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Folklore: modern proverb
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: leeneia Date: 14 Oct 20 - 10:41 AM Jack, I love your proverb "Nine women can't make a baby in a month." It reminds me a legislators who think that if we just put enough pressure on teachers and kids, then neglected kids who have almost no vocabulary will become excellent readers. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Nick Dow Date: 14 Oct 20 - 10:11 AM Say that again Doug? |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Richard Mellish Date: 14 Oct 20 - 05:41 AM Nick Dow quoted > Nothing can be fool proof, because fools are ingenious. Here's a variation on that which seems worth quoting, albeit that it is highly politically incorrect. It came from a late boss of mine, applying to the design of medical equipment. "You can make it foolproof. You can even make it bloody fool proof. But you can't make it nurse proof." Behind that is the sad truth that nurses are often overworked and under-trained for the tasks that they are expected to perform. RTFM does presume that the M is even available. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Big Al Whittle Date: 13 Oct 20 - 09:04 PM Derek brimstone used to say...never ignore an omen Never walk across the M1 with your eyes closed. It a wise man who forbears from kicking a bulldog in the knackers, when he's got his hand in its mouth. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Jack Campin Date: 13 Oct 20 - 08:36 PM Nine women can't make a baby in a month. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Nick Dow Date: 13 Oct 20 - 07:26 PM When you're up to your nose in it, keep your mouth shut! Nothing can be fool proof, because fools are ingenious. Never argue with a fool, some people might not know the difference. If God had meant the Americans to vote he would have given them candidates. (Utah Phillips) Absence of mind is a cerebral condition essential to survive exposure to Party Political Broadcasts, preaching, traffic wardens, jobsworths, and the BBC. (Nick Dow influenced by Ambrose Bierce) |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler Date: 13 Oct 20 - 05:57 PM The first law is: if anything can go wrong it will go wrong. The second law is: The first law cannot be used to advantage. Robin |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Joe_F Date: 13 Oct 20 - 05:39 PM Pessimism can offer only the empty consolation of being right. The tragedy is not what we suffer, but what we miss. Be inobviously tuitive. Threats are expensive when they fail; promises are expensive when they succeed. Look if you like, but you will have to leap. A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts. We can learn a lot about ourselves by studying the lower animals, especially those of our own species. Take it easy, but take it. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Nick Dow Date: 13 Oct 20 - 04:33 PM He who keeps his head when all around are losing theirs has thought of somebody to blame it on. The four stages of becoming a professional Folk Singer.. 1. Don't be stupid, stop wasting your time. 2. Well I suppose it might work, but it isn't worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along! 4. I knew ****** before anybody had heard of them. A corollary has been added to the well known Murphy's law, also known as Sod's Law. A fellow researcher called O'Toole has summed up his discoveries in one sentence. Murphy was an optimist! |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Steve Shaw Date: 13 Oct 20 - 05:22 AM The real genius was the man who invented the second telephone. Illegitimes non carborundum (Don't let the b*ast*ards grind you down). One man's fish is another man's poisson. Give a man a bucket of coal and you keep him warm for the night. Set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Allanwill Date: 13 Oct 20 - 12:04 AM Try that again! Thanks, Mark - I can just picture Dave Allen sitting on his stool with his glass of booze, his cigarette and his missing finger uttering those profound words. I feel vindicated! Allan |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Joe_F Date: 12 Oct 20 - 09:44 PM It is tasteless to recommend one's own taste, but scarcely honest to recommend any other. Better pissed off than on. Had enough? Drop dead. Better a clown than a clone. Calling someone stupid is a cheap substitute for saying something smart. Happiness is the best preparation for misery, if misery must come. First of all, don't make it worse. An exact answer to the wrong question may be a rough answer to the right one. If you don't like the fortune, don't eat the cookie. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: leeneia Date: 12 Oct 20 - 02:07 PM Oh, I dunno, Richard. Great things sometimes happen. ============ I found a good new proverb on a video from Bob & Brad, the physical therapists: Broken crayons still color. By the way, if you have joint pain, Bob & Brad have a lot of good advice. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Richard Mellish Date: 12 Oct 20 - 09:47 AM I'm surprised that no-one has yet offered "If it looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true". |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST Date: 12 Oct 20 - 09:20 AM Power tools enable mistakes to be made more swiftly. If at first you don't succeed, Google it. You may kiss a nun once, but don't get into the habit. When your pigeons come home to roost, don't look upwards. Dyslexic witches can put a speel on you. Keep the dream alive; press the snooze button. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks (unless you're on F*c*book). Politics is the second-oldest profession, due to its close resemblance to the first. A journey of a thousand Youtube videos begins with a single click. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Doug Chadwick Date: 12 Oct 20 - 07:51 AM If a job looks neat, it's probably right. If it's not neat, it can't possibly be right. DC |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Doug Chadwick Date: 12 Oct 20 - 07:12 AM The further you swing to either left or right, the nearer you come to the same point on the circle. DC |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Doug Chadwick Date: 12 Oct 20 - 06:53 AM Rights come with responsibilities. DC |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler Date: 12 Oct 20 - 06:40 AM As Les Barker says "It's a small world, unless you are the one that has to paint it". Robin (doing some DIY). |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,John from Kemsing Date: 12 Oct 20 - 06:30 AM Measure twice, cut once. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Mark Date: 12 Oct 20 - 06:04 AM Alanwill: The late great Dave Allen always claimed that the Irish didn't have a word for "manana" as they didn't understand that level of urgency, and the Irish proverb ran "Never leave till tomorrow what you can leave till next Wednesday, and if it can wait that long, you probably needn't bother". |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: BobL Date: 12 Oct 20 - 03:02 AM When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. A millisecond is a long time in computing. Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (Hanlon's razor). BUT Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice (Grey's Law). When eating wild mushrooms, leave some for the doctor to analyse. Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got asthma. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: leeneia Date: 12 Oct 20 - 01:11 AM Joe, I read something like one yours in the horoscope: Slow down, and do it right the first time. I thought to myself, "That could be a proverb." |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Allanwill Date: 11 Oct 20 - 09:46 PM My philosophy on life? - "Always put off until tomorrow what you should do today". A bit like the Aussie adage when things go pear-shaped - "She'll be right, mate". One saying that really annoys me - "cheap at half the price" OF COURSE, if it is half the original price it is, ergo, cheaper! Now, if a thing is "cheap at TWICE the price" then it really is a bargain. Allan |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Joe_F Date: 11 Oct 20 - 05:43 PM The starting point of conversation is contradiction. There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over. Those who will not do arithmetic are doomed to talk nonsense. Be sweet, and you'll be eaten. Feeling better? Watch out! The prince of virtues is courage, and the crown of courage is contempt for public opinion. Truth is too small a fish to be caught in the law's coarse meshes. If you think you've said something smart about the mind-body problem, try it out on the wave-water problem. Too lively, and your dead. If you rest on your laurels, you're wearing them in the wrong place. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Oct 20 - 04:14 PM Yes, it's harder to fool little girls these days. I have that around here somewhere. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Mrrzy Date: 11 Oct 20 - 03:20 PM Love that book, leeneia! That quote about the morning coffee wearing off and with it the impression that Things are Right and Life is Good, or something, has stuck with me. Also the moral from another Fable for our times, something like It is harder to fool little girls nowadays? |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: leeneia Date: 11 Oct 20 - 03:00 PM Got it, Mrrzy. I'm an admirer of Thurber and must have picked that proverb up by reading one of his books. As a matter of fact, I've been reading "The Thurber Carnival" at bedtime, including such favorites as The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and the Night the Bed Fell. I've got to admit that some pieces are just not interesting, but nobody's perfect. "The Man who Hated Moonbaum" used to baffle me, but now that I've read P.G. Wodehouse's descriptions of life in the movie industry and I've read some livre noir, I understand it. It's not a proverb, but here's a noir phrase that lives on at my house: Hot coffee, black and bitter as sin... also: I gave her one of my cards, one without a picture of a tommy gun on it. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Newport Boy Date: 11 Oct 20 - 11:38 AM Not really a proverb, but it does offer (negative) advice. A response to any suggested action (often political) that has little chance of success: That's about as much use as shouting 'shit' up a dark alley! (My father-in-law) |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Long Firm Freddie Date: 11 Oct 20 - 08:55 AM It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it. LFF |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Norval Date: 11 Oct 20 - 12:54 AM Test the Covid-19 vaccine on politicians, If they Live the vaccine is safe, If they Die the country is safe. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: ketchdana Date: 10 Oct 20 - 07:24 PM A couple of Les Barker's monologues on youtube:
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4XD127TgL4 ] |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Doug Chadwick Date: 10 Oct 20 - 06:57 PM Moral: He who hesitates is sometimes saved. This is already covered by "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" and by "Look before you leap" DC |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GerryM Date: 10 Oct 20 - 06:54 PM It's not clear to me how recent a proverb has to be to be considered "modern" for this thread. One of the ones Joe F gave a couple of posts upthread, "Better to shut your mouth and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt," goes back over a century. Quote Investigator studies it, and concludes, "The earliest known appearance of the adage discovered by QI occurred in a book titled “Mrs. Goose, Her Book” by Maurice Switzer. The publication date was 1907 and the copyright notice was 1906. The book was primarily filled with clever nonsense verse, and the phrasing in this early version was slightly different: "It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it." |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Mrrzy Date: 10 Oct 20 - 06:31 PM He who hesitates is sometimes saved is James Thurber's: “The Glass In The Field” By James Thurber A short time ago some builders, working on a studio in Connecticut, left a huge square of plate glass standing upright in a field one day. A goldfinch flying swiftly across the field struck the glass and was knocked cold. When he came to, he hastened to his club, where an attendant bandaged his head and gave him a stiff drink. “What the hell happened?” asked a sea gull. “I was flying across a meadow when all of a sudden the air crystallized on me,” said the goldfinch. The sea gull and a hawk and an eagle all laughed heartily. A swallow listened gravely. “For fifteen years, fledgling and bird, I’ve flown this country,” said the eagle, “and I assure you there is no such thing as air crystallizing. Water, yes; air, no.” “You were probably struck by a hailstone,” the hawk told the goldfinch. “Or he may have had a stroke,” said the sea gull. “What do you think, swallow?” “Why, I—I think maybe the air crystallized on him,” said the swallow. The large birds laughed so loudly that the goldfinch became annoyed and bet them each a dozen worms that they couldn’t follow the course he had flown across the field without encountering the hardened atmosphere. They all took his bet; the swallow went along to watch. The sea gull, the eagle and the hawk decided to fly together over the route the goldfinch indicated. “You come, too,” they said to the swallow.” “I—I—well, no,” said the swallow. “I don’t think I will.” So the three large birds took off together, and they hit the glass together, and they were all knocked cold. Moral: He who hesitates is sometimes saved. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Charmion Date: 10 Oct 20 - 06:23 PM Time spent in reconnaissance is seldom wasted. Measure twice, cut once. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Joe_F Date: 10 Oct 20 - 06:16 PM When tempted to make a generalization about Christians, try it out on Communists, and vice versa. The world goes its way past all who will not partake of its folly. Better to shut your mouth and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt. Ask a foolish question, feel foolish. Don't ask it, stay foolish. Be sincere: fool yourself first. What sticks to the spoon doesn't get stirred. Imprudent sexual activity completes the life cycles of many pests. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST Date: 10 Oct 20 - 05:39 PM After consulting my bookshelf for the correct details, I can report the following. In 1969, the book Thank you for the Giant Sea Tortoise was published, containing answers to competitions from New York magazine. One of the competitions was for meaningless proverbs, and these were among the entries that were published: You can't straighten a snake by pulling it through a straw. Old goats make good wineskins. Not every firstborn becomes king. You can make a pigskin wallet out of a sow's ear. A short man on horseback can look down on a tall man on the ground. While three wise men can pull a troika, a fool can be eating kasha. The stars do not wait for the king's birthday to shine. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: leeneia Date: 10 Oct 20 - 04:29 PM Jos, that's a good question. I guess it's true that a proverb offers advice. Here's one that does, but it doesn't seem to at first. It's from my husband: Gravity never gives up. The reason it's advice is that it's usually spoken when something is missing, and the missing thing is apt to be found under a piece of furniture or somewhere else that gravity took it to. Let's be careful. Defining proverbs could turn into one of those Mudcat wrangles that never ends, just like defining a folksong. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,paperback Date: 10 Oct 20 - 03:13 PM Whatever Hits the Fan is Never Evenly Distributed |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Mo the caller Date: 10 Oct 20 - 11:17 AM The one I heard from my mother Be good. If you can't be good be careful. And the version I heard from my daughter ... If you can't be careful, buy a pram. The one quoted above about skydiving is from Les Barker. Who twists several sayings in one of his monologues. Can't find that one online so how about this one of his A boomerang's not just for Christmas; A boomerang is for life. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Jos Date: 10 Oct 20 - 10:21 AM Shouldn't a proverb include an element of advice, or at least useful information? Not sure if this counts as a proverb but it does offer advice - I remember my mother saying "If you can't go out and enjoy yourself, stay in and enjoy yourself." |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: leeneia Date: 10 Oct 20 - 10:07 AM When I gave my talk, I showed that many modern proverbs take a word and use it two different ways. Here's an example: They're sick and tired of being sick and tired. I collected that from a loud voice in a Wendy's restaurant near the University of Kansas Medical Center. ========= Here are three I made up myself, based on older proverbs: The watched pot never boils over. The early worm gets eaten by the bird. (a common theme) He who hesitates is sometimes saved. Lighter, I know what you mean. Apparently some people think proverbs have to be old-fashioned and preferably rural. That's not my view. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Mark Finn Date: 10 Oct 20 - 09:18 AM "If at first you don't succeed - try the outfield." "My get-up-and-go got up and went." “Some people fight fire with fire. I've found water to be more effective.” |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,wireharp Date: 10 Oct 20 - 09:11 AM "If at first you don't succeed, try try again. Then Quit. No need to be a damned fool about it" - W.C.Fields |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Anon Date: 10 Oct 20 - 08:57 AM The early bird catches the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Dave Hanson Date: 10 Oct 20 - 08:37 AM You can't educate pork. Dave H |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: GUEST,Roderick A Warner Date: 10 Oct 20 - 08:10 AM ‘Never educate a mug... ‘ |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Lighter Date: 10 Oct 20 - 07:06 AM Interesting that so many of these ridicule long-recognized proverbs. Why should that be? I can't recall anything like it in old collections. And by "old," I mean before about 1970. |
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Subject: RE: Folklore: modern proverb From: Doug Chadwick Date: 10 Oct 20 - 06:59 AM If you can keep your head in a crisis, then you don't understand the problem. DC |
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