BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007

Subject: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 12:34 PM

The object of this challenge is to invent, identify, and observe as many species of fictitious or imaginary birds as possible during the year. You may observe them at any time, in any location, under any circumstances. In fact, the circumstances can be just as fictitious as the birds themselves It is not necessary to cite the exact location or circumstance of the sighting, but it may make for more fun.

So far this year I have seen:

Rednecked Peckerwood - Seen along the side of the Highway 178 leaning on a 2004 Ford F-150 pickup truck (with dogbox), armed with Winchester 30-06, presumably waiting for deer to cross road. Easily identifiable by camouflage apparel (with exception of baseball cap emblazoned with Confederate battle flag) and large wad of chewing tobacco in left cheek.

Bleachy-blonde Motormouth - Observed stopped at green traffic signal, talking on cellular phone, oblivious to surroundings, including presence of other motorists loudly sounding horns in vain attempts to get Motormouth to move through intersection before signal turns red again.

That's all I've seen so far this year, but I'm anxiously looking forward to sightings of other intriguing varieties like the Common Drunk, the Cumbersome Bore and, maybe, an Addlebrained Nitwit or two.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 01:01 PM

On occasion we observe a state of relaxation in the back yard dogs, in which they are so sprawled that they look rather like they were flung onto the turf from a low-flying aircraft. Perhaps it was actually a large prehistoric bird that dropped them. A gliding Dogdropausarus. (My spell check doesn't like that so I've overridden it).

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Slag
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 01:12 PM

Do you mean like the Double Crested Do-Nothings the perch in rotundas all about the country and devour Tax Pigeons?

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 01:14 PM

Bare-Breasted Eurochick Although an uncommon sight in North America, this bright-eyed creature can occasionally be found in the warm coastal regions of the Caribbean. I saw one in Negril Beach, Jamaica. The song was similar in intonation to that of the Danske Titflash, a related specimen found only in Scandinavia.

Reckless Numbnutted Dasher can be observed in most North American urban areas; typically seen weaving in and out of traffic at very low altitude and very high speed. This behaviour appears to be a mating advertisement engaged in by males. It is clearly an evolutionary asset which purifies the gene pool, eliminating the DNA of individuals with insufficient reflexes or an inadequate sense of self-preservation. I see several of these every week. They are usually brightly colored and emit loud noises. On rare occasions, a secondary call can be identified, which sounds something like "Aw--sheeeeit!" "Aw--sheeit!".
The purpose of this secondary call is unclear. It is often followed by loud screeching sounds.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Emma B
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 01:19 PM

The chavinch - not to be confused with hoodies
small agressive birds which gather in large noisy flocks in town centres Often attracted to bright trinkets; the male is distinguished by the cap on its head.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 02:08 PM

The Chavinch.......*ROFL*

I was thinking along such lines reading the 1st posts on this thread, & got to the bottom & I been beaten to it! I doubt my contribution would have been as good though!

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 02:27 PM

Looking that one up still doesn't help. It must be a British thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Cruiser
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 02:31 PM

LTS Tits

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 02:41 PM

in England Chavs are people like in this song by Mike Gregory
http://www.bigalwhittle.co.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/christmasontheestate.mp3

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 02:44 PM

*LOL* Sage!

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: ranger1
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 02:45 PM

American Mall Chatterer: juveniles frequently found in large flocks in enclosed spaces; brightly colored; calls usually consists of shrill or obnoxious sounds, followed by chattering to excess.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 03:10 PM

The Bird of Diminishing Returns, which flies in ever decreasing circles until it flies up it's own ass and disappears.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 03:20 PM

Silicone-breasted Baldsnatch - A group of about ten individuals observed at "Sammy's Club for Gentlemen". Members of this species are notorious for their willingness to perform simulated mating rituals with males (and sometimes females) of various species, but limiting their actual mating behaviors to members of the Beer-bellied Hogrider subspecies.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: MudGuard
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 03:27 PM

The Squeaking Triple-Tit - spotted in London near the Boundaries ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:30 AM

The search for the elusive Ream-nosed Romflombler goes on...

Then there's the Swanson's Glebe, the Great Western Glebe, the Maundering Glebe, and last of all, the Least Glebe.

Then there's the Razor-Winged Nutslasher. Always be sure to wear your skivvies when observing these birds closely.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: number 6
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:32 AM

3 pidgeons in my driveway.

A seagull on my neighbour's roof.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:45 AM

We had 3 crows in the big tree this morning. They're there every morning, and they make a lot of noise.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: number 6
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:54 AM

Crows are wonderful. I enjoy their daily sqwuaking. They control skies here in Saint John.

I should add they are much, much larger here in N.B. than the species in Ontario. Downright huge.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM

Not to be confused with the Black-Hearted Crowing Yuppifier despised in most sensible communities except certain parts of Texas and Florida.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 05:27 PM

Had a run in with a birdie dick the other day...

Well, judging by the powder blue, spoilered, pearlised penis extension he was driving.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 05:57 PM

Shhhhh! It's probably top secret but I spotted a Clintonus Hammondus Deleteus today!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 08:38 PM

Number 6 reported:

3 pidgeons in my driveway.

I've never seen a pidgeon in person. I've seen just one, in the movies. His name was Walter Pidgeon.

Now, I've seen lots of pigeons....

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 03:02 AM

If you hang around the film sets in Hollywood you might see the odd 'Seagal' or a 'Crowe'. A few years ago there was a Foster pretending to be a 'starling' and a short while ago a 'Sparrow' was seen on a Pirates of the Caribbean film set. Several 'tits' have also been seen in these locations. Obviously the number of birds with potential to be seen in Hollywood is hard to 'swallow'.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 03:29 AM

The Sir Christopher Wren, found mainly in central London, makes the most elaborate nests.

Don't go out when there's a Plasterer's Hawk in the vicinity.

The village of Ashover, not far from here, possesses a bird unique to the area. Because of its clumsiness and dysfunctional behaviour, such as flying into gateposts and falling out of trees, the Ashover Tit has failed to spread far.

And older twitchers will remember the Raven A, but that is now extinct from lung cancer.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:43 AM

Not to be overlooked, although often to be avoided, are the Greater Dickhead and the Lesser Dickhead. The former often flies in political circles; the latter is a common household phenomenon.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 10:22 AM

And the less said about the Obstreperous Fuckwit, the better. In fact, I've already said too much by merely mentioning it.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 10:28 AM

The recent population explosion among Mainiacal Kitschgifters is puzzling biologists world-wide; as all known specimens are female. For a while it has been hypothesized that the Cellered Comic may have been misidentified and is actually the male counterpart of the kitschgifter; though not exhibiting the same behaviorisms.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Flash Company
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 11:03 AM

The Greater Spotted Worzel Tit..... A great conversation stopper when you are travelling in a car with three ladies and haven't said a dicky-bird for about the last half hour!

FC

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 11:13 AM

The Cellar-Dwelling Barnsinger is renowned for its beautiful song, and also for its equally beautiful mate. Barnsingers are serially monogamous and care for their offspring long after the chicks have grown and flown from the nest, in an extended relationship. They are known to travel South on an annual Getaway migration, usually in pairs.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: number 6
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 11:22 AM

Yes I did see 3 pidgeons in my driveway yesterday ... Saint John is is the home town of the particular specie Walter. There are many pidgeons in Saint John. It was also home to a few Mayers, notably the famous Oscar species. But they are now extinct in this area.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 11:23 AM

Three Doofus Dimwitties were spotted yesterday in a parking lot, trying to fit into the same nesting space.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: number 6
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 11:27 AM

Correction it was the Louis specie ... not the Oscar the weinie bird.

Jeeeezuz ... this thread is to much.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 12:13 PM

The wide-spread Tit-Witted Cross-Billed Guester has the peculiar behaviour of sneaking into large communal nesting areas developed by other species, and spraying the structures with an acidic mud which it manufacturers in its large, irregular mouth. Because its plumage is mottled in dull streaks and shaded patches, it blends in invisibly before and after its defacements. The original occupants of the communal nest structure often twit about in consternation at first, but gradually just go on building their nesting areas and ignore the obnoxious intruder.

The Guester is related by DNA to the Mud-Slinging Troll-Twit and the Bitching Grebe.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 12:19 PM

ROFLOL...nice one Amos

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 12:37 PM

Last night I got my first close up look at a Loud-throated Do-Re-Mi-Fal-Sol-La Bird. Well, actually I didn't so much see as hear it. For a good 15 minutes its rising and falling call came from the vicinity of a parked car that had evidently been jostled.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 01:35 PM

Today I saw a 'crane' on a building site near Morrisons superstore..then in Morrisons I saw 'Stork' but chose Clover instead.I made a 'swift' exit from there with my friend Jack Daw who says he had an 'eagle' on the golf course yesterday. 'Birdies' on golf courses, whatever next. He invited me to play golf but I had to 'chicken' out and decided to 'swan' off into town. He had a little 'grouse' at me and threw one of his clubs, causing me to 'duck'
He is definitely not a pheasant plucker.

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: moongoddess
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:09 PM

I just saw a Yellow-Bellied Squat Thrust and it looked as if it were exercising. Like I should be!
Diana

Subject: RE: BS: Fictitious Birdwatching Challenge 2007
From: pdq
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:47 PM

Then there is the Sanctimonious Grossbeak, which can occasionally be seen in and around select locations in New York. The song of this species is actually a shrill screech, resembling the sound made by a house cat when it's tail gets stepped on.

To see one, it is often necessary to go to a $2,000.00 per ticket concert venue and rub elbows with watchers who are also known as "all the little people".