words of advice to help people when they are going through tough and painful times in life, but I am a good listener and I know for me, sometimes just having someone listen helps.   

Unfortunately on the internet you can't tell that anyone out there is listening unless they type something, so I did. As Tinker said, "Keep talking".

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: dianavan
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:53 PM

Pauline - I know this is a tough time for you but remember that all things pass in time.

Take this opportunity to discover what it is you want to do. I mean it. Get creative. So many people are stuck in their jobs they never have the chance to explore other possibilities. This is also a good time to 'make family'. I'm not kidding. Cultivate those friendships. The more people you know, the better the chance of landing a job.

I know how hard it can be but it will not last. By this time next year, you will be feeling fine. The only truth is that things change.

d

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: hesperis
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 11:00 PM

Those suicide hotlines suck!!! Still, it is sometimes helpful to be able to talk to a real live human being who's trying to care about you. Assuming you can reach a live human being when you call... *rollseyes*

Anyway. I've been homeless for the past three years and was on welfare for most of my life. If not for the help of some people (some of them mudcatters) I would be too sick even to work at home.

Welfare now has programs available to those who want to start their own businesses as a way of getting off it... the info isn't readily available but the programs do exist. The programs are designed in such as way that it's almost impossible to succeed on them, but they can help.

Use the government as much as you can to get by. Seriously.

I'm married now and it'll still be a long while before both of us are out of the woods as he has some health conditions that make working difficult as well... but we're hanging on and it is slowly getting better.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:03 AM

In December 2000 I left a secure job because I was the victim of bullying by my boss, and I couldn't see it getting any better. I wasn't sure I would get another job (because of my age, and because my experience is in a particular field) but since then have had 3 - all found because in each case a friend had contacted me and said "we need someone where I work, are you interested?" I have been in my current job since April 2002 and plan to stay for a long time yet.
Let as many people as you can in your area - friends - contacts - know you are available. I don't know if the informal networking works where you are, but I have heard that only a very small percentage of jobs are ever advertised, the rest are filled by networking and word-of-mouth.
Meantime don't be hard on yourself!

Cheers and hugs
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:08 AM

Well you obviously knew to come to the right place, Pauline!

There are lots of us at MC who have tales of woe, and I agree that the ability to share them, and ask for a little positive energy to come your way is a good start.

But I also agree that you need to watch yourself carefully and not fall into a depression. This is imperative for you to be able to move forward.

So please take the advice of everyone here, and help yourself first in whatever why you can, then find those who are in a position to be of support and service.

Mostly, remember that all things change. It's both a blessing and a curse, but in the end, it can be very comforting to know.

Best Wishes to you...xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Gurney
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:38 AM

Pauline, sympathy from me because it has happened to me, one too many times.
I'm a bloke, so along with the sympathy, I'll offer you my fix.

The last time, seven years ago, I started my own business. This was a worrying punt, as I had absolutely no business experience, but it has fed my family for those seven years. I've always been a handyman, and now I'm a professional handyman, with more work than I need.

I wouldn't recommend my line unless you have experience, but there are opportunities everywhere if you have a talent.
You could swallow your pride and 'phone previous employers asking about temp. work.
Interior painting and decorating, including rag-rolling. Wallpaper-stripping, all you need is a steamer and a short ladder. Gardening, particularly weeding. Domestic cleaning, babysitting, clothing alterations. All these are jobs that don't require great strength or investment, and here at least are in demand. Maybe others can offer more ideas.   Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:03 AM

Oh, hell. I've been there. Do your best to work the system - there's all kinds of money and assistance out there, but you have to grub for it - you have to ask the right question of the right person at the right time, so ask a lot of questions. If you go somewhere determined to get help, don't take no for an answer - don't leave without SOMETHING to show for it, even if it's not what you came for, even if it's just information or a referral or somebody else to talk to who might know of something that can help you. Somebody above mentioned temp jobs - temp jobs are great, and I've gotten at least three fulltime permanent jobs by starting as a temp. Just be as professional as possible, and don't let the temp agency send you on too many envelope stuffing jobs, because those are always deadend. Also, sign up with more than one agency. Some agencies have training centers where you can work through tutorials for computer programs you're not familiar with, too. School systems are always looking for subs, too, if you can stand the kids.

My heart goes out to you, and what Cluin said is absolutely true.
--Suzanne

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: open mike
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:26 AM

a while back i was experiencing many many changes in mylife..
parents dying, seperation and divorce from hubby of 25 years,
children leaving home, and to top it all off, just lately my dog died.
sounds like some sort of twisted country song...
but some how, just somehow, if you can find it in you to see
the problems as opportunities....chances to change, see things different
and go in new directions (like was said earlier...a door opens when one
closes) The best help i found when i was floundering around with all the losses was a book by pema Chodron, a buddhist monk or "nun" called
"When things fall apart" "Heart Advice for difficult times" and if you
want to p.m. me with you raddress i will send you a tape of her reading it. with hopes that it will help in some small way. Laurel
i hope you have a tape recorder/player...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 04:02 AM

From what someone else says - you are a performer.

What I didn't realise for many years is that this marks you out over a lot of people and means you have a lot more bottle than most and probably skills.

One job I really loved was being an instore Santa Claus. Its like being a star. You walk through the store with all your gear on and you outshine evrybody.

the nice thing is, unlike Elton John, who is stuck with being a star. You can take all the gear off, the beard and everything and go back to being you. It really weird walking through the store and nobody looking at you. Ten minutes before you were a cynosure.

If you get the buzz from audiences, unlike most people who just get attack of the willies, there tons of career opportunities. You don't have to be out of work. Took me AGES to realise that.

Right now, I do a gig for old peoples homes. You have to think carefully what they want. Its not doing maybe what you dreamed of when you first played guitar - but its using talent to give people what they want. the trouble is with your situation I guess blind panic sets in - why wouldn't it.

But trust me, if you're a player theres ALWAYS stuff out there.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 05:59 AM

Just a note for Chris Nightbird, sorry you feel the way you do about guests, but some of us can only access the net from work and so (at the moment) have to remain as guests. As soon as I can find a reliable and (very) cheap PC for home I shall join immediately. From posts you have made in the past I am surprised at you.

That apart, I know just how Pauline feels. Been there, done that, left wearing nothing but the T shirt. Sort of OK now, but at times it is a very narrow path to tread.

Love to all

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: fat B****rd
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:05 AM

All the positve and loving words already sent and all the best from Charlie (fB)

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Bassic
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:07 AM

There is enough negative energy around in the world as it is........especially in your world at the moment Pauline, because of your circumstances.
That negative energy cancels out the positive energy that we all need to be sucessful. It eats up the "get up and go", the "roll your sleves up and get on with it", the creative energy. That creative energy is what we use when we are being sucessfull and feeling fulfilled. We all have varying levels of creative energy and the draws on that energy are different for us all depending on our circumstances.
In simple terms.......we get depressed when the negatives start to outway the positives. Because of your current circumstances the negatives are outwaying the positives at the moment and the feeling of depression that comes with an excess of negatives is a completely normal reaction to have, so dont think there is anything "wrong" with you. As the positives start to return, the mood will lift.

Where do we get those positives from? For some it will be from their loved ones, for others it will be from their skills and tallents, for others it will be from very deep within themselfs because of their faith, or because they have an exceptional personality, or have been lucky in their upbringing. For you at the moment, some of it is coming from here in Mudcat.
Take the possitive good thoughts here and use them to find more......do some "feel good" stuff, take the flickering of a smile that comes from the good words here, share it with someone, the bus driver, the check out girl at the store, turn it into a grin, because they will probably give you a grin in return. Thats how the positive energy that you need gets built. Work, good luck, success will return as the smile does, it just seems to work like that!

I am having to do exactly the same myself at the moment, life has just thrown me a couple of "curved balls" and so I am topping up the positive energy wherever I can at the moment. Its happened to me before and I am sure it will happen again at sometime in the future, life is like that these days, we just cant "control" everything. However, the "scared" feeling isnt there this time, because I know from the last time it happened, that it is possible to get through it and come out the other side.
I also know that the best thing I can do to help myself is to feed my positive energy as much as possible, thats what makes me employable again, makes people want to be around me, makes me successful again. Gives me back my energy for life.

So, dont put all your energy into trying to get a depressed person a job......that is never easy! Use some of your energy on you, on putting that smile back, and you have already started on that road by coming here. You have dicovered one of the secrets of the mudcat family......it actualy works! Why do you think we have so many misserable folks posting here? (I mean the ones that make being miserable an art form!) They keep coming back time after time! Its because they know they will always find a smile here somewhere!!! :-)

Best wishes from Hull (un-misserable capital of the mudcat world ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Jeanie
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:25 AM

Wishing you well, Pauline. To all the good things people have said here, I would add that it's important to take some kind of positive action *every single day* in seeking out new work opportunities. I know, for myself, that that alone makes me feel better and helps to stop me fearing the unknowns ahead. I do "a little bit of this and a little bit of that": different jobs cobbled together in varying combinations, which has kept the wolf from the door for many years since I've been on my own with my daughter. Now, my current major source of income suddenly appears to be drying up, and if I don't do something about it, I'll soon be in deep water. It's a case of keeping eyes and ears open and recognizing opportunities. From past experience, great opportunities often come in small and totally unexpected packages.   

I agree with what people have said here: for something new to come in, space has to be made for it. Life has a way of creating those spaces, whether we want them or not ! Living in that space, until it is filled by the "something new" is inevitably a scary time, but made less so, hopefully, by trying to see it as a necessary part of the process.

Hoping you recognize new, good opportunties every day,

With Love,
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:45 AM

Sorry to hear about your job loss, i hope something decent turns up.
As someone already said try the agencies,also In big shops, Argos etc they are taking temporary staff on for xmas, even if you only get a tempoary job, it will pay a few bills, and give you something to put on your CV.
If you play an instrument, have a go at busking, you might make a few pounds/dollars etc.

good luck.

john

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 08:45 AM

Oh Pauline I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I know just how you feel we are going through the same crap at the moment but the idea about the agency work may well turn out to be a good bet.
My hubby started work with an agency today. He registered 2 days ago and they rang this morning and have sent him off on a job already, god knows to where he didn't even know what he was going to be doing it was all abit vague and very surreal BUT!! it was a quick result and we know that some moneys coming in the door and foods going on the table and the dreaded direct debits will get paid.
Keep your chin up and take note of all this wonderful advice I will be. (((Big Hugs)))

~Debs~

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dewey
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 08:52 AM

Pauline,

Lincoln said:

"People are about as happy as they've made up their minds to be"

Yet Lincoln's life was one tragedy after the other: deaths of loved ones, failed businesses, a decade or more of bankruptcy, depression and a never breakdown etc. He LITERALLY failed at everything he did.

But through all his turmoil, crisis and self-deprivation he went on to become the most Successful and important Presidents in U.S. history, and a giant of a leader.

The facts are, that despite his nervous breakdown and tragic life in general. he gained complete control over his mind.

Your difficulties will not go away, No one's every do. They may in fact get worse, Lincoln's certainly did for the majority of his life.

The things that separates you from you difficulties, and you ability to manage them, (or at least cope with them) is in fact YOU.

You may not choose to manage them right now, that too is YOUR choice, and is not necessarily bad or unhealthly, we all have different levels or tolerances toward the tasks we are trying to do, and the difficulties we are trying to surmount.

If I were in your situation (and based on your personal comments) I would be more concerned with controlling my happiness and well being, rather than worry about whether I was suceeding or failing at this or that, or whether someone approved or dis-approved of me or my performance.

You are you own person, in charge of your OWN happiness, you cannot rely on others to make you happy. You cannot even depend upon you employer to keep you on, should he/she see to it necessary in his/her right to replace you, (maybe it was for his/her betterment as well as your own) this too is a matter of attitude and choice, the boss's as well as yours. (i.e. the way you internalize your self talk)

Every hardship in life has a seed of an equivalent benefit. Any multi-millionaire worth his salt will tell you this absolutely true.

If your attitude is positive (and you are a happy person) you will see the benefit in the experience, which usually is ten times more perfecting than the so called difficulty you were worried about (that you saw in the problem)

I am unemployed too, just as you and for the same length of time. This is more common than you realize today! I am very poor as well.

BUT I AM HAPPY AND HAVE PERFECT PEACE OF MIND, I LEFT A BAD ENVIRONMENT BEHIND AND DECIDED I WOULD NEVER BE UNHAPPY AGAIN, DESPITE POVERTY, AND I AM STILL VERY VERY POOR! MY CIRCUMSTANCES STILL AREN'T THE GREATEST, YET I HAVEN'T HAD A BAD AND UN-HAPPY DAY SINCE LOSING MY JOB. I WILL NOT ALWAYS BE POOR, BECAUSE MY MIND IS DESTINE TO GIVE ME A BETTER LIFE SOMEDAY, I AM IN CONTROL OF MIND WHICH IS ALL THERE IS TO THE MATERIAL WORLD AROUND US, THOUGHTS ARE THINGS GOOD OR BAD!

I WOULD MAKE MY OWN ENVIRONMENT AND MY OWN HAPPINESS. DESPITE THE OBSTACLES.

3 years ago I had a decent job and bought an old trailor to start out in life in.

I thought I had it made, I worked hard, paid cash for it, Then decided since I didn't have an issue with money I would tear it up and re-model it from scratch (i.e. building materials at the time were not an issue for me)

Then like you I lost my Job, I couldn't afford to buy the materials, and I had foolishly torn the heck out of it. Destroying any of its potential value. People thought I was crazy. Looking back, I guess I was. But I did have a slow recovery and a good attitude through the re-building process.

Anyway my point is two of the worst possible things had now happened to me, both of which are now working to my benefit.

1. After tearing the place up and not having any skills to put it back together, the best sheetrocker/carpenter in the entire town, helped me put it back together at a very low cost, he even found throw away materials I needed to do the job, most were free, He only charged me for the labor which was VERY reasonable. By tearing the place up, I discovered something very destressing: water damage to the studs, I was told in a couple of years the trailor would have been condemned. This gentleman fixed that up as well, not only saving my home, from the utter destruction that I might not have even noticed, but increasing the bank value of my home in the process, AND THIS IS THE GOOD THAT CAME OUT OF THE WORST POSSIBLE SITUATION IMAGINABLE, A POSTIVE SEED OF AN EQUAVALENT BENEFIT.

2. I have been un-employed for 3 years, and the jobs in my town are impossible to sustain any form of income. THE ADAVANTAGE HERE IS THAT I HAVE HAD A LOT OF TIME TO PONDER MY SITUATION, This time is perfectly necessary and had literally forced me into finding and going in a new direction. i.e. a home-based business. And I could never have found such a business I had been working solely at my dead-end job of before. EVERYTHING HAS A PURPOSE, A NEGATIVE ONE IF WE SEE IT THAT WAY OR A POSITIVE ONE IF WE CHOOSE TO BE RESOURCEFUL AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM THAT IS IN FRONT OF US.

***I would have NEVER gotten the help on my trailor if I hadn't been un-employed, and been a hardship case. Also I wouldn't have done as well of a job had I been over-welmed with the problem and had gone it alone.

The person that was sent into my life to solve my problem was sent there because my mind was concnetrated on the things I wanted and the persons I needed to get them, not solely on the "problem" itself.

There IS such a thing as MAGIC and it will not work in a negaitve mind.

I firmly believe, that my un-employment will someday be solved, I've tried a few businesses so far, But I really didn't fail as much as I produced I result, or made a distinction to lead me forward to something feasible.

--Keep You Mind on the Things You Want, and OFF of the things you don't!
--Use your imagination and the friendly cooperation of others to get the magic going in your life that you need to move forward.
--Don't Depend on Others, or circumstances to make you happy. Just Decide to be happy instead, And learn what there is good in bad circumstances, usually they are PRICELESS OPPORTUNITIES to move forward.

You are are responsible for your own happiness,
Not you Boss!
Not this Message Board!

Live your life!
Be your own Person!
AND Be happy and positive despite life's obstacles.


Dewey

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: MMario
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 09:17 AM

Pauline - while I can't claim to know you well - I have met you. As a matter of fact - one of the "moments" for me at this year's Getaway was having you come up and greet me and swap a few words. I've seen you play - I've watched you at various workshops and performances - and I'm wishing for you that glow I've seen you get when you sink into the music.

Intellectually I'm sure you know that if the company was losing the contract it has no bearing on you or your work...hopefully you will know that in your heart as well, if not now then soon.

See you in October!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Maryrrf
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 09:21 AM

Been there, done that. It can be very depressing. But in my case just when things looked very bleak a job came through - not the greatest job but the pay is decent and I'm getting back on my feet financially. You will get through this. It's hard to say "enjoy the time off" because you're worried and what money you've got you're afraid to spend - so that limits your activities). Gird yourself up and start looking for another job. You will find something. Meanwhile - know that you aren't alone - lots of us have been in your situation and have come out of it. That's why you're getting such a response to your post. Sending positive thoughts, for what it's worth!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dewey
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 09:43 AM

The following are some great books to develope your Positive Mental Attitude and Problem Solving abilities.

1. Norman Vincent Peale, "The POWER of Positive Thinking"

(Great Book which will show you how to get rid of those knots in your stomach and replace them with peace of mind)

2. Napolean Hill, "THINK and Grow Rich"

(Thoughts are THINGS when mixed with definiteness of purpose and a burning desire to succeed. i.e. your state of mind (organized positive thought suggestion in a spirit of expectancy) triggering your positive pyschic 6th sense which will guide you effortlesslhy toward your goal and the others sympahtetic to your goal. Thoughts begin with your STATE OF MIND. THIS IS A PROFOUND BOOK SECOND ONLY TO THE BIBLE WHEN PROPERLY UNDERSTOOD, THOUGH FEW ACTUAL UNDERSTAND ITS MAGIC AND WISDOM AND SEE IT ONLY AS A PUMP UP BOOK. TOO BAD BECAUSE IT IS USED AND ENDORSED BY BILLIONAIRES AND U.S. PRESIDENT'S WHO IMPLEMENT ITS SECRET FORMULA DAILY!!! (A TRULY LIFE CHANGING BOOK, NOT JUST A BEST SELLER PUMP UP!)

3. Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-cybernetics.

(People cannot change until they change the way they view themselves and heal the emotional scares within them.)

4. Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends And Influence People
(A profound book about Leadership and Spiritual maturity when dealing with others in your home, community and business. Teaches the discipline of showing appreciation, discernment and understanding to those we serve and those who serve us as well, and the value we can place in lasting and enduring friendships.)

These are ALL life changing books that will effect everything from you home and environment and yourself in a most positive way if read with serious conviction and desire to apply them.

Dewey

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 11:11 AM

I'm one of those currently without income and scrambling for another job, but Curmudgeon is currently employed (geez, wouldn't it be nice if we could be employed at the same time?!?) plus he just (as of last week) started collected Social Insecurity. But I've been un- and underemployed when I've been alone, too, (or worse yet, married to my alcoholic ex-husband).

You've applied for unemployment benefits? If they turn you down because you were fired "for cause," fight it. Present your case logically and you'll win.

Like Richard says, "Claim every benefit you can. Pride is for the rich." Do what you have to to keep body and soul together. It IS worth putting up with the bureaucracy and filling out steaming piles of paperwork.

Keep your spirits up!!! Do positive things! Map out your job search. I know it's a heck of a lot more tiring and time-consuming to be looking for work than actually having a job, but ya gotta do it and you've got to do it every day. Find time to learn some new skills, too, if you can. Take advantage of having a, uh, "flexible" schedule. Don't forget to keep in touch with friends. And let them buy you lunch or feed you and tell you about jobs. Let EVERYONE know you're looking.

I got laid off from my comfortable 10-year job four years ago when the economy started going to hell in a handbasket. I'm a graphic designer/digital pre-press production person, etcet etcet and my former employer felt so bad about laying me off they gave me a couple freelance clients on a platter. So I had to buy a new computer (etcet etcet) and set myself up freelance. I also got a part-time job in the industry before they dried up. In the past 4 years I've been putting together a package of part-time (not necessarily in my field or paying what I get when I'm working in my field), freelance (don't forget you have to pay self-employment taxes on this), and temp jobs either through an agency (which specializes in creative jobs, graphics & editorial) or independently hired.

Things work out for the best. Really. I was majorly disappointed in not getting an editorial gig in February with a local publisher (PLUS my major freelance client brought everything in-house). But Tom landed in the hospital in April for major heart surgery and I wouldn't have been able to hold that job and do all the stuff I had to do because he was in the hospital and because we had NO income (other than my $58 week from unemployment), no savings and no insurance. (Talk about steaming piles of paperwork.)

Shortly after Tom could drive again, etc. I got a wonderful temp job. I think both the employer and I fantasized about it becoming permanent, but after the woman I filled in for came back to work and their seasonal rush was over (after 15 weeks instead of the 6-8 they said originally), they didn't have the work to justify keeping me on. However, now they know me and like me and I can fit in seamlessly whenever they need me again.

But now I'm out of work, collected the last two payments on my last unemployment claim (from the part-time job that fired all the part-timers just before Christmas last year) and can't file again until after the first of the year. We're still getting food assistance from the local food pantry, thank goodness. There's a whole bunch of programs we're ineligible for simply because we own a house. (Despite the fact it's falling down around our ears and costs us less in mortgage/taxes/insurance than anything we could rent.)

I know it's hard to "enjoy" having the free time when you're scrambling for enough to pay the rent/phone/electric and food bills. The hardest thing I ever had to learn is not to "worry" about money -- I get "concerned" but not worried. When you need it, it comes. But if you use your time in a constructive, creative, positive way, you're a lot less likely to succumb to depression or feelings of hopelessness. Don't cut yourself off from friends.

I'm full of advice -- now I need to stop reading Mudcat and check my on-line job sources, send out a few resumes, let a few more people on the list know I'm looking again, etc. And cross some more stuff off my DAILY To-Do list (which I make up first thing in the morning, even when I'm working.)

Hope this helps.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: grumpy al
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:03 PM

Hi Pauline,
I was out of work for four years, a while back, I thoroughly enjoyed it! Sure money was very tight but there are always cash in hand jobs about. I know the system has tightened up now but I believe you can still go on training courses and get extra money on the job seekers allowance. So why not have some fun, learn somthing new, maybe, but try and think of a way to turn this bit of bad luck to your advantage.

Good luck and very best wishes
Grumpy

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:33 PM

Thank you all so, so much for your responses. I've found a lot of caring and wisdom here, so much, in fact, that I need time to digest it all. I intend to PM some of you in the near future, but right now I'm overwhelmed with the work of looking for a job and pulling myself together, and I have to pace myself.

As I see things, I can divide my problems into two big categories: finding a job and healing my spirit. Of course, the latter is the more difficult.

There is something I do that fits in both categories: teaching violin. I love it! I get so much positive energy from my students. I love helping people and making them happy through music. I develop some good friendships with my students, and, in the case of the kids, with their families. Besides all this, I get paid. MMario, earlier in this thread, mentioned the glow I get from music. I get it through teaching music, too.

Re job hunting: Teaching violin is my substitute for temping, being a salesgirl at Christmas, and doing other odd jobs. For a day job, I'm a scientist (Ph.D. in biochemistry, many years of experience in toxicology, regulations, writing, etc.). I live in a Maryland suburb of D.C. While I'm looking for a "real job," I want to teach more and to get some experience freelancing in scientific/medical/technical writing and editing. If anyone can help me with leads on freelance writng, I'd appreciate it greatly. I have some chronic, intermittent health problems (asthma, migraines, etc.), so it is hard for me to keep to a rigid job shcedule, and working at home is attractive. Of course, I like being my own boss and doing things the way I like, too.

I don't have a car and I need to get one. Any leads? How about advice on buying a used car?

Healing my spirit is so difficult and so important. I agree completely with the people who have written to say that happiness is really in my own head; that I need to think positive; and that I need to increase the positive energy inside me. Those who have written to me on this thread are helping tremendously with the positive energy. Thank you, thank you.

I have gotten past the acute phase of my depression and now I'm in the hard work and struggle phase. I know that I will need to face disappointment, depression, anger, and loneliness on the road ahead of me, particularly in the (damn) holiday season. Please continue to write to me, if only now and then. I can't tell you what a big help you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: grumpy al
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:39 PM

Hi again Pauline,
Please re read what you have just written, several times if necessary, as you seem to have have just given yourself the answers to your dilema.

luv an stuff
the grumps