BS: Time for even greater heresy!

Subject: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: GUEST,One who dares to speak out...
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 11:14 PM

William Shatner is a lousy singer.

There, I said it. He is. Matter of fact, he can't sing at all. His acting is also really, really the pits. He's dreadful. He couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. He is totally lacking in sex appeal. He's a jerk. He's fat and bloated and mostly bald. That hair isn't really his. The other people on Star Trek couldn't stand him because he's pompous and self-absorbed. He got out-acted by Tribbles and a guy in a rubber lizard suit. He cheated on his college exams. He's a complete phony who ought to be washing dishes, not addressing Star Trek conventions. He does cereal ads because he has no class. He'll do anything for money. Anything. Trust me. Every heard his "I Am Canadian" rant? Well, that story about the Mexican girl is probably true. Every word of it. This man is SICK!

And he can't sing.

That's all I have to say.

I feel...so unburdened. I dared to speack the unspeakable. I am FREE! Ha! Ha! Free, I tell you! I, Sam Lowenbach, have at long last dared to speak out and I AM FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 11:34 PM

*grin*..."free" is relative. Shatner still makes a good living parodying himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 11:41 PM

You're hurting, aren't you, Sam? You need to talk to some people who can straighten you out on this stuff. It's normal for people who've had disappointments in life to feel insecure in the presence of greatness. Trust me on this. Many of us have gone through it ourselves before we got to a point where we could see clearly. You don't have to feel alone, Sam! Pick up your phone now, Sam, and give the WSSBA emergency switchboard a call at 1-800-SHATNER. We can help you, Sam. Call us now.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 12:14 AM

Little Hawk:

You're talking to yourself again, aren't you?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: number 6
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 12:19 AM

Orillia always did have a bad water supply.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 03:29 AM

And apparently not much to do.


Watched Shatner in an old made-for-TV production of "Hound of the Baskervilles" today made back in `72. Stewart Granger played Sherlock Holmes and the Shatman was the big villiam, Stapleton. Shatner also played the evil Baskerville ancestor who started the curse. You had to see Overkill Bill in a long black wig and big beard and trying to sound like Brian Blessed. Classic Shat attack in the overacting department of course. It was so bad, I loved it.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 08:37 PM

Heh! Man, I have not seen that one. Sounds great. Gotta get me a copy soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Naemanson
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 08:51 PM

There is an old western, I think it's called 'The Outrage' or something like that. It's a remake of the Akira Kurosawa movie 'Rashoman'. Shatner plays a preacher. It doesn't require much in the way of acting skills so it was a good role for him. Neat movie. Best viewed if you are familiar with Rashoman.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 10:09 PM

I'll just bet you that Bill feels the same way about Sam Lowenbach.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 10:23 PM

Bill has spoken to me about Sam Lowenbach. He feels truly sorry for Sam. He hopes that Sam will get over his displaced anger, get therapy, and get to the bottom of what is really bothering him which is no doubt issues going back to his childhood.

"You know," he said to me, "it's chastening to see what an effect one's career can have on certain...vulnerable people. It reminds me of the awesome responsibility that rests upon my shoulders every time I appear onscreen or onstage or on a recording or at a convention... There are people out there, little people like Sam Lowenbach, sensitive people who for reasons best known to themselves place great importance on what I say, how I comb my hair, what shirt I choose to wear, and other seemingly trivial things like that. I feel for those people, I really do. I have to keep reminding myself that I am serving as an example for some, as a bete noir for others, and that this makes it incumbent on me to do the very best I can to take what I would call...the 'high road'. And that's what I do. You will find no gratuitous sex scenes in any Shatner film. Never. And no truly gratuitious violence either. I'm totally against that. I'm for people being nice to each other. I think Sam Lowenbach just needs someone to be nice to him, and he could gain a whole new outlook on life. Either that or....(he looks aside and chuckles, looks back at me)...he needs to get a life!"

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:18 AM

I suppose when you're advertising All Bran, you choose some with a proven track record of producing a lot of shit.

There must be some reason why that git in glasses has never invited Bill for a session In the Actor's Studio - giving advice on how to say, Warp Factor Ten! (firm, crisp and authoritative!)

Imagine it

Hi Bill! I'm Jasmin. I'm a second year actor....
Hi Jasmin!
Bill, when you were invaded by Klingons and they had a special ray gun that took the Starship Enterprise to an alien time zone, where everybody dressed like in Wyatt Earp movie....where did you find that special place within yourself to react to the situation?

it'll never happen

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:37 AM

I knew a guy who was invaded by Klingons, but he got some Blue Ointment that fixed him right up.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: GUEST,AR282
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 12:55 PM

>>Orillia always did have a bad water supply.<<

FYI, smarty-pants, Shatner is from Rigel 4!!

God, how I loathe posters who pretend to know something about Shatner when it is obvious they know nothing. NOTHING!!!

He comes from Rigel 4 and his family was killed by Kodos the evil ruler who later fled Rigel 4 and became a famous intergalactic character actor of great renown. But Shatner triumphed over him by being a regular while Kodos only had a bit part in one episode and got killed by his own daughter (ouch!).

Don't make have to straignten you out again. Learn your Shatner before you come in here talking Shatner!

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: GUEST,AR282
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 12:58 PM

>>Shatner still makes a good living parodying himself. <<

He stole that from George Hamilton who is frankly much better at it. Shatner needs to go back to overacting in dramatic roles in which he excels.

Subject: RE: BS: Time for even greater heresy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 01:53 PM

Definitely.