BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 02:35 PM

In my youth, I used to meet my Mother in the local ladies' salon on the odd occasion. Once I was old enough to understand the conversation, I was shocked - my Mother certainly didn't talk about such things... and I'm not sure whether the conversation was toned up or down for my benefit...

In my adult life, however, the most frequent comment has probably been - "not that...again!"

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Peace
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 04:44 PM

"My great big heaving nob."

Wheel barrow to get it around, then?

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: GUEST,Rufio
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 04:42 PM

"His Majesty"

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Hand-Pulled Boy
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:42 AM

My great big heaving nob.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 10:51 PM

I recall seeing a televised debate years ago from a rather austere English university which I cannot now name. Germaine Greer was debating a panel and at one point said something to the effect of : Little Suzy finds out at the age of five that little boys can simply stand and pee at the edge of the woods while on family outings in the country... at that moment, from the gallery, a voice asked, "Is that why they call them picknickers then ?"

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: GUEST,HILDA FISH
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 10:30 PM

I've just come back from up north and while up there I met one of my sons and his wife as I was walking along the main street of a small town. Forgot they were there!!! I was delighted and sat down with them. They looked beautiful, particularly radiant, and I said so. They advised me that they had just had wonderful news. They were expecting their third child - 7 weeks pregnant. They already have the just turned two year old, and the just turned one year old, both boys. I said, "jeez, you don't waste time" and my daughter in law said "Nah, I don't but it's his old bloke that's been extra busy". Another daughter in law has just had her third girl, all pretty close together. She said, "His loaded gun don't waste time and don't shoot blanks". What can you say? So there you go, Old Bloke and Loaded Gun.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Teresa
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 10:08 PM

Well, I've heard some pretty lusty, raunchy conversations among women, I'll tell you. I do agree with some of the other gals on here: there seems to be a different quality about the discussion, at least compared to what I *think* men talk about.

As far as I know, I think of men discussing cup size, penis size, and other specific aspects of the body.

Women, in my experience, tend to discuss concepts more than parts, as in: "I just bet I know what you were doing." It seems to me that even though the discussion is very suggestive, there's still some room for the imagination to fill in the blanks (which probably makes such a conversation even more graphic).

I really haven't heard many alternative terms for penis. dick, cock, willie,all the usual names.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 09:14 PM

Got number 100! Oh joy!

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 09:14 PM

You think so? It's usually men who call schlongs "dicks" isn't it?

Oh shit. Did it again. Doh!

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 09:11 PM

That's why women shouldn't call a schlong a dick. It's belittling.
(I'm outta here I can't believe I even opened this (a couple of times).)

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 08:53 PM

Thanks for that endorsement of my line of reasoning, Stilly. We men need all the encouragement we can get, because we are THICK, lemme tell ya. Dense. Like, Duh! Eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 08:17 PM

Well, duh.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 08:12 PM

I think it's men who talk all the time about penises, not women. That's my impression, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 06:46 PM

awwwww....tsk! It ain't fair!
I guess I should be happy that Viagra is not (yet) indicated.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 06:12 PM

Sadly, Bill D, the subject 'arises' all too infrequently.....

If it does, we call it 'a bleedin' miracle!'

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Joybell
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 06:05 PM

I really wish I could help, gecko, but I'm nearly 60. (can't be true!) and I just can't.
I was brought up in a working-class suburb, worked as a nurse, sang in pubs and classy restaurants, rode the Greyhound for a couple of months in America. Been in a lot of "powder rooms" "Dunnyies" and the like and got involved in lots of conversations with friends and strangers. Willies have come up, if you'll excuse the pun, at times, but I don't recall any particular names we used. Womens' private conversations can be as colourful and creative as those among men, I think, but they just doesn't seem to go in the same direction. This runs to the singing of bawdy songs as well. That's much more apparent among males.
Wish I could help. Sorry. Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 03:52 PM

Thread drift, somewhat, but I have often suspected that the frequently found "willy" is a corruption of the latin "membrum virile"

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 03:48 PM

I find that eating cheese before going to bed leads to dreams like that too.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 03:00 PM

Most of the girls that I know tend to refer to my penis as "that", such as," Chrsit almighty, look at the size of that, I have to have that tonight."

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:39 PM

I had that flexi disc, and oh how I wish I still did. Gems like,

Good King Wenceslas got pissed on the feast of Stephen
Said the fuzz we know you're pissed[?]
Into this bag you're breathing
Brightly shone the crystals green
Due to excess wassail
Christmas is a groovy scene
God bless Barbara Castle.

deathless prose or what?

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:25 PM

well, gecko...I suspect that there are many differences in what women say privately to other women. It no doubt depends on their social class, as well as how well they are acquainted and what MOOD they are in when the subject 'arises'. In the last analysis, most of the common terms no doubt get used, just as between men.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:53 PM

There's another Monty Python song... done a la Noel Coward, which goes something like 'isn't it frightfully nice to have a willy', isn't it awfully good to have a dong'....

A pleasant one to listen to in the car when transporting 8 year olds around....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:21 PM

OK Mrzzy - "My fave of the Monty Python litany was the One-Eyed Trouser Snake."

I've got a little animal, I suppose you'd call it a pet
But if there's something wrong with it, I don't have to call the vet.
He goes everywhere that I go, whether sleeping or awake -
God help me if I ever lost my one eyed trouser snake!

Attributed to Barry "Scott" McKenzie, on the Private Eye flexi-disc "The Abominable Radio Gnome", December 1967.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: GUEST,Animal Whackers
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 09:56 AM

What does a gecko call his? Pardon, what does a lady gecko call her mates you-know-whats?

Animal Wh(Cr)ackers

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 07:03 AM

Thanks for the 'Woody's' site info but I found it to be a puerile and sad sack site, if you'll pardon the pun, most probably written by men for men, with the aid of a good thesaurus!

How smug you are. This is a poor excuse for a thread. Shove your sexism.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 03:26 AM

From 'Lady Chatterley's Lover', D H Lawrence, final paragraph:

"John Thomas says good night to Lady Jane, a little droopingly, but with a hopeful heart."

Droopy Ned must be a different book.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 11:51 PM

I think it was a brand of ice cream, Joe...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 11:40 PM

I wonder where I heard the term "Mister Friendly"...

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Metchosin
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 09:51 PM

Jeez perhaps I've lived a sheltered life, but it seems unlikely. Talk between females in pairs or groups can on occasion get just as over the top sometimes as "the mens", but I haven't noticed too much gender difference as to euphemisms, except perhaps less references as to some kind of weapon, but maybe I wasn't paying much attention. The whole tends to be discussed, with no particular obsession on the parts.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 09:17 PM

Years ago, before graduate school, back when I had little time to do anything but laundry and change diapers, trashy romance novels were light-weight enough to read but not greive over if you didn't get to finish them. Now the writers of those bits of yellow "literature" found some pretty silly euphemisms for penis. I don't think they ever actually wrote the word. "Manhood" was a common one. It has been about 15 years since I read many of those, so changing times may have changed the euphemisms. But I'd be willing to bet they're still practicing poetic license in naming body parts.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 09:01 PM

What unity?

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 09:00 PM

I usually give them a name, like Charlie. But I have to know one well enough for it to have developed a personality, which is what makes me think of the name. It kind of pops up, that is... My fave of the Monty Python litany was the One-Eyed Trouser Snake. Link to the litany, somebody?

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: gecko
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 08:33 PM

What a great response, especially from the blokes! What I'm really looking for are the names or terms that women use when they talk to each other. I'm not sure that men would know what these are or even be aware that women could possibly view male 'bits and pieces' with less affection and pride that they do themselves. So, sisters, take a deep breath and PM me if you don't want your cover blown!
Here are a few to get you going: 'nudger' - and what woman hasn't been 'nudged' awake at some ungodly hour; 'It' - as in "and then he got 'it' out; 'whatsit' - as in "he's always got his 'whatsit' in his hand".

Thanks for the 'Woody's' site info but I found it to be a puerile and sad sack site, if you'll pardon the pun, most probably written by men for men, with the aid of a good thesaurus!

Yours in Unity
gecko

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 07:53 PM

dingle dangle (swinging proud and free . . . or just plain swinging in the breeze?)
John Thomas, of COURSE, from Lady Chat
"Kidney-scraper" -- but that's not a term I'd use.

Linn

(BTW, I really like "dangling element".)

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 07:32 PM

Here's a grammar term for it....the "dangling element".

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 07:28 PM

Howitzer? 'ol 105mm?....musta been....ummmm...'interesting'

(but it IS the first place I have ever seen the word my mother used for 'it' when I was a kid!)

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: alanabit
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 07:26 PM

I think that Mellor's appendage was also referred to as "Droopy Ned" at the end of Lady Chatterley. I don't have a copy any more, but I think the last line is something about Droopy Ned wishing Lady Jane good night. Where is Peter T when we need him?
We use the terms penis and vagina with our childen too. We have no embarrassment and neither do they. I don't see anything wrong with referring to them in joky terms as well though. Plenty of our language has no colour at all.
I am a little baffled though why we should need a euphemism for any part of the body. I can't think of any body part which I would want to lose(although I don't miss my appendix much, I confess).

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: harpgirl
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:58 PM

gee wiz Bill, that was way more than I wanted to know. But I didn't see "Howitzer" on the list. I guess he was one of a kind!!! Yes, I do believe he was! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:47 PM

There's a whole museum of them in Rekyavik, Iceland....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:44 PM

I had a friend in my 20's, a guy who was so shy of woman that he could barely speak in their presence. He used to boast loudly to the other guys about his penis, however, when women were not around, and he referred to it as "Little Wally". This occasioned a lot of amusement among the rest of us, given the fact that "Litte Wally" had clearly never been let out of the stall, let alone been put through his paces on the track itself.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:35 PM

folks...this is the WorldWideWeb!...of COURSE there is a website dedicated to precisely this subject. (I made a bet with myself before I did the search)

"Woody's" naturally

kinda scary....

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:31 PM

A co-worker said her (ex)boyfriend called it "winky the one-eyed wonder lizard".

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:20 PM

Well, here are some cultural terms, not necessarily euphemisms, but maybe:

From England - John Thomas (penis) Lady Jane (vagina) D.H. Lawrence, just to be outrageous, titled a novel of his "John Thomas and Lady Jane". It was the first draft of "Lady Chatterley's Lover" and is said to be actually a better book than the more famous one. I read both back in my early 20's, and I think JT & LJ is the better of the two.

From China - Jade Stem (penis), Turtle Head (penis), and numerous other poetic terms. These are from the taoist tradition. They saw sex not as a moral matter, but a health matter, and they were quite correct, in fact. Jade Gate was the vagina, which had, again, many other poetically descriptive names.

Common American slang - whanger, tool

Not hard to see how American civilization rates when you compare it to Taoism... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:12 PM

John Thomas was the euphemism used in Lady Chatterly's Lover I believe.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Joybell
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:10 PM

Here in Aus, in the 1950s, little coctail frankfurts were always called "little boys". Might still be for all I know. It became so familiar as a title that there are all sorts of stories about women asking for them by that name and nobody laughing.

My brother was named "John Thomas". What were they thinking? Not as bad as the "Richard Head" I knew though.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: BusyBee Paul
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 05:17 PM

Having just posted on the Dickhead thread by mistake (!) - another UK euphemism is "John Thomas". If I had had a son I was going to call him that anyway (but that's another story!).

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 04:42 PM

A friend of mine has a fourteen year old boy who recently went through a sex ed class. One step of it was to have the boys and girls in separated groups recite "Penis! Vagina!" repeatedly until the mortal embarrassment wore off it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 04:37 PM

More education in the proper names for genitals would probably be a good thing. I see a lot of people in the media who confuse vulva and vagina.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: Metchosin
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 04:31 PM

We always used the REAL life terms with our daughters too, brucie. It didn't seem to cause them any harm.

Subject: RE: BS: Women's euphemisms for 'penis'
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 04:31 PM

>>We told her that is was what the pee-pees are called in REAL life.<<

HA!