BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST,Jack
Date: 22 Apr 06 - 02:51 PM

Hello again folks.

I have read so many Errol biographies over the years that I can't be 100% sure which piece of info comes from which source, but I'll give you a list which will hopefully help a bit. Among the most memorable bios are Michael Freedland's "The Two Lives of Errol Flynn", Charles Higham's "Errol Flynn: The Untold Story", Lionel Godfrey's "The Life and Crimes of Errol Flynn", Gerry Connelly's "Errol Flynn in Northampton", John Hammond Moore's "The Young Errol Flynn Before Hollywood", Don Norman's "Errol Flynn: The Tasmanian Story", Earl Conrad's "Errol Flynn: A Memoir", Tony Thomas' "Errol Flynn: The Spy Who Never Was", Buster Wiles' "My Days with Errol Flynn" and Thomas/Behlmer/McCarty's "The Complete Films of Errol Flynn". Not completely Flynn-based but still worth a read for related info is Kenneth Anger's "Hollywood Babylon Parts 1 & 2", David Niven's "Bring On the Empty Horses", James Robert Parish's "Hollywood Bad Boys – Loud, Fast and Out of Control", Paul Young's "L.A. Exposed: Strange Myths and Curious Legends about the City of Angels" (which contains a section called Hung Jury where the author lists 50 well-endowed stars), Mitchell Symons' "The Celebrity Sex List Book" and Amy & Irving Wallace's "The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People" (hey, you asked – lol). In his comically sleazy book "Penis Size and Enlargement", Gary Griffin devotes a chapter to "Well-endowed Celebrities" – a who's who of penis size in Hollywood, and of course Errol's 11-incher is top of the list. Also worth watching if you ever come across them are Channel 4's "Secret Lives" (1996) and TCM's "The Adventure of Errol Flynn" (2004). But my personal favourite remains Errol's own posthumously released 1959 autobiography "My Wicked, Wicked Ways" – a fascinating, very funny, intelligent and articulately written memoir that I'd highly recommend to any fan who hasn't already read it.

In 2000, Marlene Dietrich biographer David Bret wrote a pretty controversial unofficial bio called "Errol Flynn: Satan's Angel", which is chock-full of lewd innuendo and salacious hearsay – it tells of how he "allegedly" liked to turn his back on director Michael Curtiz in front of the entire cast and "loudly break wind" (which the young Olivia de Havilland apparently found hilarious, p. 42), how he had same-sex encounters with actors Bruce Cabot, Helmut Dantine, Tyrone Power and Rory Calhoun as well as numerous female co-stars (e.g. Hedy Lamarr, Doris Duke, Barbara Hutton, Shelley Winters, Gloria Vanderbilt, Greer Garson, Lupe Velez), and that he enjoyed masturbating in omelettes which he then served to his houseguests (p. 159)! It also mentions an anecdote which was later confirmed as true – that Errol had the make-up team on The Adventures of Don Juan mold him a giant, lifelike prosthetic willy which he would regularly shock crew members with by sticking it through his unzipped fly as though it were his own willy. "Satan's Angel" is seen as the most tacky and perhaps unreliable biography, but it is nonetheless fun to read, and often laugh-out-loud funny.

I've read countless other tall tales of his outrageous practical jokes in the other bios too – that he masturbated on Hollywood gossip columnist Hedda Hopper's doorstep before asking "Will you invite me to come here again?"; that he once planted a dead snake in Olivia de Havilland's leggings "for fun" (something de Havilland has since confirmed as absolutely true several times over); that he kept a mural in his home of fish performing the Kama Sutra; that he owned a huge armchair which turned into an inflatable penis when sat on; that many of his personal possessions, such as bookshelves and cigarette lighters, were shaped like genitals; that his yacht Sirocco was such a hotbed of sexual activity that he frequently flew a flag reading "FFF" – short for "Flynn's Flying Fuckers". Another anecdote that appears to be true is that during his heavily alcoholic later years, when he was banned from drinking on film sets, he spiked oranges with vodka and eat them during his breaks! One last thing: if you go to http://www.anecdotage.com and do a search on "Errol Flynn" you'll find countless funny anecdotes on his life, though one can't vouch for their authenticity.

Oh, and there have been no comments yet on my pic of Errol in tights with a pet monkey! Are you just jealous or was it just so disturbing that you've erased it from your memories? Haha.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 06 - 09:43 PM

Holy crap! I might have known...

I read "My Wicked, Wicked Ways" and it was a very entertaining book. What a character. He was definitely the greatest film swashbuckler of all time.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Apr 06 - 12:14 AM

That thorough answer then begs the question--what sparked all of the interest in Errol Flynn, or is this a portion of a knowledge base based on Hollywood? That's an impressive list of readings. Sounds like there's a lot about Flynn to get a rise out of readers. . .

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 24 Apr 06 - 05:51 AM

And how come nobody ever does that for a floor spot?

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 06 - 11:38 AM

Poor chap. It appears from the monkey picture that Errol's portubance was in the middle of his left leg.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST,Pashdear
Date: 24 Apr 06 - 04:10 PM

Speaking of old Errol Flynn movies on TCM, did anyone see The Adventures of Don Juan this past Saturday afternoon? Great fun romp for swashbuckler fans, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw the size of the package in Errol's skintight leggings. How the hell did the censors let them get away with showing such obvious dick outline? Pretty obscene. I actually feel a bit sorry for Errol having an 11 inch willy - it can't have been too much fun to haul around or have to strap it down to your leg!

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST,Sean
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 12:13 PM

Wow, that's a very hot pic of Errol's big bulge with the monkey!

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 06:37 PM

Guess he liked monkeys.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: number 6
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 09:19 PM

Hey Chongo ... Errol Flynn's over there and I hear he has a big banana

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 11:27 PM

Somewhere out there, there is a recording called, "Songs of Custer and the 7th Cavalry". I know because I have heard it. It includes Gary Owen as well as Captain Jinx of the Horse Marines sung by a very clear and pure soprano.
Last year, 2005, I danced with the Lakota at the Custer Street Fair in Evanston Illinois.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Dec 06 - 12:31 AM

From the Custer Museum

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:01 PM

There is also an outfit called Custer's Last Band that plays the music and arrangements of Felix Vinatieri, Custer's band leader. The band was left behind at the Yellowstone, so Vinatieri survived to eventually produce a great-great (I forget how many greats) grandson named Adam who will be known to you football fans.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:14 PM

He was a mass murderer.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:19 PM

And he got what he had coming to him.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 07:16 PM

I suppose it was the fault of when he was a kid, people were cruel to him and said, here comes old rhubarb and custer.....

One day someone wearing a loincloth, or living in wigwam did that very thing.....almost inevitably he was scarred for life.

I believe he was coming to terms with his disability when history intervened so cruelly. I bet they would have sung songs about what he did for race relations with native Americans.

His willy is long
His coat is blue
he's the Indians pal
yahoo! Yahoo!
His name was George
How he must have felt cursed
But if his first name had been rhubarb
It might have been worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: GUEST,A Good Day to Dick.
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 12:50 PM

Damn! Damn! Damn!
Read all the way down here only to find that GUEST Jack , eventually, gave us the "make-up department's prosthesis" story, which I'd hoped to give a laugh with. According to what I heard, EF used to greet various people - actors, extras, drinking buddies - in his caravan on set, wearing just a towel round his waist as if he'd just got out of the shower, and after a while "accidentally" let the towel slip, to reveal his Little Big Horn; according to one story, Jack Warner saw the offending member and said, "Give me a few slices of that..."

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 12:13 AM

I dunno, GUEST,Jack. That snake 'n' eggs shot of Errol looks kinda doctored. The old swashbuckler isn't showing much of note in this one. Sort of looks like a Sears catalog shot. But he looks scared and maybe it's doing the "turtle" thing.

Errol shows a bit more in this picture.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 12:15 AM

Errol Flynn dreams.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 12:52 AM

Just had to check in to keep an eye on old Errol's Willy...

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 11:12 AM

Better wash that eye. No telling what you might catch.

Subject: RE: BS: Errol Flynn's willy and General Custer
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 07:42 PM

Eye, Eye, Captain!