BS: My Husband.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 02:02 AM

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other woman has, You wish you had ordered that.

Losing a husband can be very hard... in my case it's proving impossible.

Why are single women thin and married women not? Single women come in, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come in, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.....!

What's the difference between a husband and a lover? About four hours.

What's the difference between a man and a chocolate bar? A chocolate bar will satisfy a woman every time, doesn't get upset when you fancy a different flavour and is even better if it goes soft!

Me, cynical??

Georgian - I think I paraphrased it from some comedienne but for the life of me can't remember who, it was pre Jo Brand, so it may well be mine!

Moi, cynical???

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 11:43 AM

"Mistress" - something between 'Mister' and 'mattress'.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 10:37 AM

That's a cracker Liz....is that someone elses quip or your own original?

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 07:09 AM

If you're the mistress and he says he'll leave his wife for you.. don't let him, you're just creating a vacancy.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 12:46 PM

Megan , you are one of a kind ( Anam Cara )

I have been married for 22 year and together with my wife
for 26 .

so hear hear .

regards guest

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 12:11 PM

"If he's having an affair behind your back, he's NOT the right man!"

Does than mean he might still be ok if he's open about it?

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: ranger1
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:50 AM

Well, Jay-boy and I have been together pushing nine years and decided to go the domestic partnership route instead of marriage. Works for us, no property, no kids and my job provides insurance for both of us.

He annoys me in many ways, but I do the same to him. That being said, he also is one of the sweetest men I've ever met and has a very broad romantic streak. He also leaves me free to be who I am and doesn't try to change me into someone I'm not. What more can anyone ask from their partner?

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 08:45 AM

Oxymoron alert!!!!!
If he's having an affair behind your back, he's NOT the right man!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Megan L
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 08:39 AM

The first question is Why?


Not all men are evil sons of bitches just as neither are all women.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 08:31 AM

Well, you're a real little ray of sunshine, aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 07:52 AM

Be cautious when you find the right man,he could be having an affair behind your back.



Scooby.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Megan L
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:11 AM

He's not the most handsome.
He's not the cleverest.
he's not even the most patient
Heck diabetes, two heart attacks, depression and being stuck in a wheelchair when you were once so act ive has an effect on anyone.
But there is not one man in this world i would swap him for.

For richer for poorer
In sickness and in health

24 years on the 12th of August

Dauvitt's Meg

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Janie
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:36 AM

While recent research shows that marriage carries benefits for both men and women, nearly all the research shows that marriage is more beneficial to men than to women. Married men enjoy better health and longer life expectancy than unmarried men, even if the marriage is unhappy. For women, however, the picture is a little different. Women in happy marriages and women who are alone both tend to be healthier and have longer life expectancies than do women in unhappy marriages.

Earlier research suggested that even women in happy marriages did not benefit as much from marriage as did men. More recent studies use broader criteria for well-being and indicate that happily married women benefit nearly as much from marriage as do men.

In terms of physical health, women who choose to be stay at home moms (i.e. not only do they want to, but the man earns enough so that it does not cause significant financial stress for the family) tend to be much healthier than any other group of women. I would be curious to know whether or not the men fare as well in this circumstance as do other married men. I don't recall seeing any reports of studies on this in the literature on marriage and family.

I think women tend to experience relationship, including the marital relationship, from a much more nuanced perspective than do men. And therefore, women are more likely to feel much more ambivalent, or, at least, ambiguous.

I don't know this to be true, but in good marriages, I suspect women are more likely to feel satisfied, and men are more likely to feel happy.

We now know that nature and nurture work hand-in-hand to influence brain development beginning at birth. The testosterone bathed brain or the estrogen bathed brain, combined with the socialization process that begins at delivery (pink for girls, blue for boys) is what is probably primarily responsible for the difference.

Janie (the unromantic.)

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:39 PM

There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses.
The results are interesting:

10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.

5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.

The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: KT
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 10:14 PM

LOL, Brett!

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Naemanson
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:56 PM

My husband is the best in the world. He is sweet, kind, intelligent, handsome, and a good cook.

Signed,

Wakana

(Too bad she's not here to write it herself...)

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:46 PM

I have a pretty good one too. I just wish he wasn't quite so cranky most of the time. Then again, I can get pretty cranky too.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: jacqui.c
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 08:42 PM

My husband is a wonderful man. He has to be - I had an accident in his prized car today (no-one hurt) and he got to being understanding in double quick time!

I knew he was a goodun - I wouldn't have travelled 3000 miles to be with him if not - but this has just shown me how right I was.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 04:01 PM

Well Charley...it was a great idea...and sorry for forgetting who made the dare....

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:38 AM

Georgiansilver-

That was no "someone." That was me!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Bee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:34 AM

Ah, meself, it's a pure miracle I manage to live with one man, a second one would just be so much clutter underfoot! ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 08:29 AM

Not even me??

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Bee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 12:04 AM

I can help with that...

My husband and I are very different in many ways, and have many mutually exclusive interests and opinions. We married late, first marriage for both, and many of our friends were dismayed by our choice. We celebrated our sixteenth anni. this weekend.

He's smart, funny, brave, soft-hearted, hardworking, old-fashioned, shy, but boisterous with friends, playful, kind, and loving. I admire him, respect him, and love him. I cannot imagine marrying anyone else.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Alice
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 11:36 PM

Why is this thread not (yet) as sweet as the one about wives?

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Bob Hitchcock
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 10:38 PM

A woman goes to the Doctor for her annual check up. Returning home, she sees her husband lounging in front of the TV drinking beer, he says "How did it go?" She replies " the doctor said I have the breasts of a 25 year old and the face of a 30 year old". The husband says "Oh yeah! what did he say about your 55 year old Ass?" "Funny" she replied "your name never came up"

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 10:37 PM

me

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 09:28 PM

Marriage is an institution !
















Who wants to be Institutionalised ?

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: bobad
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 07:29 PM

Married life - an oxymoron.

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 06:34 PM

A life sentence can be shorter!

Subject: RE: BS: My Husband.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 05:36 PM

Ah... a victim of premature posting.

I posted this on the wife thread cos I didn't see this one...

Bigamy is having one husband too many, so is monogamy.

And to continue the drift...

'Doctor, when I was making love the other day I looked up and my husband was making an awful face at me... is this normal?'

'Was he exerting himself in an extraordinary fashion?'

'No, he was standing in the doorway watching us'..


Marriage - word or sentence?

LTS

Subject: BS: My Husband.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 04:42 PM

I started the thread entitled "My wife" as something of a joke...and it took on a wonderfully serious side. Someone dared suggest that a thread about husbands should perhaps start.........so here it is ladies..tell'em what you think about them.
Best wishes, Mike.