We've got sunlight on the sand
We've got moonlight on the sea
We've got mangoes and bananas we can pick right off a tree
We've got volleyball and ping-pong and a lot of dandy games
What ain't we got?
We ain't got dames!

We get packages from home
We get movies, we get shows
We get speeches from our skipper
And advice from Tokyo Rose
We get letters doused with perfume,
We get dizzy from the smell
What don't we get?
You know damn well

We've got nothing to put on a clean white suit for
What we need is what there ain't no substitute for

There is nothing like a dame
Nothing in the world
There is nothing you can name
That is anything like a dame

We feel restless, we feel blue
We feel lonely and in brief
We feel every kind of feeling
But the feeling of relief
We feel hungry as the wolf felt when he met Red Riding Hood
What don't we feel?
We don't feel good

Lots of things in life are beautiful but, brother
There is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever
In any way, shape, or form like any other

There is nothing like a dame
Nothing in the world
There is nothing you can name
That is anything like a dame

Nothing else is built the same
Nothing in the world...
Has a soft and wavy frame
Like the silhouette of a dame
There is absolutely nothing like the frame
Of a dame

[Whistling]

So supposed a dame ain't bright
Or completely free from flaws
Or as faithful as a bird-dog
Or as kind as Santa Claus
It's a waste of time to worry over things that they have not
Be thankful for
The things they've got

There is nothing you can name
That is anything like a dame

There are no books like a dame
And nothing looks like a dame
There are no drinks like a dame
And nothing thinks like a dame
Nothing acts like a dame
Or attracts like a dame
There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here
That can't be cured by putting him near
A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame