BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread

Subject: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 19 May 05 - 05:58 PM

I really think Conway Twitty got his signature growl from learning how to produce, control & employ a good belch. It is a talent few others have honed, but he perfected it. I doubt he would have been a "big" star in country music had he not seen the usefulness of what many consider a crude biological function.

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:11 PM

I find that the price of fish is a good starting point!
Quack!!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:16 PM

Hi Khandu, Hi Geoff. Hi-Jack!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Sleepless Dad
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:17 PM

I'm hear there's been some talk about censorship here at the Mudcat.

And my guitar can beat up your guitar.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bobert
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:19 PM

BUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPP.....


























'xcuse me.....

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:41 PM

Did you know if you delouse a hedgehog it gets withdrawal symptoms?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:50 PM

Slugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:54 PM

Hedgehogs like slugs. And snails.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,fly this thread to cuba
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:59 PM

TITS
LIKE
COCONUTS

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,mrs.tiggywinkle
Date: 19 May 05 - 07:02 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 May 05 - 07:20 PM

Can't believe you mentioned slugs GUEST. I was talking about slugs today with a forest managment specialist. We came to the conclusion that slugs definitely must migrate.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 05 - 07:31 PM

Rustic Rebel,
if slugs do migrate they use my garden as a stopping off point.
hostas yum yum

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 May 05 - 07:35 PM

Slugs can't fly. Ewwwwwwwwwww

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: akenaton
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:03 PM

Guest...ftttc    That was really funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Gonway Twitty
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:21 PM

hey...this was supposed to be about Conway Twitty's belch

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:37 PM

How to hijack a thread:

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:38 PM

wait until it is nearing

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:38 PM

a certain number

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:39 PM

normally a '00

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:40 PM

And wait for flamenco ted to post several times in rapid sucession.

this concludes our object lesson.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Conway Twitty
Date: 19 May 05 - 09:10 PM

hey...this was supposed to be about Conway Twitty's tits

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Gluon the Duck-Dog
Date: 19 May 05 - 09:17 PM


QUARK!!! QUARK!!! QUARK!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 19 May 05 - 09:43 PM

Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread

Strap a few kilos of Semtex to your body. Threaten to detonate it if the thread doesn't go where you want. S'easy. I saw it in a movie.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 May 05 - 09:58 PM

Well, I certainly am not going to hijack this thread. In fact, I'm not even going to post to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:07 PM

Right on, Bruce.

Bruce

Hey, did you ever have crabs?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:18 PM

I never did, but once I had some dinner guests who seemed like never to go home. A few months later I forgot the incident and invited them again. Dang if they didn't do it again.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:27 PM

Are they still at your place, Ebb?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: TIA
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:45 PM

Was the "lojack" intentionally named? Ya know, opposite of "hijack".....?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,The man who knows opposites
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:53 PM

No, the opposite of hijack is byejack or hijill.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:59 PM

I'm not sure, Bill the Collie (is that as in 'collier' or as in 'dog'?) This is a big house and it has occurred to me more than once that I might be sharing quarters with someone unknown or for that matter, known. I always keep an ear out for the flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Shiver Metimbres
Date: 19 May 05 - 11:53 PM

There is nothing more disconcerting than a sudden and unexpected flush of a distant toilet. I shiver just to think of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 May 05 - 12:05 AM

See what I mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: TIA
Date: 20 May 05 - 12:22 AM

I've always pictured a flush toilet as full of paper money.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John O'L
Date: 20 May 05 - 12:56 AM

Stick 'em up!

Everyone lie face down on the floor, and no-one make a move.

You there! Khandu! Take me to the nearest Martin Gibson thread immediately.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:16 AM

And I thought a hot flush was something following a good curry!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:21 AM

It boggles the mind what's on the www.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:46 AM

Speaking of which, what ever happened to him?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:48 AM

I know he passed away, but like Elvis, he's still part of the popular culture. Still on in reruns?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 May 05 - 02:39 AM

I gave a lady friend a case of crabs once.

Not kidding, it was about 4 inches long - a small wooden case with several plastic crabs inside....

I'm not making this up, you know!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: MBSLynne
Date: 20 May 05 - 02:45 AM

Have you ever noticed that some Mudcatters and totally and absolutely barking, up a tree, insane? Funny though.....

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:51 AM

Ruff, Ruff!




Aroooooo!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:58 AM

Bunnahabhain,
             Your multiple posts were way too early to claim a 100th, you tosspot!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Your Son ;-)
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:36 AM

So, how do you thread a hijacket?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:26 AM

I detect a note of thinly veiled anti-Semitism in this thread, you anti-Israeli shitheads.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:37 AM

Troll troll troll yer boat....

Pull your head in, sociopath...

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:38 AM

mention bush, blair, Shatner, or censorship

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Anti-Martin Gibsonite.
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:40 AM

Oh yeah, not all Israelis are Semites.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Your Son ;-)
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:42 AM

Oh Sh**tner...

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:46 AM

bu**sh**

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:12 AM

Mention how liberals are basically responsible for just about everything that's going wrong in your life, in society, in the World, and in the Universe...things like unemployment, higher prices, bad weather, and foot odor. Go on and on about it. Provide reams and reams of detailed statistical information culled from various internet sources to illustrate your point. This will stimulate a lively response from a whole bunch of people who are somewhat more liberal in comparison to you and the thread will spin off into a maelstrom of accusations, personal insults, threats, and innuendos, punctuated by the occasional descent into obscenity and scatological abuse. This is a method guaranteed to turn any thread into a steaming heap within 7 or less posts. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Mmmm pie!
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:21 AM

Me like pie...

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:23 AM

Dammit PIIIIIE!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:03 AM

I got yer PIE for ya!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:58 AM

Damn...somebody has hijacked my thread! So many suspects, but I think it was John O' who did it!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,chilly visitor
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:23 AM

hey, man! Like, I was just walkin' thru this place, and like, somebody hijacked my threads!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:57 AM

That answers Martin Gibson's question from another thread. Saddam doesn't wear underwear.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 20 May 05 - 12:03 PM

If you want to know how to hijack a thread, please send me $19.95 for my special TV offer,

"How to Hijack a Thread and Ruin a Pseuodo-Intellectual's Day"

You will learn secrets I have been honing for many years.

All for $19.95. Operators making doody now.

.............but wait! there's more!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:35 PM

Great thread!

Really

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 May 05 - 02:42 PM

BOOGALAH!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Big Mick
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:16 PM

What a bunch of rookies! Grab yerself a Coke, put a stupid smile on your mug, and go sit in the corner while the Big Mick shows you how it's done.

Ready?

Could someone give me a definition of folk music?

Told ya.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:50 PM

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...

OK. sigh...

Why is it that I have so tenuous a grasp on what is folk that I cannot tell when it is country? I kind of figure that country has repeated choruses and more simplistic form but I don't know that to be true.

So Folk is a ballad that tells a story and is passed down from generation to generation with undetermined origin or author? When do contemporary ballads become Folk? What are those songs called in the meantime?

Country started out as 'hillbilly' music then was called 'Western' music, still later called 'Country and Western' and is currently misnamed 'Country' when it would be more accurately named 'Country Pop' or 'Country Rock'.

Forget I said anything, Big Mick.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 05:55 PM

Listen, Mick, you big Irish [BLEEP for antisocial behavior] - do you really [BLEEP for improper use of the verb 'fucking'] think that anyone gives a flying f*ck [BLEEP for antisocial non-asterised 'u'] about folk music? Why don't you just take your bagpipes and [BLEEP for really antisocial behavior and anatomically impossible suggestion]. And furthermore, [BLEEP for ...you know - whatever]

---

I closed this thread as it's incitement. I then re-opened it because it should never have been closed in the first place. I realized it was just silly fun and not really as evil as it first seemed. My bad. --JoeClone

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:07 PM

The faces of EVIL.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:09 PM

Thanks MG for the word "doody" ... whatever happend to Howdy, he was a hell pf a lot kewler than Telly?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:11 PM

Actually you don't have to hijack a thread, they eventually evolve inot a hijacked situation themselves.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:21 PM

Now see what you started, Mick? Even sucked in Joe O, fer cryin' out loud. (What does that phrase mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:56 PM

Spatulas are the key.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:01 PM

Little Hawk, in reference to your post of 9:12 a.m., I'd like to point out that the correct usage is "turn any thread into a steaming heap within 7 or fewer (not less) posts."

Becky in Tucson

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:05 PM

That's right, Brucie! Spatulas! Even better, spatulas and condoms! Or, better yet, spatulas wearing condoms! No! Wait! Spatulas wearing condoms and socks-with-sandals!



And I thought everybody knew the answer the question, "What is folk music?" Simple! It's music to folk by!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:09 PM

Unless you've been told to go folk yourself. In which case, where does that leave a guy?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:09 PM

GOATS.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:20 PM

Well Done Desert Dancer - Pedantry will almost always hijack a thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:44 PM

GOATS ..... naw, they're kind of ... demonic. Don't want to go there.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,HLW
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:28 PM

The mind of Harry Lee Wigley has been explored ad nauseum, but mere humans have only just begun to make headway into its depths.

This is something with which one may occupy one's mind while one keeps an ear out for the flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:39 PM

"The flush of a distant toilet"...that is one wonderful phrase, enveloping all sorts of imagery!

Longfellow, Poe, Burns...all of them would drool over that phrase. Think of the wistfulness Longfellow could have put in that phrase, or the terror Poe could envoke...I tell you, Ebbie has found a phrase filled with possibilities and...magic!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:52 PM

Not only that, but Ebbie has beat Mr Google. In quotation marks, the phrase appears nowhere on the www.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:04 PM

This ought to hijack the thread, for sure.

Sent to me by a friend.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:05 PM

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:15 PM

The process they use is rapid flash pan freezing. They drop the temperature of the pan down to minus 203C. Then they vacum wrap the inside of the pan with a sheet teflon. Then they rapidly raise the temperature of the pan back to room temperature thus sticking the teflon to the pan. The whole process for one pan takes approximatley 17 seconds.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:20 PM

"The process they use is rapid flash pan freezing. They drop the temperature of the pan down to minus 203C. Then they vacum wrap the inside of the pan with a sheet teflon. Then they rapidly raise the temperature of the pan back to room temperature thus sticking the teflon to the pan. The whole process for one pan takes approximatley 17 seconds."

Who KNOWS this stuff?

OK, number 6. How do they get the caramel inside the Caramilk bar, huh? G'head.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:32 PM

Jeezuz Bruce ... how in the hell would I know that !!!

Subject: The Mother of All BS Thread
From: GUEST,the reluctant prophet
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:37 AM

HA! Every post that has been entered here could have just as well fit in the MOAB thread, and would have made MOAB more entertaining than what it is now. But, NO, you did not post it on MOAB, you chose instead to post here! But what you do not realize, you poor innocent puppets, is that you did post it on MOAB because this thread is MOAB, a "warp" if you will, in the cyberspace bs continuum!! This thread was hijacked the moment it was created by the vacuumous void known as MOAB. You do not believe it?? Well, neither do I, but it IS true!!! LOOK!! LOOK!!! IT WAS ALL A RUSE TO SUCK THE UNSUSPECTING INTO MOAB!!! IT IS TRUE!!

Consider this; this thread was created by Khandu. Think. Who created MOAB?? Coincidence? Not only was this thread & MOAB created by Khandu, HE WAS ALSO THE FIRST TO POST ON BOTH THREADS!!!! Coincidence??

Notice that a slim few of MOAB regulars have posted to this thread. WHY? Because they are posting regularly on MOAB and since this thread is MOAB, they are posting regularly here, so why should they bother to post here? SEE!!! SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!

I AM UNDONE!!! THIS THREAD WAS HIJACKED BEFORE IT WAS CREATED!!! MY HEAD; IT SPINS LIKE A PAIR OF FRILLY LACY PANTIES! I AM UNDONE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:48 AM

"MY HEAD; IT SPINS LIKE A PAIR OF FRILLY LACY PANTIES! I AM UNDONE!!!"

PLEASE, tell us more. OK, just tell ME more.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:30 AM

Moaby Dick, by Herman Mudville.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:04 AM

Pablo Picasso by José Ruis Blasco?

Some of the stuff at:

DOCUMENTACIÓN DEL ESTUDIO

3.- Informe pericial caligráfico (ilustraciones)         doc        217MB
- 8,10,11,12,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,28,29,32,…         jpeg        variable

are quite nice, and at higher resolution than commonly available for early "Picasso" works.

Anybody do a decent Spanish/English translation?

John

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:17 AM

Thank you, thank you. (bowing right and left) I do love the felicitous turn of a phrase and doubly so when I manage one meself. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:37 AM

Notice that a slim few of MOAB regulars have posted to this thread.

As a MOAB regular, I can attest that there is no MOAB regular who goes by the name "Slim Few". Nor, for that matter, is there a MOAB regular who goes by the name of "Dearth".

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 10:30 AM

What makes the pulse to wildly race?
What makes the fevered blood to rush?
What makes the neck's stiff hairs to rise?
The distant sound of the toilet's flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:13 AM

And as I stare into the bowl
And hear the pipes that lightly gush,
I ask where all the lumps have gone?
O distant sound of the toilet's flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:49 AM

But wait, one single turd remains
I poke it gently with a brush
Then button pressed, once more I hear
The distant sound of the toilet's flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,L.C.
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:05 PM

Very nice entries brucie and JennyO, very nice indeed. I would not discourage your poetic endeavors. Yes, they are worthy of praise.

Yet, I must add that something is lost in the paraphrase, though the rhyming is excellent.
" distant sound of the toilet's flush." just does not have the same "uumph" as does "The flush of a distant toilet"
Notice that the arrangement of words in the phrase as you use them is somewhat awkward.

I think the word "distant" is the key here. Its placement is critical for the desired effect. By placing it at the beginning, you have shown your trump card at the onset, thus taking away the joy of the game, so to speak. The five words following the word "distant" actually do not embellish, but rather, detract from the power of the word.

Think of the word "distant" as you would think of Mel carter's saxophone on the version of "Going Home" on "Alchemy", the live album by Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler plays a riff on guitar, which is immediately echoed by Carter on his sax. The marvelous design and mixing on this instrumental gives it an aura that defies space and time and all their restrictions. Carter sounds ten thousand miles away from Knopfler here, yet comes across clear and strong. It is a work of brilliance.

As is "The flush of a distant toilet"

The "distant sound of a toilet's flush" would be Bobert and Martin Gibson playing "Going Home" in their living room on cigar box guitars with rubber band strings.

But pay no attention to my review. I am no poet. My best examples can be found on bathroom walls.

L. Cohen

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:18 PM

All right, Leonard - does this please your ears better?

I dropped the pasta in the pan
All meaning for to boil it
But I was interrupted by
The flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,L.C.
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:23 PM

Excellent!! JennyO. You have risen to the task, as I had no doubt you would! Excellent!!

Poetry such as this may someday gain you the International Lester Cohen Award for Poetry Such As This!

L. Cohen

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:50 PM

Why, thank you Lester (Lester???), from the bottom of my ...er ...um ...heart! I would be deeply honoured to receive the prestigious ILCAfPSAT award. One day it might sit proudly on my mantlepiece beside the Four Legged Emu of the Snalbans TSC award, and the much travelled Gulgong Chorus Cup.

Alas I have to leave this thread
Not wishing I should spoil it
While hearing, on my way to bed
The flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:58 PM

You put long quotes from someone else's thread in italics

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:59 PM

Sign it...... GUEST Shambles

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:59 PM

Then you sneak in with the 100th post, and pretend you are learning the octave mandolin...
Giok ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:59 PM

I knew when first I penned these staves
Some bastard had to spoil it
So I'll no further rhyme upon
The flush of a distant toilet.

But ah, the cord that binds my heart
What wisdom can uncoil it?
the distant sound of highland pipes
The flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Jack Halyard
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:14 PM

The cat has tangled up my legs,
But soon, when I uncoil it,
You'll hear, behind its dying wail,
The flush of a distant toilet.

Go then, my friends, to pen and ink,
be to your keyboard rushing,
I hear upon the distant air,
The sound of toilets flushing.

Alas, some villain spoils the game,
With pedantry insistent.
What matters is the toilet's flush,
and not how you place "distant".

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bill D
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:23 PM

...say, did I ever tell about my hernia operations? Well...when I was in the 5th grade, I....ummmppfff....no! ..wait....ullggg,.....mmmppppff

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:25 PM

Well Jenny dear I'm sorry that, you do not find it funny
But someone had to sneak one in, while you were in the dunny
You know these things cannot be rushed, so what has made you look so flushed?
When you were in there playing the wag, someone came and nicked your swag

Miss Muffet sat upon a tuffet, at least she didn't have to rough it,
In a dunny in the outback, or to share it with a Redback
So if this arachnid you fear to meet, always check beneath the seat.
Over the void your posterior hangs, what a place to sink her fangs
If she chooses the right place, at least you'll die with a smile on your face.

G..

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:37 PM

Both pedantry and poesie
Can set a young maid blushing,
But none can match a job well done
Hark! The sound of toilets flushing.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:44 PM

Diarrhoea I just got a dose of diarrhoea
And suddenly I found, how horrible a sound can be.
Diarrhoea, say it lound and you friends leave rushing,
Say it soft you can hear cisterns flushing.
Diarrhoea; will I never stop going diarrhoea.
All the beautiful sounds of the earth in a single
Phoooaaarrr.

G..

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:48 PM

"Ode on a Toilet (Disguised as a Haiku),"

Sound, toilets flushing.
Swirling waters flow downhill;
Turd's journey begins.

(Damn, that's a work of art!)

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Jack Halyard
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:51 PM

( to be sung to "How can I keep from singing".

The paper's flap at two A.M.
The roar of water gushing,
And ah, how oft I have bemoaned,
The sound of toilets flushing.
But of all distant sounds I hear,
There is no sound to match that-
Of Jenny O's mad laughter to
the gags she reads on Mudcat

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:02 PM

beardedbruce where are you?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:15 PM

Mention was made of something called a sonnet,
And so I thought perhaps I'd venture on it.
And meditate in this cold, early hour,
On distant sounds that yet convey such power.
On clicking keyboards, softly scratching pens,
A distant motor, sounds of roosting hens,
A rooster's crow, the clink of spoon and cup,
The clatter of the midnight washing up.
We here don't flush the loo with folks in bed,
The yellow mellows overnight instead,
And so the famous toilet's distant flush,
Must come from up the road or in the bush.
And so goodnight,I go to seek repose,
And on this theme I shall no more compose.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,flushed with success
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:16 PM

Comfort Stations

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,hi jack
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:21 PM

Question - When you stop composing, do you decompose?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:25 PM

She was in the dunny sending a friend off to the coast!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Jeri
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:49 PM

It's been a year since last I shat
I may never shit again
I have eaten lots of fruit
But the roughage was in vain
For the beans live on the breeze
But wastes my bowels fill
I have eaten too much cheese
And the cheddar haunts me still
I have eaten too much cheese
And the cheddar haunts me still

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 03:02 PM

Oh I just blew in from the windy city
The windy city is mighty pretty
But they ain't got what we got
No Siree.

G.... [With aplogies to DD]

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 03:59 PM

The sound of toilets flushing makes
The common act of sitting art,
For there we find The Thinker who
While shitting cannot help but fart.

Forsooth, the echoes of the throne
Resound and bounce from gush to gush,
For effluence is but the cause
For which we make the toilets flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: kendall
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:09 PM

All animals can swim. even chickens; but, push a Giraffe out of a helicopter and...

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,The Big Guy
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:24 PM

I swear to God...I thought Turkeys could fly!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bill D
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:27 PM

What do you often hear when you first flush in Spring? Turdus migratorius

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: kendall
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:32 PM

Wise saying:

"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself."

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST, Ebbie
Date: 21 May 05 - 06:03 PM

Waaal now. This has taken a different turn from what I was implying. I was trying to get across the alarm one might feel in hearing a toilet that should be silent because, so far as you know, there's no one else in the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 06:08 PM

The Phantom flusher strikes again.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,The Snobbishly Eloquent
Date: 21 May 05 - 07:05 PM

Of course, only you and I (and such) grasp the intricracies of your delicious phrase. The nuances are too subtle for the common ones of this forum.

But, please, do not be distressed. Your phrase has been acknowledged and appreciated by the Elite; and, really, who else matters?

"The flush of a distant toilet"

Oooh, it is almost orgasmic to one's tongue to speak it!

TSE

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 07:32 PM

"Oooh, it is almost orgasmic to one's tongue to speak it!"

I ain't gonna touch THIS line.



Ebbie, please Google

"The flush of a distant toilet"

Be sure to leave the quotation marks on. You are one in over 8,000,000,000.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 May 05 - 07:59 PM

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=de&u=http://www.akkordeon.com/index/squ/de_squ_02_10_25.shtml&prev=/search%3Fq%3DAidi%2Baccordion%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG


Birthday celebration for Myron Floren - the USA
On 3 November will Myron Floren will celebrate its birthday in sausage celebration in new brown rock. All accordionists is to be played cordially invited "Happy Birthday" (in F Dur) for Floren and made music with it to remember and to eat a piece of cakes. It is also counted over 50 accordionists, which will take part on the stage in this fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: frogprince
Date: 21 May 05 - 08:03 PM

You can all go to www.geocities.com/jadelapeer, for all I care.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 May 05 - 08:10 PM

"sausage celebration in new brown rock"   !!!!!!!!

No wait!, there's more.... (from another item)

Doubtless Charles Ives would be delighted.... 200 accordionists each playing their own choice of piece simultaneously...

"The supervisors wish themselves that at least 200 accordionists participate in a parade in 11 June. All accordionists is cordially welcome for this. The participants can play a piece of their own choice and the parade in the roads lain around the theatre will begin. The parade will end before the theatre, where then an opening concert takes place."

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 08:12 PM

Just went. Love the artwork and the photos.

http://www.geocities.com/jadelapeer/?200521

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 21 May 05 - 08:59 PM

"The flush of a distant toilet"

Ebbie, this particular combination of 6 words common English words has never been recorded in history until yesterday, according to Google. I do believe this should be "THE" Mudcat Quotation of Quotations!

I am awed and humble myself in your presence!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:03 PM

" Ebbie, this particular combination of 6 words common English words has never...

khandu, do you speak in this manner redundant manner normally, or, are you doing drugs some good drugs tonight?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:04 PM

Hey, I understood that. Kewl.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:51 PM

What on are you on brucie?

Subject: RE: BS: Hijack for shamless self promotion
From: GUEST,Frogprince
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:51 PM

Thankee, Brucie; if you didn't guess, that's some of my own stuff; there's some music, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,the reluctant prophet
Date: 21 May 05 - 10:07 PM

My god, I am afraid to even look!

...my head,... it rotates swiftly spewing spaghetti sauce and pea soup like
a chinese pinwheel!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:42 PM

Dean, you are a prince indeed. (Ain't too sure about the adjective, but the noun sure fits.) I just went and listened to the melodies and read the words. There is lots of art in you, and I am glad you are sharing it with us. Thank you very very much. Did you study fine art? If all that's God-given talent I am gonna be one envious guy up here in the frozen north.

http://www.geocities.com/jadelapeer/webmadeforeachother1.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/jadelapeer/webmadeforeachother2.jpg

That is a brilliant concept and a beautifl work of art. I am amazed.

AND you write, too. Not only write rhyming 'stuff', but words that reach out and touch the heart. You, sir, have just made my week. Peace, bro, 'cause you da man.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:09 AM

A friend of mine says that I am a mind altering substance.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:13 AM

Robin, your friend is correct.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:19 AM

Please don't eat me!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:30 AM

You need have NO worries about that from me.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:38 AM

Whew!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 May 05 - 04:04 AM

I hear the sound of distant bums.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST, Ebbie
Date: 22 May 05 - 04:43 AM

Dernit. Elegantly Snobbish Guest, if you didn't recognize that it was NOT the phrase that I was pressing but that I was trying to hijack the thread, surely 'tain't my fault.

"The night was dark. One o'clock in the morning and the house stood cold and empty but for me. Half asleep in my big chair in front of Jay Leno I kicked myself upright, deciding that my bed would be more comfortable than sitting here trying to stay awake. As I prepared for bed I wondered where my soon-to-be exhusband was tonight. Not alone, that was for sure. I hadn't seen him in a month and that last meetng hadn't gone well.

"I shrugged and then smiled at the notion of shrugging when there was none to see. I pulled back the covers. I froze. Somewhere deep in the house a toilet had flushed."

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 May 05 - 05:02 AM

Could be one of them flushes you get when you get to the chain of life.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 May 05 - 06:56 AM

Giok, You're pullin' my ...er, leg, surely.


And stop yer ticklin' Giok!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,The Snobbishly Eloquent
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:01 AM

Dernit, Ebbie, if you didn't recognize that it was NOT the phrase that I was pressing but that I was trying to hijack the thread, surely 'tain't my fault.

Most nights are dark. A big chair in front of Jay Leno, He trips over it constantly. I often kick myself upright when I am half asleep. I have many self-inflicted bruises. My bed often sits here, trying to stay awake, I am concerned about its comfort. My soon-to-be exblah blah blah...
There are notions of shrugging hiding in the house, you cannot see them, but I smilled at one anyway, in case one was watching me.

I pulled back the covers, still didn't see and notions of shrugging. I froze. I realized the little buggers were hiding in the basement bathroom again, when I heard "The Flush of a Distant Toilet!"

TSE (copyright1952Rent-A-Buzzard Enterprises)

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:09 AM

How original, Martine. Is it all your own work?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Charley Noble
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:56 AM

I'm pleased that someone whose name I will not reveal pointed out that this thread needed to be accessed and appreciated. No, I will not expose her name for the inevitable redicule but a phrase she posted:

"the cheddar haunts me still"

also deserves to be expanded upon, or at least shredded and rolled up in an omlet.

Sorry, I'm feeling a strong need to revisit the kitchen which in our apartment is close to where "The sound of a distant toilet" might flush.

Did you know, you can also flush pheasants? Some even engage dogs to assist in the process. There's probably a song about to be born!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, always the last to find an interesting thread and end it by posting

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Mr Knowingly
Date: 22 May 05 - 12:40 PM

How Noble of you, Charlie, to not reveal the name of your source.
Indeed, "The Cheddar Haunts me Still" is a clever turn, worthy of note. It seems to be a derivitive of an old Kentucky murder song called "Chester Haunts my Still", which is still played by various obscure musicians in the Wallins Creek area of Harlan County. A similar tune, which was born in the 1930's, is "Lester Taunts Me Still". It is also a murder song, whose melody is loosely based on "Chester Haunts...".

Interestingly, the actual murder of Lester was a copycat murder of the actual Chester murder, of which was written "Chester Haunts...". Some humorous soul decided to write a copycat song (Lester Taunts...) of a copycat murder. I believe one of these was performed by Wiley and Zeke Morris.

The murder of Chester near Harlan, Kentucky supposedly took place around 1890. Chester Dowell was murdered by "Judge" Ball, who was not a judge. Ball was a moonshiner whose daughter was involved with Chester. Ball told authorities the location of a still, which was, in fact, one of Ball's stills. Ball had sent Chester to tend the still that day, knowing that the "revenoors" would raid it. As Ball had hoped, Chester Dowell was killed defending the still.
Though the killing of Dowell was a legal act, the locals knew he was murdered by Judge Ball, who used the law as his murder weapon.

The murder of "Lester" was similar, but different. I'll tell it later, if any are interested.

Both songs are worthy of a listen, though I do not know where they may be found. My dad had them when I was a child, but the recordings have been long lost.

MK

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 May 05 - 12:51 PM

And I love you still
Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 22 May 05 - 12:56 PM

Ya gotta admit that we're all jealous here. I mean, Ebbie has come up with a phrase that deserves a place in Mudcat history.

"I always keep an ear out for the flush of a distant toilet."

Pure art.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:01 PM

brucie, what an original idea! Where do you get them?








Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu - PM
Date: 21 May 05 - 08:59 PM

"The flush of a distant toilet"

Ebbie, this particular combination of 6 words common English words has never been recorded in history until yesterday, according to Google. I do believe this should be "THE" Mudcat Quotation of Quotations!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:11 PM

"brucie, what an original idea! Where do you get them?"

Got it from this post. NOTE THE TIME.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: brucie
Date: 21 May 05 - 07:32 PM

Ebbie, please Google

"The flush of a distant toilet"

Be sure to leave the quotation marks on. You are one in over 8,000,000,000.

I bow to Ken's post. However, note the times.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:13 PM

The flush of a distant toilet can be enough to send one around the bend....or even two or three. Is it just a flash in the pan? I ask myself or will it create a chain reaction?.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:30 PM

When I did the Google on Ebbie's phrase I was gratified to see that she and she alone held a place on the www for the only one of its kind--thus, 1 in 8,000,000,000. Got it, GUEST?

However, I was wrong. It was actually 1 in 8,058,044,651 web pages. Got it, GUEST? Next time do your homework.

Great one, Ebbie. I'm outta here.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:31 PM

Post directly above this was me.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bill D
Date: 22 May 05 - 01:43 PM

however,"The distant flush of a toilet" gets two hits....

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 May 05 - 02:03 PM

hahhaha OK- How about another example of hijacking?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 22 May 05 - 02:27 PM

"the cheddar haunts me still" gets abosolutely no hits an Google! Hmmm..

Guest who chided brucie,
Indeed, it was brucie who first discovered the rarity of "the flush of a distant toilet". In fact, I Googled the phrase because of brucie's post. I was so impressed that I posted the message that you later pasted.

Do try to keep things straight..it makes you imbecilic taunts so much more valid!


Ebbie, HA! I fear you shall never hear the end of the flush from a distant toilet!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 03:13 PM

Ken, you got class. Thank you. However, it just goes to show that great minds think alike. The awesomenessedness of this thread started by YOU has led to a literary phrase that will live in Mudcat history--and hopefully in Mr Google history. However, I don't doubt that poets who scour the web for ideas will stumble across Ebbie's "the flush of a distant toilet" and wonder exactly what she's saying. As an astute poster noted, Poe would have given van Gogh's ear for the phrase; The Bard would have given his best bed to claim ownership. Some people just have greatness thrust upon them.

When she wrote that here (tfoadt), the thing would not leave me alone. It is at once noble and yet--what? Thomas Crapper would have been proud to claim that phrase for his plumbing business. NASA--well, who knows? "One small step for man and . . . what's that? It's the flush of a distant toilet!" Egads.

To the clones: would it be possible to enshrine this phrase in a thread--one frozen in time? Perhaps Ebbie could start a thread so entitled and In the thread there would be but ONE post: that post would read, "The flush of a distant toilet". Then the thread could be closed for time immemorial. What do ya say? Huh? PLEASE, with sugar on it? I won't swear for a whole week, promise.

Bruce M

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 May 05 - 03:44 PM

"It was a dark and stormy night" Egads. I have joined the society.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 22 May 05 - 03:59 PM

I, Ken of the khandu, give the loud "AMEN!!" to brucie's suggestion.
I believe that Ebbie should do as brucie says, create the tread with "The Flush of a Distant Toilet" title, and as the opening post (or perhaps including the entire sentence of this rare jewel!). Then Ebbie should signal to Joe Offer to immediately close the thread (Of course, Ebbie should "ready" Joe beforehand!).

This will do two important things. It will forever establish Ebbie as the creator of the phrase, (and would, I believe, stand up in court, should the need arise!) and it will give the wonderful phrase its own distinct and greatly deserved place in the Hallowed Halls of Mudcat.

So, I trust that you, Ebbie, are already in conference with Joe Offer concerning this noble & worthy endeavor!

Ken

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 04:10 PM

"I won't swear for a whole week, promise."

Not even at those BNP bastards.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: bobad
Date: 22 May 05 - 04:33 PM

Here's hoping Joe doesn't decide to sit on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 22 May 05 - 04:40 PM

Maenwhile, Mr. Knowlingly, I have googled "Chester haunts my still" & "Lester taunts me still" & have found nothing!!

Of course, I know of the Morris Brothers, but there seems to be no record of their doing either of these songs.

Either you have presented us with a wonderful but bogus tale, or you are the only one we know of that has any info regarding these songs.

Your story about Ball & Dowell sounds to true to have been made up, so I am going on the assumption that you are not pulling legs here.

You said you would share the info concerning the killing of Lester if any are interested. I am.

So do tell!

ken

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST, puss
Date: 22 May 05 - 06:10 PM

so Khandu has a haunted still? With spirits in it?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 May 05 - 08:32 PM

Those of you who have taught their cat to use the toilet, including teaching it to flush, will be aware that it may not always be a human influence that causes one to hear 'The Flush of a Distant Toilet'.

The bored clever little buggers sometimes decide at 3 am that it will be amusing to flush it several times....

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:13 PM

terrorists or insurgents, either way, they suck. fuck 'em

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:15 PM

Hours have passed as I await the response from our guest, Mr. Knowingly. I am a patient man.

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:44 AM

Just popped back into the Mudcat to look something up and thought, what the hell - why not see who's here these days. Same old cast of characters!

Hello, Martin Gibson, glad to see you - I'm sure I'll be back again for one thing or another in a few months or so - see you then - Suzanne

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:49 AM

I'd be sorry your stay was so brief, but I know what the B stands for. Please do visit again in a year when the place could stand a cleaning, because it alweays needs one after you visit. Ta ta.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:14 AM

Where Napoleon met his Waterloo.

Giok

[Ballcocks to you too!]

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 May 05 - 06:21 AM

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery..

"The night was dark. Guantanamo Bay is no picnic. One o'clock in the morning and the prison stood cold and empty but for me. Half asleep in my big chair in front of CNN I kicked myself upright, deciding that the couch would be more comfortable than sitting here trying to stay awake. As I prepared for bed I noticed that all the prisoners were quiet tonight. Not happy, that was for sure. We had been desecrating the Koran today and there had been a lot of screaming prisoners. Just one prisoner was missing. I hadn't seen him since dinner time and that last meetng hadn't gone well. He had told me that I would be flushed like the proverbial Koran.

"I shrugged and then smiled at the notion of shrugging when there was none to see. I put my feet up. I froze. Somewhere deep in the guard house a toilet had flushed."

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 23 May 05 - 06:07 PM

Hi and bye SueB. too bad you couldn't stay and hang out.

BTW,

terrorists or insurgents, either way, they suck. fuck 'em

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 May 05 - 08:22 AM

When the Queen has a crap does she do a royal flush?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 24 May 05 - 10:31 AM

When the King shows his ass, is that considered a Royal Flash?

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 May 05 - 10:53 AM

I find it useful when faced with upper class twits, snobs etc to imagine them sitting on the loo with their drawers round their ankles, it is after all true that even they must shit and pee like the rest of us ordinary folks. Don't forget that even the Queen's finger must go through the toilet tissue sometimes.
That's my philosophical thought for today.
Giok ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 24 May 05 - 10:57 AM

"The Queen farts and wipes her arse,
Her private parts are working class."

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:22 PM

some of Mudcat's finest pseudo intellectuals can sure stink up a bathroom.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Jaysus! Pull the chain!
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:49 PM

But nobody can't stink up a whole website like the resident moron.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:03 PM

Is this Hi-jack or Hi-jinks? I ask myself.
This is now my thread and I will do with it as I please and you will all conform to that. You will reply to this in your way at my will!!!!
So Go for it!!
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:05 PM

I hear the sound of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:09 PM

Arrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I hear the flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:10 PM

Well, I hear the flushing sound of the flush of a distant far-away toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:20 PM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGggg,,,,,,.....

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:24 PM

Hmmmm, maybe I was not correct...actually, I
hear the noise of the flushing sound of the flush of a distant far-away toilet.

Yeah, that's what I hear!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Metchosin
Date: 24 May 05 - 07:34 PM

Hey, my little girl is going to play Fucking the Lieutenant and When Monkeys Rule The Planet at an invitation only concert with Randy Bachman of BTO fame on June 19th.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 May 05 - 03:17 AM

Well.....I may not know how to hijack a thread on a folk music forum, but I've found a surefire way to kill one. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:14 AM

I've just had a worrying thought -

is it kosher for a Jewish footballer to pull a hamsstring?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:10 PM

Jewish football players do not have hamstrings.

They injure their kishkas or gderims.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:53 PM

Right.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:54 PM

Thanks for agreeing. I knew you had it in you.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 May 05 - 01:41 PM

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Allen
Date: 25 May 05 - 02:32 PM

Khandu, oughtn't you to have asked this on a different thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:37 PM

Apparently Khandu can't do.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: jpk
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:52 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: jpk
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:52 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: jpk
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:53 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 25 May 05 - 06:09 PM

Allan, if you are Allan C, then you are the creater of one of the most wonderful posts on Mudcat :


Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Allan C.
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:41 PM

Not to burst your bubble, Khandu, but this has been tried before with such things as birthdays, welcome-to-new-members, remarks from trolls, and a few others - always with rapidly diminishing results.

Just how big was that bubble anyway?


And, indeed, that thread (MOAB) has been hijacked hundreds of times...hijackers hijacking from hijackers hijacking from hijackers...

Now, if you are not Allan C, then you have posted the 2nd MWP on Mudcat, very subtle indeed!

jpk, you'll have to type a little luder, my ears aren't what they used to be!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 May 05 - 10:26 PM

Afferbeck Lauder.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 May 05 - 10:31 PM

Harry Lauder.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: frogprince
Date: 25 May 05 - 10:36 PM

Louder'n' Wainwright III.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 May 05 - 10:50 PM

Ya'll Afferbeck Lauder, I can't hear ya.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 May 05 - 11:49 PM

Nobody's Louder'n Wainwright III.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Metchosin
Date: 26 May 05 - 12:52 AM

Sure there are some! Why only last week I attended a punk rock show and my head and body is still vibrating.....and I had ear plugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 May 05 - 01:50 AM

"I attended a punk rock show"

Next question: Why??

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Metchosin
Date: 26 May 05 - 02:36 AM

You'd have to go to my up thread posts Ebbie. Actually, I like their stuff, its not exactly hard core, but when they are not the first band on stage, sometimes ya gotta suffer a little bit and sometimes hang about in some very odd places. And you do stick out like a sore thumb. I don't think I could get a stud even through my ear anymore, without some bloodletting, so I'm not about to try. LOL.

So far most of the "kids" that I have met at such venues are really very kind and friendly. Both my daughters are musicians and we've always maintained an interest in their stuff, no matter where the "muse" has taken them.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Bunnahabhain, via back door
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:20 AM

Don't worry about it. Just sit back and let the tread drift take it to something totally diffrent, but just as interesting. Far easier than hijacking...

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 26 May 05 - 11:52 AM

JOHN D. LOUDERMILK

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 May 05 - 12:13 PM

Hamilton C-amp.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bill D
Date: 26 May 05 - 12:21 PM

"Maggie Lauder"

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 May 05 - 12:29 PM

Nicki Lauda

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Metchosin
Date: 26 May 05 - 12:40 PM

Ahhh, the flush is silenced......

To all shit house poets
When they die
May there be erected
Broad and high
A striking symbol
Of their wit
And fair well built
Of solid shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 26 May 05 - 07:18 PM

Woe unto he whose poetic endeavors are spawned by the smell of shit.

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 May 05 - 12:13 PM

When you enter this great marble hall
Use the paper not the wall
If you cannot find the paper
Behind the pan you'll find a scraper.

G..