BS: It's been 3 years

Subject: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Raptor
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 06:27 PM

It's been 3 years since the death of my wife today and I think I'm alright, Although very intoxicated with the help of the fine foks at kittling ridge distilaries!

I want to thank all of you who gave me words of encouragement when I was at my saddest and those who helped me deal, even those who bussied me with arguements.
Thank all of you for this discussion board.

RaPtor

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 06:28 PM

Stay strong, man. Stay strong.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: freightdawg
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 06:51 PM

Sorry to hear, especially this time of year. I'm not sure the pain ever really decreases, but the warm memories seem to increase and on whole the process of getting on gets easier.

Blessings on you, Mr. Raptor.

Freightdawg

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 07:15 PM

Good luck with the healing process. It's a long road.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Divis Sweeney
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 07:20 PM

Buddy you have memories and no one can ever take them away from you.
Reflect on your time together and you know she would want you to be strong.
You take care
Divis

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Desdemona
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 07:32 PM

I am really sorry to hear of your loss...it seems disrespectful to mouth platitudes about time healing wounds, etc. All I can say is that if you can try to be here now and get what you can from the things that make you happy, you're doing what you can.

Peace,

~D

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 07:39 PM

It is good to note these times, I believe. Another Mudcatter lost her dad, two years ago, yesterday, and tomorrow marks the second anniversary of my dad's passing. Just today I put on some Christmas music and my three year old grandson had to give me a hug and ask me "what's happenin'?" because I broke down and cried from missing both of my parents so much.

This place is incredible in its support of any of us when going through such loss. Thanks, Raptor, for saying it, again.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 07:52 PM

Raptor, I lost my first wife 14 years ago and my second one July 4 of this year. I believe I'll have a drink with you.

I won't say it gets better with time, but it does get less bad. You are moving away from the stimulus of your pain. You will survive it and even, perhaps, allow yourself to love again.

PM me if you like. It can be nice to talk to someone who "gets it" and is walking a similar path.

Jeff

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Bobert
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 08:15 PM

10 years, 1 month, 3 weeks and 4 days for me...

Judy: Born 2/29/44
      Died 10/2/96

Wish I had a Mudcat at the time 'cause it was sho nuff a terrible thing to go thru and in the year preceeding ther death lots of family and friends came visitin' and then she died and it was, like, no one... Just an empty house, empty bedroom, empty kitchen, empty, empty, empty...

Yeah, Raptor, you know what I mean inspite of Mudcat so I fully understand how grateful you are for these folks... Heck, when Judy died, she had a computer in the house and I din't even so much as know how to turn the danged thing on...

But this ain't no thread 'bout that kinda stuff...

Hang in there...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 08:20 PM

Hugs to Raptor, and all the rest of you too.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 08:34 PM

Good for you, Raptor.When in doubt, lean on friends.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Raptor
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 08:40 PM

Holy Fuck I just got off the phone with an old friend that I haven't seen since Heide's Wake. He called to tell me that our mutual friend John who was not only and amasing sax/ Bass/ guitar player but my real estate agent killed himself buy exost fumes from his car.

Talk about timing.

I need to sober up.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 09:31 PM

I'm so sorry.

What a puny little four letter word sorry is. But I mean it.

I wish I could say more. I lost my best girl friend three year ago right before Thanksgiving and my father died thirteen years ago on my birthday which is coming up soon.

Sometimes, life is more than a notion...

If it helps, at least you have company in your misery.

And when things get better, you'll have company on Mudcat then too.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 09:34 PM

Yeah okay sorry is a five letter word but it sure as heck feels like a four letter word to me

and I hope that accidental mistake made you smile just a little.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Deckman
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 09:35 PM

Stay the course ... it's best for you. Bob

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 09:39 PM

Keep on going Rap. Sorry to hear about your friend, especially at such a sensitive time for you.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 10:37 PM

Well, I think you've handled it well, Raptor. Better than many would. So do like Mr Bob says and "keep on keepin' on". Just think, man, you're 20 years younger than me! That, in itself, is reason to celebrate... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 12:09 AM

Raptor, I remember when you first posted the sad news about your wife, and I remember the huge change that came over you after all of that. You've grown tremendously as you've worked through her loss. I'm sorry to hear about your being blindsided by your friend's suicide. Just because you're learning to deal with death and grief doesn't mean you necessarily want to prove it.

Meanwhile, I think some of your robins have arrived in Texas. Last week I was sitting in my back yard and all of a sudden I realized the yard was filled with red-breasted thrushes I haven't seen since last spring, poking through the lawn for worms and bugs, and I thought about your bird watching challenges. You've found some great outlets for your creative energy. Keep moving forward.

Maggie (SRS)

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Partridge
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 01:26 AM

Sorry to hear about your friend, suicide is so sad for those who do it and those left behind with all the questions.
Anniverseries of deep loss come whether we want them or not, I had one yesterday and for the most part I remembered happy things, had a few tears too.
The mudcat is a great help, special friends who support us when we cry out.
Thinking of you,
love
Pat xx

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Azizi
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 03:03 AM

Raptor, I woke up with this blended verse from two religious songs on my mind:

"I do not know how long 'twill be
Nor what the future holds for me

[But] If I can help somebody as I travel along
Then my living will not be in vain

**

This helps me. I don't know if this helps you or others going through difficult times. But I'm posting it in case it does.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: fat B****rd
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 04:37 AM

All of the above ands best regards from Charlie S.

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Jeanie
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 06:11 AM

Good thoughts heading your way from the UK, Raptor.
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Raptor
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 06:14 AM

I'm O.K. now, A bit hung-over.

This thread was to thank you all not to cry on your shoulders again but once again you proved the power of the cat.

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Raptor
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 06:18 AM

SRS We have a razorbill on the Niagra River just below the falls. He must have been blown in from the Atlantic. Someday I hope to Bird Texas.

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: jeffp
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 06:54 AM

When my wife died, somebody here provided a quote from the Queen Mother Elizabeth. "It doesn't get any better; we just get better at it." A sad truth.

Jeff

Subject: RE: BS: It's been 3 years
From: Alba
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 08:25 AM

Raptor ma Dear.... {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}} to you because sometimes words don't work!
Keep on, keeping on...

Love and Light
Jude