hi guys

i talked about part of this experience once before on the cat. here it is again, as the reason for my own belief in a supreme being.

i practised a form of meditation which was similar to Tibetan buddhism, although it was an indian practise. I spent over a dozen years practising meditation, four times a day, and yoga twice a day. I visited my spiritual teacher in India in 1976. He placed his hands hovering over my head, and at the time i felt nothing. I went through a difficult time from 1978 - 82, for various reasons, with my health and a bad marriage. the marriage had fallen apart the week before. I went to a group meditation, one evening a few days later. this is my experience:

At the beginning of the meditation, I had a feeling or perception that my spiritual teacher (who was in India at the time) had entered the room and walked across to me. I felt his hands hovering over my head, just as he had done when I visited him six years earluier. I meditated, eyes closed, concentrating until my mind became so still that my sense of observing self withdrew to a point of non- presence.

Suddenly I am in the night sky, space. A huge ball shoots away from me, becoming smaller, until it becomes a small dot in the universe and disappears in space. I have just zoomed from my planet towards a huge light, shooting through the universe. A hole in time, a pause.
I fly through the night sky, emerging from the closest star, the sun. From a huge mass of burning light that is conscious, explosive, vibrant. I zoom through the universe, towards my body which is now collapsed on the floor. Returning, I see myself in a totally detached way, my personality traits, faults and strengths, as if observing a genetic program.

I observe that I will enter that body, that genetic pattern, that I'm going to be that again, then I plunge straight back into that body and personality.

Now I am lying stretched out on the floor. My body feels saturated in light and is so conscious, and I am so drunk with ecstasy, that I cannot move. My mind is not limited to a point within my skull. My whole body is conscious and my mind is perceiving from my whole body. My body is made up of a sea of atoms/cells, each cell is glowing with golden light. Each cell is its own conscious entity. Each cell of my body is consciously perceiving. My mind is dwelling in my body, a sea of billions of little minds.

My three month old daughter is placed in my arms. I hold her, and she too becomes saturated in the golden cocoon of awareness. Some time later, my muscles are so relaxed that they don't function
properly. I have to be helped to sit up and walk because I can't
co-ordinate myself properly.

This happened in February 1982. It was not the result of imagination or visualisation. If it was i would do it every night. it felt real, like my spirit had left my body and the planet, flown through the starry sky and into a huge ball of conscious light (the sun?), a conscious entity, before emerging, returning, re entering my body, which was by now saturated with joy and in a state of complete ecstasy.

many years later, my daughter has grown up to have a very happy, almost charmed life. my own life was full of a huge amount of struggle and and many challenges, which were resolved about twenty years later. i now feel mostly at peace and feel I've had a lucky life, altho its been very difficult at times.